mermaidm777

[mermaidm777]

Food for thought on healthy D/s or BDSM relationships….

I think the difference between how I practice my D/s relationships (both as a Domme and as a submissive) and how I I read about them being practiced on Tumblr is becoming more and more clear. It seems like there’s a huge divide between those who only want to engage in what I consider kinky sex or role play of D/s and those who understand the roles — and it’s a fascinating divide.

Words only mean something when they have the accompanying actions. I read a lot about how Doms/Dommes call their subs “good girl/boy,” “princess,” etc., BUT DO YOU TREAT THEM LIKE THAT? Do they feel it?

Do you reward them or show them that in their love language? Do you make it your goal to assuage their fears or anxieties? Do you carve time out of your day to make their lives easier? Do you communicate clearly with them and provide them with structure? Do you provide them with a safe space to express themselves, sexually or emotionally? How can you purport to know what’s best for them if you don’t listen or make yourself aware of their needs?

How can you (consensually) cause pain or degrade someone if they don’t feel that you care about them? How can you establish a bond and a level of trust that allows them to continue to submit, and/or deepen that submission if they don’t feel loved and supported in that role?

Most importantly… How is their submission contributing to a healthy mindset and self improvement? How is your dominance contributing to their betterment?

If you’re not in their life adding to the good or removing the negative, then what the fuck are you doing there? Submissives… you need to ask yourself the same thing. You need to be just as picky with someone to whom you choose to submit.

No matter the context of the relationships in which I’ve engaged, I always ask myself one question. Has my submissive left our encounter feeling satisfied, safe and fulfilled? Have they left our relationship a better person?

…and I always hope the answer is yes.

[mermaidm777]

come to bed and make me your slut again, remind me of my place; underneath your body, all wide open and wet for you to use as you wish

[mermaidm777]

DD is tricky

Last night I wasn’t at my best. He was frustrating me on an important topic (and perhaps not at his best communication-wise either). Things got briefly heated and then we gave each other space for a few minutes.

Although I don’t brat, my behavior definitely fell into the disrespectful category simply out of frustration. Even though he wasn’t perfect in this interaction, I see that I was disrespectful and feel awful about it because my goal is always for him to feel respected and looked up to.

When we reconvened, I said,”I could have done better” and apologized. He did too and hugged me. Later we found ourselves alone in the house and I thought he would address the disrespect (Our NUMBER ONE RULE AND STANDARD) but he didn’t. We were watching a show and he told me he could tell I wanted to say something and that I should say it.

My mind was racing but I said nothing. I wanted him to tell me that that was our least respectful interaction in some time and we’ve both agreed that no matter what, this type of behavior warrants a punishment spanking. I’m not a masochist, and these hurt, but to me our D/s is flat without knowing I’m with a man that believes it’s his place to put me in mine.

I also have trouble forgiving myself after behaving like that and so paying a price for it makes it easier for me to move on. I want him to address it today, but here’s the thing, I REALLY don’t want to have to ask him to address it. Having to tell him that I feel he’s lacking in follow through feels very non-subby to me and that’s not a good feeling either.

Ideally, he’d come home, say he found my behavior unacceptable, put me over his knee for awhile , make it an experience that’s a bit hard to get through, and then tell me I’m absolutely his good girl and I’m forgiven. I think he might be blowing it off because he wasn’t his best either, but I should be able to control my own tongue regardless of my surroundings. That’s a standard I set for myself.

I’m not sure what this evening will hold. I have to decide what would make me feel worse, letting disrespect pass unaccounted for, or bringing up how his lack of follow through affects me.

[mermaidm777]

[mermaidm777]

i love a “i can talk to you abt anything and not feel judged” kind of vibe

[mermaidm777]

Why am I like this.

[mermaidm777]

Yes, you can cum on the chair

[mermaidm777]

Having D/s intertwined in your romantic relationship can make you feel like you have won the lottery and have met your soulmate. The flip side of that is that the heartache of losing both is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

[mermaidm777]

[mermaidm777]

[mermaidm777]

[mermaidm777]

[mermaidm777]

@baby-bunny-girl0314

[mermaidm777]

[mermaidm777]

[mermaidm777]

[mermaidm777]