mike-the-nike

[mike-the-nike]

People, I am BEGGING you not to vote Trump. Please. (See?) Because if you do, guess what you’ll get out of it? A rich white trash man who’s likely not 100% mentally well. And I do not mean that lightly, either. If you think that a man who wants to kill, harm, and altogether starve of their rights anyone who is different than him is okay, then you need to revisit your morals. This is one of the worst cases of win-lose I’ve ever seen, with the only winning option being Joe Biden? No. Vote, please. Vote for Joe please. I’m voting for him instead of the third part I used to, because Trump is the worst president America has ever seen, and no doubt the suicide rates would go up once he’s elected. He plans to take away happiness, freedom, rights, and even the dignity of many, many people. But guess who won’t be effected? Rich white men with no disabilities, no color, no thoughts in their mind, and no life. Trump and his team (which I’ve taken the liberty of calling the Eggman Clan) want to literally strip people of their identities; especially by taking the rights of and to gender-affirmative surgeries, the right even to be in the closet with teachers now being required to oust children to their parents, even though he/she/they is/are in the closet for a REASON. Maybe they don’tWANT their parents knowing for fear of ABUSE or PERSECUTION or BULLYING or CONVERSION THERAPY.

Don’t vote Trump.

[mike-the-nike]

My gf and I just had a full-blown argument on weather this 🍒 was tits or balls and now I need to know.

I think it’s balls but she begs to differ…

[mike-the-nike]

One time I had to figure out if something would fit diagonally into a drawer and I almost used math haha

[mike-the-nike]

Ghost: I cut my finger Y/N: I can kiss it so it'll get better Ghost: That works? Y/N: Yeah my mum used to do it when I was little *later* Ghost: I need you to punch me in the mouth Roach: Fucking finally

[mike-the-nike]

The conversation I had this morning

Now I want weed tablets :/

[mike-the-nike]

My drawing of Lucifer from HH. This is the best imo, but I would like tips for making it better :) (specifically line art)

I’ll also be showing my other ones!

[mike-the-nike]

The one time I tried playing SIMS, I tried to cook toast, but it caught on fire, so the fire brigade came, which made me cry, so I never played it again.

This is a warning to all those who dare cook things in SIMS.

(P.S, I also couldn’t find a job.)

[mike-the-nike]

Reblog, creds to op.

[mike-the-nike]

Good evening, I can't stop thinking about Simon going brain dead as he fucks you :)

Like, just imagine. You're on your elbows and knees as Simon's hitting it from behind, when suddenly you feel something wet land on your back. You know it's not him finishing given the fact that he's still buried deep inside you, so you look back over your shoulder to see what the hell that was you just felt.

And when you turn around, the sight that greets you is one for the ages. There's Simon, eyes unfocused and glazed over, mouth hanging wide open in the most fucked-out expression you've ever witnessed. He looks like he's never had an intelligent thought in his life; like he's been reverted back to a primitive brain, whose only drives are to eat, breathe, and fuck.

As you watch him rut into you like a sex-crazed animal, it's then you spy the source of the mystery liquid dripping onto your back. There, dribbling steadily from Simon's ajar mouth, flows a thick stream of drool. It leads down from his bottom lip in long, viscous ribbons, landing and settling itself along the curve of your spine. If he even notices (which, by the look on his face, he's too far gone for such higher-order thinking processes) then he doesn't care. He just lets his spit pour freely from his open mouth, like some kind wild beast that's got its eyes locked onto its next meal.

Simon is so mentally checked out that he can't even hear you as you gently say his name. No, all he can think about – all his shriveled little monkey brain can focus on at this moment – is how fucking good you feel around him and how fucking badly he needs to fill you up.

When Simon does finally cum, he can only manage a garbled string of grunts and groans that doesn't even come close to resembling human speech. After three, four, five thrusts as deep into you as possible, his whole body is shaking, and his trembling limbs give out.

He collapses on top of you without a second's consideration of his size, pinning you to the mattress beneath his warm, heavy frame. You can still feel him drooling a little as his face comes to rest in the crook of your neck, the mess on your lower back getting smeared between your bodies.

It's hard for you to breathe being trapped under Simon's weight like that, so you try lightly tapping him on the head to ask him to roll off you. Unfortunately, I'm afraid it's no use trying to gain his attention right now. You're going to have to give him a few minutes to collect himself, love.

The poor guy just fucked himself stupid, after all.

[mike-the-nike]

Reblog, creds to OP

Hi omg, could I request for Konig x male!exoticdancer!reader (Idk if that's how you say it but ahh) Like Konig and Reader could be on a mission and Konig is part of the audience and is like- wow hidden talent >:) muhahaha. Reader has to dance on ropes or literally just anything! because their mission is to infiltrate the chambers of an elite member to retrieve his files safely. You can write this however you want, change it up, and do whatever because I know you'll write it best your way <3 Thank you so much.

Undercover with könig

18+

M4M

No, thank YOU, for requesting this, this is a great idea, and thank you for saying what you did, I’m always worried I’m not good enough at writing, but I’m happy some people find it good enough.Enough about my self doubt, I hope this story is to your liking, enjoy!!!

P.s. I hope you enjoy the few comedic lines/ elements, I always enjoy coming up with them

P.p.s. Feel free to make a request

When you were a kid, you always wanted to be a spy, or undercover cop, or just something of that nature. That’s what happens when you grow up on bond movies and tactical shooter games. So when you hit 18, you finally joined the military, thinking you could work your way up, get sent on special undercover missions, maybe even get a partner. 2 years later, you finally got there, everything you dreamed of but…. Not exactly with the suits and suppressed pistols, and the snarky German partner doesn’t help.

Reader-“do I really have to wear this?”

You say as you pick at the tight speedo that’s pushing your bulge almost back into you, it’s not comfortable

König-“yes, you’re posing as a dancer remember? And I don’t know if you’ve noticed the type of place we’re in, but they don’t exactly wear many clothes, hell I think you got lucky even getting that, though it doesn’t look like there’s much to show off”

He snickers as you look around at the other dancers, and he’s right, most of the women don’t have any tops, and almost all the men are just bare naked, meat and taters just out, you really did luck out.

König-“well get ready, you have to go out soon maus. And remember to show off. You have a target to seduce”

He gives you a firm spank as he walks out of the dressing room, laughing…prick.

Reader-“don’t call me that! It’s not my fault you’re a damn giant!”

You yell as he passes through the door.

How did you draw the short straw, you worked so hard to get here and your first mission is you dressing up like a damn slut. Well…you have always been a pretty feminine guy, but still, you wanted to be a spy, not a stripper. While you wallow im your life choices, you hear someone shout for you.

Voice-“new guy, you’re up”

You take a deep breath, dig the Speedo out of your crotch, and walk out onto the stage, it’s not huge, only big enough for a few people to dance, but it’s very high class, and more than enough people are sitting in the crowd watching you and the others. Some are just fawning over the others on the stage, some are even touching themselves, for such a high class establishment you’re surprised that’s allowed. You walk up to your pole and start dancing, more than that, you start absolutely killing it, twirling around the pole and shaking your hips and twerking to your hearts content, you got a bit carried away. Everyone in the crowd has there eyes on you, enthralled by what your doing, it’s honestly turning you on, making your dick harden in the speedo, making it poke out a bit. What you don’t know, is that könig is also in the crowd, and he’s very impressed with what he sees. He’s never seen anyone move like that, not one woman, and definitely not any men, even he’s turned on, rubbing himself through his pants. Soon your time on the stage is up, the embarrassment just now kind of hitting you as you shuffle off stage, still with a raging boner from all the eyes on you and the rush of the thing you were doing.

When you get back stage könig is waiting for you, with a smile on his face

König-“that was…really something else”

He snickers as he takes a few steps towards you. You try and push down the embarrassment and ignore your hardness as you choke out a few words.

Reader-“do-do you think the target noticed? Was that good enough?”

König chuckles

König-“sadly maus, the target wasn’t here today, he will be here tomorrow though”

Your mouth falls agape, you did all that and he wasn’t even here!

Reader-“what do you mean he wasn’t here? Our intel said he was supposed to be”

König-“yeah, but I asked around and was told he and his wife are having dinner today, I know, it’s Scheiße, but it was good practice no?”

You scoff, your target has a wife yet he rents out guys at a club, funny. Before you have time to respond könig grabs your bulge.

Reader-“w-what are you-“

König-“I saw you on stage, it seems you have some talents I didn’t know about. I saw that…how do you Americans say it…fat ass shaking, and Mein Gott, that was good, so I rented you out for a bit”

He says with a grin as he bites his lip. You can’t help but feel a bit flattered, I mean…your ass is fat, but it is a bit demeaning that he payed for you.

Reader-“you didn’t have to pay, we are still partners. Makes me feel like a slut”

König laughs

König-“well honestly maus, for the next little while, that’s exactly what I want you to be”

He pulls up a chair and sit down, legs spread. You bite your lip as you contemplate if you wanna do it…You do. You definitely do.

You start giving him the best lap dance of his life, you’re just an absolute natural at it. Your twerking, your grinding, you even feel up his cock through his pants a bit. He smacks your ass making it jiggle, with that he laughs and pulls his pants down, letting his throbbing cock spring out as he strokes it. You moan as he pulls it out, you immediately start grinding on it again, sandwiching it between your ass cheeks.

Reader-“you like it? My fat ass on your cock?”

You say confidently after seeing the look of euphoria on his face.

König-“fuck yes”

He growls out, clearly getting more and more horny as his precum starts to flow out. He grabs your speedo and tears it off you, then rubs his tip against your hole, making it slick with his juices.

Reader-“oh you really like it. Go ahead, fuck me”

With that he grunts and thrusts into you, making you yelp in pleasure as his cock buries itself deep in your guts, and his full balls slap your ass. Your own cock flops back and forth as he plows you as hard as he can, the room is filled with noises of pure euphoria and pleasure

*insert sloppy, raunchy gay sex sounds here*

Reader-“holy shit, your cock, it’s so fucking deep”

He smacks your ass again, making it jiggle as his cock goes in and out of you, your asshole clinging onto it every time, not ever wanting it to leave. His fingers dig into your hips as he drives himself in even harder, leaning over you in the process.

König-“I-I’m gonna cum”

He growls as he picks up his pace, hitting your prostate every time, causing your cum to leak out as well.

Reader-“cum, cum in me”

As if you just pressed a button, he slams his hips into yours one more time as you start to feel his seed filling you up, painting your insides, in this moment, you wish you could get pregnant. He falls back into the chair, with you on his lap, his cock still deep inside you.

König-“let’s just-let’s just sit here for a minute.”

Reader-“y-yeah, sure”

You say as you lean back into him, your head on his shoulder. You turn your head and kiss his cheek. He smiles a bit with his eyes closed as he catches his breath. Maybe this spy gig isn’t that bad

[mike-the-nike]

imagine ghost in a flimsy pink skirt w thigh highs hrhrgrhrmgm such a precious boy all for you to look and no other eyes to feast upon.. having your good boy sprawled out in bed, masturbating his cock as while the vibrator in him hums aggressively against his prostate,, spurts of cum oozing out of his angry red tip from the over stimulation.. heavy breathing and groans fills the room from ghost as his thighs clenches around your hips,, keeping you close to him while you tease your cock with your other hand in front of him... "fuck- please, please, please, please, I've been so good! need' you inside of me-" whimpering when you decided to finger his wet entrance, the lewd wet sounds made you hard as your fantisies began to grow.. such a wet boy all for you<3 nothing but putty in your hands..

[mike-the-nike]

*doing paperwork late at night*

Price: This is homophobic

Laswell: … we are three minutes into June and you’re already on your bullshit

Price, pointing at her: Homophobic

Laswell: I HAVE A WIFE JOHN

Price: DOES SHE KNOW SHE MARRIED A HOMOPHOBE?

Ghost, sitting in the corner: I want to go to bed

[mike-the-nike]

Nik: You know, when I met the captain, he looked like a prince.

Laswell: *snort* Through your blood-loss and mild concussion?

Nik: Well yes. Not a Disney prince. Like an actual European prince.

Laswell: Slight inbreeding included?

Nik, grinning: Hush, Katya, you are so mean. No, I was simply pointing out that somehow he ended up from prince to grouchy fisherman in 10 years.

Laswell: It happens in our line of work.

Nik: Somehow, it's a vast improvement.

Laswell: Well, that's just you being in love with him.

[mike-the-nike]

Credit to og :)

Makarov: I’m sure you’re wondering why I have gathered you here today-

Price, tied to a chair: You kidnapped us

Makarov: John, not now. I have a surprise for all of you-

Price: Is it your surrender and a million dollars?

Makarov: John, I have a speech planned-

Price: Aw, did you practice in the mirror? I’m sorry, you must be so nervous-

Makarov: That’s it! Mood’s ruined! Thanks, John! My mood has soured, you ruined the mood!

Soap: Wow, Cap has attitude

Ghost: I have never been more proud to have him as my captain

Gaz, muttering: I see the family resemblance