merc-with-a-damn-mouth-blog

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"Gigantic nipples eh?"

"Huh...."

  "Definitely not about the guy who wants to cut the tips of his nipples each time they grow longer to the point he can use his phone with them."

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spadekeeperwitch said: "Or boobs."

"And booty, don't forget the booty."

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"Aaaah, I just love people with death wishes."

"It brightens my day."

Online

  -Cuts in Line to get Chimichangas- Come at me!

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@thywinterqueen disse: or nipples.

"Well, that's really relative, are we talking about big nipples or tiny ones?"

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Online

"Whazuup! Your favourite mercenary's here!"

"You know,  yesterday, some guy have asked me 'Deadpool, how does it feel to be the most awesome guy ever?' You know what I've said? Nothing, instead I've blown his brains out with a shotgun.

The moral of the story is: Never stay between me and chimichangas."

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Offline

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"You...really believe I'll have a girl that would be willing to stab me in the shower?"

  "I bet someone like that does exist. We have so many lunatics in the world now."

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"You're only saying things I want to hear."

  "I dunno, maybe. She might cook you food and go on a killing spree with you, randomly attack you with a knife in the shower on your birthday."

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Give my muse what you think they deserve.

Be it kind or cruel.

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"Really?" Sniff sniff

"Is she hot?"

  "I’m… sure there’s someone out there for you Deadpool."

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Send a "Will you bare my children?" to see my muse's reaction.

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"You get a nifty uniform, this shiny new scouter and free drinks anywhere in the galaxy. Still not interested?"

"Hm, can I choose the color of my uniform?"

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Someone get a microphone, ‘cause this would be the perfect time to DROP IT!

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"Why nobody loves Deadpool? Is because I kill people at random and my skin looks like KFC chicken?"

  "I uhh… are you crying?"

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"...."

"!"

  "Let me rephrase the question. When was the last time a person kissed you."

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"Does kissing a camel count?"

  "How long has it been since you last got a kiss?"

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"Just happy I still cause this effect on women."

  "You sound like you enjoyed it or something."