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i have never related so much to a tiktok

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so what youre gonna wanna do is crush the garlic and ginger instead of just slicing it ok, it releases more of those good flavors. yoshi is going to eat me and turn me into an egg now, i love you. remember everything i taught you

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Or water fountains, public washrooms, outdoors tables, etc, etc

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another reason I’m not interested in coaching anyone (even well meaning folks) on how *not* to have a bad gut reaction towards fat people is that I simply cannot relate. I have never once in my life felt disgusted by fat bodies. I held false beliefs about health and fatness, I have poor body image because of the assumptions people make about me, but I have always felt very fondly of fatness and fat people for as long as I can remember. I know it’s almost normal to have had to work through that disgust - in fact it’s so normal that I thought there was something wrong with me for feeling the opposite about it. I’m proud of everyone who has done the work to overcome their feelings of fear and disgust towards fat bodies, but I just can’t imagine ever hating fat people.

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My two straight guy friends are trying to play matchmaker and set me up with this other lesbian straight guy 1 is friends with. Feels like I'm in a weird romcom

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wait you understand that kinks are ok because they're fantasies that make you happy right? you all get that you don't need to have trauma for your kinks to be okay? right? like none of you think i witnessed a tragic accident on the pool toy assembly line right?

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Reblog to give a trans woman a warm cup of soup

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I guess the real glorious evolution was the homoerotic yearning we made along the way

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trump dies of congestive heart failure before being sworn in charge to like cast to reblog

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If your tummy itches when you wear jeans, you have a nickel allergy and should paint the back of the buttion with nail polish. Okay I am going into the woods forever now. I love you.

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ITS FUCKING LOAD BEARING?!

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My autistic brother created a new family Christmas tradition

Okay, so last year, my mom bought this Christmas moose that she lovingly named Barry

This is him

Cute, right?

Well, for whatever reason only known to my brother, he decided that he wanted to put Barry in different rooms of our house and it usually scares the shit out of whomever happens upon Barry; usually the person who finds him is the person that my brother wanted to scare.

So far, Barry has been found

On our dining room table

On my dad's side of my parents' bed

In my parents' closet

Outside their bedroom door (at 5 in the morning and scared my mother shitless)

Near the kitchen door

Near my fucking bed

At the bottom of my sister's stairwell

In our bathroom

And down the hallway

This has gone on for 9 days and it doesn't seem to show signs of stopping. Most of the time we know who gets Barry because it's always followed with a very loud "FUCKING BARRY!!!!!"

My brother is the funniest fucking person I know.

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ii/iii/iv mask details / 📷 theportraitdude