mazerunnerfanatic - Tumblr blog

[mazerunnerfanatic]

Shared Trauma

Pairing: Thomas × Brenda (Also Platonic!Newtmas)

Universe: Movies

A snarl. The swipe of a knife.

"Newt! Please!" Thomas's throat is raw, tears filling his eyes. He's so scared, terrified for his friend and of what he's become.

There's nothing behind his eyes anymore, just pools of black tar that replace the chocolate brown they used to be.

His friend-turned-Crank stumbles forward, swiping at him again.

Swipe

Swipe - Shink!

The sound was sickening to Thomas, even more so when Newt goes still against him, wide-eyed and staring blankly. When his friend collapses to the ground, Thomas shoots up.

His skin is coated in a thin layer of sweat, chest heaving. He looks around the room lit by faint moonlight, fingers tightly gripping the sheets twisted around him. He takes deep breaths to try and draw himself back into reality.

It wasn't real. Just a dream, just a nightmare.

Just a memory.

The memory that keeps Thomas up at night, the memory that hangs on him like an anchor, keeping him pulled taut between blaming himself and blaming WCKD. Where to aim his grief at, his anger, his pain.

He's drawn from his thoughts when a warm hand rests against his forearm, causing him to look over. The person next to him shifts to rest on her side. She rubs her thumb over his arm.

"Hey," Brenda says softly.

Thomas inhales quietly, swallowing.

"...Hey," he whispers back.

She looks over his face for a moment or two before her eyes drift to the arm she's rubbing. She's so quiet that if it weren't for the shifting of her thumb on his arm, he'd have assumed she'd fallen back asleep.

"The Nightmare again?" There's no judgement in her voice, no irritation or annoyance, despite the constant torment that Thomas experiences at the hands of the Nightmare.

Thomas nods quietly. Brenda just sighs. No more words could be said now, nothing of use anyways. She'd run out of ways to tell him it wasn't his fault, so much so that he could hear her saying them anytime he thought about Newt.

Brenda shifts on the bed and pulls Thomas to lay on his back again. The weighted comfort of her head on his chest gives him some sort of relief from the turmoil he's facing. Shakily, his hand raises to gently run through her hair. Brenda melts against him, sighing again.

Thomas's eyes have just started drooping when Brenda speaks up in a soft murmur.

"If it wasn't my fault, then it wasn't yours either. I had the Cure in my hand when I found you two. It was just as much on me as it was on you."

Brenda knew that her words were old news to him, something he's heard time and time again. But she also knew that including her own possible blame in the death of their non-immune friend broke Thomas from his cycle of emotions in the moment, gave him some aspect of clarity. It didn't lessen the pain, only stifled it. Muffled it. For the time being, anyways.

Thomas doesn't respond for a while, not sure what to say.

He didn't blame Brenda in the slightest. He'd seen the pain and regret in her eyes when she saw Newt's body, the same pain and regret he'd been feeling, vial of the Cure in her hand. Thomas was told that she'd been inconsolable while he was out from his bullet wound, fully blaming herself for just not being faster.

Of course it wasn't Brenda's fault, what more could she have done?

But the purpose of her words slowly hits Thomas. He'd done everything he could to save Newt, tried to calm him down, take his weapon from him. But the Flare was too strong.

Brenda tried too. They both failed, but neither were at fault.

So, with a deep sigh, Thomas pushes the thought of his dead friend from his mind. He runs a hand through Brenda's hair again, letting his eyes flutter closed. Sleep tugs at his mind as he lays there.

If blaming himself meant blaming Brenda, then Thomas refused to do it. It wasn't her fault, so it wasn't his.

It wasn't either of their faults. And that, Thomas could live with.

[mazerunnerfanatic]

Little Comforts

Pairing: Sonya × Aris

Universe: Movies

Settling down in the Safe Haven wasn't necessarily easy for any of the surviving kids from WCKD. This was especially true for Sonya, a subject and survivor from Maze B, who, on top of being subjected to the Maze, was kidnapped and shipped around for six months in horrible conditions. Yes, many others went through the same things that she did, that was undeniable.

But after running on adrenaline for so long and always being on the move, when they were finally able to breathe, Sonya crashed- hard.

It was bad enough that she could barely move from her cot, but the fact that all of her friends seemed so much better than her and were seemingly coping better than she was only worsened her state. Her slow-returning memories were giving her little comfort, especially when she finally remembered her now-dead big brother.

Harriet was always a comforting presence, but she was also stoic, which made Sonya feel even more self-conscious. Harriet pushed her to get up and try to see if the fresh air and sunlight would make her feel better, quoting how, in the Maze, they would go hang out outside when things got tough to catch a breather and relax. Sonya understood and appreciated her push, but she wasn't sure she could find it in herself to do so.

One person, however, didn't push or prod or try to drag her out of her hole.

Aris.

Sonya hadn't known Aris for very long before they escaped the Maze, but she'd gotten to know him a lot better when she was kidnapped by WCKD, as he'd been kidnapped as well. When the other group went off to find Minho after rescuing the two, they'd gotten time to connect some more, without the watchful eye of WCKD over them.

He'd grown taller in the past few months, though nothing too noticeable. Sonya just realized she was looking up at him more now. But Aris was the one person who took her crash in stride. Hell, he was the only one who even bothered to stay and have a chat with her.

Instead of telling her about all the ways that she could possibly make herself feel better, he sat with her and talked to her about literally anything. Gossip, memories of WCKD, memories of the Maze. He met her at her level, as opposed to trying to bring her up to his.

Sonya could not express with words how much his support meant to her. She was attributing most of her slow healing to Aris. He helped her so much that she started going outside and interacting with people again.

She spent a lot of time with Aris throughout the day, enough so that her friends were commenting on it. Sonya hadn't even realized how she subconsciously sought him out in groups, or just in general. He never seemed to mind, so she didn't think anything of it.

Sonya began to push through the days in order to make it to the little beach-meetings she shared with Aris once or twice a week. She was re-integrated into the society they'd built and finally found herself again. She didn't feel like holing up and being alone all day anymore, no longer cried herself to sleep from the weight of her trauma.

But that didn't mean she and Aris fell out.

No, if anything, they got closer. And their meetings felt more personal, more private. Less like meetings for talking about stress to blow off steam, more like hang-outs to be with the other.

The development of laced hands, affectionate smiles, giggles that belong only in that moment. Falling asleep on the beach, found snuggled up against each other. The eventual, tentative kisses, as if one wrong move means the other disappears.

Sonya didn't know where they were going, and honestly, she didn't really care right now. All she knew was that Aris was the person she found the most comfort in.

And that was enough.