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it bothers me that you often don't really hear about people having a "favorite album" the way they might have a favorite movie or favorite video game

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been thinking about fantasy/scifi rule systems and free will

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Funny story from the other night:

A dad came into my cafe with his 3 year old daughter.  He bought her a cookie and himself a coffee.  They sit down, and I go back to my pre-closing cleaning.  Three minutes later the dad walks up to the counter again, so I stop cleaning and walk over to greet him again.

As I’m in the middle of saying “hi” he cuts me off and says “Water.”

Not “Can I get a glass of water, please?” not “Where can I get water?” not even a confused “water?” like he’s not sure how to get water in this cafe.  Just a single word demand.

I work in silicon valley, so I’m kind of used to techies talking to me like I’m Siri or Alexa, but it still always drives me crazy when they do this.  Like, I don’t even care about the “please” anymore, I just want people to talk to me in complete sentences.  So I get the guy a cup of water, and he sits back down. 

As I’m about to go back to cleaning I hear his daughter go “Daddy, you did that WRONG.  You have to say ’CAN I have a glass of water PLEASE’”

My jaw hit the ground.  The dad suddenly became flustered and tried coming up with excuses “I-I said please…” “No you didn’t!” “Well she was busy…. I didn’t want to bother her…..” “You still got to be polite!”

When they were done eating the dad brought the dishes back to the counter and said “Thank you so much!” It’s amazing how fast someone’s manners can improve when a 3 year old calls them out.

Shout out to whoever is teaching that little girl manners, because you know it’s not her dad.  I hope she never stops calling rude people out.

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Your sixth most recent emoji is how your guardian angel feels about you

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On Friendship.

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salt soda🍹🍹🍹

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yesterday I told a friend "drown your sorrows tonight but save one bottle to make a molotov tomorrow" and I'm actually very proud of that. might embroider it on a pillow

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reblog this to remind the person you reblogged it from that theyre loved

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Reblog the writers’ fortune cookie for luck!

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I have a deformation to my uterus that makes my chances of carrying a pregnancy over the first trimester something like 5%. Mind it, not to have a baby, to get past the fish trimester.

No big deal, I never wanted a kid, I wasn't even "the mom" when playing pretend (I was the teacher).

The big deal? Still I have people telling me that there's a percentage and that I should try anyway. They're literally pushing me to suffer a miscarriage after the other to get something I don't want.

Seriously.

People.

STOP.

stop telling your teenage daughters who say they don't want kids that they'll change their mind

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Più sottile, "Iemitsu è mattiniero".

Tsuna perplesso perché l'avrà visto sveglio prima delle undici forse un paio di volte nella vita

So in one of my latest head au developments I have decided that Squalo's father kinda despises iemitsu and calls him "il giovane minchione dei vongola" (the young vongola fuck head), which is a play on "il giovane leone dei vongola" (the young vongola lion)

Hope you'll find this as amusing as I do

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You show up for your first day at Copyright-Free Magic School. As you're going through orientation, you're informed that all new students get a school-assigned familiar that they are responsible for housing and maintaining. The staff member assures you that your assigned familiar is appropriately chosen and reflects you in some way.

Spin this to find out yours. (Remember, you are responsible for maintaining this familiar in your dorm room.)

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Leone also rhymes with coglione, which would allow anyone to tell Iemitsu "alla sera leoni, al mattino coglioni" (Lions at dusk, fuckheads at dawn) and I think it's beautiful

So in one of my latest head au developments I have decided that Squalo's father kinda despises iemitsu and calls him "il giovane minchione dei vongola" (the young vongola fuck head), which is a play on "il giovane leone dei vongola" (the young vongola lion)

Hope you'll find this as amusing as I do