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me as a parent 

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when the cashier gives u back ur change and ur putting it away but u cant do it fast enough and suddenly theyre holding out ur shopping bag and u have no hands and the coins are dropping to the ground and the bag goes up in flames and the cashier is crying and ur crying and ur wallet is screaming and ur descending into hell

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How Canadian cops deal with road rage.

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*person falls, in a loud destructive manner*

voice off camera: Hey, Ron.

fallen person: Hey, Billy!

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FUXKSJSFJDHD

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savage

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i made my dad dress up as a ghost for my art project

[dont delete my caption]

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my talents include staying up till 3 am and and forgetting not to swear in front of children

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I don’t have a reason to get better. No reason to pull myself together. I don’t care, because I don’t have to.

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blue whales are the largest animal ever recorded, like you literally need to be in a helicopter to actually see one in from a perspective with zero distortion. idk i just feel pretty lucky to be alive on earth at the same time as them and they don’t even want to kill me. they just wanna use their toothbrush mouthes to filter the ocean of smol ocean bugs. they have communities and they sing to each other to communicate. work is slow im sorry happy friday whales r so cool