mcxsteamy

[mcxsteamy]

so i am still alive, promise. it was a week, work’s been hella busy, and i spent some time just away from my laptop when i got home this week, sooo replied will come v soon !  

[mcxsteamy]

hi everyone, so as some of you know I’m a little strapped for cash this summer. as such, I’m currently toying around with the idea of doing commissions. however, I want to make sure I offer the kinds of services people are looking for in the rpc. I’ve put together a short little survey for people to fill out. it should take no less than a few minutes to go through and is completely anonymous. however if you provide your url in the last question + give this post a reblog you could be eligible to win one of these prizes via a draw ( since I want to build up my portfiolio as well. )

one lucky winner will win - a complete graphics theme makeover ( this includes a new background + a new promo graphic + a set of 50 icons of an fc of their choosing + 25% discount on a purchase of $10 or more if/when they make a purchase when commissions go live  ) two lucky winners will win - a promo graphic + a set of 25 icons (  + 20% discount on a purchase of $15 or more if/when they make a purchase when commissions go live )

three lucky winners will win - a background graphic ( gif or static + 15% discount on a purchase of $15 or more if/when they make a purchase when commissions go live )

you do not need to be following me in order to be eligible to win please just fill out the survey here, enter your url, & reblog this post. the draw will happen on april 25th, 2019 at 12:00 PM EST

[mcxsteamy]

OUT OF SURGERY; sadly my long weekend off work it over, i spend most of today out enjoying the sunshine, so i didn’t get a lot of replies done ! gonna work on those tomorrow as it stands i currently owe: SIX memes, FOUR starters, and FOUR threads... which will start tomorrow !  i also just wanted to say THANK YOU GREY’S FAM for welcoming my ass back after a three fucking year hiatus ! feels good to be back writing my OG man whore !  ~ xoxo 

[mcxsteamy]

❛ i’m difficult to forget and not easy for the mind to follow. ❜

MILK  &  HONEY STARTERS | accepting | from: @doctcrisms​ ( based loosely off an old verse of ours~ )

         WAS SHE SERIOUS? this poetic bullshit, like it someone made up for the fact she’d been GONE for five years. Without a word; without so much as a goodbye. Like they had meant nothing; like they had been nothing. He swallows thick, mind rushing to catch up, face to face with her after so long. Phone calls unanswered, text messages ignored, he hadn’t know it was possible for a human being just to vanish -- but she had.  It was his fault more that he wanted to ADMIT -- the part he played in pushing her away. But that hadn’t made it any easier a pill to swallow. 

           “ cut the crap --- you think some poetic proverb crap makes everything FINE -- so what? you got bored and just showed up, like nothing happened -- YOU LEFT ME ” bitter he spits, and there is the undertone in what he doesn’t say that he wishes she hadn’t came back. 

          A lot had happened since she left; Sofia was in school now, she wouldn’t even REMEMBER Izzy anymore, it wasn’t as if Mark still spoke of her. Her name no longer passed his lips, his initial worry and concern turned into bitterness and anger. He knew she was safe; Webber promised him that much.           “ you’re DAMN RIGHT you’re difficult to forget ” swallowing thick, hands shoved deep into his pockets,  memories flooding his senses, he’d will them away if he could, pretend like this wasn’t affecting him; like he HADN’T loved her. 

              “ what the hell are you even doing here, Iz? ” was she back? for good? 

[mcxsteamy]

MILK  &  HONEY                POETRY  RP  STARTERS  BY  RUPI  KAUR. PART 1.   FEEL  FREE  TO  MODIFY  PRONOUNS.

❛    we  are  capable  of  love  but  choose  to  be  toxic.   ❜  ❛    you  have  a  sadness  living  in  places  sadness  shouldn’t  live. ❜ ❛    i’m  difficult  to  forget  and  not  easy  for  the  mind  to  follow.  ❜ ❛    you  are  a  war.   ❜      ❛    every  revolution  starts  and  ends  with  his  lips.   ❜ ❛    the  truth  is..  you  make  me  speechless  ❜ ❛    he  makes  my  tongue  so  weak  it  forgets  what  language  to  speak  in.  ❜ ❛    what  drives  you  crazy?  what  keeps  you  up  at  night?  ❜ ❛    so  that’s  what  you  do..  you  command  attention.  ❜ ❛    you  look  like  you  smell  of  honey  and  no  pain.  ❜       ❛    i  always  get  myself  into  this  mess.  ❜ ❛    i’m  a  dreamer  and  that  will  be  the  death  of  me.  ❜ ❛    you  were  so  distant.  i  forgot  you  were  there  at  all.  ❜ ❛    don’t  mistake  salt  for  sugar.  if  he  wants  to  be  with  you.. he will.  ❜        ❛    you  were  temptingly  beautiful       but  stung  when  i  got  too  close.  ❜ ❛    don’t  come  here  with  expectations  and  try  to  make  a  vacation  out  of  me.  ❜ ❛    the  thing  worth  holding  on  would  of  never  let  go.  ❜ ❛    love  made  the  danger  in  you  look  like  safety.  ❜ ❛    i  don’t  grieve..  i  shatter.  ❜        ❛    when  i’m  angry,  i  don’t  yell        i  burn.  ❜ ❛    we  began  with  honesty.  let  us  end  in  it,  too.  ❜ ❛    your  voice  alone  drives  me  to  tears.  ❜ ❛    like  a ��broken  promise..  let  it  go.  ❜ ❛    our  backs  tell  stories  no  books  have  have  the  spine  to  carry.  ❜   ❛    you  were  a  dragon  long  before  he  came  around  and  said  you  could  fly.  you  will  remain  a  dragon  long  after  he’s  left.  ❜ ❛    the  world  gives  you  so  much  pain,  and  here  you  are  making  gold  out  of  it.  ❜      ❛    you  split  me  open  in  the  most  honest  way  there  is.  ❜

[mcxsteamy]

doctcrisms‌:

( @mcxsteamy continued from x. )

“ some of us have actual jobs to do, sloan. ”  just because it was quiet now didn’t mean it was going to stay that way. in fact, she was half-hoping for a trauma to come through the double doors and rescue her from this conversation. she knows the consequences of messing with mark sloan of all people, but she doesn’t quite know better yet. besides, she wasn’t lying; she missed sex and all of his overt flirting wasn’t helping matters. it would be so easy just to say yes…

izzy just refused to be yet another name scratched off whatever mental list he kept of women that worked in the hospital. heck, it was probably a tangible list by now with the chief instigating that new policy to disclose who employees were involved with. besides, if anyone was going to eventually cave and make a serious proposition, it would be him. men fell for her, not the other way around. 

“ go bother a scrub nurse—or wait, are they still boycotting you? ”

             “ funny -- all  you do down here is suture up badly and give out Tylenol~ if you call that working hard --” looking for a bite, he’s playing of course, and she knows it -- but that friendly rivalry between the ER and Surgery coming out. Hell, he remembered his ER rotation in med school, toughest few months of his whole schooling, but he wouldn’t willingly admit that. Despite his playfully belittling he had respect for the ER staff, and just how demanding their jobs were.

               a playful pout when she denied him, “ you don’t know what you’re missing, Cassidy, you wouldn’t be able to walk straight after a little on call  with Dr Sloan. ” that coy grin painted. Of course he wasn’t serious, was he? -- they were friends, this back and forth flirting didn’t really mean anything... so he told himself. 

            “ that was ONE TIME ! ” as if the entire surgical nursing staff boycotting him once somehow made it any better. “ BESIDES --  takes one to know one, Cassidy, i bet your list isn’t that much shorter -- ” he winked, tongue running the length of his lip, because these walls talked, and Izzy was ANYTHING  but a little wall flower.  AND still she wouldn’t cave to his advances. 

[mcxsteamy]

[mcxsteamy]

@southsidelover​ gets a starter! 

           FRESH MEAT. Another year meant a another wave of fresh faced optimistic surgical interns, half of them would drop to an easier major by the end of their intern year, Mark paid little attention to them, until he had too -- his newest recruits, a rag-tag team of 5 of Seattle Graces’ finest -- according to Bailey, that would remain to be seen, he’d already caught one of them taking a selfie outside the OR, was that really the future of medicine -- god help us all. 

         One in particular Mark did take a particular shine too, TONI TOPAZ -- she’s a fetus Mark, dirty, no! Meredith had scolded him one night in Joe’s as he’s eye’d her from across the room.  And to Mark surprise she wasn’t a TOTAL moron either, always the first to answer his questions, even the left field ones on rounds. 

        “ one of you get to scrub in with me in a partial thyroidectomy, Wilson  -- you’re out, maybe next time you’ll get your OR selfies -- Topaz, you’re in -- HERE ”  ipad with Mrs Ericson’s chart thrust at the young intern, expected to know it inside out by the time surgery rolled around in a few hours., “-- surgery is at 2PM, i expect Mrs Ericson to be prepped and ready to go up at 1.30, hope you don’t have any big plans with  your boyfriend tonight, you’ll be monitoring her post op check’s tonight -- ” that nonchalant smile, as if he was doing her a favour -- which he was, kind of.  But it wasn’t her pretty face alone  that landed her a spot in his OR, she was smart, quick, she worked harder than the rest of her group, and she’d never been late to his rounds in the three weeks since she’d been on his service. The same could not be said some for some the other. 

          “ that doesn’t interfere with your social calendar now, does it Topaz?” coy grin forming on the corners of his mouth as the walk to the patient in questions room.

[mcxsteamy]

             New York felt lonely without her; without Derek -- but those bridges burned, left alone again.  He should have KNOWN she’d choose Derek again, always second choice -- the wild card; flight risk. He knew and so did she. WE COULD BE HAPPY ADDISON -- he told her, in bed one night, wistful day dreams playing out what their life could look like. 

              A happiness he’d never known ignighten in him the day she flashed him that little white stick with two pink lines. PREGNANT. He’d rushed out the next day, came home with the worlds tiniest Yankees onesie gotta start them young  he told her bright eyed, smiling ear to ear. 

             But she choose Derek. She choose Seattle. He came back to New York, back to the practice they’d build, a life that no longer felt like his. Work, sleep, repeat. 

             Grumbling when the buzzer went, who the hell was at his door? His apartment a wash of take out boxes and half empty bottles of scotch, unlike the perfectionist that he was -- sporting more than a little bit of a five o’clock shadow, clad in scruffy ( for Mark, still designer of course ) joggers and no shirt, a sigh as he opens the door, taken a back to find Addison. 

       “ Addison? --” he doesn’t even notice the onesie at first, confusion evident on his features,  “ what are you doing here? you’re suppose to be in Seattle ---”  until his eyes find the onesie, shit -- “ is that --- i thought -- you’re keeping the baby? --” a lump forming in his throat, a smile stretching on his lips, was this REALLY happening? 

         “ is this --- are you SERIOUS? ”

@mcxsteamy gets some FEELS

    It had started raining. Rain in New York wasn´t uncommon, not even in summer, but luckily it wasn´t COLD. 

    Not that Addison would have noticed anything. Ever since she had left the house and followed Derek to Seattle she hadn´t been in her former home and while Derek and her had settled to eventually split the houses she was going to go back and get get her things. But that WASN´T the reason she´d been here.

    It was all still where she had left it. There were even still two empty glasses on the kitchen table where Mark and her had sat and had the talk that had made Addison go and chase after DEREK.

    But it didn´t matter now. What Addison was looking for she had already found and picked up from the upstairs closet. She hadn´t thought that she´d ever see it again, but then again LIFE had strange ways of playing out.

    She made the way to Mark´s apartment by foot. She didn´t even know if he´d be THERE, but Addison would wait if necessary. With her hair sticking to her face she was greeted by the same old doorman, who let her up to his floor immediately. 

    With her heart POUNDING in her chest she raised a hand to knock on the door and when she heard footsteps she almost held her breath.

    “Hey.” She eventually managed as HIS face came into view, her other hand raised, holding up the Yankee´s onsie.

[mcxsteamy]

old af graphic i made years ago, but still very mark sloan.

[mcxsteamy]

@mcmachine gets a starter !

               “ so Nate and Eva have started this new neat trick of conspiring against dad using some kinda freaky twin telepathy -- like is that a thing? i knew people joke about it -- but seriously, it’s like having two tiny, adorable little freaking demons living under my roof -- you got all this to look forward to, Kepner ” Mark,laughs, god knows he adores his kids; adores being a father, but whoever said twins was easy was a goddamned liar. 

              Two sets of twins to two best friends, certainly wasn’t the craziest thing to happen around here. “how’s my little guy’s doing today?” still a sucker for babies, and the twins are still so small, makes his broody if he’s honest -- especially with his own babies starting school this year, something he’s avoiding thinking about until it happens. 

[mcxsteamy]

if y’all wanna send me prompts or questions for headcanon’s i would not be mad !  it’s legit been three years since i wrote my man, so any little mark-isms would be appreciated ! 

[mcxsteamy]

@slahtiz gets a slexie Easter starter! 

             The house was filled with Easter madness anywhere you looked, bunny rabbits and colourful egg decorations hanging everywhere, with more candy that humanly possible to eat -- 12 treats each is more than enough Mark!  but of course he didn’t listen, sneak it an extra dozen at least when Lexie wasn’t looking, denying all knowledge with a cheeky grin when they got to the register, that smile got him away with so much even after almost seven years of marriage. 

              Sofia, Nate & Eva emboss on each of their baskets, in each of the children’s favourite colour, coffee cup in hand, it was only 6.30AM and there was absolutely no way Sofia would be awake for at least another hour. “Maybe we can just wake them -- i mean it is Easter” he grins, he is more excited than the kids, forever a big kid, even at fifty years young ( a touchy subject he didn’t like reminded of! ).

           “ it’s not like they haven’t woke us up --” winking as she got up from his seat, coffee cup set on the table, coming up behind Lexie, hands slipping around her waist, face nuzzling in the crook of her neck, messy brunette waves falling around her face, “unless --- you wanna take advantage of the fact the kids are still sleeping.” only half joking, he laughs softy against her ear, kissing her cheek. 

[mcxsteamy]

OUT OF SURGERY; you can’t tell me that today, Easter Sunday, Mark didn’t get up super early before the twins and Sofia ( yes Slexie have twins sue me ) and left out there matching baskets with each of the kids names of them, and planted around the house and garden waaaaay more easter eggs and treat that’s momma Lex sanctioned him too, and of course he got her the biggest fucking Reese’s cup’s egg he could find, because he knows his wife okay ! and after he was done, loitered outside the kids rooms willing them to wake up so the Easter fun could begin... this has been your slexie headcanon for Easter Sunday, you are welcome ~ kisses

[mcxsteamy]

don’t ship with me bc if i know you do angst then i’ll literally hurt you on purpose and then laugh about it

[mcxsteamy]

OUT OF SURGERY; what kills me about mark is, he comes across as this huge egotistical narcissist, and don’t get me wrong, he can be, he really can be. but really, when it comes down to it he loves so deeply and so hard he just doesn’t know what to do with it. he was never loved by his parents, not really -- they were too busy to care for him, so early on he developed this sense of self righteous fuck the world  i can do anything, it’s the attitude that got him through med school, that saw his career soar, but it’s also the attitude that ruins his happiness. see, he has this deep rooted fear of abandonment, of not being good enough, or worthy of love that he self sabotages every good thing he ever touches.  and honestly, it breaks my fucking heart to think about. 

[mcxsteamy]

@tranquilwords​ gets a post 3.11 private practice based starter ! 

            He made it all the way to the airport, checked in, made it through security, into the departures lounge when it hit him; WHAT THE HELL was he doing? it had always been Addison, time and circumstance always against them, part of it that deep rooted fear that he just wasn’t meant to be happy  -- that he was never truly worthy of love. Curse his parents, the damage done years before, a life time of searching for love in the beds of nameless women, but it was safer that way, wasn’t it? 

             THIS WAS TERRIFYING. standing at her front door, no idea what the hell he was going to say, but SOMETHING stopped him getting on that plane, her words played on repeat the whole drive over. 

                          if you’re serious, if this is about me, then ask me again.  

             She had been ALL he’d wanted for so long; he’d followed her to Seattle, desperate to win her back, in spite of the baby she aborted; their baby -- and he could have gotten past it, because she was worth it, She���d ALWAYS been worth it. He was just scared to say that out loud, especially after he watched her walk out an on call room with Alex Karev more than half way through their SIXTY DAY no sex pact.  

           He waited, what left like hours, he could hear her inside, the key turning in the door, swallowing thick, his mind rushing, a coy grin painted when the door opens, she’d probably wondering what the hell he’d doing here, he should be half way back to Seattle by now. 

                     “ what if i was serious, what if i did ask you again, Red? ”