messofamess

[messofamess]

“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?”

— Ernest Hemingway

[messofamess]

Why does being tired suck so much

But like

Sleeping makes me tired too so

[messofamess]

Looks at belly

Looks at food

Looks at belly

Looks at food

"Fuck it I'm breaking this imaginary diet I've been dreading to start for five months. Again."

[messofamess]

Top moments of the day:

1.) Coffee with my grandma ☕

2.) Having a wonderful chat with one of my besties 💗

3.) Jamming out to some heavy rock music while wearing THE MOST GRANDMA SWEATER 👵

[messofamess]

I love cute little old ladies omg they're so sweet and they always call you sweetie or honey and just uggghhh my heart melts

[messofamess]

Speaking of traveling I got to cancel my trip to visit my boyfriend in Texas thanks mostly to COVID.

It's almost like there was a pandemic we didn't prepare for despite China losing its shit and it spreading quick in Italy. It's not like we do a fuckton of business with China anyway and should've maybe thought about how many people travel there.

If only we saw it coming 🙄

[messofamess]

I miss Adelaide.

Made an online friend a few years back and last year after Thanksgiving I flew out to meet them and hang for a couple weeks.

The city is beautiful, I love it so much! Looks so much nicer than most other cities I've been to. Thanks to public transport, we barely took the car. And, of course, I miss my friend!

Seriously considering moving there

[messofamess]

Waking up too early or too late like man if only I had something to help me sleep - oh wait I do

[messofamess]

I love smooth pickup lines or flirts but I also love it when my boyfriend takes the weirdest shit and changes it into a fucked flirt

I once called him honey bunches of oats

He called me something back

"I called you a cereal but ok"

"Yeah well I'd like to eat you out"

Like it is THE WORST but it is THE BEST. Stay weird.

[messofamess]

You ever see a celeb actor escape their typecast and you hit the five stages of grief cause it's different which isn't bad but you're scared it'll suck

[messofamess]

Nobody:

Me: *looks at adoptable cats knowing full well one of my housemates is allergic*

My mom after I send her pics of some of the cuties: do you need to come over and see the cats

Me: yes 😭

((I change clothes when I return home))

[messofamess]

Under blankets too hot

Lose a blanket too cold

Feet out = demon grabbies

[messofamess]

You ever feel soul tired?

Like you're physically tired and mentally tired and you wanna just sleep forever?

Not like forever.

But like 2 days isn't enough and maybe in two weeks you'll have slept your problems away but you know you won't so you're like "yeah, ever is fine"

Anyone feel me?

[messofamess]

Guess this'll be the first real post!

Uhhh, where to start?

I'm 24, so do the math, I was born in 1996. Right in the middle of the era of boy bands, some of the weirdest fashion I've ever seen, and right at the tail end of the Millennial gen group.

I had cassette tapes before CDs, VHS before DVD, I know what a floppy disk is. My first game consoles were the PS1 (hand me down from my oldest brother), Gameboy SD, and GameCube.

I saw the peak and fall of flip phones.

And despite all this "old" and "weird" shit, we had some of the most bomb cartoons.

I'm not just a 90s kid tho. My oldest brother was born in 1982. I watched the Fresh Prince, He-Man, older Scooby-Doos and Ninja Turtles. Thundercats. I listen to a lot of classic rock, and some metal like my brother. I grew up knowing Batman and Iron Man. I even knew the Punisher. He was a need, and I got a lot from him.

Even better, my mother was born in 1962. I love Elton John, BeeGees, B52s, all the good stuff. My brother gave me AC/DC, she gave me The Who.

My music taste is very hectic, especially if put on random. J-Pop to AC/DC to the LOTR theme to Elton John to the metal cover of Chandelier to K-Pop to the occasional N'SYNC to songs from RWBY to songs to Combichrist. I am all over the board. Hate country music tho. I spent a good chunk of my life living in redneck nowhere and I got sick of the same 6 songs by the same 15 artists.

My video gaming is pretty wild too. I grew up playing a Blues Clues video game. I played GTA Vice City when I was 8 or 9, not that I got very far. My brother and I loved DBZ fighting games.

It's the reason I can spell vegetable. I had a problem with the word, can't remember why. And my brother says, "You know Vegeta from DBZ?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you spell his name?"

"V-E-G-E-T-A"

"Put ble on the end"

🤯

I grew up loving Devil May Cry. Dante was my hero. Still kind of is.

Kids love Superman and I loathe him. He's just...overpowered. He can do everything.

I have 2 ideas I judge certain characters by:

The Superman Syndrome, and

The Goku Complex.

Don't know if complex is used correctly, but here it it:

The Superman Syndrome encapsulates character that are overpowered in a bad way. For Superman, he is...the ideal person. Golden heart, follows rules, saves lives, blah, blah blah. He is practically invincible. And after decades of the same routines, the only things that can make him interesting are making him evil or killing him. Like for realsies. If he comes back to life and is the same Superman, he would also fall under the Goku Complex.

The Goku Complex is a character that may or may not be invincible. It follows many of the same traits as the Superman Syndrome with one key difference: escalation.

Every comic hero has its staple villains. Batman and the Joker. Cap and the Red Skull.

Goku has his, sure, but his have key problems: each has to bigger and badder than the last. He died fighting Raditz. He takes his journey to get stronger and fights Nappa and Vegeta who are stronger. Then is Freiza who is even stronger still. Androids. Buu. From what I understand, Goku is basically fighting gods now. But he will always beat them. And stronger enemies will come.

For those of you not familiar, perhaps I can present you with another show that suffers from the Goku Complex: Supernatural.

Now don't get me wrong, I love Dragon Ball and DBZ. I love Supernatural. But I had to give up on both after a while.

Supernatural starts with ghosts and wendigo, and vampires. Then a demon. More demons. Angels. Lucifer. Metatron (yeah, riddle me that). Death. God's angst-ridden sister. I'm skipping a lot but it's the same beat. Every enemy has to be stronger than the last. It doesn't end. And it gets old.

Okay so this blurb about me turned into my rant about Superman and Goku.

Sorry.

I'll end this TED Talk here ✌

[messofamess]

Hello, I guess. I'm messofamess. I'm not sure what to call myself for short yet. I'm not comfortable sharing my name, not yet anyway. Maybe someday.

I'm a 24 y/o female.

Aries ♈, for anyone who cares about that. Personally I don't, nobody thinks or believes I'm an Aries anyway.

Not really sure about my preferences. I want love, I don't care about gender so long as we have aligning interests. Still trying to work out if I'm asexual or not.

I was born, raised, and currently live in the US.

Not affiliated with any religion. My personal views are kinda weird.

I suppose I can keep expanding on this as I go, so... That's all for now!

[messofamess]

Guess this marks the start of this journey.

I'd love this to be more than a journal, someday, maybe.

I hope this can enlighten people in some ways.

I have depression and anxiety.

At the very least, I want to use this to look back on my highs and lows, see what I do and try to improve.

But maybe this can show others what this can feel like. To help people understand other people. Maybe break some barriers, bust some myths, and maybe have some questions answered- even for myself.

I'm not an expert. I can't give expert advice. If you need a professional, please get one.

I am just a young lady trying to work shit out. If anyone cares to follow, please do. And while my story may be rather tame compared to...many, I won't be holding back.

Please do not follow this if you are easily triggered by suicide, depression, anxiety, mild sexual themes (not explicit), or my excessive swearing.

Names will be changed for anonymity unless I have express permission from said person to use their real names.

If you're still willing, I welcome you to My Messy Mind.

[messofamess]

Made an icon on Picrew! Artist @sangled Sorry I didn't use a flag or button. Still figuring that out.