milo-chan

[milo-chan]

Really happy I got to go on a trip to Palawan with Wil (my boyfriend, black hair) over the long weekend. It was filled with a lot of laughs, poor decisions, fast food, and it was really tiring but we both had a great time! 😁

[02.24.19]

[milo-chan]

So, we ended up going out for burgers today and I feel happy just to be with this guy right here (it’s weird cause I don’t eat burgers often, so this is definitely a special occasion).

Even if it’s just a simple celebration on the day after our anniversary, I really had fun today. There were a lot of laughs which is somewhat unusual for us, but I’m happy to see the direction where our relationship is heading and I’m looking forward to all the good things that is yet to come. 👨‍❤‍👨

[05.30.18]

[milo-chan]

This song has been stuck in my head for a while now. It kind of makes me want to go to the beach and just lay there watching the sunset.

[milo-chan]

Happy Valentines Day! I’m very happy that I got to spend the whole day with my boyfriend, and I’m really thankful to have him. We’re both still young and we’re definitely far from perfect, but I do hope that we both learn from each other and grow together as people. I love you! 💕

(Late Post - 2.15.18)

[milo-chan]

Hey I miss you. Are you okay?

Uhm, hello, my mind is just experiencing a bunch of intense emotions, tbh I don’t even know anymore

[milo-chan]

The hardest feeling of today is hearing the way how my mom’s love for our family finally died out. I always knew we were a legitimately broken family, but shit. Being pushed to the brink, enough for her to express how much she regrets being a part of our family. I could only nod in silence, as I agreed. But my heart was so torn, I often said that I didn’t care. I’m 20 years old now, and it’s at that time in my life when I could honestly say that I wish I was never born. When the person who partook in conceiving you tells you she regrets every contribution she made to build up this family, it makes me think that my whole life has been some kind of mistake I guess. There was once a time when I was 7 years old, and I constantly feared death back then. 

13 years later, and the same person who once feared death, now dreads the idea of living to see the world another day. To be honest, if there was a chance for me to end my life soon, I would grab it and run with it. There’s nothing stopping me from just giving up, except for my moral obligation to continue this life. If I only knew that I were to die soon, I wouldn’t do the slightest thing to prevent it. I would embrace it with my head up in the clouds, my eyes heavy with tears, and tell myself, “you had a good run, now it’s time to pack your bags and leave this world”. After all, who’s going to mourn over someone like me? I wouldn’t shed not one tear for myself, my mom probably wouldn’t either, so why would anyone else?

(10.12.17)

[milo-chan]

*Late Post* - Posted on 3.5.17

♥♥♥ So happy I got to spend time with this girl! One of my few best friends I met in college. She’s super amazing. Got to visit her house in Marikina, play video games, take a walk beside the river banks, and eat three green mangos. It was really nice to be able to talk to her and just chill out. ♥♥♥

(1.31.17)

[milo-chan]

Final year in college

After taking a leave from college during my senior year, I returned last August of 2016 after a nine month break. Going back to college when most of my college best friends are gone is kind of surreal. There’s barely any reason to stay in school after my classes. No one to hang out with. I wouldn’t say that I’m lonely, but it just feels so strange being alone all the time. While all of my closest friends are out there in the workforce, I’m still here. Studying. Barely getting through these classes. Hopefully I’ll get over it. So excited to finally finish college in less than two months.

(3.5.17)

[milo-chan]

I’m a Cancer, and even though I like side-scrollers a lot, I’m definitely more of an MMO/RPG kind of guy.

What kind of gamer are you?

Open-world - Aquarius, Libra MMO/RPG - Taurus, Pisces FPS - Aries, Leo Strategy - Capricorn, Gemini MOBA/PVP - Scorpio, Virgo Side-Scrollers - Cancer, Sagittarius

[milo-chan]

Relapse. NOOoooooo

[milo-chan]

Whenever I feel like crying while walking my dog, my dog stops walking around and begins to lick me.

Like wtf dog, I was having an emotional moment there. Give me a few minutes pls.

[milo-chan]

This makes me tear up every time I see it. If I forced you to watch this movie, it means you’re special. (Screenshot from Pokemon the First Movie - Mewtwo Strikes Back, 1999)

[milo-chan]

Since when did I suddenly stop caring about what people thought of me?

It has been a month since I started wearing the same clothes everyday (I have 20 shirts all the same color. 3 hoodies, same color. 6 similar pairs of jeans. I bathe everyday.) Also it has been about 4 months since my last haircut.

[milo-chan]

Read from the LRT, on the way home from school

“Ang umaga ay nilalang upang ihanda sa pagtatamasa ng kasiyahan sa kinahapunan” (Rizal, 1887)

...“at ang gabi’y upang mangarap at magsaya sa mga alaalang pumupukaw ng damdamin.”

[milo-chan]

Reminiscing my birthday last year...

Went to a fancy restaurant with Athena (07.04.15) and the SM North Edsa food court with Shaina (07.05.15) on my 19th birthday! My best college friend/thesismate and my close friend! I’m sorry it took so long for me to recognise how special you guys made my birth-anniversary! I just want to thank both of you guys for dealing with my depressive episode in your own ways but I love you both so much! I can’t wait to spend another year as a Super-Senior college guy with you guys <3 (01.27.16)

[milo-chan]

Memory

I can’t remember anything that has just happened,

except for every dream which seemed just so real.

I felt nothing but numbness and death while I was awake.

It was as if I truly lived more when I was asleep.

[milo-chan]

People are slowly moving out of their parents’ house as an after-college gift, while I actually enjoy living in my parents’ house. Trying to pimp my room into a gamer’s haven.