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Reddie eyes

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I want to be soft and gentle and kindhearted and warm and loving and have open ears and an open heart and have people know that I care about them and I’ll listen to them

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Unwanted, Not needed....

I guess my fear is to be not needed. At my job or in my life. I wonder why is that?  I've been feeling a lot of loneliness lately but, not like before.

Back in the days, I would be in such a thinking spree to what I should be doing and why I'm not doing these things. Things that would make me feel important or worthy in the world. I wanted to be something special, unique but also the person to save the day.

Even before I could remember that I would always have dreams or fantasies about me being a superhero or someone special to do great things. Unnatural hero shit but saving or being there for someone or the world. That kind of attention. To always be there or that person. 

Could be why I'm a people pleaser. Or just that person to always go to when something needs to be done

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If you think about it..

Life is so insignificant that, does it really matter what we do now? I mean, we are born, to work for most of our lives then die either unfulfilled, in debt, regretting things we should have done in the past. I lose myself in thoughts of things I've done wrong to people, or the things I've said. Sometimes the things that I've yet to do, want to do it, but can't get the courage to do them. Then think about the people that I've met, hear their story and wonder, how?

I  wonder how did they just do. Did they feel the crippling anxiety I feel on a daily when I think about things that I should be doing for my future and not doing them? Every time I think that I then realize, how stupid I sound, how insignificant this problem is. How really and truly of a fixed mindset I have. Why is failure so hard? The most successful people have their fair share of it yet something about it makes me believe it didn't exist for them. This doesn't make any sense but I know that I'm not alone on this. Billions of people, billions of personalities and billions of mindsets. It doesn't make this a rare thing but, It makes it an interesting mental health topic to work on.

Why fixed? Why rigged? Why does it feel so overwhelming at times?

Why perfect? Why shame? Why does it feel so hard to change, when in fact you want to?

Like anything, its something to work on in this meaningless world. Give this subjective life some meaning.

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If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.

(via naturaekos)

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I am weird, you are weird. Everyone in this world is weird. One day two people come together in mutual weirdness and fall in love.

(via naturaekos)

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Silence is sometimes the best answer.

(via naturaekos)

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reblog if you want a cute anonymous message in your ask.

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I love the clouds 🌤☁️❤️

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I love when he plays with my hair <3

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taking off my bra, puting on a big t-shirt, and crawling into bed at the end of the day is very sexy of me if I do say so myself 

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Alternatives to Tumblr if Yahoo goes any further

Soup.io - well-known alternative to Tumblr. Reblogging, post types, themes, collab blogs, dashboard, artsy, great community already there. Soup can auto-import everything you’ve posted on Tumblr.

TypePad - Includes reblogging. Dashboard and post types similar to Tumblr.

Jux - Artful posts, beautiful blogging experience