mikewardsblog

[mikewardsblog]

Chasing ghosts

[mikewardsblog]

I have had more than most get to experience in their life. I'm grateful for that.

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Dreams night after night.

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Today I failed.

Sleep, try again tomorrow.

[mikewardsblog]

America's next game show am I toxic or are you gaslighting me

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Interview at grace tomorrow

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For the last 3 years I've supported my family through music. It's all falling apart and I dont know if I should double down or give up.

[mikewardsblog]

How could you be so apologetic yet entitled?

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One year too late

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This is to heavy to carry on my own.

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Do I actually want the life i live? Or is it just the best I could do at the time?

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I have necessarily failed you, and stopped providing you the comfort which insulates you against the need for adventure.

I wish I could build you heaven and call it home, but heaven built by man is built upon poor souls that have been buryed. A home built by me would be a cage for you.

So as i rest my feet by this fire, and hands that were once warmed, I have retired them. So you can breathe your own air, and sleep more soundly.

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I'm having this problem where I can't tell if I'm dreaming or awake. Everything is so vivid and twisted. I talked to my therapist and they said its lack of sleep and stress, but I can't help but feel like it's more than that.

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Today is the day.

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Yo can we do the whole "oh my God my life is worthless" thing later? I got chicken nuggets to order

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Tough gig tonight. I let everyone down. Blew my voice out 3 songs in. Fucking spiral. I have so much pressure on me and feel like I'm cracking. Nights like tonight make me want to quit and pull a Cornell.

[mikewardsblog]

So much power in conversation