mariammanjgal - Tumblr blog

[mariammanjgal]

Holiday Season.

Israel castillo photography

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Christian Dior spring 1998

[mariammanjgal]

stared at a photograph of an island today and saw a protools waveform. i think i've been recording too long.

[mariammanjgal]

Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves

.

[mariammanjgal]

“And people are often unable to do anything, imprisoned as they are in I don’t know what kind of terrible, terrible, oh such terrible cage. […] Do you know what makes the prison disappear? Every deep, genuine affection. Being friends, being brothers, loving, that is what opens the prison, with supreme power, by some magic force. Without these one stays dead. But whenever affection is revived, there life revives.”

— Vincent Van Gogh in a letter to his brother Theo (July 1880)

[mariammanjgal]

How was high school for you? Did you do well? were you popular? Did you play any sports? Any crazy stories?

highschool was a blur. i did ok. 3.2 cum. nothing special. i wasn’t popular. i did play a sport or two. crazy stories.. uhh, i don’t know if this is crazy but i set the state record for fund raising selling mail order candy and shit to my neighbors. and i got into a fight last week of senior year over a card game and kicked a guy in his face so hard i knocked his earring out. 

[mariammanjgal]

I hope when i meet prince for the first time, he quotes something obscure and releases a dove.

..

[mariammanjgal]

Intuitively speaking, atheism feels ridiculous.

so does religion. how about, ‘I don’t know.’

[mariammanjgal]

<3

what crosses my mind gets hit by a car.

[mariammanjgal]

from a memory alone

I memorized the wayward expressions Never look down Never let you see me down I memorized the way no directions Can I come over now I’d like to stay a little while I memorized your body exposed I could fuck you all night long From a memory alone

I never forget a face Don’t go plastic on me Nothing’s set in stone You’re not dipped in gold Dipped in gold You can’t breathe if you’re dipped in gold You are not on paper You are not a copy You’re so, you’re so..so thick, so thick

[mariammanjgal]

some nights we do everything with tears in our eyes

[mariammanjgal]

mfs attending did not deserve to be there. That was supposed to be MEEEEEEEEEEE

frank ocean, coachella (2023)

[mariammanjgal]

FIRST POST^^

Hi Hi Hiiii. I just randomly got the urge to start blogging on tumblr in 2023 lol. And the reason for that is that I've always wanted to have a diary but i'm too inconsistent for that plus it takes too much effort and time to write everything by hand. This blog has 0 followers so I'll have no shame about what I write here. Maybe I'll keep it a secret forever. Anyways, life lately has not been good at all. I think I'm really feeling the transition from teens to twenties (I'm 19) and I'm feeling it reeealll heeeavyyy. Daytimes are alr but whenever the night comes... oh boy. I sometimes want to rip my skin off (metaphorically(?)). Some aspects of my life have been really stagnant and they don't correlate with who I am anymore (maybe some people too). Don't think there are many feelings that feel worse than being stuck somewhere or with someone feeling like you don't belong. But at the same time I've changed so many times and so much during my long but short 19 years of life that I've kinda stumbled upon that situation many times. And I think what they say about your outer reality changing along with your inner self is true because I've shed so many versions of myself, I lost count and when I observe someone from a specific time in my life it feels like they're still there. Like they belonged there, so they internally stayed the same and they physically stayed there - idk how to explain it. I also feel like my appearance does not correspond with who I am. I've been feeling like that for a long time now actually. For example, I've been taught to always make safe choices with what i wear and how i match garments with each other, but that way of carrying pieces of clothing has nothing to do with me since I am everything but noncontroversial and safe. But maybe I'm going along with that style because like my clothes, I've been trying to fade out my opinions and the way that i behave and the way that i talk and the way that i voice my opinions, too. So that makes me think about - what if everything else I've been taught in my life is just like what I've been taught about what I should wear? safe and sound, when what i really am is bold and passionate. And if you're wondering why I'm so worried about clothes, well, it's not that I'm materialistic it's just that I never knew who I was, really - many people around me, many opinions, many friends groups but still for some reason no place where I belong - and that's where the shame with my self expression stemmed from (chiron in 1h in rx if u could not guess). I ALWAYS HAD ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA REGARDING WHO I WAS THEREFORE I DID NOT KNOW WHAT I LIKED THEREFORE I WAS ALWAYS STICKING TO SAFE CHOICES THAT WOULD FIT WITH ALL BUT EXPRESS NONE. AND IT MAY NOT BE LIKE THAT FOR EVERYONE, BUT FOR ME FASHION IS A STATEMENT AND ITS A TOOL FOR SELF EXPRESSION AND I USED TO SUPPRESS THE EXPRESSIVE PARTS OF ME FOR MANY MANY YEARS. And the weird thing is that now that I've been spending a loooot of time on my own, I think I'm finding the things that are me - not my family, not my friends, not my experiences, but just plainly me. I've been building my world in my head for the past year in solitude and in piece, so now I'm upholding a lot strongly an idea of who I (think I) am. Eh, anyways. As I said it's 2023 but this year's coming to an end in just 10 days. Here are my 2024 wishes (stole first three from we're not really strangers mail from today lol) - feel less awkward meeting people, have figured out what I'm doing with my life, be in a relationship that's actually going somewhere (but like defeating the need of sabotaging anything that might be good first pls), feeling secure in myself and catching the hollow voices in my head that really are just echoes of my past, and last but not least get few steps closer to self realization - a single thing that actually matters in this weird world.

[mariammanjgal]

Frontispiece. “A champion young calico telescope goldfish.” _Goldfish varieties and tropical aquarium fishes_ 1921

[mariammanjgal]

Total eclipse of the Sun, May 29, 1900. Astronomy for everybody. 1902. Frontispiece, detail.

[mariammanjgal]

Robert Plant and Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin 70s/Pinterest

[mariammanjgal]

RECIPES I KEEP IN MY KITCHEN WITCH JOURNAL

My Original Content:

Soft Buttery Rolls

Healing Tea

Sweet Cream Buns

Baklava

Witchy Tomato Basil Soup

Birds Of Prey Inspired Spicy Avocado Breakfast Sandwich on Ciabatta Bread

Witchy Thumbprint Cookies

Magick Chocolate Chip Cookies

Imbolc Rosemary Jerk Baked Chicken

Witchy Pot Roast

PUERTO RICAN STYLE AVENA OATMEAL WITH A WITCHY TWIST

Other of my favorite recipes:

French Silk Pie

Rosemary, pepper, lavender skillet bread

Creamy summer vegetable soup

Salted Honey Pie 🍯

Love Thyself Brownies

Orange cake recipe

🌿Lavender Tea Infusion🌿

Fresh Apple Autumn Cake with Honey-Cinnamon Glaze

Pretzel buns

Foodie Friday: Acorn Bread!

Cold Season Soup–Vegetable Soup with White Beans, Cauliflower, and Quinoa

Moon Spell Cookies

Perfect lemon meringues

Chocolate muffins 🌙

Foodie Friday: Tiramisu!

100 year old gingerbread recipe

Strawberry juice 🍓

Witches’ Honey Bread

Warming Autumn Soup

Magickal snickerdoodles ☀️💘

Moon Cookies

Earl Grey Shortbread