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Nikita Gill, from Your Heart is the Sea: Poems; "Just Get Over It," originally published in 2018

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- Mandeq Ahmed, 'Ocean of Tears'

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“In a 1994 Harvard study that examined people who had radically changed their lives, for instance, researchers found that some people had remade their habits after a personal tragedy, such as a divorce or a life-threatening illness. Others changed after they saw a friend go through something awful, the same way that Dungy’s players watched him struggle.

Just as frequently, however, there was no tragedy that preceded people’s transformations. Rather, they changed because they were embedded in social groups that made change easier. One woman said her entire life shifted when she signed up for a psychology class and met a wonderful group. “It opened a Pandora’s box,” the woman told researchers. “I could not tolerate the status quo any longer. I had changed in my core.” Another man said that he found new friends among whom he could practice being gregarious. “When I do make the effort to overcome my shyness, I feel that it is not really me acting, that it’s someone else,” he said. But by practicing with his new group, it stopped feeling like acting. He started to believe he wasn’t shy, and then, eventually, he wasn’t anymore. When people join groups where change seems possible, the potential for that change to occur becomes more real. For most people who overhaul their lives, there are no seminal moments or life-altering disasters. There are simply communities⏤sometimes of just one other person⏤who make change believable.

One woman told researchers her life transformed after a day spent cleaning toilets⏤and after weeks of discussing with the rest of the cleaning crew whether she should leave her husband.

“Change occurs among other people,” one of the psychologists involved in the study, Todd Heatherton, told me. “It seems real when we can see it in other people’s eyes.”

The precise mechanisms of belief are little understood. No one is certain why a group encountered in a psychology class can convince a woman that everything is different, or why Dungy’s team came together after their coach’s son passed away. Plenty of people talk to friends about unhappy marriages and never leave their spouse; lots of teams watch their coaches experience adversity and never gel. 

But we do know that for habits to permanently change, people must believe that change is feasible. The same process that makes AA so effective⏤the power of a group to teach individuals how to believe⏤happens whenever people come together to help one another change. Belief is easier when it occurs within a community.”

⏤ The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg

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Today I read a quote that says,

"if a goodbye hurts, it means you spent your time well."

So if I ever cross your mind, however brief, I hope it's a passing that lightens your heart with a benevolent smile. And if not, please forgive me...

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Angela Carter, from The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories; “The Erl-King,”

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Velimir Khlebnikov, from The Collected Works of Velimir Khlebnikov; “Lyrics,”

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Lately, I really have to get myself together to say goodbyes to some people I love or loved. Some I never get a chance to see again, some I wish I hadn't met before, some I know we may encounter but not in the same way. Still asking why would it happen. Why does encountering always blooms lovely but then all of this by all means comes to an end eventually?

Knowing that saying goodbye to loved ones is inevitable and still counting the number of them leaving me in each and every milestone in my life really hurts. It hurts me a lot. Being in it while growing up almost takes my breath. Still trying to guess how I can get used enough for this kind of pain. It is not the person or the relationship that I could not move on from, it is the pain that I could never get over. This, indeed, is the trick played by God. I learned that it might be the fate that pulls us together in the first place, but then, it is our minds or how we decide to treat others that leads us to drifting away from them. Choosing to leave or stay is no God's choice at all, most of the time.

For that, I have to say that those who walked out of my life left many of their fingerprints in me and also placed in me a void that has been casting a shadow on my mind. Breaking my heart so many times. Leaving me in tears for ages. Yet, I still want to fight back every time those waves of feelings hit me hard. For some reasons, I can't let it be.

For those who are still there for me, please stay with me a little longer while you can. Your feeling, caring acts, your love truly matter to me.

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Chẳng ai biết lần gặp cuối cùng giữa chúng ta là khi nào...

Có những người muốn gặp phải ngồi máy bay.

Cũng có những người muốn nhìn thấy lần nữa phải ngồi cỗ máy thời gian để quay về quá khứ

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let me be your coffee

for you won't find anything

tastier than me.

and I promise

to turn your wake up

into a beautiful

sleepless night.

--- h.harouche

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It's my 8 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

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"Dĩ nhiên, sẽ tuyệt vời biết bao nếu ta xác định được mục đích hay mục tiêu trong đời và rồi chinh phục được nó. Nhưng mong bạn hãy hiểu rằng dù không đạt được bất cứ thành tựu nào đi chăng nữa, sự tuyệt vời của sự sống cũng vẫn vẹn nguyên.

Chỉ riêng việc "sống" đã có nghĩa là đang đấu tranh với rất nhiều thứ, đang nỗ lực hết sức để bảo vệ chính mình, đồng thời đang thích nghi, hòa hợp cùng thiên nhiên và môi trường xung quanh. Hãy trân trọng sự kiên cường của sự sống!"

- Chỉ sống thôi là đã đủ tuyệt vời | Itsuki Hiroyuki

Artwork by mi_na_ha_mu

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Khổ hạnh, buồn đau, vui sướng nào cũng nhẹ như mây trời.

“ Đến một độ tuổi nào đó, người ta chẳng thể làm gì khác hơn ngoài sự im lặng. Buồn bã cũng im lặng, hân hoan cũng im lặng.

Thi thoảng chỉ muốn ngồi một góc quán quen, thấy khổ hạnh nào rồi cũng nhẹ nhàng như mây trời. “

- L.Y 1 kitesquotes

Artwork by @mahaoey [IG]

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~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

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