mavy1

[mavy1]

Ass too fat to lie comfortably on the tattoo artist's table 😔

[mavy1]

god I would be UNSTOPPABLE if I was capable of consistently initiating tasks. just you wait. you'll be waiting a while but just you wait

[mavy1]

vehicular manslaughter chappell roan be like you can hit a hundred boys with cars

[mavy1]

[mavy1]

[mavy1]

just learned today that there was a german monk who was obsessed with witches and women having sex so he wrote an entire book called the hammer of witches where in one part he describes in detail that witches have the ability to make people’s penises disappear and they keep the penises as pets and feed them oats

[mavy1]

[mavy1]

My wife's favorite sleep noise app is the kind that lets you mix different noises, one of which is a snoring shih tzu, and she loves to create soundscapes that imply the dog is in imminent danger

[mavy1]

this beast wants access to the small wet room so bad

[mavy1]

vehicular manslaughter chappell roan be like you can hit a hundred boys with cars

[mavy1]

if you hired a galapagos finch as a linecook it would perfectly evolve a beak to optimally smoke cigarettes behind the dumpsters

[mavy1]

[mavy1]

[mavy1]

scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon

[mavy1]

this isn't going to happen but it WOULD be very funny

[mavy1]

masters degree in moving my legs around under the sheets like a big gay horseshoe crab

[mavy1]

rip mythbusters you would've loved destroying cybertrucks