middayreads-blog

[middayreads-blog]

Mixtapes

I tap my fingers at my classroom desk, trying to tick off time as our professor talks about microbes like archaea, algae, protozoa and many more I have no interest about. I already know what those are, to begin with. So, I must deal with the boredom of letting this professor lecture us. Of course, out of respect too.

I am Liam, a 20-year-old BS Biology student. Not to brag but I am a prodigy… that is what my mom says all the time. But, you know, I think, maybe not. I am not a prodigy. I only have Highly Superior Autobiographical Memory, a neurological disorder which leads people to be able to remember much more than the average person. Individuals with HSAM have a superior ability to recall specific details of autobiographical events, tend to spend a large amount of time thinking about their past and have a detailed understanding of the calendar and its patterns. Oh god, even explaining it is already exhausting.

I don’t like having one, truth be told. I don’t need this if having it means feeling like an outcast.

Having this illness means remembering even the tiniest details from several years ago. If someone would mention an event from my childhood, I’d casually say, ‘Oh that was Monday, 18th of July, and I was wearing a red shirt and corduroy pants.’

That’s how it works.

And it’s fucking draining.

People say it’s a gift. Of course, they’d say that. They aren’t even the ones dealing with this shit.

People tend to think I don’t have anything missing inside of me because they all assume that I am the whole goddamn puzzle per se. A perfect man who has a perfect memory. Wrong. At some point, right. I used to think highly of myself. I was always one step ahead of everybody. I liked that. I mean, who wouldn’t? But not anymore. I am done with that phase.

I hardly understand the question when my professor calls me out, “Earth to Mr. Alonzo.” He says firmly.

“I’m sorry, what?” I ask. My stomach churns.

“Why do you think bacterial endospores are a problem in the hospital environment?”

I sigh before I answer, “Because they are highly resistant bacteria. Endospores can cause illness in those with already compromised immune systems in the hospital.”

“Right… But, Mr. Alonzo, can we focus here, please? You have a gift, we know, but can you still please listen?” He says with a sympathetic smile, looking at me for a couple of seconds before breaking away.

I hear from a distance, “Of course, he knows the answer. Mister-know-it-all.”

And on my right, “Ha, if he thinks he’s a genius, he doesn’t need to rub it in our faces. He could at least pretend he’s not dying from boredom. Not everyone is as blessed as he is.”

I try so hard not to scratch my head. My knuckles turn white as I hold my pen a whole lot tighter this time. I’m worried it might snap in two.

If my mom didn’t raise me right, I might actually beat the fuck out of these withering brain humans.

I massage my temple, desperately trying to ease my throbbing headache. If I didn’t know better, I’m already slashing out this building, having a good time with her.

Mia. I miss her terribly. Our second anniversary is today and I can’t wait to finally see her.

3:31pm, September 24, 2016, it was after my classes and I was wearing my PE uniform along with my beat-up converse. I took a glance on my wristwatch and realized I was an hour early for our date. This is it, I’m going to ask her. That was the only thought that kept bombarding my mind.

We were dating for 8 months already. I knew I was the one who made a deal for us to keep everything unofficial and lowkey until our graduation day; to focus on our study first. But I couldn’t resist it anymore. Combination of worry and regret were about to eat me alive if I still wouldn’t ask her to be mine. I couldn’t let her slip away from my hands.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called her,

“Hi?” I asked, it came out like a question. I was terribly nervous; I began to gnaw the inside of my cheeks.

“Hey, weirdo.” She said. I could hear the smile in her voice.

“I’m here at the gazebo. I’m… uh… sorry… Haha.” What the fuck, Liam?

“You, okay?” she asked.

“Ah, no, yes. I’m okay. I’m just gonna wait for you here.”

“You’re way too early. Do you want me to ditch this class? I could. Just say so.” She said.

“No! I’m okay, Mia. No need to rush. I’m willing to wait. I’m just the one who’s really excited for this… to see you, I mean.” I hoped to God she didn’t sense my plan behind my words.

“Oh, okay. See you later, then?”

“Can’t wait.” I said then dropped the call.

I inhaled sharply and practiced my line repeatedly in my head: Can you be mine? I scratched my scalp so badly. I found the question so cheesy, I couldn’t. 

But it was not like she was going to reject me. I knew she loved me, I was confident enough to know that. It’s just that, I was pretty nervous of what would be the outcome of my sappy little speech. 

                                                  **********

“Are you kidding me?!” she blurted out.

“Apparently not.” I smiled sheepishly. I could feel the blood running up to my face. 

“I thought you wanted us to be lowkey?” 

“Screw it.” was the only thing I said. 

She threw hear head and cracked out a good loud laugh. 

“You are so adorable, you know that?” she said looking in my eyes. No. She was looking through my eyes. She had this way of looking into me that felt like crushing my soul in a good habit-forming way. 

“Hmm... Is that a yes?” I asked.

“Well then,” she cupped my face with her hands and kissed my forehead, “screw it, indeed.”

I hugged her tight I thought I was going to break her bones, but she didn’t complain, she just hugged me back and kissed my lips long enough for the tears to came out of my eyes.

I snap back to reality when I hear the bell.

“Man, where are you up to? Denver’s at 6? He’s holding up a party.” says Wes.

“Nah, man. I’m off to visit Mia.” I know by saying her name, Wes will drop the topic.

“Oh, sure, man. Maybe next time then.” he says then offers a fist bump.

I smile to myself knowing I can easily escape errands when I say Mia’s name. She’s the magic word.

I walk and run my way to my car, excited to see her again after how many days. As I get inside my camaro, I reach for the mixtape she made me when we were still dating. I will never forget how many sleepless nights she endured just so she could juggle between reviewing for her exams and making these mixtapes for me. 

For Emma by Bon Iver plays, and it greatly reminds me of her.

“Mom will be psyched!” she said looking at our intertwined hands, grinning.

“I know. She loves me.” I said and he slapped my shoulders lightly.

“I can’t wait to go home and tell everyone that my best friend is now my boyfriend. Damn, that sounds cliche, isn’t it?” 

I laughed, “Know what? I don’t care. If only I could shout and let the whole world know that you’re already mine, I would.”

“Huh, really? Then do it.” she said, challenging me.

I lift my chin and began shouting but her hands covered my mouth just in time. 

We were giggling too much, kissing and staring at each other a lot. I never wanted the day to end. I never wanted to let go of her warm, soft hands.

The 12th song comes in-- The Wisp Sings by Winter Aid-- the moment I stop the car in front of her home.

I am now here. 

I am finally seeing her. 

The only face I need to see, to feel, to savor. 

I don’t stop, I don’t knock. 

I just continue walking until I close the proximity between us. 

She’s there.

Peacefully sleeping. 

Possibly dreaming.

I sit beside her and put the fresh flowers in exchange of the withered ones.

“How are you, my love?” I ask, hugging my knees, “I miss you terribly. Everyday. Not a single day I have not thought of you. Please come back home.”

I brush my fingers on her name on the tombstone, hoping she can feel the needing and longing I have. Her name is getting old on the marble, fading away like she was beneath the ground long ago. 

Anger and melancholy are like fists punching my chest repeatedly while I am imprisoned by darkness. I am darkness, she is light. She’s gone, so what am I now? 

“How did this happen? I was just... We were just... Oh god!” I exclaimed as I was holding Mia’s bruised hands. 

“It was so quick, Liam. It was so--” Mia’s mom voice cracked before she could even finish the sentence. Her words turned into a muffle of sobs.

I want to know what happened but everyone was so devastated they didn’t know how to explain details to me.

I took a glance at Mia. Still alive but barely. I could see her chest slowly rising and falling while her eyes were closed firmly. Wires were connected to her body. The drips from the IV seemed to drop down so quickly. All the background noise vanished, all I could hear were the beeping of the monitors.

She was brain dead.

One click from her life-support and it would be her end. One pull of wire would be her death.

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” the doctor said sympathetically, “you understand that Mia is brain dead now and she’s only breathing because of the life support connected to her. You need to decide. We will give you the time in the world, no need to rush.” 

I hated it. I hated it when doctors do that. Their voices were so sympathetic but calm at the same time. Like they understand what you are going through but you can still hear the formality on the way they speak. Like everything’s already rehearsed. They say they’re sorry but it’s all just an act they do repeatedly in time with their other unfortunate patients.

Mia’s dad held her wife, he was trying so hard not to stifle a cry. Acting all strong despite the heartbreak and loss. While here I was at the corner of this goddamn hospital room, afraid to went near her, because even if I was seeing the beating of her chest, I knew was no longer here, she was gone from our lives already. So near, yet so far.

                                                *****************

Not long enough, her family decided to donate her good organs- those that didn’t suffer from internal bleeding or were wrecked by the incident. From eyes to lungs to liver, it was all donated. It was Mia’s will, so they respected it. 

It took the authority 2 weeks before they caught the driver who hit her. It was an accident, the road was slippery, she happened to be at the exact place where the bus crashed. A couple of people died, a lot suffered from concussion, Mia was just one of the many.

It still felt like a weird bizarre dream. Like what had happened was just a mistake. A big fat joke under clouds of nightmares.

Maybe she didn’t really want to leave me, she were just hapless.

I let out a silent prayer. 

Mia, 

I will always remember every bits of the day you said yes to me-- the clothes you were wearing, the shade of the blush on you had on her face, the style of your hair, your perfume, the way you looked at me, your big warm smile, your too tight hug... everything. And for the first time in my life, I thought I would be thankful for the gift of never forgetting. Because I would never want to forget that moment. 

But now, these memories are all I have. Painful, harsh and impossible to forget.

I’m sorry, my love, but I need to go. I love you with all of my heart and I’m sorry that what we once had happened in just a short span of time. But please know that  despite that, I cherished every second of it. You leave parts of you in everything I do and I will always going to be thankful.

I miss you. Every waking day, every sleeping night. You used to be the reason why sunsets were beautiful and why rains were bearable. You used to be the most explicit thing in this befallen world of mine. You gave me happiness I never thought a single human could possibly give. You sparked joy in me.

I’m sorry but I need to keep walking.

Good night, my love. 

Sleep tight.

I finally get up and walked away from her, because that’s what I need to do. I need to leave her or else I’m going to be one who will get stuck in the past. I need to let go of the memories, little by little.

I shoot my keys and start my car. Two by Sleeping At Last instantly plays.

Funny how sometimes we would measure the length of our ride by songs- how many artists would sing if we take this road or the shorter route. Now, no matter how many songs I play, I know Mia’s not coming back. But I gotta do it. Whatever it takes, I need to keep living. I want to be with her, but first, I need to keep playing the songs.

                                                       EPILOGUE:

“Breathe in, breathe out.” I say to the lady in front of me, as I listen to the beat of her heart through my stethoscope.

“Is it normal, doc? I’ve been stressing out lately and I think it isn’t doing any good to my heart.” she says.

“Of course, stress is one of the major contributing factors that causes a healthy body to falters. So, I advice you to take it slow and relax, okay? Especially in your case. You’ve had cardiac transplant. You need to take care of that.” I explained.

“Yes, I need to take care of this. Or Mia will be pissed.”

“Who?” it comes out as a surprise.

The lady looks at me and say, “My heart donor.”

[middayreads-blog]

So long, 2018.

What’s a nicer way than spending the last few hours of 2018 in front of the internet, typing your thoughts and just being all out about your feelings before the year ends?

My 2018 started off patchy. It wasn’t easy. I’ve had a lot of breakdowns and there were lots of anger and angst involved. I’ve had people who left and people who still chose to stay—it wasn’t a shocker, though. People who leave is old news. I think at this age, I am more than aware who my constants are. And I am sure as hell gonna do everything in my power to keep them tucked in my pocket of life.

Going back, this year was tough. I have made a lot of mistakes and have learned a lot of lessons which contributed immensely to the person that I am still growing into. The rough paths, the dim roads, the foggy future, the uncertainty; I am humbled by my experiences.

I am still scared of diving blindly into a new year with lots of reservations and hesitations but, oh well, that’s just how life works. Everything is unsure unless you see for yourself.

I would just like to express how grateful I am for those people who stay—my friends. It wasn’t easy being with someone who constantly doubts herself. I know there were a lot of times where you all just wanted to give up on me. Hell, I know so well that I exasperated you with my self-pity and loathing but, still, you guys chose to stay. I am nothing but grateful for the love and support you have for me. Please know that I am still learning and I won’t stop until I become the person who is strong enough to stand on her own. That even with fear, I am still able to withstand the struggles. I know I am still far from being that kind of individual, but I assure you that I am trying and I am determined to be one.

I am also grateful for my family who has been my constant since day 1. The backbone I needed when I was miserably lost in life. I want to thank them for pledging me that life gets better even when I know that they, too, are uncertain that it really will.

To all the wonderful people that I have met this year, thank you! You did an amazing job at making my 2018 interesting and somewhat exciting. It was all joy having the privilege to have known such a diverse set of people with the same goal in their hearts: to care.

There is always something about ending a year that makes me emotional. It may have been because of the fact that I could reflect. I want to apologize to the people I have hurt; may it be intentional or not. I am sorry for my wrongdoings- I know sorry isn’t enough but it can be the start.

I would also like to forgive those who have pained me. As the quote from one of my favorite books once said, “The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.” and I strongly think that forgiveness is the most valuable gift you could ever give someone.

Again, happy new year everyone! Yes, it’s just another day to repeat the ‘new year, new me’ bullshit, another excuse to greet people you have forgotten years ago. Yet, this is, too, another reason to be a little kinder to people.

HAPPY 2019!!!

[middayreads-blog]

Furyborn by Claire Legrand

synopsis:

Follows two fiercely independent young women, centuries apart, who hold the power to save their world...or doom it. When assassins ambush her best friend, the crown prince, Rielle Dardenne risks everything to save him, exposing her ability to perform all seven kinds of elemental magic. The only people who should possess this extraordinary power are a pair of prophesied queens: a queen of light and salvation and a queen of blood and destruction. To prove she is the Sun Queen, Rielle must endure seven trials to test her magic. If she fails, she will be executed...unless the trials kill her first. A thousand years later, the legend of Queen Rielle is a mere fairy tale to bounty hunter Eliana Ferracora. When the Undying Empire conquered her kingdom, she embraced violence to keep her family alive. Now, she believes herself untouchable--until her mother vanishes without a trace, along with countless other women in their city. To find her, Eliana joins a rebel captain on a dangerous mission and discovers that the evil at the heart of the empire is more terrible than she ever imagined. As Rielle and Eliana fight in a cosmic war that spans millennia, their stories intersect, and the shocking connections between them ultimately determine the fate of their world--and of each other.

review: 

oh my jesus fucking christ’s sake. this book!!! I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO FORMULATE HOW DISAPPOINTED I WAS WITH THIS NOVEL *insert inappropriate words for minors here*

to begin with, it isn’t a bad book, don’t get me wrong, ok? i love the story, the plot, the fantasy, the action, basically everything except the ~writing~ (!!!)

jesus holy hell. no. not the writing itself, but the time frame! so basically, the writing, too. lol i don’t even know anymore. this book confuses me a lot.

it was so confusing i could no longer count how many times i dumped it for other books. i was like: OMG WHAT IS THIS LET ME DUMP YOU FOR A LITTLE WHILE SO I COULD SOMEHOW FINISH MY TBR, because this is one hell of a pain in the ass

so here’s the tip, if you’re going to read this be sure that:

1. you’ve got a lot of spare time 2. you have a looooooong patience 3. you have tons of focus

we have two POVs in here, RIELLE and ELIANA

RIELLE is dead- it is stated at the prologue of the novel. but the author had this way of captivating us to still be interested at the story of a dead blood queen. and i loved that. i loved how despite that i already know that this character is already deceased, i still wanted to become invested in her story.

ELIANA is a bitch. hahahahahahaha that’s all i could muster??? all she ever do is whine and self-pity and be a freaking treason to the crown hollow. i mean i want to like her but it’s hard to like a character that is pretty quite annoying 99% of the time

RIELLE and ELIANA lived/lives in different era. the former queen is in the 1st age while the latter is in the 2nd age. it looks simple, right? actually, it is. reading two povs set in different timeline isn’t that hard to comprehend but the author’s chapter sequence in this book is so dragging my gosh 

when i was reading rielle’s chapter and everything was so intense and i was already hyping up, what irked me the most was knowing that the said chapter would end in a cliffhanger, then it would shift into ELIANA’s chapter after. and vice versa. ISNT THAT ANNOYING???? LIKE IM ALREADY HYPED UP BRUH WHY YOU TRYNA END EVERYTHING IN A CLIFFHANGER??? 

so basically that’s my major concern throughout the whole book IT WAS DRAGGING AND ANNOYING AND MIND BUGGING

aside from that, well, i really admire the totality of story. the plot is powerful and the characters are really interesting. if i was the author and i’ve had my way, i would divide this book in two parts, with proper chapter sequences and stronger world building ;)

furyborn is the first book to the empirium series and hmmm i think i’d still read the next installment. why not give this book a chance, righhhtttt

rating: 3/5 stars

[middayreads-blog]

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

sypnopsis:

The hero-narrator of The Catcher in the Rye is an ancient child of sixteen, a native New Yorker named Holden Caulfield. Through circumstances that tend to preclude adult, secondhand description, he leaves his prep school in Pennsylvania and goes underground in New York City for three days. The boy himself is at once too simple and too complex for us to make any final comment about him or his story. Perhaps the safest thing we can say about Holden is that he was born in the world not just strongly attracted to beauty but, almost, hopelessly impaled on it. There are many voices in this novel: children's voices, adult voices, underground voices-but Holden's voice is the most eloquent of all. Transcending his own vernacular, yet remaining marvelously faithful to it, he issues a perfectly articulated cry of mixed pain and pleasure. However, like most lovers and clowns and poets of the higher orders, he keeps most of the pain to, and for, himself. The pleasure he gives away, or sets aside, with all his heart. It is there for the reader who can handle it to keep.

review: 

wow. what a read.

confession time: i have read this book way back when i was like 2nd year highschool and to be honest i didn't really let myself digest it further. i just skimmed it like an idiot.

during that age-- come on let's be honest here-- i was merely invested into contemporary novels in which the characters are both hopeless romantics phew i feel like im gonna vomit any time soon i wasn't YET really into books that tackle the depth of life and such, hence, the skimming stuff. ok i know you get me so there's no point at putting it into words anymore cos i might sound like a defensive brat

well, well, the catcher in rye-- i liked it. a lot. and when i say a lot, i mean it hit me really hard straight in the gut. reading a book is sweeter the second time around, indeed

holden caulfied is a peculiar lead character. i like the way he thinks because i love intelligent people not only in terms of academic but also in the life aspect. well, holden doesn't excel in his curriculum, he even got kicked out because all of his grades were axes. but when it comes to life, he's pretty smart and scheming.

he is kinda relatable as well. existential crisis is one of the predicaments teenagers experience nowadays. the perpetual feeling of being lost and of feeling like everything you do is and will never be right; the depressing voices that tell you 'oh cmon, bastard, you're gonna die and no one's gonna remember you because you didn't even contribute something worth remembering in this world" FUCKING RELATABLE RIGHT? you question yourself everyday if your life's even worth it or are you even worth someone else's time. so there hahaha

this book is really depressing but also hilarious at the same time. i had many moments where i was just genuinely laughing out loud at holden. he is golden!

i have learned a lot of things in this book and i will never understand people who dislike it???? i mean, this is one of the truest stories i've ever read. the way the author wrote this novel-- it was like his words were speaking to you; it was like holden was talking to you. the bland honesty of j.d salinger was not even offensive, it's something you can empathize with

rating: 4/5 stars

[middayreads-blog]

Cassian: Are you busy?

Feyre: Yes.

Cassian: Cool listen to this.

[middayreads-blog]

After Midnight by Rainbow Rowell

hahahaha okay so im laughing at myself for only reading this now. i felt like i was missing a lot about what's legit happening to the bookworm world. holy hell, why??? why am i always late to the party. i cannot???

almost midnight is a novel with two festive stories inside, the first one is midnights and second is kindred spirites. let's chop chop! (...or put the synopsis lol)

snyposis:

Midnights is the story of Noel and Mags, who meet at the same New Year's Eve party every year and fall a little more in love each time . . .

Kindred Spirits is about Elena, who decides to queue to see the new Star Wars movie and meets Gabe, a fellow fan.

Midnights was previously published as part of the My True Love Gave to Me anthology, edited by Stephanie Perkins and Kindred Spirits was previously published as a World Book Day title.

review:

if you're going to ask me what's my favorite between the two stories then you're a fucking evil. one does not simply choose between the two. both are good stories and i loved it. so shut up and let me discuss why

!!! SPOILERS AHEAD SPOILERS AHEAD !!!

midnights:

i love noel and mags' story so much gaaahh this story is one of those that will make your heart so happy you wouldn't even notice how much you're smiling as you're reading it. it wasn't a complicated read. it's so light that i was actually wanting more when i got to the ending

the story is set every before new year where noel kisses different people every year at alicia's basement party. mags is always there with him watching him as he rises his eyebrows to a certain person that will eventually lead to them kissing while mags gawks at them.

but mags already had enough when they both went to college and communication was hardly enough anymore. she realized that she loves noel and she wouldn't want him to kiss any other person anymore

when it was that time of the year again at alicia's basement, mags went outside the house because she wanted for noel to find her and kiss her. well, (omg im swooning as im writing this hahaha) apparently, it went well. they've confessed their feelings for each other with a kiss

so basically this story is about bestfriends turn into lovers and i know most people are kinda annoyed with this kind of trope but i swear to god rainbow rowell's depiction towards this is indeed impeccable! i would certainly re-read it again

kindred spirits:

when i've read about this and the word star wars appeared, i actually knew that this would be an awesome read

elena is a star wars geek. she's a member of the club where the people in it have this tradition wherein they fall in line for like a week until the showing of any star wars films comes. in their case, it's the force awakens.

when she came into the cinema she didn't expect that there would only be three people on queue-- troy and gabe. she was expecting more people.

troy is this old man with long beard and also a die hard star wars fan who haven't missed their tradition even for once. he even fell in line with his costumes on, he once said.

gabe, is a nerd and is also invested with star wars as much as elena does.

eventually, the three of them bonded on the line even if it wasn't easy with the socially awkward gabe.

at the end of the week(?) im not so sure anymore lol elena learned that gabe was apparently her classmate for four years, but since gabe was a nerd head and he often just remained silent at the back of the classroom, elena didn't notice it

when it was already the showing of the force awakens, they both fell asleep while the film was rolling, which was really cute I WAS SCREAMING!!!

at the end, they've both decided to watch the film again, together. WAAAAAAAHHH IM IN TEARS IT'S REALLY CUTE :((( are they already dating? or what? who knows.. i love the idea that rainbow ended it that way. it wasn't exactly a cliffhanger but wasn't a 'real' ending as well. rainbow gave us the chance to decide for ourselves on what will their ending be

i loved this book with all my heart and i closed it with a smile plastered on my face. this is already filed under my list of “will re-read every time im sad” novels

rating: 5/5 stars

[middayreads-blog]

Shimmer and Burn by Mary Taranta

synopsis:

To save her sister’s life, Faris must smuggle magic into a plague-ridden neighboring kingdom in this exciting and dangerous start to a brand-new fantasy duology. Faris grew up fighting to survive in the slums of Brindaigel while caring for her sister, Cadence. But when Cadence is caught trying to flee the kingdom and is sold into slavery, Faris reluctantly agrees to a lucrative scheme to buy her back, inadvertently binding herself to the power-hungry Princess Bryn, who wants to steal her father’s throne. Now Faris must smuggle stolen magic into neighboring Avinea to incite its prince to alliance—magic that addicts in the war-torn country can sense in her blood and can steal with a touch. She and Bryn turn to a handsome traveling magician, North, who offers protection from Avinea’s many dangers, but he cannot save Faris from Bryn’s cruelty as she leverages Cadence’s freedom to force Faris to do anything—or kill anyone—she asks. Yet Faris is as fierce as Bryn, and even as she finds herself falling for North, she develops schemes of her own. With the fate of kingdoms at stake, Faris, Bryn, and North maneuver through a dangerous game of magical and political machinations, where lives can be destroyed—or saved—with only a touch. 

review:

my dear friends, welcome to my funeral. i think i just died from reading this amazeballs book. yes, i used to the word amazeballs. welcome back to 2010.

okay, so shimmer and burn. wow. of smuggled magic, dirty politcs and a handsome magician lol what could go wrong

note: yep, so i've decided to ditch the proper punctuations and capitalization because nobody prioritizes that when they're about to combust from too much feels from a book (!!!)

going back, man, im actually suprised that not many people have been talking about this book. the magic system, in this world, is something that i've never seen before. it is something unique and dark, and all the fantasy aspects in this book just perfectly combined altogether, i couldn't ask for more

i love faris, i think she's an incredible protagonist. i love the fact that she's willing to do anything to save her sister's life. her past life made her smart, tough and independent. i was actually rooting for her and i even secretly wished for her to be the queen of avinea.

bryn, on the other hand, the princess of brindaigel, is so realistic! finally, a princess who doesn't know what she's doing. she's smart but despite that she's still unsure about a lot of things. all she cares about is being a queen and snatching the throne from his father- perotte.

alistair, oh gosh am i the only one who wants to see more of him??? like, his appearances in the book wasn't enough to suffice my curiosity about his character. also, his confidence blew me the fuck away!!! i love him

and north, holy shit, what a fine man he is. when he and faris first met, i was actually expecting for an insta-love to quite happen *cue eyes rolling* but then i was shocked because his treatment between faris and bryn was unbelievably balance. i wanna give him a standing ovation, tbh

the cliffhanger ending made me scream and squeal and punch my pillow and im not even exaggerating those. i was actually dumbfounded when i reached the ending, knowing that the sequel to it will be released by november??? how the fuck am i suppose to wait that long?? IM DEAD

over all, shimmer and burn is such an amazing fantasy book with great characters and awesome world building! i would recommend this to readers who are looking for a unique, mind blowing novel. and if you want to experience the same thing i dealt with, then go ahead. the floor is goddamn yours

im so excited to read the next book (splendor and spark) and i can't wait to see what happens next! *hibernates until november comes*

rating: 4/5 stars i had some minor issues with some parts because they were confusing as hell and i couldn't catch up with some of the plot twist but i dont care lol it's a beautiful book FIGHT ME

[middayreads-blog]

Always Never Yours by Emily Wibberley

Synopsis:

Megan Harper is the girl before. All her exes find their one true love right after dating her. It’s not a curse or anything, it’s just the way things are, and Megan refuses to waste time feeling sorry for herself. Instead, she focuses on pursuing her next fling, directing theatre, and fulfilling her dream school’s acting requirement in the smallest role possible.  But her plans quickly crumble when she’s cast as none other than Juliet–yes, that Juliet–in her high school’s production. It’s a nightmare. No–a disaster. Megan’s not an actress and she’s certainly not a Juliet. Then she meets Owen Okita, an aspiring playwright who agrees to help Megan catch the eye of a sexy stagehand in exchange for help writing his new script.  Between rehearsals and contending with her divided family, Megan begins to notice Owen–thoughtful, unconventional, and utterly unlike her exes, and wonders: shouldn’t a girl get to play the lead in her own love story?

Review:

Basically, Always Never Yours is a cute-fun read about a girl who thinks that she is Romeo’s Rosaline (if you don’t know who they are then we can’t be friends?).

I did enjoy this book! Really. I just had a few scenes that for me were really problematic. Megan’s expressions every time she sees the boy she really likes are cringe-worthy for me. I had so many ‘what the fuck, Megan!’ moments. I seriously wanted to shake her so bad just so she could wake up from her own delusions. Hahahaha. Welp, that was funny.

Geez, I know, she gives decent and such really good advices for her heartbroken friends, but the thing is, she doesn’t follow her own advices and that made everything so frustrating.

She has no shame at being a boy-crazy human and she is even proud of it which is, yeah, cool. You should be proud of you are. But, maaaaaaan, never undervalue yourself for other people. That sucks.

I loved Owen! Jesus mother-freaking Christ. Can I have my own Owen? I mean, he is so gorgeous in every way—the way he thinks, his wit, his words. I was absolutely blown off by how perfect he is. I was swooning.

Anyway, I don’t want to spoil, so I’m going to keep this short.

If you want to read a novel that has a fluffy romance in it, and has many Juliet and Romeo reference, then you should definitely check this book out!

Rating: 3/5 stars

[middayreads-blog]

The Hazel Wood by Melissa Albert

I wanna try something new so let’s do this review in bullet format.

- The beginning was slow paced. I was a bit struggling because it was boring me out at some point.

- Alice’s character is not solid enough for me. I didn’t feel any connection towards her.

- Her relationship with Finch was too good to be true that I already predicted that something was up with that boy. Ha.

- I liked Ella.

- I was already at the middle part of the book but, still, nothing was happening. I was THIS close to DNF-ing it. My gosh.

- Hinterland is cool. I don’t know why they’re afraid with it. Lol.

- The plot is creepy. I didn’t wanna sleep with the lights off after reading it. (But I liked it. I like creepy/bloody/gory reads and I cannot lie!)

- The fairy tales mentioned in the book-- made by Althea-- literally made me squealed. My personal faves were Twice-Killed-Katherine and Alice-Three-Times. They were creepy enough to make me hide under my comforter. Hahahaha. 

- The Hazel Wood wasn’t bad but wasn’t exactly good either. It was an okay read for readers who love mystery and fairy tales combined.

- Just found out that this is a trilogy.

- I’m not sure if I’m still gonna read the next installment(s).

- Rarting: 3/5 stars

[middayreads-blog]

To Kill A Kingdom by Alexandra Christo

Because of this book, I wanted to become a siren so bad. Not just a siren, but a Sea Queen.

All my life, I have this fascination of wanting to become a mermaid. I grew up loving little mermaid and the sea so bad. I could still vividly remember when I was a little potato, I had this little mermaid puzzle that I used to bring everywhere I go. My mom used to put it in my bag because that was the only thing that could totally ease my boredom. I grew up going in and out of the hospital, and that puzzle was my only sanctuary when we were all waiting for me to be discharged from confinement.

Moving on, I had little hopes for any books re-telling the little mermaid, because:

1. I don’t think anyone can justify a re-telling of one of my favorite princesses.

2.  Re-tellings are just not my thing.

But then, To Kill A Kingdom lived up to my expectations. In fact, it surpassed the limit.

TKAK is a story about Lira, a siren who collects human hearts yearly, during her birthday. She is called the Princes’ Bane for she only collects hearts of princes. She needs to collect hearts to prove herself worthy of the kingdom she’s going to inherit from her mother, the Sea Queen. But her mother is cunning and brutal and doesn’t approve of anything that’ll make Lira seem weak. The Sea Queen turned Lira into a monster—molding her into a heartless siren that only cares about human hearts and the throne.

Elian is the prince of Midras, a pirate and a siren killer. He has dedicated his life in killing sirens, specially the Princes’ Bane. He has a ship called Saad, and his crew calls him the Captain. They have been roaming around the sea in search for the Diavolos Sea, where the sirens’ kingdom lies. Elian has sworn to commit his life in ending the war between them and the sirens by killing the Sea Queen and her heir. In between that expedition, he is expected to return to Midras and be the next king to rule the said kingdom, but Elian’s heart is with the Saad and being a pirate is his life-long passion.

When they cross paths, could they still uphold their desire and blood thirst of killing each other? Or will their hearts decree to what they are accustomed to?

I don’t want to spoil it to you guys, I think y’all should read it and see for yourself. This book needs more readers and I am a hundred percent sure that it wouldn’t disappoint.

This book amazed me in so many ways that I think I could no longer read any more re-tellings without comparing them to To Kill A Kingdom. It had set my standard into a level that is, now, hard to exceed.

The writing style of Alexandra Christo is exceptional and very hooking, now, I am determined to buy anything she writes. I am certain that she is now included in my growing list of auto-buy authors.

TKAK is just the right amount of everything—romance, action, and wit. And if you are a fantasy reader that has little interest in clichés and fluffy romance, then this book is absolutely for you!  

I had so much fun reading this book and I am definitely sure that I am going to re-read it soon enough. I was just kind of hoping that this isn’t a stand-alone novel. I wanted more. But nevertheless, the ending still satisfied me and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

And oh, I call dibs for Elian!

Rating: 5/5 shining stars.

[middayreads-blog]

Supermarket Tale

I can feel the tiny droplets of sweat rolling from the collar of my shirt down to the lower part of my back. Damn it, I should’ve known better. I should’ve just let here decide for our first date.

Looking outside the window, the beaming sun scorches hot more than ever that I can almost see the heatwaves roaring at the grainy asphalt-- my stupid car, obviously, does not want to get along with my plans. 

The humid inside the car is almost as unbearable as the heat outside. I, out of habit, touch my forehead which I always do when I am getting embarrassed.

I look at her and catch her already looking at me.

“I’m sorry.” I blurt out before I can even think.

“What are you sorry for?” she asks, smiling.

“This.. This is supposed to be special and yet we’re stuck in a traffic with my old rusty car and its broken ass aircon.” I explain. My cheeks flush from humiliation. 

“It’s fine,” she says, toying the thread dangling at the far end of her floral dress. “in fact, I have a better idea.” she looks at me with such pure excitement.

Her eyes always lit up with adventure underneath, and if you stare at them, like really stare at her round black eyes, you’ll realize that they are not totally black. They are the darkest shade of brown you could possibly imagine. Like a tree inside a rain forest-- soaked with the faintest drizzle of precipitation day per day.

“What do you mean?” I say, confuse with what she just said.

“Pull over. There.” she says pointing at the Supermarket near the high way.

“I’m not, errr, picking up.”

She laughs. She is so adorable when she does.

“Just do what I said, you chipmunk.” she pinches my ear lightly. Her fingers are too soft and cold that I almost jump on her touch. I think she is just as nervous as I am.

“What ever you say, princess.” I say, mocking her, as I maneuver my car and drive our way to where she wants us to go instead. 

                                                               ****

We entered the familiar place and my eyes automatically wander around. Block over block of items that perfectly aligned at the grocery shelves. I am trying to remember the last time I was here.

“So, the Supermarket, huh?” I tell her. 

She nods cheerfully while she tiptoes around the vicinity. Gracefully touching the items like a child set on loose. 

I walk with her, feeling the ambiance of the place.

“Do you cook?” she asks.

I laugh. It’s funny how one serious question can make someone laugh just because the answer to it is either embarrassing or just simply too funny to admit, “I don’t. Hmm, is that a requirement to date you?” 

“Oh god, no, I don’t want to date someone who cooks incredibly good more than I do.” she says, pouting.

“Well, that’s go--”

“And...” she cuts in, “I want to cook someday for you.” 

I smile to myself. I can imagine her doing so. Emery wearing her apron with baby elephant prints, and her hair smelling like celery and grated lemons. 

But the imagination goes away as fast as a blink. Because the thing is, Emery is the kind of woman every body wants. She is kind, compassionate and beautiful. Actually, no, beautiful is an understatement. She is more than that inside and out. While me? I’m a nobody. Basically just a mediocre man who’s thriving to fit in everyday.

“Why me?” I asks. I can feel my chest rising, my heartbeat ringing in my ear.

She stops and looks at me, “Why not?”

“I’m just not exactly sure why of all people, you choose me.”

“Why not?” she repeats.

“Because I am me. A nobody.”

“Exactly. You’re not trying to be someone else. You are you. You do what you do. Simple as that. And please stop calling yourself a nobody-- you are somebody to me.”

“But, I just.. I don’t.. Ahh, man, I don’t think you deserve me.” Great, just great. First date and I’m already trying to start an argument.In public.

“Jonah, you are a man of your words. I have witnessed you do wonderful things to other people and you make me so happy with your little efforts. Why would I let someone like that slip away from me?” she confesses.

I try to turn away from her so I can hide my blush but she grabs my arm and looks straight to my eyes as if she can see my soul within. 

She bursts into laughter and says, “You look like a tomato when you blush.”

I laugh with her as I hold her hand tightly.

“So, why’d you take me to the Supermarket?” I ask.

She placed something on my hand and say,

“So that this can of beans will remind you of me.”

I smile to myself, because I know I will.

I certainly will.

[middayreads-blog]

Angelfall by Susan Ee

Synopsis:  It's been six weeks since angels of the apocalypse descended to demolish the modern world. Street gangs rule the day while fear and superstition rule the night. When warrior angels fly away with a helpless little girl, her seventeen-year-old sister Penryn will do anything to get her back. Anything, including making a deal with an enemy angel. Raffe is a warrior who lies broken and wingless on the street. After eons of fighting his own battles, he finds himself being rescued from a desperate situation by a half-starved teenage girl. Traveling through a dark and twisted Northern California, they have only each other to rely on for survival. Together, they journey toward the angels' stronghold in San Francisco where she'll risk everything to rescue her sister and he'll put himself at the mercy of his greatest enemies for the chance to be made whole again.

This book!!!

Wait, that doesn’t sound right…

THHHHHIIISSSSSS BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKK!!!

I don’t know what to say. My thoughts are scattered everywhere, and I am still trying so hard to stable my mind. I want to gather my thoughts properly, so I could make a decent review for this holy sanctified book.

This book is a masterpiece.

That’s it. Maybe that’s the only thing I could say about this book. But bullshit—masterpiece is not even an enough validation to designate how beautiful this is.

I don’t know but I’m still trying so hard to gather my thoughts. I can’t formulate explanations to finish this. But, I’ll try.

Do you ever read a book that kept you up all night, thinking okay, I’ve never read anything like that. Cool fucking beans. And the next thing you know, you’re still thinking about it the next day. And the day after that. And the day after that.

Well, for me, Angellfall is that book.

I loved it!

This was a self-published novel, as an eBook. How and why this book was never published the traditional way was a mystery to me. All along, I thought that this book was so terrible that nobody wanted to publish it out into a physical one.

All along, well I’m not even surprised here, I was wrong.

Angelfall is set in a post-apocalyptic world that was ruined by angels. Angels are cliché, I know. But I do love them. To be clear, I don’t obsessed over the mainstream ones. I like those angels that are badass, have fighting swords, no halos, and are agnostic—basically, Raffe. Lol.

Never in my entire freaking, sub-urban, mediocre life I have found an angel who isn’t sure if he believes in God or what. This book made me re-think the things I used to believe in. And it’s awesome!

I have actually read this book way back 2013 but I unfortunately forgot everything that has happened in it, so I’ve decided to re-read it because I really wanted to jump into reading its sequel which is World After, also, considering the fact that it’s one hell of a good book. I used to read reviews about it, and oh god, the praises are totally accurate. Take it from me, Susan Ee’s writing is more than exceptional.

I am seriously in love with the idea of angels turning the world into a total havoc.

The protagonist in this book-- Penryn Young-- should be every writers’ inspiration of a badass character. I loved her so completely; believed in her and championed her. This book is a brilliant journey of great character and spirit. Full of the weird and wonderful. 

With Raffe-- what I liked about his character is his sense of humor. He comes up with really funny and witty jokes even in the most thrilled moments. He is also a man of his word, caring, pretty strong and quite smart.

Ee has a great imagination and a gift for story telling and she brings back angels to the badass level that was so horribly decimated by authors like Kate, Adornetto, and Fitzpatrick. And that, in my opinion, is awesome. 

Angelfall is certainly a page-turner and it gets better and better as the story progresses. I am not surprised everyone who's read this novel is so excited about it and its sequel. It is a stellar entertainment. 

If you're looking for something different from the standard YA fare, and like a bit of grit and darkness as well, then do get yourself a copy of Angelfall.

 Rating: 6/5 stars. You read it right.

[middayreads-blog]

War Storm by Victoria Aveyard

Okaaaaay.

War Storm is the last installment to the Red Queen series by Victoria Aveyard.

Synopsis:  Victory comes at a price. Mare Barrow learned this all too well when Cal’s betrayal nearly destroyed her. Now determined to protect her heart—and secure freedom for Reds and newbloods like her—Mare resolves to overthrow the kingdom of Norta once and for all… starting with the crown on Maven’s head. But no battle is won alone, and before the Reds may rise as one, Mare must side with the boy who broke her heart in order to defeat the boy who almost broke her. Cal’s powerful Silver allies, alongside Mare and the Scarlet Guard, prove a formidable force. But Maven is driven by an obsession so deep, he will stop at nothing to have Mare as his own again, even if it means demolishing everything—and everyone—in his path. War is coming, and all Mare has fought for hangs in the balance. Will victory be enough to topple the Silver kingdoms? Or will the little lightning girl be forever silenced? In the epic conclusion to Victoria Aveyard’s stunning series, Mare must embrace her fate and summon all her power… for all will be tested, but not all will survive

Sound interesting but don’t get fooled. 

Let’s get this straight to the point.

I didn’t hate it but I also didn’t exactly like it. I guess, multiple POVs isn’t and will never be my thing-- I just discovered it after reading this book, or I may be wrong, though. It may be just because I have this love-hate relationship with this series. I just couldn’t seem to love it the way others do. I don’t know.

Maven and Evangeline’s chapters were really entertaining. Mare’s were okay. Cal’s a bit dragging. Iris’ ??? (were her chapters even necessary? It was boring! Yeah, she’s powerful but her narration bored the hell out of me.)

There’s just so many unresolved issues in this book that I was beginning to wonder if Victoria only told us that this is the last installment just for the sake of mass marketing. And the cliffhanging ending? What a mainstream move.

I’ve accepted Maven’s destiny (well, I had a hard time telling that to myself, since I loved him so much). I loved how scabby and dark he was. I loved his history. I think no one can justify Maven’s character other than Victoria and I commend her for that. Only that.

But what happened to Elane and Evangeline? What happened to Cal and Mare? Cameron? The Montfort? The Scarlet Guard? Oh, I forgot Kilorn. What was his role again? Gaaah. I have so many unanswered questions. 

We were all slapped by Mare’s thunderous last line: I will come back.

I mean, come on! 

I didn’t have a hard time saying good bye to the characters and its world because they just didn’t connect with me that much.

If ever Victoria comes up with a spin-off, well guess what? I’m out. I’m no longer up for it. I’m just so done with the Red Queen. I gave it enough chance and it didn’t fail to disappoint me.

Adios, Red Queen. See you never.

Rating: 2/5 stars.

[middayreads-blog]

The Wild by K Webster

Synopsis: I brought them to the wilderness because we couldn’t cope with our reality.

The plan was to make a new life that didn’t include heartache.

No people. No technology. No interference.

Just us.

A chance to piece together what was broken.

But the wilderness is untamed and harsh.

Brutal and unforgiving.

It doesn’t give a damn about your feelings.

Tragedy lives there too.

No escaping the truths that won’t let you go.

All you can do is survive where love, no matter how beastly, is the only thing you can truly count on.

Confusing. Wrong. Twisted. Beautiful. Sick.

Love is wild.

And we’re going to set it free.

Warning:

The Wild is an extremely taboo story. Most will find that the themes in this book will make you incredibly uncomfortable. This book is only for the brave, the open-minded, and the ones who crave love in even the most dismal of situations. Extreme sexual themes and violence in certain scenes, which could trigger emotional distress, are found in this story. If you are sensitive to heavy taboo themes, then this story is not for you. 

I just want to start by saying that I am totally okay with taboo stories, specifically incest, I mean, I don’t mind stories like this, but the plot line was basically non existent. It was mainly the reason why I’m enraged right now. This story revolves around a close-tied family who had twins. Reed, the father; Sabrina, the mother; and Devon & Drew, the twins. But when Drew died at the age of ten, Sabrina became a total wreck, submerging into depression, leaving his remaining child and husband heartbroken.

6 years later, Sabrina was still wallowing in depression. Devon and Reed had to settle with that; they became close, without intense intention. Yet.

But when Sabrina died in a most (i just had to say this, please) FUCKING POPPYCOCK possible way while they were in a vacation in a forest, Red & Devon were forced to to bury her and continue to live their lives in that forest with their shipwrecked RV. I still can’t fathom the idea as to why wouldn’t they just go home instead?? It’s freaking hurting my brain.

That’s when the tension between the father and daughter intensifies. They began having sex and such and I don’t even know how to explain the novel, it was so hideous and contemptible. 

Curiosity kills the cat, right?

Well, I'm that cat.

I saw this at one of my co-boomworm's blog and the synopsis caught my attention, besides I haven't read any taboo novels for a while now, so I thought, why not?

But damn. Damn damn damn. What did I get myself into?

This book is so much more... of a crappy plot twist and an exasperating story line. Like, I wanted to rip it all into pieces and throw it out my window— if only I wasn't reading it using my phone. This is total bullshit. A garbage. Hell in the form of a book residing on earth. I wasted my 3 good hours trying to ingest this novel. I ended up being constipated. Witty me.

Oh, I wouldn't lie. The warning at the beginning of the book was captivating that it made me want to read the book as soon as possible. The curious cat that I was became so engrossed that I opted not to read reviews first. 

The fact that I've heard news about how Amazon pulled it out of their shelves because of its obscene theme added more fuel to the fire. It was intriguing, believe me. Well, for all I know, Amazon banned it to save the author from further severe humiliation because the author’s writing is a complete trash. I never thought books like this exist not until I finally settled my eyes on its pages. It was infuriating that I had to prevent myself from banging my head repeatedly on the wall because everything was so terribly ludicrous. It was preposterous and there were just so many unnecessary parts. It came to a point where I just skimmed it instead of really absorbing it. I just can’t take it, it was too draining. But I had to finish it. No books should be left unfinished on my list.

Although it was a fast read and is only composed of less than 200 pages, I still hated the fact that I invested my 3 precious reading hours reading this rubbish novel instead of starting a new one on my growing pile of to be read list.

Some may say, it’s a taboo, what would you expect? But there are taboo novels that have decent plot. I’ve read a couple of them that I really did enjoy (i.e, Forbidden by Tabitha Suzuma). So, you can’t really say that all taboo novels are balderdash. It’s all based on the author’s skills, truth be told.

I really really wanted to like this book and enjoy it much more. The main couple had no chemistry but then I gave it a chance still because this is incest (!!!). I mean, it’s forgivable if it doesn’t have any chemistry. But then, I didn’t really like the story and how things went about in situations. I skimmed the last 50% of the book which I rarely do.

Rating: doesn’t deserve any stars/5 stars

[middayreads-blog]

King’s Cage by Victoria Aveyard

I never liked the Red Queen.

Glass Sword exhausted my brain.

But King’s Cage-- I was extremely surprised that it finally lived up to my expectations.

I have really high hopes for hi-fantasy novels that are included in a hype. I trust the blurb easily. I trust reviews I see at the back cover of the books. 

I know, I shouldn’t. Trust me, I’m trying not to. But I am failing miserably.. everyday. *slowly looks at my growing pile of TBR* *cringes*

Anyway, as I’ve said earlier, King’s Cage finally stepped up its game. I was in total awe about how we were able to see, at last, another person’s point of view, and that is, Cameron.

I was wishing for this to happen since book one, like cmon, Victoria, give us another POV because I couldn’t stand being in Mare’s mind anymore!!! and then this happened... on the third book! Imagine the agony of waiting.

I love Cameron so much. She is so strong and independent. I mean, yes, she relies every once in a while with the Scarlet Guard, but she can also handle her own. Given the fact, that her power is silence-- one of the strongest ability there is. She could make any Silvers or Newbloods powerless by just using her mind.

I also love that she is quite frank and she speaks the truth; Mare is dumb and makes stupid impulsive decisions, while Cal only thinks about saving Mare and his Silver people. Cameron is a keen observer. She observes everyone’s behavior first before striking. Her character is cunning and brilliant.

Mare’s behavior here is tolerable. Maybe partly because she is in king’s cage and she has no choice but to act and to be a prisoner, per se. At least, finally, she’s using her mind before taking a step. Oh, good lord, at last!

Cal, however swoony, is a total let down in this book. I felt like instead of growing, his character is sinking. His political views are completely opposite from Mare’s, and their love-bickering attitude doesn’t amuse me anymore. It’s frustrating and tiring.  

So, can we talk about Maven? Jesus. This kid needs saving. He was brainwashed and manipulated by her terrible mother since he was born, and he is struggling to find who he truly is; he doesn’t know what thoughts are his. Maven is darkness incarnate that it saddened me because I just want him to have his happily ever after. But there is none. Let me have him instead.

Oh, and there are new characters and I’ve heard that we’d be able to hear from them on the last installment. More POVs!

The relentless war, dirty politics and crappy romance, though, will probably pull this series down. It wasn’t the best and clearly not solid enough to make the Red Queen series that interesting.

Nonetheless, War Storm it is! 

[middayreads-blog]

[middayreads-blog]

A Court of Frost and Starlight by Sarah J. Maas

Warning: This review contains major spoilers!!!

Someone hold me. I might hyperventilate any minute now.

I’ve just finished reading my most anticipated book this 2018 and I can’t contain my feels. It’s overflowing. I honestly don’t know how to manage all these influx of emotions. Please don’t expect me to have this talk in chronological order since I’m still at the verge of gathering my thoughts and calming myself all at the same time. I really love the ACOTAR series and doing this review won’t even justify the enormity of my love for Maas, the courts, the story, the characters, the world and everything about this series!

First of all, let’s talk about the Winter Solstice. OH MY GOD. Such a wonderful holiday to experience. The Winter Court celebrates it because, of course, to simply put it, they are the Winter Court. But the Night Court celebrates it because its the longest night of the year. Imagine a feast where faes of all kinds gather together to drink, dance and have fun. The decorations mentioned in the book are magnificent, too. My imagination was filled with sparks and colors I couldn’t even give the names of. Winter Solstice is also Feyre’s 21st birthday, so, you can’t picture how happy I was to see Feyre celebrating her birthday in their home-- Velaris-- along with her family- Rhysand, the Inner Circle, Nesta and Elain.

I was enthralled, too, by their exchanging of gifts during the Solstice, awed by the things they bought for each other. Just seeing them dining in one table, having a fine dinner, laughing, being careless and having fun lightened up my mood and made my heart swell with love. 

Also, the Tradition! It’s so cute! At first, I was kinda worried since okay, another tradition, who’s gonna go home covered in blood this time? But little did I know that the said tradition was the most adorable! It’s a snowball fight; Rhysand, Azriel and Cassian have been doing it since they were children and up until now that they are already on their 500th. Isn’t it the cutest?

There may have been another war that’s about to begin in the next books- about the Illyrian warriors and all that stuff. But can we just skip that in this review? I want this talk to be as light as possible. Hee hee.

Okay, now, let’s talk about the multiple POVs. I repeat, multiple POVs! This is not a drill. 

I love how we finally got the chance to see Cassian & Morrigan’s point of view. But I find it a little unfair that Azriel and Amren are left behind, same goes with Elain. You might deem this a bit weird but I somehow craved for a Tamlin or Lucien POV, just to check on what they truly feel about the other characters. I was slightly curious about Tamlin’s real emotions towards Feyre and Rhysand. But I guess that’s the beauty of not knowing, we are left thinking about its vast possibilities. 

So, Cassian. My sympathy goes to the toxicity of his past as an Illyrian warrior and his torturous training with Azriel and Rhysand as they were growing up. I don’t want to pity him or them but considering the fact that their loved ones were killed in the most inhumane (I know, they are immortals but you get the gist) possible way, then you can’t blame me for sympathizing them. Anyway, I love how we get to see a glimpse of their past, especially Cassian because if you know me, then you’ll know how I adore him so much! My poor Illyrian baby.

I have so many things I want to talk about. It’s seriously already jumbling in my head. I’m sorry. Hahahaha.

Going back, I want to talk about Azriel, Elain and Lucien. Alright, so I have to admit that I’m a little bit fond of love triangle relationships. I mean, come on, aren’t we all are? Or even if not, I have to admit that it’s my guilty pleasure. Maas didn’t subtly shove their love triangle in our faces but knowing Azriel? The quiet, almost stone-hearted male who rarely shows his emotions? It is pretty obvious that he is slowly falling in love with Elain. I am really interested on how their story will go since Elain is mated to Lucien in the first place.

With Rhysand, Feyre and Tamlin, it never felt like a love triangle. Feyre being with Tamlin at the first installment of the series felt forced, so I never saw it as a genuine love story, not until Rhysand came, of course. But with Azriel, Elain and Lucien? I don’t know, I was kinda torn between the two good males. 

About Nesta, though. I was not impressed by how she acts. I still couldn’t comprehend the way she treats people around her. Okay, I get it, she doesn’t want to be a Fae and all that whatnot. But considering other people’s feelings or at least respecting them won’t hurt, right? Nesta won’t, she never wanted and never will. She is determined to hate the fact that she was Made. Nesta treats Cassian like a trash, despite him being all out about his adoration for her, and for that, I will never forgive her. I’m not gonna ship them. I don’t want to. Unless Nesta will have a change of heart. I know, I’m unfair, but she’s a fucking pain in everyone’s asses. So, yeah.

I had so many moments were I was completely swooning over FeySand. The kind of love story they have, that’s the one you would want to have in the future. Rhysand loves Feyre so much he would bow to nothing and no one but her. He is even willing to lose his crown-- everything he has-- just for Feyre. Rhysand loves her so much my heart ached. It was wonderful.

I was shocked by Rhysand’s revelation to Feyre that all the breath-taking dresses he gave to her was made by his mother who was a weaver.

“Long ago, when I was still a boy, she made them-- all your gowns. A trousseau for my future bride. Every piece ... Every piece I have ever given you to wear, she made them. For you.” --Rhysand

I lost it there. I was trying to hold back the burning in my eyes, not knowing that the tears were already falling. I was crying like a legit baby. I never knew this kind of love existed, not until I witnessed this perfect love the two have. 

My sob went harder when Feyre asks Rhysand to finally have a baby and in return, Rhysand gave her a whole estate, by the river side, over looking the Rainbow. With lots of room for her to design; office, art studio and even a nursery room for their future babies. I’m crying.

I know, I’ve said it before, I don’t want a pregnant Feyre, they’re not ready, but Rhysand’s reaction to that made my heart melt and my knees wobbly. I was like a hen acting like a proud mother to her little chicks. I swear, I’m not exaggerating things. I sobbed harder than I thought I would.

But that didn’t stop there. Aha, this all Maas’ fault. She wanted us to feel this way; jealous but at the same time happy for the both of them. When Feyre asks Rhysand if he could change the eye tattoos on her palms into the Night Court insignia-- the high mountain with three stars that frame at its uppermost peak-- that’s when I knew that they will last forever. No turning back. Stars Eternal and Night Triumphant.

I think it’s pretty clear now that this series holds a special place in my heart.

I’ve held every characters so close to me and I know that they have already made an impact in my life.

Some may say it’s just fiction. But to me, they’re more than that. 

To me, they are family.

So I leaned into him, into that unfailing strength, and said down the bond, You make me so very happy. My life is happy, and I will never stop being grateful that you are in it. 

I looked up to find him not at all ashamed to have tears slipping down his cheeks in public. I brushed a few away before the chill wind could freeze them, and Rhys whispered in my ear, “I will never stop being grateful to have you in my life, either, Feyre darling. And no matter what lies ahead”—a small, joyous smile at that—“we will face it together. Enjoy every moment of it together.” 

I leaned into him again, his arm tightening around my shoulders. Around the top of the arm inked with the tattoo we both bore, the promise between us. To never part, not until the end. 

And even after that. 

I love you, I said down the bond. 

What’s not to love? 

Before I could elbow him, Rhys kissed me again, breathless and swift. To the stars who listen, Feyre. 

I brushed a hand over his cheek to wipe away the last of his tears, his skin warm and soft, and we turned down the street that would lead us home. Toward our future—and all that waited within it. 

To the dreams that are answered, Rhys.

Rating: 5/5 stars