mapleschmaple

[mapleschmaple]

A perfect snapshot of America in the trending articles from 12/6/24

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[mapleschmaple]

when I was 14 I worked in a grocery store and one day I got to bag Stephen King’s groceries and of course, being the little horror fiction nerd I am I was completely starstruck

I think he thought I was gonna ask for an autograph because I was not even lowkey staring I was full on moon-faced and bouncing and he kept looking over at me hesitantly like aw jeez kid fuck off

anyways I finally managed to squeak out that I was a huge fan and asked for advice on writing, “how do I write as well as you do?” in my horrible thick German accent and broken ass English and he gave me the best writing advice I have ever received

“shit kid, stop worrying about how other people do it and just write your story”

14 years later my wife and I nearly hit him with our car because he was jaywalking

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tumblr discourse after 13 years on this fucking website

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me when i first started watching cdramas: woah the sets are so beautiful

me watching cdramas now: hey, i know that street. hey, i know that temple. hey, i know that courtyard. hey, i know that gate. hey, i know that tree

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the words "boy" and "toy" rhyming is such a rare linguistic triumph for english. they did this for me

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I had a tattoo client ask if I ever used AI to design tattoos for me. Man I spent the better part of a decade doing shitty bit work as a graphic designer and now that I have the space to do whatever I want, I'm gonna let the computer generate random garbage for me? What next should I have a computer that eats my dinner and fucks my wife?

[mapleschmaple]

do you feel like youre annoying online?

[mapleschmaple]

Who is the biggest hater in history?

Me when I'm in a mood

[mapleschmaple]

i kinda feel bad for oedipus b/c everyone assumes he chose to fuck his mom when in fact he went out of his way to avoid it. he left his hometown and distanced himself from his parents because he was afraid he would somehow get tricked into fucking his mom. everything could have been avoided if his adopted parents told him he was adopted.

[mapleschmaple]

its dark outside. i'd better press 'f' to activate my 'flashlight'

[mapleschmaple]

I think I was just born with something dark and ugly inside of me. Always waiting to be found out.

planetarium - adrienne rich/@twoheadedfawnn/ugly, bitter, and true - suzanne rivecca/a burning hill - mitski/a hora da estrela- clarice lispector/ @100493503004422/sharp objects - gillian flynn

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might be my favourite post ever from the twitter menswear guy

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People think cats are small. Buddy wait til you find out about kittens. They're even smaller

[mapleschmaple]

enough about my guts

it’s time i rearrange his penis.!!!

[mapleschmaple]

i'm minding my own business reading the wikipedia page list of sandwiches and like. what kind of metabolism did elvis possess holy shit