metanooia

[metanooia]

Dear Ka Iki #2

ka iki.. this is the moment that i realized that i love you (you) yes i really mean about the 'you' because i never felt this feeling before i fall for you just the way you are not about the idea of what you have or who are you but i fall in love with your soul.. your beautiful soul.

Ka iki i know we both have nothing now sayang... but i do believe that Allah will give us guidance and the best way for us, jangan pernah berhenti berjuang untuk mengubah our "nothing" to "everything" ya sayang. Aku selalu bilang "ka iki pasti bisa" "you'll make it" "waktu kamu pasti dateng" cause i really really mean it sayang maybe its just sounds like 'sekedar kata kata penenang' yang terdengar basi... but if you look into my deepest heart you'll see you're self from my point of view and you'll understand that i said that because i do believe in you, i really support you until that day.. til your better day are come 💗

Also jangan ragu kalau ka iki mau diskusiin sesuatu ya, atau mau minta tolong sesuatu, atau mau tanya pendapat, atau cuma mau sekedar didenger atau apapun itu please come to me and let me know sayang. Eumm and i hate to said this but, i think that i mature enough until i met you, its feel like i have an zero capacity to hold then pull your hand to run with me to a better place, to a brighter situation or even just to make you feel little bit better with your current situation, and yes i realized that maybe with you i will not be that kind of girl that can teach you something, can make you learn something new, atau membentuk kamu ya just like someone already did to you, but i will be the girl that will stand right beside you, holding your hand tightly in every situation that you need to be through, i maybe only have two hands but its all yours ka.. one for holding your hand and the other one will always ready to help you everytime you need someone to borrow you a hand (in a good way i mean, since we talked dirty A LOT, this thing kinda sounds dirty and suspicious jadinya 😔) i start wrote this at 02:50 and now its 4:21 i think that's all i want to say for now sayang.

And remember when Allah remind us in quran surah Al Baqarah 286; لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا "Allah tidak membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya"

And when Allah mention it twice in quran surah Al Insyirah 5-6; فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا , إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا "Maka, sesungguhnya beserta kesulitan ada kemudahanSesungguhnya beserta kesulitan ada kemudahan"

And when Allah want us to know that Allah will giving us something in the right time and in very unexpected way so Allah mention it in quran surah At talaq 3; "وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَي��ثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ"Dan Dia memberinya rezeki dari arah yang tidak disangka-sangkanya

And when Allah told us what should we do in quran surah Al Baqarah 153 ; يٰٓاَيُّهَا الَّذِيْنَ اٰمَنُوا اسْتَعِيْنُوْا بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلٰوةِ ۗ اِنَّ اللّٰهَ مَعَ الصّٰبِرِيْنَ — jadikanlah sabar dan shalat sebagai penolongmu

anw if you go back to the first paragraph, i actually decided to wrote this letter because after i texted you and you don't reply it again i watched my current comfort series "Brooklyn 99" and this scene comes up

and you know what ? its crazy when the feeling that suddenly comes up on me is when im thinking how if this will happened to us in the "future".. yes let's highlight the future ka, i never want to date for marriage before you but when im with you its all different even like i said that we're both its still have nothing but i see the future in you and with you... So, to my dearest boyfriend, may Allah will guide you to Allah's greatest way and Allah's greatest plan and until that day come please keep strong, keep going, keep trying, keep doing and keep praying, also may universe will always protect us and our relationship. Amiin ku untuk segala hal hal baik di esok hari.