mewhenimnormal

[mewhenimnormal]

"i feel like an MRA and keep getting accused of being a misogynist when i say women should be nicer to men to help deradicalise them" is the funniest shit to see from a transandrophobia guy.

*dude who really wants trans women to be nicer about his misogynistic views voice* yea women should be nicer to men about their misogynistic views

[mewhenimnormal]

the one thing i have to give transandro types a tiny bit of credit for is recognizing a lot of trans spaces do contain massive amounts of a particular kind of vitriol towards trans men. thats not false. the issue comes in with the urge to blame it on us baeddels (i mean feminazis, i mean transandrophic trans women) obfuscates any real discussion of who in trans spaces is actually the source of this particular vitriol.

like. "truscum" are usually trans men. all the "trender" caricature art made during tumblrs peak of was made by trans men. "trender" and its evolution "pooner" and thats associated "zippertits" were all either coined by trans men or popularized by trans men. all of the vilest shit ive ever read about phallo/meta/etc surgeries has been said by trans men. the list could go on, but its all just a trans guy spin on the way many cis guys often also proclaim themselves to be Real Men; by enacting various forms of social violence on various kinds of other men, who insufficently perform the right set of cultural masculine norms, who they have or want some other position of social power over, to demonstrate themself as the superior to the failed man.

[mewhenimnormal]

Watching ""wholesome"" queers see the most benign fetish post in existence from a transfem and then they quintuple jump-flip onto a slide that drops them down at 500,000mph into the deepest, most chemically dense pool of hitler particles in the entire multiverse, face first, mouth wide open swallowing the entire thing in one big audible gulp

[mewhenimnormal]

Dudes will be posting about their crazy radical binary destroying gender fuckery & the whole time he's just a transmasc who dates cis lesbians

[mewhenimnormal]

someone: trans men need more support on this site-

me: good post op!

someone: -and why does everyone give so much to trans girls?

me: terrible post op!

[mewhenimnormal]

ohhh i hope this guy kills himself

[mewhenimnormal]

ohhh i hope this guy kills himself

[mewhenimnormal]

i think if you ever reach a point in your ideology where you are equating trans lesbians to terfs, you need to take a very large pause and think about where you went wrong

[mewhenimnormal]

Pay attention to how many of these "transandrophobia is real" people say "transwomen" without the space when talking to each other. Remember that the lack of a space is a transphobic dog whistle. You'll start to notice something scary.

[mewhenimnormal]

okay so in scrolling through transandrophobia tags and blogs the other day (to block them all) we found something interesting, that we havent seen anyone talk about.

they've coined another new term! and this time, it happens to be really interesting, in two different ways. let's talk about Malgendering

the first interesting thing is the way they define and describe this term: Malgendering is, unlike misgendering, respecting someone's gender but only when it allows you to discriminate against them on a gendered basis; or respecting someone's gender specifically by discriminating against them for it.

i.e., treating a transfem like a woman when it allows you to be misogynist, or treating a transmasc like a man so you can exclude them from lesbian spaces (<sarcasm>which totally counts as gender discrimination guys please believe me</sarcasm>)

and this is really interesting! specifically, i find it interesting because it illuminates why transandrophobia is a flawed theory. and because transfeminists, who are actually like. discussing and creating theory. havent created a term for this yet (to my knowledge)

because under transmisogyny, we are treated as women and discriminated against as women while simultaneously being misgendered, and told that we're not women and never will be.

transmascs experience transphobia, in being misgendered or discriminated against for being trans, or misogyny, in being falsely seen as women and treated suchly. but they dont experience any kind of systemic intersection of the two, its always one or the other.

and "malgendering" describes this switch! it points out, directly, that transmascs are, in the way they present themselves, essentially given a choice between whether to experience transphobia, or misogyny.

the other interesting thing about it is how they actually use it. which comes with a slightly different definition. the way transandrobros actually use the term malgendering is "the act of forcing a transmasc to misgender themselves in order to escape transandrophobic discrimination"

or in other words! that thing they do, where they resort to bioessentialist vagina purity logic, and misgender themselves to paint themselves as the victims of male aggression and violence at the hands of those nasty baeddels

they are now reframing that as something we force them to do, shifting blame for their own cissexist worldview onto the transfeminists they're trying to shout down.

and that's uh. bad. i dont have anything else smart to say on that. its just something we noticed, that we hadnt seen anyone talking about, and thought it might be worth like, starting a little conversation or spreading awareness, so y'all know what they mean, (and what they think they mean) when they inevitably start using the word in hate anons.

[mewhenimnormal]

In my experience there is no one who fumbles trans women more than trans men

[mewhenimnormal]

This is the single most misogynistic comment section I've seen in my entire life

[mewhenimnormal]

[walking confidently into a live minefield] I can't say for sure how we reached the point where "trans women everywhere (read as: everywhere online) oppress/hate/are secretly plotting the downfall of trans men" is a thing that people think is both true and reasonable to believe, but I think at least one factor is a stupid vicious cycle of bad actors and gullible bystanders where, like. you have some guys engaging in shitty misogynistic behavior > some women either try to explain why this behavior is shitty and misogynistic (to no avail) or just disengage entirely > instead of learning from this, the guys act all wounded about it > outside observers who don't have a great grasp on the situation (or maybe don't have great grasp on how misogyny functions in general, or think that only cis men can engage in misogynistic behaviors, or have some kind of unconscious hang-up against trans women) see this and think aw man, these poor dudes are getting ragged on for no reason! > people who weren't necessarily doing the original shitty misogynistic behavior are falsely pointing the finger at trans women for "starting shit" > this is obviously fucking irritating, and no one has an infinite well of patience, so after calmly defending themselves however many times, some of these ladies are just gonna start telling bad-faith jokers to fuck off > shitty dudes and gullible bystanders go "see, they're doing it again! those man-hating harpies!" > women continue to be irritated and (understandably) defensive, tell bad-faith jokers to fuck off > and so on and so forth.

and to be clear "vicious cycle" does not mean "oh well really it's everyone's fault for being involved in the whole mess." I think there's a pretty clear cause and effect here where if you're dismissive of women's voices and viewpoints, and hold them to unfair standards, and just generally aren't very nice, they might not be very nice to you in return. and why should they be!

[mewhenimnormal]

Idk I just have no patience for trans men/masculine people who refuse to acknowledge transmisogyny. Like. The worst experience I ever had with transphobia was when I was mistaken for a trans women. In a culinary program, I was cutting bell peppers, and one of the other students, a really big dude in a student leadership position, walks in and accusatory goes "so are you trying to be a woman, or something?" And I'm like. Well I'm trying to small dice these peppers. And I tell him I'm not a she and he says something to the effect of "Yeah I know that much." He makes some comment abt how whatever I'm doing doesn't make sense and he doesn't get it and when I tell him he doesn't have to, that he just has to respect it, he says "I don't have to do shit!" And gets real mad! Like actual threats mad! Tells me he could bash my skull in and to meet him outside for a fight and yeah it was fucking scary! The entire interaction I'm reminding myself that I'm the one currently holding a knife, if he tries anything.

Fast forward a few days later and my period is kicking my ass. Just absolutely destroying me. I'm in the dish pit, and I am visibly struggling, I'm nauseous, I'm in pain and bracing myself against walls. I'm not walking straight. And the same student leadership guy who was so aggressive with me when he thought I was transfem?

He tells me I look like I'm going to pass out. He says it's obvious I'm in pain, I shouldn't be in class, I can go sit down and if nobody can replace me he'll do the dishes himself.

Like. Do you get it yet. It's not just that he felt comfortable openly threatening me in a room full of other people when he thought I was a trans woman. It's that he did a complete 180 and was not only willing to support me, but actually pick up my slack once he knew I wasn't "that kind" of transgender. As soon as one of our classmates confirmed to him that I wasn't the wrong type of trans person I suddenly became someone who actually deserved care and compassion in his eyes. The "bigots think we're all the same and hate all of is equally" rhetoric isn't fucking true. It's just peddled to deny the privilege we have over other members of our community so it's easier to ignore how inhospitable supposedly trans-centric spaces are for TMA people.

[mewhenimnormal]

This is incredibly fucking damning lol. Follower base of mras who never even interact with transfems

[mewhenimnormal]

"as a guy who escaped the alt-right pipeline, [*blames it on Misandry*]"

[mewhenimnormal]

Ok but do you mean "radfem" as in the strawman "men are ontologically evil" version of it that TERFs roleplay as to cover for their transphobia, or the framework for correctly pointing out the ways patriarchal society benefits men at the expense of women?