memydream-blog1

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Current mood: leave me alone!!

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The sun wore a veil of dancing clouds 😍 (at Tel Aviv, Israel)

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"The sea came to me Will I let it be?"

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Yes! Finally! Life Force! ✨🙏💫😍 #tarotreading #visionquesttarot

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Interesting... ✨💫❤ #tarotreading

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Dating profile- the real one

Sometimes I just feel like creating a dating profile with the all truth: "looking for someone who really likes washing dishes, cleaning and hugs" ����

#datingappsarestupid

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Sitting by the window reading a book. Every few minutes I look up at the sky and whisper: "Come to me rain! Come make some noise of drops splashing on everything. Come play me melodies while I sing you my silly songs. Come wash away thoughts that lost purpose. Come rain. Come!" ☁

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"Home is where the heart is" 💝 #crochet #amigurumi #finished

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got a new feature on my phone: "ok google". so I tried it for a few seconds and then I remembered this and laughed with tears for 10 minutes :D

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Simple food ❤

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The only way out is through! 🍃🌲☁💫💛

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Philosophic morning

Porpase of life: to be the best me that I can be despite challenges and suffering.

Will I take the easy way out or will I open my eyes to see what lies beneath.

You decide every moment of your life whether to learn more about yourself or not.

You decide whether to be there for yourself or not. To listen, to hug, to learn, to carry yourself, your soul, safely to shore. To higher ground.

will you be brave enough to be kind, to be a spectator, to be watching out and for from the side. This is your role. To learn, to hold the broken pieces in your hands. To watch your judgement and to be humble. To keep silence, loneliness, celibacy in an honorable place, cause you won't learn more then they can give you.

After all, the only way out is through.

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Father

I carried you up the hill. You were complaining.

I haven't dreamed of you in years.

You are truly gone. But it feels like you were never here.

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Forever more

Feeling down. Is it the tide or the moon? maybe both or none.

They are always busy. That's another lie.

I stopped counting. There is no point of telling them why. Understanding seems to be trapped in a crystal ball. You can't crack it, just break it. I'm alone forever more, isn't it romantic?

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Starting Again

I need to write. to someone. can’t keep writing to myself. being doing that for far too long! I wish there was a device who could record my thoughts. It would have made this so much easier and fluent. I have no plan, don’t know what to write about. I guess I’ll just have to get back to you.

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הכי אופייני לי: כל השבוע נסחבת עם גקט למקרה שיהיה קר. ביום הכי חורפי שוכחת אותו בבית :/ #קרלי

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Just a theory on autistic people

To me, it seems like autistic people are more reflected than allistic people. The reason why I feel like this can actually be explained with a super long essay, but I’ll just cover the most apparent reasons now.

First of all, autistic people notice that they’re different, whether they’re diagnosed or not. They might not notice right away, but they’ll do at some point. Because of how people react to them - to what they say, how they talk and how they behave. Autistic people will often face huge difficulties in their interaction with the outside world because, in a way, they do not have the same connection to their surroundings as allistic people do.

They say different things because they often lack a sense for what is considered appropriate. They might word things differently, explain or talk about things in long paragraphs with words that are very specifically fixed in their meaning while other people tell/explain the same thing in just a sentence. They’ll probably also show stimming behavior that they can’t control and be mistreated for it.

All of these things, of course, can hardly go unnoticed. Like I stated in the beginning, sooner or later autistic people notice that they’re different. Most of them can’t tell why because of the different connection to the outside world they have.

So they’ll start analyzing their behavior, their thoughts. They’ll search for what exactly about them makes other people bully them, mock them, etc. They’ll try to understand what exactly about them is different. (Bonus points if they’re not diagnosed. Thinking that you’re just like anyone else while you’re not will only lead to further analyzing. Because what about you is it that the world around you detestes so much when you’re just like anybody else? Right?)

Secondly, when telling people about the fact that you’re autistic, they’ll ask lots and lots of questions:

“What’s it like to be autistic?” “How do you experience being autistic?” “What makes you different than other people?”

While of course every person is an individual with an own perspective and experience, these questions are hardly ever directed at someone who is not autistic. No one would ask a neurotypical/allistic person questions like these… I never heard a conversation or have been in a conversation with people who think I’m allistic that went like:

“How is it like to be you?” “How do you experience being yourself?” “How does it feel like to be you, how is it different from being someone else?”

Additionally, autistic people are faced with a lot of stereotypes. I don’t even need to mention any of those, because frankly everyone knows them.

In order to deal with these questions and stereotypes, autistic people need to have the answers. They need to know how to respond, what to say and how to explain why these stereotypes are wrong.

In order to do this, they need to think about themselves. They need to know what makes them different, need to define what being autistic is like for them and how they experience it. And they need to know enough about the entire spectrum in order to shut off stereotypes.