mcbuttslut

[mcbuttslut]

oh

[mcbuttslut]

i’m in love with these terrible dogs

[mcbuttslut]

[mcbuttslut]

Forbidden spaghetti and guacamole

[mcbuttslut]

[mcbuttslut]

my wife: actively pushing out our baby

me: holding my phone with cafeastrology[dot]com open in the browser and staring at the clock, ready to calculate its birth chart any minute now

[mcbuttslut]

Paid parking at hospitals is extortion and should be illegal

[mcbuttslut]

[mcbuttslut]

I have the ability to speak to shrimps (Shrimpathy). unfortunately this does not allow them to respond or understand what im saying

[mcbuttslut]

rare snepe (snail pepe)

[mcbuttslut]

its insane how if you want a little animal can live with you

[mcbuttslut]

one day we’re gonna have to talk about the implications of referring to girls as young as 12/13 as “young women” and referring to men in their 20s as “boys”

[mcbuttslut]

[mcbuttslut]

Say it louder.

[mcbuttslut]

Hey what the fuck

[mcbuttslut]

Instructions on Food: Cook 20-24 minutes.

Me: Using my Superior Intellect, I have deduced that the Optimal Cooking Time is precisely… 22 minutes. 

[mcbuttslut]

Whenever you have sleep paralysis that’s just a gnome using magic to keep you still while he rummages through your pantry