max-ninjaa

[max-ninjaa]

i can't do this anymore! i mean i can, and i will, obviously. but i can't fucking do this anymore!

[max-ninjaa]

Knitting, 2021 - by Joseph Ford, English

[max-ninjaa]

oh no cigarettes for me thanks i just wanted to be in this dank alleyway with you

[max-ninjaa]

fujoshi dog

[max-ninjaa]

“The bra hook buries itself in our backs. The boys who won’t love me just won’t love me. I sit on the subway hold my hand. You are not the only one who goes home and thinks about killing yourself.”

— Angela Veronica Wong, from “When Elsa is Angry She Forgets About Stairs” (via fleurishes)

[max-ninjaa]

[max-ninjaa]

Sexual dysfunction

Do you have a "favourite" physical trait to give to your OCs? If so, what is it?

[max-ninjaa]

in season 3 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[max-ninjaa]

He's doing his best, guys.

[max-ninjaa]

[max-ninjaa]

Blue Birch Woods no.1

by Jef Bourgeau.

[max-ninjaa]

bat mosaic at the rijksmuseum you are all i think about 💖

[max-ninjaa]

kinda fucked up how society teaches that “it’s not fair” is a whiny and childish emotional response to have. what a good way to gloss over the fact that things need to change until they are fair & that distress is a valid emotional response to injustice

[max-ninjaa]

reminder that 30 isn’t old, it’s very normal to not accomplish everything in your 20s, and that it is never too late to learn that thing you’ve always wanted to learn. you’re always growing. that’s a good thing. 

[max-ninjaa]

Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

[max-ninjaa]

[max-ninjaa]