millr

[millr]

A MESSAGE:  so, as many of you might've already gathered, i've decided to step away from the rpc as a whole for the foreseeable future. all i'm doing right now, is putting thought to paper and letting you all now that this is not a goodbye, but a see you later. this blog will stay up, and i will still occasionally swing by whenever the thought pops into my head, or if i ever feel like writing publicly again. tumblr just isn't awesome sauce at all, and hasn't been great, for what feels like a really long while. being away from here has greatly improved my mental health and i'm just not really feeling a grand return as of yet.

so for now-- consider this blog on a permanent hiatus. thank y'all so much for the patience!

on the same topic, and to piggyback off of everything, i will still be writing all of your favorite scrimblos on discord. or at least, attempting to! so, reach out to me if you're interested in keeping in contact that way! my ims on here will stay open to y'all, so feel free to ask me for my discord on there!

[millr]

semi-hiatus notice. guess this one’s been a long time coming, but better late than never, honestly. there’s no big explanation behind it, irl and stuff just caught up to me, really. so i’m gonna put these blogs on pause for the foreseeable future and come back fully when stuff settles down. there is a chance i’ll swing by occasionally to put some stuff in the queue, but take it with a grain of salt.

discord is, of course, available for any and all mutuals who wants to keep in touch! just shoot me an im! if you wanna scream about muses or just talk, i’m your guy. for now, see ya whenever! (🖒^_^)

[millr]

WHERE'S SAGE?

@abysel, multimuse. (you are here.)

@millr, joel miller of the last of us.

[millr]

I KILLED MY MOTHER (J'AI TUÉ MA MÈRE) 2009 dir. Xavier Dolan

[millr]

PEDRO PASCAL as JOEL MILLER ⌙ THE LAST OF US | 1.02 INFECTED

[millr]

seen it being talked about on the dash, but on the same note: i won't be following anymore ellie / tess writers. i greatly enjoy the dynamics i have with my current affiliates for those characters, so! not gonna follow any more of those portrayals.

[millr]

joel's big dumb puppy eyes when ellie shoves him like if you agree

[millr]

your missing, crooked heart, will ultimately be your downfall. the smuggler does not look up at her as he rummages through the contents of his backpack— only beginning to fit her with his gaze as he rises to his feet once more, towering over the younger one, handing ellie what seemed to be a hoodie, or an otherwise oversized sweater. there’s no levity in his tone, or his glance, as he calls back out to the other. [cargo. just cargo.] “no, smartass.” his voice is low, stern, scolding her as the piece of clothing is dropped into her arms. “we just got done wadin’ n’ ice-cold water, and you’re wearin’ ‘em little canvas shoes.” a reproach, or genuine concern? did they even teach these kids what gangrene was? you'd think they would at least mention it to them.

save who you can save. joel’s huff is guttural, fixing his bag back up on his shoulders. beneath the green and moldy texture of the curtains strapped and falling off the walls, the morning light is dense, and bright, peering through the gaps left by the decades of decay and rot that set in. “put that shirt on, n’ think about gettin' warm. i’ll look for it.”

@millr said: “remember what i told you?”

in this dark and dismal world, moments of vivacity are an anomaly. she'll take whatever she can get, though. (especially in their rarity throughout the darkness.) jeeringly bringing her hand up to her forehead, she salutes joel, her posture stiffening— a gesture learned from attending military school. “yes, captain, sir! i will remember what you told me, sir!” with an additional eye roll, she turns around, gaze reverting back to the shelves behind her— her mind clear on the objective at hand. “look for anything useful, meet back up in the middle of the store, and then we leave.” she repeats his previous words to prove her point, but she can't help but think— what a waste of time. if the grocery store would have anything useful after decades of abandonment, perhaps there was still hope out there yet. another glance over is taken, her concentration on overload as her brows furrow. teenage annoyance grows and grows, eventually exploding, as her thoughts become true.

“i still don't see any of the shit you've been talking about! it's all expired; dinosaur-age expired.”

[millr]

i want to make it obvious, and i will be making it blatant in my writing, but: the last of us was never joel's story, as much as it was ellie's.

[millr]

– from ‘Sylvia’s Death’ by Anne Sexton

[millr]

while i do understand the narrative that part two tried to spin us when it came down to joel’s storyline, and its eventual ending, i do not agree in the way it was portrayed. heavily.

joel miller is a man who is, by definition, shaped by the trauma he’s went through. by the atrocities he’s committed, and the inhumanity he’s experienced during his life. declawing him in between part one, and part two feels like a cop-out, and an easy explanation as to how abby’s team got so close, so quickly. a raison d'être, a “gotcha.” after all, how do you surprise the man who’s been behind the gun so many times? it’s easy, you soften him up for no reason other than if you squint real hard… you could imagine him being like that after x amount of years.

in my portrayal, joel was never too linked / associated with jackson as a community, mostly due to a feeling of inadequacy, a “never fitting in” that loomed over his head for the entire time he was there, starting from the very first second he’d stepped foot through the gates. and while he did have a residence there, it was mostly used and inhabited during the first few years after the ending of the first part. to check on ellie, make sure she was okay, and to, at the end of the day, keep an eye out for trouble. because at his core, joel’s trauma will never allow him to truly trust people. because he does not trust himself.

his encounter with abby still happens, but it’s by chance. he doesn’t just fall on the metaphorical lap of the wolves due to a lapse of judgement or “trusting too easily,” no: he’s ambushed by them, and taken out of this world in the same exact way, except tommy is not there when he’s caught, who warns ellie that joel’s been gone for too long and hasn’t said anything, which prompts a quick search, leading into the discovery of the massacre: from then on, the scene is the same.

[millr]

SAGE'S JOEL MILLER OF THE LAST OF US.

[millr]

rules;

extremely privatized and independent. i do not claim joel, nor the last of us as a franchise. the writing and the headcanons you will see on this blog are my own. [psd credit goes to psychehelic.]

activity will permanently be set to "here when i want to be." do not badger me for replies, be they ooc or ic. i am slow, but that does not mean i'm not excited to write with you.

my portrayal of joel is for the major part inspired by the games, and my own personal headcanons. while i do enjoy the show, its canon will be acknowledged when i deem fit.

don't forceship; and on the same tune, do not expect shipping to happen quickly. joel is an incredibly closed off man with nigh-insurmountable trust issues. that won't change.

dynamic reliant, and plotting oriented to a fault. i won't post starter calls, or reblog memes. these starters will have to be plotted, or at the very least, talked about.

affiliates; @ehllie, @yuanwang.

[millr]

PEDRO PASCAL as Joel Miller THE LAST OF US (2023-)