matt-has-a-bat

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ok wait, reblog if you’ve cried at least once because of math, doesn’t matter which grade i’m trying to prove something 

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at some point you have to realize that you actually have to read to understand the nuance of anything. we as a society are obsessed with summarization, likely as a result of the speed demanded by capital. from headlines to social media (twitter being especially egregious with the character limit), people take in fragments of knowledge and run with them, twisting their meaning into a kaleidoscope that dilutes the message into nothing. yes, brevity is good, but sometimes the message, even when communicated with utmost brevity, requires a 300 page book. sorry.

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Reblogs appreciated~!

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Awoo.

[Patreon] - [Store] - [Commissions] - [ko-fi]

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*September 1st on Tumblr*

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A lullaby

It's okay, it's alright, just look up, look up at the sky. It's alright, you can cry. Just look up my little one, up at the sky see the stars I've lit for you. They will show you the way just as you my little firefly have shown me, you taught me how to love, how to be happy and I know you will continue to do so for so many others. It's okay you can cry but your tears they are too precious, my dear you are to precious. Yes there will be people who will hurt you and yes sometimes the ones you love most.. But I will always be there for you to hold.. I will always be there. It's okay.. It's alright.. Just let yourself fly, my little firefly.

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How it turned out

Am I a burden? A flaw? Does my presence do more bad than good? Am I broken? The shell of what could but never will be. A husk of a bright child who never failed to make you smile. A memory of that smart kid that didn't need to try to succeed.

But school went from abc's to please help me's. It went from defining a living being to realizing I'm barely meeting the criteria. From screams of joy to tears of grief...

And then...when I first met her I thought my world became brighter and my nights impossibly lighter. But even she turned out to be a mystery I shouldn't have discovered. From butterflies to anxious maggots. Anticipation became fear... Laughter was rare and happiness scarce. When she finally put me from one misery into the next and left I was already broken... Soon after I found another yet...

It seemed that she took a part of me with her, for I was not able to love him as I have loved her. Be it because I already knew deep down the person he truly was.. But despite that I had fun. He distracted me from the dreadfulness of my days.. All up to the point when he didn't. Comfort was rare and my main emotions became worry laced fears.. I had to end it.. Would I not have, I don't know where I'd be.

Time passed and I went from feeling empty to getting by. Healing. And then. Then there was her. It was unexpected, pure fate I'd say. I believed in love at first sight but never thought I would be lucky enough to experience let alone end up keeping it. It almost seemed too good to be true. Almost. Too new, too foreign it was to me to feel loved, trully loved for who you are. And it was at first, although new, as it should be.

The so called "honeymoon phase" was as sweet as mead. I was afraid that once it ended things would rapidly decline but to my delight that didn't happen. We had our fair share of arguments of course but we fixed those and moved on.. So I'd at least like to hope. But no matter the phase or the seasons, loving you. Loving you was never hard. It was and still is simple. Simple and freeing as a river in its bed. I've never known this. Never knew true love. So it surprised me when the fear set in and made its home in my heart.. The fear that I'll lose you. The fear I won't be good enough that I won't be able to give to you all that you deserve. That I'll say or do something wrong and drive you away. It was worse than anything I've ever felt before.

Well.. Until that one moment when my heart sank... It isn't easy for me to cry yet all it took was one small look and everything fell apart.. If I was overreacting I don't know.. Was I at fault for letting my heart shatter? Maybe.. But it'll heal. It always does. It will take time for the consequential anxieties to ease and the fears to lessen but they will. Despite that. Loving you will always be simple. Because you could tear me apart piece by piece until all that remained was my heart which would still beat for you. Still as strong as the day we met.

It's because of you that I know. To love is not just that. It's to fear, to worry, to laugh and squeal. It's all of that and more and it's all just because of you.. It's all just for you. I love you. I love you I always will. If I tried to explain just why that is I'd run out of pages and words to describe it. The wouldn't be enough hours in a day and weeks in a month to finish it.

To circle now, all the way to the beginning.. My worries and my fears are not here because of you. They've gathered throughout my life.. The only reason they're appearing now is.. Well.. You're the one person I sincerely care about.. The one I love and the one I couldn't live without.

April 19th, 2022. I wrote this then... It is now June 29th, 2022. She broke up with me after 1 year and 13 days. 13 days after our anniversary she proved thag all of those fears I had were not out of the blue. History repeats and I was a fool enough to believe that this time it would be different.

-I've returned from the dead with some quite personal writing-

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Want to learn something new in 2022??

Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)

40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)

Excellent basic crochet video series

Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)

Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)

How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)

Another drawing character faces video

Literally my favorite art pose hack

Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??

Introduction to flying small aircrafts

French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding

Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)

Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)

Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)

Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:

Calculus 1 (full semester class)

Learn basic statistics (free textbook)

Introduction to college physics (free textbook)

Introduction to accounting (free textbook)

Learn a language:

Ancient Greek

Latin

Spanish

German

Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)

French

Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)

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Hi guys for some reason tumblr won't allow me to post fics here so if you want to read my work there is a link to my Ao3 account in my bio.

I also take requests!

I hope you enjoy my work

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A fight for love

Your best friend Taehyung wants to be something more than that

San x y/n + jealous Taehyung

You and San were cuddling on the couch watching a movie as Taehyung walked in. He stopped for a moment and looked at you with a smile that fell as soon as your boyfriend looked over. San pulled you closer and kissed your head knowing what that does to your friend. Taehyung clenched his fists and jaw looking at San with dark eyes,that look soon shifting to you and getting a more sly tone. He walked away and returned after some time passed and San had to go to a fan greeting. You two talked and laughed together, him stealing some touches. His happy mood soon turned to suppressed anger as San returned and leaned over him to give you a kiss. In that moment Tae had enough. He pushed San away and stood up. "Y/n is mine. She was never supposed to be yours" he snarled at San with anger in his eyes. San only chuckled knowing he may be shorter than him but he's a lot stronger. He walked up to Tae "she's not yours. She belongs to me." he pushed taehyung back" all mine and you get nothing. " Tae tried to hit him but San caught his arm twisting it and pinning him to the wall. Struggle was useless and Taehyung glared at San as he let him go. San walked over to you wrapped his arms around you and lifting you up. Your head on his shoulder and your legs wrapped around his hips, he carried you upstairs and as you were walking you saw your best friend on the floor looking at you with a certain glint in his eye and right as San put you down you saw Tae wink at you. This was far from over.

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Tease

San Choi decides to have some fun with you

Suggestive theme ahead

You felt heavy breathing on your neck. He pressed himself against you arms going around your body one settling on your hip and the other on your throat. You could feel him hard through his pants aching for your touch. He rests his head by your ear and lowly growls as he rolls his hips forward.

His hands slid under your shirt gently exploring your body his heavy breaths close to your ear and his hand around your throat squeezing.

You whined against him but he only rolled his hips into yours again. He flipped you around and pined you to a wall, your hands above you held in one of his. Your lips were captured in a heated kiss as he pressed himself flush against you letting you feel his arousal. He grinned at you with a glint in his eye as he eased himself out of his pants. He pushed you down until you were kneeling before him he leaned over you and looked down "come on get to it kitten" he said with a smirk and a purr in his voice.

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Ravn's punishment

A short Oneus drabble

!Warning!:torture

The air was heavy, the room was dimly lit no other source of light than the moonlight coming from the barred window. There was nothing else but soft panting and the occasional rattle of shackles to be heard. Ravn's arms hung heavy and chained above him. He was kneeling on the floor hunched over waiting…listening. He should have known better than to disobey but he had to try, all that power could have been his. Ravn forced himself to sit upright on his knees with his head hanging low as he heard the heavy metal door of the chamber slide open. He didn't have to guess who it was. By now he knew this man by the sound of his footsteps and especially by the energy the devil radiated. His superior walked in, stopped in front of him and took his jaw into his hand forcing him to look at the man. Keonhee dropped the boys head and walked to the side of the room to retrieve the (still blood covered) whip. As he came closer he started to speak. "You're an idiot. Did you really think that was a smart idea?" Ravn didn't answer. He knew better than to do so. "Disobeying a direct order, just so you could have a glimpse of the power I hold. You're a fool." As the first lash lands the devil continues "You're weak. A powerless nobody who thinks he can achieve anything. Truly you are a pathetic sight." The lashes get harder and more frequent and the devil grunts as more energy is required. Bloody whip marks forming on the low demons back. Ravn's breathing gets heavier as he screams and pleads his master for forgiveness. When he's done Keonhee drops the now bloody whip and walks to the front of the lowlife making him look up. "You're worthless." The words dripped with venom and his cold eyes were staring into those dull exhausted ones. The devil walked out and Ravn pulled on the shackles begging to be let go. He looks up with hope when the door slides open but it quickly vanishes his breath gets caught in his throat and his body freezes in horror as a certain pink haired maniac walks into the room dragging a baseball bat behind him giggling "oh we're going to have so much fun!"

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OC Questions - Storytime Edition

1. What sort of story is most emotionally resonant with your oc?

2. What type of story ending does your oc find most frustrating?

3. What type of story ending is your oc's favorite?

4. If someone wanted to really grab your oc's attention, how would they begin their sentence?

5. Which oc is most likely to catch on when someone is lying to them?

5a. Does it depend on what kind of lie?

6. Which oc is most likely to believe someone who is being facetious?

6a. Does it depend on the type of lie?

7. Which oc is considered most trustworthy by others?

7a. Is there a reason they have this reputation?

7b. Is this opinion of them pretty much unanimous, or is it based on who gets asked?

8. Which oc is considered the least trustworthy?

8a. How did they get this reputation?

8b. Is there anyone who thinks they're actually honest?

9. Which oc is good at making others feel at ease?

9a. What method do they use?

10. Which oc is good at getting others to leave when they dont want company?

10a. What's their method?

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- robert frost, the road not taken

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Find out what about Destiel makes you go feral by taking this uquiz.

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✨Angel Numbers✨

Angel numerology is a universal code that higher entities (such as angels and spiritual guides) use to communicate with you. Different numbers have different meanings:

✨111✨ - The Intuition Number: follow your gut feeling and trust your heart. Follow your spirit and stay true to yourself.

✨222✨ - The Alignment Number: you are in the right place at the right time. Don't worry about the future, and trust in what you want.

✨333✨ - The Support Number: your spiritual guides and higher beings are sending you support and guidance. You're in good hands!

✨444✨ - The Protection Number: you are protected by your spiritual guides.

✨555✨ - The Change Number: the universe is moving around you, and change is coming. Trust this transition.

✨666✨ - The Reflection Number: take a step back and refocus your thoughts. Reconnect with your spirituality.

✨777✨ - The Lucky Number: great things are about to happen, and luck is on your side. Keep doing what you're doing!

✨888✨ - The Balance Number: everything is falling into place and your thoughts will be in harmony.

✨999✨ - The Release Number: it's time to let go of things that no longer serve you. Start a new journey and prepare for the next level.

I hope this guide helps a little :3