mellodramaticist-blog

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the year is 2023

17-year-old albus severus potter marches into the ministry of magic and legally changes his name to something that isnt so fucking stupid 

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that drunk friend that you have to take care of after the party

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Me!Me!Me! Creators: wow i can’t wait for otaku to see the errors of their ways when they watch this brilliant deconstruction of their lifestyle Me!Me!Me! Viewers: wow i can’t wait to draw one of the blue-haired chicks getting bukkake’d by like twenty dicks

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MUTUAL CONSENT (ﾉ◡‿◡)ﾉ ✧･ﾟ: *

CARING ABOUT EACH OTHER’S PLEASURE (ﾉ◡‿◡)ﾉ ✧･ﾟ: *

EXPLORING EACH OTHER’S KINKS (ﾉ◡‿◡)ﾉ ✧･ﾟ: *

SAFE SEX (ﾉ◡‿◡)ﾉ ✧･ﾟ: *

COMMUNICATION BEFORE SEX (ﾉ◡‿◡)ﾉ ✧･ﾟ: *

COMMUNICATION DURING SEX (ﾉ◡‿◡)ﾉ ✧･ﾟ: *

COMMUNICATION AFTER SEX (ﾉ◡‿◡)ﾉ ✧･ﾟ: *

HEALTHY SEX LIFE (ﾉ◡‿◡)ﾉ ✧･ﾟ: *

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do you have that one friend that just

there is no shame

especially when talking about otps and porn

heck, you even just share the porn with them

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I know I always tell you to practice more, to fight harder, to be more than you are. I’m sorry if that messes you up. It’s just that sometimes I see what you’re doing, and how you’re handling it, and I forget how young you really are. I am trying to remember that.

I know I hover too much....

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Based solely on looks, what goddess/mytholoical figure would you cast me as? (can be any pantheon!)

I need to know for science ——> ?

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At the gate's of Heaven

God: You jacked off HOW MANY TIMES?!

Me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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normal friends: hey i got you a birthday card, happy birthday!

tumblr friends: hey i wrote you an erotic sex scene between your two faves, happy birthday!

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me: i need to sleep

me: *masturbates*

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"By stripping, you’ve taken the easy way out!" Oh, really? Okay. In that case, I challenge you to enter a room full of men and separate them from your rent. Tonight. Within eight hours. Remember—strippers don’t get paychecks, and every dime you make must be personally hustled. I challenge you to make this money while being only one among dozens of other attractive women hustling for the exact same dollars. I challenge you to have the same charming conversation eighty times over the course of eight hours with increasingly drunk and nasty customers. I challenge you to make yourself seem like eighty different men’s exact fantasy eighty different times in eight hours at $10 a pop. I challenge you to work in a field where your very body is the product you sell, and yet still keep a loving self-image (among other things, I was recently told that my breasts are not “real breasts” because they are “small and ugly”). I challenge you to listen to such misogynistic venom throughout the night that you find yourself clutching your steering wheel on the four a.m. drive home sputtering ” fuck you, fuck you” to the silent darkness of the night. I challenge you to understand that, even though you’re socking away money so your family can have a better future—when the world finds out what you do, you are to them only a “bad mother,” a “bad wife.” I challenge you to be a “dumb slut” in the eyes of the world when your heart is beating with brilliance and art. "Taking the easy way out," huh? Okay. I challenge you to be a stripper.

-Lux ATL (via ellestanger)

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This won���t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!

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WHEN MY FRIEND GETS SLOPPY DRUNK AND I HAVE TO DELIVER HER TO HER BOYFRIEND

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I would just like to say fuck you to everyone who made me feel inadequate growing up and ruining my self esteem for years. You all suck and I’m glad I don’t talk to any of you any more.