matsonjones

[matsonjones]

shooting myself in the back of the head so my suicide looks suspicious and i waste everyones time

[matsonjones]

people need to stop complaining about not having friends who want to do the activities they want to do. if you want friends who will joust with you to the death, then start challenging your friends to joust to the death. if you want a friend who will betray you after years of sworn service to you by having an affair with your wife, then get a wife and knight a guy you found in the lake. cultivate the friendships you want to have

[matsonjones]

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

[matsonjones]

richie tozier family guy death pose

[matsonjones]

American naturalization test

[matsonjones]

“the habsburgs weren’t even that inbred” uh yes they were, why is this discourse it’s just a scientific fact

[matsonjones]

I wanna bf that has a life like those characters from fast & the furious and he come home n I bandage his knee and urge him to b careful out there bc I’m pregnant

[matsonjones]

[matsonjones]

[matsonjones]

Yaoi Has Been Proven Scientifically

[matsonjones]

Favorite little detail of The Magician nobody ever mentions: his belt is a little ouroboros.

[matsonjones]

volunteering with Food Not Bombs is really good training wheels for getting into more explicitly political leftist organizations for three main reasons:

it (or at least my local chapter) is mostly anarchist, which gives you firsthand experience with how ineffective "community organization" is at doing any kind of management more complex than "show up at this location at this recurring time"

preps you for handling leftist infighting in-person, which is not really a skillset you develop on tumblr - when someone you cook with every week starts talking about how US military interventionism is sometimes a good thing when the country in question is run by "a dictator", you unfortunately can't just tell them to kill themselves and then block them

gives you plenty of opportunities to learn to be wary of random people showing up and asking if you'd be interested in doing black bloc or direct action and giving you a protonmail address written on an index card

[matsonjones]

[matsonjones]

[matsonjones]

i had a dream last night that kermit the frog died. it was on the news "kermit the frog, aged 96, has passed away peacefully in his sleep"

i turned to my mom like "how does that even work, he's a puppet?" she got really mad at me and said through tears "now's not the time, the frog JUST died. show some respect."

[matsonjones]

I think it's cute how so many art movements are simply called "new art" to differentiate "not like the old stuff". Contemporary dance. New wave fashion. Pop (literally popular) music. Art Nouveau. Modernism. Postmodernism. Even terms starting with neo- (neo-classicism, neo-expressionism) all are just saying NEW ART. And yet all of these things are now distinctive styles of the past. It's kind of beautiful how humanity never stops outgrowing itself. Art is a state of matter that refuses to sit still, old as soon as it is new, original upon its thousandth performance, new forever so long as there is someone who has not yet seen it, and old the second the artist picks up their instrument again.

[matsonjones]