mauratherudeteenager

[mauratherudeteenager]

I am back in another pathetic and desperate attempt to communicate with my friend without actually bothering him with a text. I don’t know if he sees these, he used to have notifications on when I posted but he could have turned that off. I could be talking to the void. Oh well, worth a shot.

I know that he’s probably either:

a) pissed as hell/hurt

b) indifferent because he’s moved on

c) very cautious because us talking again could probably cause a lot of problems

But I can’t give up. I can’t ever give up. There is no one in this whole wide world that I would do this for, no one I would embarrass myself for as much. I think I was just scared of everything a year ago, so I pushed him away and then when he pushed back I was stupid and didn’t know what to do. It was so easy to pretend like I didn’t care when I had distractions, I could just act like the thought wasn’t nagging at me or anything. He’s like the most real family I have. I keep seeing things and thinking that he would love them. I so desperately want to talk about the last season of The Umbrella Academy with him and bicker about stupid shit like if we prefer the 10th doctor to the 11th and so on. I’m so sick of thinking of things to tell him and never being able to. I used to text him every day.

I also get that it’s hard for him to just pick up his phone and call or text but I dunno it doesn’t even have to be that complicated. God if he understood even a fraction of how much I care… I hope he does. I want him to know how much he matters. I hope he knows how fucking amazing he is despite the fact that he drives me insane sometimes. And I hope we can be part of each other’s lives again. I want to show him everything, and I want to see everything.

I’ll keep trying. Kinda need that other half of my soul back, buddy. Hope you see this :/

[mauratherudeteenager]

I’m back!!! Kinda. I’ll probably forget this account in like 2 days. Oh well.

I just went through the most heartbreaking year of my life and all I can fucking think right now is that I’m actually feeling pretty good. I’ve kind of been thinking that if things are going to work out they will and me pushing for certain things def won’t make them happen any quicker. I lost all of my friends, my boyfriend, and pretty much all the things I wanted to do. Despite that I feel happy.

Hannah and I are no longer friends, it’s as simple as that. I think we just grew apart and we want different things now. I still hope that she’s doing okay and that she gets everything that she wants, but I’m not part of that.

Kai and I haven’t spoken in a while and I think that’s how he wants it. He and I were soulmates, I know we were, because he was my very best friend. Sometimes I wish I could explain to him how important he was to me and how I miss him, but he doesn’t answer my texts. I see stuff that reminds me of him all the time and it sucks because I can’t show him. I wish he’d reach out.

As for my ex boyfriend, he turned out to be very different from how I thought he was. He hurt me very badly, did some things that I could probably report him for if I’m being honest. I really loved him, though. I’m finally moving on with my life, but he hurt me in a way I thought no one would ever again.

I’m going to uni soon. I’m finally going to do what I’ve been dreaming of for years. It’s very exciting! Also, my friend Lane has been a huge support and is honestly my best friend right now.

I guess I’m saying that it’s important to be able to let some things go, and to cherish others. Happy memories you make can last a lifetime and remind you of what’s important, and people you didn’t appreciate before can become your best friends. So always try to remember what matters, and to cast aside the things that don’t.

[mauratherudeteenager]

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[mauratherudeteenager]

one thing that drives me absolutely insane is that ive seen so many comments talking about how tvpjo!annabeth isnt their annabeth bc shes not tan and blonde but i dont see people complaining about literally anyone else!! there are SO FEW characters if at all that stay faithful to their book descriptions! luke isnt a blonde guy, percy doesnt have black hair and green eyes, grover doesnt have a rasta cap on, chirons horse end is black not white, echidna is NOTTT supposed to be a conventionally attractive older woman i could keep GOING.

at the end of the day these people are portraying these characters essences incredibly, and this tv series is by far one of the best adaptations ive ever seen of any popular book. to take that for granted and complain because of different hair and skin, especially singling out ONE twelve year old girl is so childish and frankly! disgusting.

[mauratherudeteenager]

The Biblically Accurate Trio in TLT

[mauratherudeteenager]

We are ineffably elated to confirm that Good Omens will return for a third season! This calls for a round of hot chocolate and sweet treats!

@neil-gaiman

[mauratherudeteenager]

michael sheen: they're best buddies!

david tennant: they're married

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[mauratherudeteenager]

shadow and bone is like. it's the worst show i've ever seen it's the best show i've even seen it's a bad adaptation it's fanfiction with a netflix budget it's better than i expected it's worse than i wanted it's pure fan service the acting is phenomenal the writing is terrible and the thing is it's all of these things. but also it's none of these things because most importantly shadow and bone is a vessel for freddy carter to give the performance of a lifetime

[mauratherudeteenager]

Freddy Carter carried this season on his back, he was born to play Kaz Brekker & you can’t say otherwise

[mauratherudeteenager]

SHADOW AND BONE (2021-) - live Kaz reaction

[mauratherudeteenager]

funny phrases to use when something goes wrong instead of jokingly saying "i'm going to kms":

i'm going to kill god

i'm going to delete my blog

i'm going to explode

i'm going to blow up this entire website

i'm going to become the joker

this is going to be my villain origin story

i'm being so brave about it

fuck it we ball

god had to nerf me because i was too powerful

i'm too pretty for this

all according to plan

feel free to add on

[mauratherudeteenager]

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[mauratherudeteenager]

this might be a hot take idk but like...why do people treat neurodivergent disorders like a death sentence? like just in relation to they respond with sympathy like they're sad for you?

like i'm saying this because i just feel like there's this common trend of responses from neurotypical people and it's so fucking weird

like someone tells you their diabetic and you're like "oh okay"

but then someone tells you they're bipolar or autistic and people respond with "oh wow. oh my god. i'm so sorry"

like it's just so weird??? like yeah my neurodivergence makes my life difficult and ostracizes me from society but if i don't keep my diabetes in check i could straight up fucking die.