medikrieg

[medikrieg]

im alive??? im alive, nearly

[medikrieg]

(´• ω •`) 

[medikrieg]

why would i fuck a demon? simple, the status. imagine rolling up into hell already havin had ur back blown out by one of their own. imagine you and a gang of other losers standin at the gates of hell, they’re all crying, scared to death about having a pitchfork up their ass for eternity and you just walk into the arms of your sugar demon? legendary.

[medikrieg]

femgineeris‌.

Getting down from the ladder, Engie examined the blueprints. She was impressed. Doc must have really been working hard. It had significantly more detail about how the medi- fumes interact with the anti-fumes, and, while still having the same overall design, it was clear changes were made in the system.

Turning it over she even found the small drawing of a dick Scout somehow managed to put on all the important documents.She suspects it may actually be Spy.

“Sure thing Doc! Can’t say i haven’t been excited bout this myself.”

“Wunderbar!”  Medic claps his hands together in delight, and though he had already been assured of Engineer’s reliability as far as being a partner in science went, her amiability and easy agreeability only further solidified his respect and genuine appreciation for her. “Let’s get started right away then, shall we? We will need a volunteer, of course ... If it’s someone from BLU, we will have to wait until we are out on the field, sadly...Though it would yield better results, I think!”

[medikrieg]

talariis‌:

【 Ｌｅｔ＇ｓ ｗａｓｔｅ ＇ｅｍ！】

Scout quietly listened as the Doctor rambled on. It was odd, really — everyone would endlessly say how Scout never quieted down or would stop talking. It was almost as if no one had caught Medic when he was pulled deep within subjects of his domain, talking about topic after topic of the strangest creations and beings of biology. Maybe it was out of respect — maybe people were simply too afraid of the good doctor to call this out on him. Either way, Scout was experiencing the Medic’s talkative side at that very moment and he found himself quiet and fascinated, if not, a bit worried and grossed out as well, by his every word. The story about the lungs themselves was rather mild compared to what followed next. As medic continued on about the Fitzroy River turtle, Scout could nearly feel the wheels and cogs turn around in his mind. Readjusting his grip on the cooler with the lungs, he glared at Medic with a mix between shock and morbid curiosity.         ❝ Wait, hold up. Turtles breathe through their vaginas? Are you serious? Mother nature is fuckin’ crazy! ❞

Medic fell silent, and in the aftermath of Scout’s shout of ‘realization’, only the quiet coos of doves were heard in the medical bay. Medic, on the other hand, stared hard at Scout. For a moment, it almost seemed as if he were mad or unimpressed with how he raised an eyebrow, but instead of groaning in disapproval or annoyance, after a moment Medic gave a bark of laughter at the boy’s ignorance. “Nein. That is not what where the cloaca is located.” he said, and gave Scout a bemused look from over his glasses.  “Herr Scout, I sincerely hope you haven’t been with any women, otherwise I would be extremely worried about how exactly you think things work.”  Chuckling still, Medic shook his head. “No. The cloaca is the opening not for the female genitals, but for the digestive, reproductive and urinary tracts. To put it simply...” Medic adjusted his glasses, and gave a wide, innocuous smile. “It is their butthole.”

[medikrieg]

medics debating

[medikrieg]

redheav‌.

“Appendix.” The Russian mumbled the word to himself, committing it to memory. While he often didn’t ask what Medic’s plans were in surgery, it was sometimes nice to know. Not that the organ’s name meant a whole lot to him. 

He stared up at the doctor as his shoulder was patted. It was oddly comforting, despite Heavy knowing full well how Medic’s surgeries often went.

“Alright.” He rumbled, beginning to stand with a hand still hovering over his stomach. The same slicing pain started in his abdomen as he moved, so he stayed slow. Slower than usual.

When he was standing stable–and no longer feeling like his intestines were wielding knives–the Russian squared his shoulders and looked down at Medic, taking a deep breath in preparation for what came next.

“What do you need Heavy to do?” 

“Yes. It’s quite a small organ, but it can swell up with pus and fluid when inflamed and cause serious issues. In fact, even if it isn’t appendicitis, we may as well remove it anyway while we’re here and get that possibility out of the way...! You won’t miss it, I assure you.” Medic took a step back, offering a steadying hand only on Heavy���s shoulder blade as the other man gingerly got up.

“Well ... I would need you to lay back down again, if you could.”  Medic said, a little amused. He knew it wasn’t something that the Heavy was looking forward to -- given how much pain he was in -- but it was necessary. “Unless you are fine with all of your insides ending up on the outside, specifically the floor, then I won’t stop you, but personally, I would recommend against it. I keep my floors clean but still, they are quite filthy to have your guts and intestines come in contact with,” 

With that, Medic began moving around the room, gathering up the necessary supplies and wheeling the metal cart around to the side he would be operating on, whistling a tune softly. He only paused once he remembered something important, and turned around. “Would you like local or general anesthesia?”

[medikrieg]

someone: don’t me: ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

[medikrieg]

running-in-blind‌.

Blue eyes watched as the Medic prepared himself for death, not that the older man was giving up, it was more like he just wanted to get this over and done with so that he could respawn and be back with his team, Scott could only feel pity for this man. That might have been the deciding factor on why the Scout rolled the bottle over to that man.

A single brow quirked up at the others rather ungrateful reaction but he had to react like he hadn’t intended to, best to now outwardly show that you are helping the enemy, so the Bostonian winced and grabbed his injured arm as he acted like it hurt a lot more than it actually did.

“aw c-crap… er… naw I… uh… totally meant ta do dat!” he said with slight desperation to his voice as he backed up a little, acting like he was scared of what the other would do, honestly Scott knew he could outrun the Medic so he wasn’t overly scared, but there was still that quiet voice in the back of his head that was reminding him of what Medics could do with just their bonesaw alone which helped him sell the act.

"Ja, right, sure you did! And I’m sure you meant to get that wound as well?” Medic drawled mockingly, sarcasm dripping from his words. He even let out a bark of laughter at the thought. Meant to drop the health bottle? HAH! Please! He wasn’t born yesterday. Who did this Scout take him for? Another Scout? Please. His courage and confidence had come back along with his health and energy, and he took a large step forward, a menacing look in his eyes. Oh, when he was done with this Scout ... He would be lucky to respawn! His grip tightening on his ubersaw, a soft chuckle dropping from his lips, and Medic could feel the bloodthirst start to rise ... when the sound of the battle outside reached his ears, and he was faced with a difficult (but not at all unfamiliar) dilemma. He could stay and possibly kill the Scout ... or he could go back and support his team. 

Medic let out an annoyed grumble, eyes narrowing as he took a step back instead.  “Don’t think you are so lucky!” he called out, even as he continued to make his way to the door -- facing Scout still, but taking glances over his shoulder just in case another enemy tried to sneak up on him. “The next time I see you, you are DEAD! Whether by my hands or the man I am healing!”

[medikrieg]

rcdpyro‌.

The call halts them mid stride, one leg swinging forward as they suddenly freeze their movement. The blank mask tilts in his direction so that the tinted lenses can attempt to search for his motive. If there was something that Pyro had learnt after all these years, it was that while Medic was on their team; there was something inherently off about him. 

Still, the firebug heeds his beckoning and approaches, peering down at the stove. 

* Ah, that’s a problem… If it uses propane tanks, I might have a spare somewhere.

Medic pauses and blinks, looking -- for once -- cowed. He turns his head to eye the stove, feeling the tips of his ears turn red from discomfiture at his lack of knowledge on the subject. Not that he was about to let Pyro (or anyone, really) in on that, oh no ... He cleared his throat instead.  “Ah... Yes, right ... Well, let’s see then.” He offers up a smile, and gestures Pyro towards the stove. Part of him is still unsure whether he wants the other man close to the apparatus --- is unsure whether he wants to be close to Pyro near the stove --- but what must be done must be done ... “Would you like to take a look? Perhaps you would be able to tell better...”

[medikrieg]

i like how i come back to asks about nipples and dicks, both from scouts

[medikrieg]

"Have you ever gotten your dick stuck on your lab coat?"

“Herr Scout … are you implying that my penis is that big? Although I think the real question here is why it’s on your mind.  

 However, seeing as I would much rather not know, I think you should leave instead. (that is not a suggestion.)”

[medikrieg]

‘ oh my god you have to stop using the word ‘nipple.’ ’

PARKS & RECREATION SENTENCE STARTERS. // CLOSED.

“Are you a grown man or some fünfzehn jahre alt who snuck his way onto the battlefield and is hearing the world nipple for the first time in his life? A word of advice for you ... GROW UP!”

[medikrieg]

Sneaks on here real quick to remind everyone to vote if you're able to!

[medikrieg]

disputatiousnurse‌.

“ Might I ask why you refer to such services?” “ You seem like the type to enjoy such things!”

“Enjoy what? Picking people’s brains? Only literally. Otherwise it is far too boring for my tastes.”

[medikrieg]

Something I had to make after chatting with my roommate.

[medikrieg]

@disputatiousnurse.

“ Aren’t you a proffessional?”

@medikrieg

“No. Not that kind of professional. What I suggest you seek is more along the psychological side.”