marmorjorts

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Everybody stop what you’re doing RIGHT NOW and celebrate the last Out of Touch Thursday of 2020

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just looked over to find my cat had somehow crawled into the sleeve of my jacket ???? fucking wheezing. the baleful worm

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Step into my healing aura you shit fuck

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Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

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let her in

I've got two Mari Lwyd drawings for you this year that were half finished for a few years. This is the one I started in 2022. I will probably print her as a seasons greetings card for next year.. and add glitter.

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on the thirteenth day of christmas my true love was investigated for his many flagrant violations of the Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918

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this will be the year I finally convince everyone to abandon New Year's resolutions in favour of Yule Boasting, the clearly superior tradition

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Sound on

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I usually fucking loathe anyone who references 1984 on social media but I do feel like actually Microsoft deciding to underline every use of an intensifier as an error is some Newspeak bullshit. no you can't replace "very nervous" with "nervous" to make a sentence "more concise" actually, because the word "very" has an actual fuckdamn meaning that I am deliberately conveying, you soulless corporate horseshit shovelling cartoon paperclip ass motherfucker

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I HAVE WAITED ALL YEAR TO POST THIS

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I'm at a :.|:; for words.

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oh im gonna kill myself

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"kung pow penis," a phrase commonly used in reblogs to indicate utter disdain for OP, has twelve letters, each of which (traditionally) must be supplied by a different user. the unanimity of disdain indicated by these twelve unrelated users has strong parallels to the requirement of unanimity for a jury—also traditionally of twelve—to arrive at a verdict. in this essay i will