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Some of you haven’t stayed up till 3am reading angsty slowburn fanfiction and it shows.
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Peter: What about Thor?
Fury: Off-world.
Peter: Captain Marvel?
Fury: Unavailable.
Peter: Doctor Strange?
Fury: Told us to stop calling him.
Peter: Let me try. *calls him*
Fury: That won’t work-
Stephen: *pokes his head in through a portal* You rang, Peter?
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Fury: Spider Man. We need you to help us solve this Multiversal chaos.
Stephen: *materializes*
Stephen: *finishes eating his ham and cheese sandwich*
Stephen: Am I a joke to you-
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All the Marvel fanfic writers @The Russos right now:
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Best Endgame Quotes.
Add to the list!
“I lost the kid.”
“Because before you didn’t have me.”
“Let’s go get this son of a bitch.”
“My father is many things… but a liar is not one of them.”
“I went for the head.”
“So… he’s an idiot.”
“Basically… yeah, a time machine.”
Whatever Thor says to Noobmaster69
“Hulk out! Dab!”
“You’re saying you base your concept of time travel off ‘Back to the Future’?”
“And two test runs!” -Poof- “One test run!”
“Flick me!”
“Hail Hydra.”
“I can do this all day.” “Yeah. I know, I know.”
“MEDIC!”
“NO STAIRS! Hate stairs.”
“Yeah… that is America’s ass.”
“You’re about 5 years early.”
“You’re not the Thor I know, are you?”
“Oh. I assume you’re Mom.”
“I’m starting to think we’re thinking of different people.”
“Tell my family I love them.” “Tell them yourself.”
“Let me go. It’s okay.”
“Don’t touch me.”
“That’s the one? Really?” “It’s either him or a talking tree.”
“Nono, that’s for me. You get the small one.”
“Avengers… ASSEMBLE.”
“Activate instant kill.”
“Hey Peter Parker. Got something for me?”
“Oh. This is nice.”
“That’s why it’s yours.”
“You gonna tell me about her?” “No, I don’t think I will.”
“Your majesty.”
“We’re the Asgardians of the Galaxy!
“It’s you! Of course it’s you.”
“Mr. Stark? Hey… Mr. Stark, can you hear me? It’s Peter. Hey. We won, Mr. Stark! … We won, you did it, sir, you did it…”
“I’m sorry… Tony.”
“You can rest now.”
“I love you 3000.”
“Your dad liked cheeseburgers.”
“I am Iron Man.”
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Doctor Strange - Avengers: Infinity War (part II)
(Part I)
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so i think we can all agree that we ignore the last half hour of endgame when it comes to fanfics? cool? cool.
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First avengers Steve, young and hopeful and patriotic: “I can do this all day-”
Endgame Steve, who HAS been doing this all day, every day, for the past 10 years: “Yeah I know.”
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im 100% sure this move was created when their combined 4 braincells were fucking around
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Would block Tony antis:
Would reblog Tony antis:
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ok underrated part of ragnarok: “and he knows i love snakes”. hes just so friendly. just so famously loving of snakes that loki was like, oh, i know whatll get him, the friendly bastard
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Concept: The Avengers doing a body positivity ad in which they all show off their various disabilities/ scars/ imperfections. Tony gets a close-up shot of all the scars on his chest. Steve showing the stretch-marks that were caused by the serum and never really went away. Bucky stands tall without his prosthetic on. Clint signs in ASL over at the camera. Natasha shows off the ugly scar that runs straight up her spine. Bruce just stands there in his underwear, showing off his love handles and his lovely round tummy and smiling like a sunbeam. Thor takes off his eyepatch and then winks with his one good eye. They all stand next to one another, laughing, completely comfortable. The slogan of the ad says ‘no one is perfect- not even a superhero’.
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How come Tony Stark gets to fight villains naked all the time in the comics but not in the movies? I am being denied my rights!
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y’all: peter was able to stop bucky’s fist in civil war bc bucky heard peter’s voice, realized he was a child, then weakened his punch bc he was so worried about hurting a child uwu
me, eating pistachios: y’all know peter can canonically lift up to 75 tons, right. y’all know bucky’s fist is easy as hell for peter to block, right. y’all know bucky didn’t know shit about peter being a child and was just shocked that someone was able to so easily block his punch, right. y’all know that, right.
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