medievalwarlord

[medievalwarlord]

the first person to turn an apple to sauce... what hubris. no other fruit gets this treatment. well, except for the wretched tomato. but that's a punishment, because the tomato is morally corrupt.

[medievalwarlord]

the divine exists to be first sexualised and secondly cannibalised

[medievalwarlord]

100% of armies rout when they see the imposing form of my mutant war-butler cresting the horizon like a muscular sunrise

[medievalwarlord]

antique collars + muzzles

(sources 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 + 6)

[medievalwarlord]

Fun fact but according to historians, tamagotchi were a popular commodity for noble ladies in the 14th century

[medievalwarlord]

pikemen

[medievalwarlord]

my liege we your council would not advise this course of action but we all agree it would be pretty funny regardless

[medievalwarlord]

What was the cost of a warhorse in medieval England? About as expensive as it is today, really...

[medievalwarlord]

cat: I will just hang out on your lap now me: yay cat: I have brought ten knives

[medievalwarlord]

whoever keeps shooting rusty chains with hooks at me from the darkness STOP

[medievalwarlord]

| :/ | That’s me falling toward a spike | | pit, with kind of an air of irritation |↑↑↑↑↑↑| about it. Sighh

[medievalwarlord]

does anyone else's android phone keep trying to persuade them to send a big scary crying cyclops with every text

[medievalwarlord]

Skull of St. Thomas Aquinas being transported to Fossanova Abbey. Photograph by Daniel Ibanez, 2024

[medievalwarlord]

[medievalwarlord]

heartwarming: watch this giant animated statue squeeze all the blood out of four foot soldiers at once

[medievalwarlord]

The Knight is a bit weird under his armor. I would say that's it's not even an armor but a chitinous shell

[medievalwarlord]

Women only want one thing and it's the heads of their enemies on spikes, hope that helps