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Kyle: *boop* Hi I'm your husband

Stan : My husband?

Kyle: Yes. And if you want me to stay your husband, you'll learn about dishwashers

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the stankyle paradox: they are super casually touchy with each other to the point when they can basically hug on the couch for hours while watching a movie and barely notice they’re doing it, but when they see their fingers brushing everything inside them starts burning and each can’t stop thinking about it for like the next 3 hours

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they abandoned it for a reason.

I have this recurring dream where I'm in a bathroom or locker room with a nonsensical layout and dark, green tiles. There's not blood or a figure, just this idea that I need to leave now or I might never leave at all. There are no posters, no personal belongings, nothing but smooth tile and a horrible sense of dread. The corners are dark. Something is on its way.

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An honest reaction. I'm pretty sure if any of us got put in that situation, we would do the same 😆

Everyone always says that Cartman is the most mental of them all but when Kyle was voted ugliest boy in the list episode he literally went to BURN DOWN THE SCHOOL

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Thank god we live in this quiet mountain town

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Different Kyle Jobs

Chemist Kyle

develops anti-depressants

paranoid about chemicals in food, so he’s really into “clean eating” but is actually malnourished

conspiratorialist, secretly has some doubts about 9/11

in denial that he has a serious anxiety problem

doesn’t get invited to parties

Engineer Kyle

software engineer for Cisco

big fuckin nerd, spends all his free time gaming

constantly bitching on DataLounge

nostalgic about Windows XP

obviously single

Architect Kyle

was inspired by Mr. Brady

designed his own home and is extremely smug about it

great posture

once made a coworker cry

Sexologist Kyle (i.e., Handle)

doing research on the male orgasm

takes criticisms of Freud personally

has been described as “spritely”

looks fantastic in a brown suit

Philosophy Professor Kyle

wrote a book on Hegelian Metaphysics

into Art Nouveau

has an terrible rating on ratemyprofessor.com

absolutely despises the fun young assistant prof in his department who all the students love

Accountant Kyle

works for a security company

left-handed

drinks diet soda

one of those weirdos who likes winter

probably depressed

Pianist Kyle

believes all other instruments are inferior

has been called a drama queen by five different people

gives his cat birthday parties

looking for his George Sand

High School Math Teacher Kyle

assigns homework during the holidays

gets excited about Rolle’s theorem

writes Brokeback Mountain fanfiction

a student once caught him crying in his room during lunch break over a caricature a kid drew of him

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style at their 18's ☕

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i think they should have a bake off (feixiao and phainon judge)

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If you are a mentally ill person who struggles with violent urges, impulse control, disassociation, anger control, psychosis, or other stigmatized and demonized conditions you are so fucking important and you matter and your needs matter and you deserve better

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If you are a mentally ill person who struggles with violent urges, impulse control, disassociation, anger control, psychosis, or other stigmatized and demonized conditions you are so fucking important and you matter and your needs matter and you deserve better

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for ria ꒰ᴒ̴̶̷̤᷇ .̫ ᴒ̴̶̷̤᷆♡

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for ria ꒰ᴒ̴̶̷̤᷇ .̫ ᴒ̴̶̷̤᷆♡

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stan marsh: I'm not in love. stan marsh: *gazes lovingly at kyle broflovski all day*

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kyle broflovski: I know you want to keep me safe, but the only way to do that is to wrap me in bubble wrap and hide me in a cave. stan marsh: Believe me, I've thought about it.

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stan marsh: Where’s Kyle? eric cartman: He’s not here. stan marsh: Well, how can I find him? eric cartman: You could become a terrible event and happen to him.

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stan marsh: [leans in very close] Are you busy on Saturday? kyle broflovski: You - you want me to come with you to awkward class?