mangareview

[mangareview]

Stardust Memories - Part 4

89/100

I believe the human race is the only one capable of pure cruelty. To a certain degree, of course. Although now that I think of it, I may be incorrect, the "human race" is too limiting. I'll expand it to beings with sentience or consciousness, those who can understand the importance of their own existence past the natural urge to survive are the only ones capable of understanding the equal importance of life to others. And thus the capability of being cruel in the sense that a being unaware of others equal will to survive is unable to, is reserved for those gifted with the gift of self-awareness.

"Expanding the life of humans". Is this truly something we want to do? I'm honestly not sure. Sometimes a legacy is more important than your own flesh and blood, something you've devoted your life to, something that you can fully call "your own".

Imagine a world where killing another extended the duration of your own life. Following that logic, at a certain point, the world would be mostly made up of individuals who have previously committed a murder. Notice I didn't say "evil" as I don't believe all murder is rooted in "evil". There would even be those killing in hopes to elongate their life even more. Sacrificing one, for another. I don't know, just a thought.

Roberta was none other than one of the families the captain had crushed on the path to building his empire, in which she finally got her revenge. The captain was also able to have his wish (In a sense...) Is that not what he wanted? To live forever? Or perhaps only to live on his own terms.

[mangareview]

Stardust Memories - Part 3

85/100

In this manga space is described as almost like a "no man's land", with preconceived morals are temporarily thrown out the window. Perhaps "God's judgement" does not reach past the vast expanse of the universe...(Jk)

One of the workers describes their company as "not exactly known for its compassion", its duty being to find a planet capable of colonization, therefore, not enough spare resources to look for a few missing astronauts. A little ironic, colony planets to save people yet too much effort to save those missing in space. Perhaps, once you willingly put yourself in harm's way by agreeing to life threatening missions your "value" diminishes. You become expendable. Is that how soldiers on the front line are treated?

Ah the selfishness of man : fear, greed. The natural urge to survive. Further represented by the microcosm of the planet C-2, a thriving little eco-system closed in upon itself. However, some are selfless to the point of naivety, I believe both are equally frustrating if taken to a certain extent. In the sense that, self-preservation is justified by the undeniable and relatable need to survive, one can always blame the one who cut the rope. Yet deep down, a small part of us recognizes the urge to survive that surpasses all else. Same goes for excessive selflessness, for example, Sherry taking care of the Captain even after his questionable actions. It makes us wonder what "urge" is pushing her to save him. She doesn't gain anything from this...Is she just a fool?

I believe no action is entirely selfless, there is always something to be gained. Perhaps, not direct or material, but obtainable. A compliment for example, the compliment will make the receiver feel good, and in turn they will come to appreciate the one who gave the compliment a little more. In turn, the giver will feel good having given a compliment and they will feel good having fortified their bond with the receiver. Which suggests that, although the giver may have decided to give the compliment under the illusion that it was solely to please the receiver, a small part of him recognized that there was also something to be gained from such an interaction.

However, if the receiver had responded negatively to the compliment, the giver would not gain anything from the interaction, perhaps going so far as to lose something (confidence, friendship...) Which confirms the interdependence of the interaction.

Which ties back to Shelly and her supposed "selflessness", although her action may be considered altruistic, she also has something to gain. The self certainty that she is in fact a "good person". She is the type of person who would help even a bad person in a time of need, and now she is sure of this thanks to her actions.

The chapter ends with Keith and Shelly forever trapped inside the eco-system forced to live symbiotically, "a blessing and a curse" as they described it.

[mangareview]

Neon Genesis Evangelion

100/100

Volume 1 :

Although this may be their first reunion in 3 years, animosity is already present between Shinji and his father. Ikari demands he pilots the Eva, and, upon his son’s refusal, demands he leave claiming : “We have no use for cowards”. Upon seeing his replacement Rei, Shinji has no choice but to accept, having otherwise felt the guilt of not only letting down his father (once more, the first disappointment having been his unavoidable existence), and sending the injured girl into battle. Misato and Ikari shamelessly lay more guilt onto Shinji, until he is forced, morally, to accept to synchronize with the machine. Shinji is spurred on by his father’s comments, refusing to be reduced to the simple insult of “coward”.

With the first scene inside the Eva, we learn a new concept of Shinji’s character, which to be honest surprised me. As, due to various media I had previously seen as more “meek” or “cowardly” as his father would describe him, Shinji charges into the Angel without second thought, which of course leads to failure. Did his fathers comment lead him to endanger his life so recklessly, or perhaps the thought of being perceived as a coward?

Shinji is presented with death for the first time, however, we see no fear or pain in his reaction. Much the contrary, Shinji says, and I quote : “Just as I thought -Death isn’t such a big deal after all”. He uses the words “Just as I thought”, Shinji has thought about death before, and it seems not in a negative way, even going so far as to reunite with his mother, who takes on an almost angelic and unclear form. This “peace” is short lived, as the sudden urge to live shakes Shinji back to reason, he doesn’t want to die “yet”.

It seems with the will to live alone, Shinji gains a new force which helps him defeat the Angel. Supposedly, it would have been impossible for Shinji to achieve that level of strength just yet.

Another look into the dynamic between Shinji and his father! It seems, even after Shinji single handedly defeated the Angel, his father remains cold, keeping his attention on Rei and sparing only a single glance in the direction of his only son. Although small, this is but another dent on Shinji’s self esteem.

Even Misato notices Shinji’s lack of self confidence and his shame for not having saved the city for “the right reasons”, and praises him for his good work. And, in a moment of vulnerability, Shinji admits (to himself) to wanting to hear those words from his own father.

Volume 2 :

Although Shinji receives praise from his classmates for being “cool enough” to pilot the Eva, Shinji remains apathetic, even when he is taken aside by what seems to be a “bully”. He’s blamed for having injured the boy’s sister during the melee and subsequently punched in the face. Still, Shinji remains equally neutral, questioning : “Don’t you get worn out from being angry all the time?” I believe Toji was mistaken in seeing this as provocation from Shinji. Much to the contrary, it seems Shinji is trying to understand others and their emotional freedom. Shinji is in a constant state of disregard, a purgatory of sorts. We see this in his relationship with his father, but also in his “family” back home. Even after having lived with them for most of his life, they hold no attachment to their nephew, which can only do so much for a child in their formative years.

Shinji describes his mind and his body drifting away from each other, he goes further into detail, “locking away his mind” after anything harmful or traumatic. Choosing to feel nothing at all.

Misato is blunt, she doesn’t realize the impact her words have on Shinji. In an attempt for him to “want” to pilot the Eva, she forces him to consider the lives of all mankind “riding on his shoulders”. After this proves fruitless, she even goes so far as to reveal that, although he may not value his own life (which he says quite clearly : “It doesn’t matter when I die”) he is an important pilot for the Eva, and even saying the extreme : “Your body doesn’t belong to you anymore”. Shinji’s self esteem is already abnormally low, however, this comment deepens the divide between his mind and body. His body “beats the bad guys” and his mind is unimportant : His value as a human being is not as important as his value as a pilot. More importantly, nobody likes Shinji for who he is as a person. We see the impacts of this as he constantly puts himself in the way of danger, first accepting to continue piloting the Eva, and later on inciting physical harm from Toji.

During the battle, Shinji repeatedly disregards Misato’s orders, charging into danger. It is clear that, to Shinji, the shame of retreating to the base as a failure is much greater than the offence of not following orders, or even dying. By pure luck alone, Shinji defeats another angel. “Why do I have to do this, for who?” Shinji doesn’t care about humanity, he doesn’t care about himself, who or what is he doing this for?

It seems to be blast after blast to Shinji’s self worth in these last few chapters. Shinji questions if Misato ever cared for him, or if he is really “just a pilot” and is met with nothing but a hit to the face and a reminder of what his duties are. It seems Misato is hurt, and unable to communicate her emotions or deal with such vulnerable outpoor from Shinji, she resorts to violence and authority. The empty look in Shinji’s eyes is ever more noticeable.

“Even Dad and Misato, They only need me as a pilot…not as a person”. This only confirms what I said earlier, his value rests on his proficiency as a pilot, not on his humanity. Shinji is insightful, he knows running away is foolish but he does it anyway. Negative attention is better than no attention.

Here we witness Shinji have the first positive human interaction since the beginning of the manga. Aida gives him, although small, a look at what it’s like to be a “normal” teenager, one unburdened by responsibilities and self-pity.

Upon returning to Nerv, Misato seems to present Shinji with a choice. He can “choose” to pilot the Eva, or not. He is only given the illusion of free will however, as Misato’s intentions are clear : pilot the Eva as instructed and refrain from letting personal feelings get in the way, or return to your uncle, having let everyone down, and returning the injured Rei into danger. Misato’s manipulation is clever, “Besides, a pilot as insecure as you is nothing but trouble for us.” She doesn’t offer to help tackle why Shinji’s self worth is so undeniably low, she wants for him to become more controllable. Perhaps this is the only way Misato knows to get Shinji to stay (for now).

After a revealing conversation with Shinji’s classmates on the tracks, Misato is, for the first time, kind to Shinji. Although she doesn’t say it directly, offering up PenPen as a metaphor for Shinji in her life : “I thought it might be nice to have a family”. She lets Shinji know that she didn’t take him in as part of her job or her duty as commander, but out of pity for a boy who had no one else. It works, Shinji cries and agrees to return to “our home”. All he needed after all was a small hand of affection, anything to give him value as a person, although he may not ever receive this from his own father, having a friend is definitely a step in the right direction.

Volume 3 :

Rei, used to the limelight, seems to have delopped a sort of “envy” towards Shinji, stepping in at her weakest. We don’t see her thank him, instead she looks disappointed he didn’t leave Nerv and pushes him to run away once more in ch.17. Him staying could mean she would lose the attention of the father figure in her life, Ikari, who happens to be Shinji’s real father. His father still ignores him, even after his return to the facility. He may have gotten the attention from Misato, but he has yet to recieve it from his father. Rei on the other hand recieves full devotion from Ikari, even diving into the flames to save the Eva pilot. What is the reason for Ikaris favoritism towards the girl? The reason can’t be due to their difference at controlling the Eva. Shinji doesn’t seem jealous, or at least not in the way one would expect. Instead he seems genuinely cruious as to the nature of their relationship.

Rei seems almost enamored with the commander, her endless faith is seen in strange outlets : Keeping a pair of his glasses, and criticizing Shinji “Can’t you have faith in your father”.

Before entering the Evangelion’s in what almost look like a suicide mission, Shinji asks Rei “why” she is a pilot. Rei claims that it’s her “link”. Without it, she is nothing. This is very similar to the existential questions Shinji was asking himself in Volume 2. Both are seen only as an asset to Nerv, as a pilot, not as a person. Rei in a way could be seen as Shinji in the future, one who has become almost apathetic and given up all semblance of individuality and self. Not being of any worth to Ikari is the same as “being dead”. Shinji reveals that, before being chosen to pilot the Eva, he didn’t care about anything. Describing it as “pretending to live”. Piloting the Eva may have been a good thing for Shinji. It’s hard to tell.

Shinji and Rei defeat the 5th angel but not without Unit 00 getting injured in the process. Shinji cries of joy after finding Rei unharmed in the pod. Rei is confused at the concept of crying or showing emotion, she doesn’t understand what she should be feeling at a time like this. However, guided by Shinji, Rei smiles. Perhaps in a way they complement each other, Shinji seeing someone who is in bleaker place than he is, inspires him to be more open. It seems they have found friendship in one another.

Volume 4 :

Quite an introduction of new character’s in volume 4. Asuka, the second child is seemingly the opposite of her colleagues, aggessive and loud. Not afraid to ask for what she wants, it’ll be interesting to see if Shinji and Rei adopt behavior from this new member, although it doesn’t seem like there lies any room for friendship between them. We also learn Shinji’s skill for the first time. Although he doesn’t hear it much, Shinji is a natural having defeated 3 angels with no prior Eva experience. Asuka brings up her having defeated the fourth and we catch a glimpse of what her character is going to be like. Shinji isn’t jealous at all, although he seems to be the only one the three who is not. It’s clear Asuka is striving to be the best pilot, as a result achieving all the attention from the adults of Nerv, and it manifests visibly in her behavior. It seems that Shinji has a small crush on Rei, I don’t believe it’s romantic in intention, rather Shinji is confusing the feelings of friendship with the opposite gender for romantic sentiment.

It seems even Asuka is capable of reading the mood, remaining silent as Shinji asks his father to lunch and is refused under the excuse of “work to do”. Shinji hates his father, or believes he does, hating is closer to love than apathy. Asuka on the other hand doesn’t even have a father, perhaps that explains the attachment she has to Kaji. Asuka is content without a parent (or says she is), hoping only to be congratulated for her accomplishments in defeating Angel’s. It seems piloting the Eva is the center point of these childrens lives, all of them basing their self worth upon it. Asuka’s loud behavior is nothing more than a cover ,after all, she is alike to Rei and Shinji in their torment. In a sudden display or maturity and maybe the realisation that they are not so different after all, Shinj and Asuka harmonize perfectly in order to defeat the Angel. Shinji was right in telling Asuka that there was no need to be fake around the others at Nerv, she is only 14 and shouldn’t take on any more pressure to be pefect than is alread placed upon them.

Volume 5 :

Asuka is a little more endearing after the end of Volume 4, I think she’s happy she made a friend who doesn’t want anything from her. She even asks Misato to move into his living quarters, although she plays it off as though she wasn’t the one to ask. Although she does go to great lengths to avoid revealing her “true personality” to Kaji, who seems to be the current father figure in her life. Although we learn that this behavior was put into place around her foster parents, perhaps a toxic environment? She does seem to open up after Misato and Kaji also tell her to “drop the act”.

After reentering the Eva, Rei describes a sort of “outer body” experience, she sees her body, her form, yet she feels detached. Almost as if it were no longer her body, or, similar to Shinji, that her body and mind are no longer connected. Shinji is conflicted, how can he continue politing the Eva if he hates his father, Rei encourages him to admit this to him. Which makes sense, yet, knowing Ikari, he would most likely be ignored. However, an attempt is better than nothing.

Ikari pretends to not know the anniversary of his wife, Shinji’s mother’s death yet is present the next day with flowers. Why does he want to widen the divide between his son and himself? To protect himself? Because Shinji reminds him of his wife? He tells Shinji to leave him, “only infant’s need their parent’s, and you are not an infant”. He wants him to live by his own strength, and, get over the lack of bond between them, just like he did with his own parents. Pretty bold considering Shinji is only 14 years old. “People are such sad creatures”. A hint is revealed towards Shinji’s mother’s death in ch.30, it seems she dies in one of the “mad scientist’s” experiments, having used her as a guinea pig and taking her life. The “mad scientist” refers to none other than Ikari.

I was correct in my prediction of Shinji’s “attraction” to Rei, more than a lover, Shinji describes her as “a part of me that was torn away a long time ago”. A spiritual connection. Someone who can relate to his pain.

Misato and Kaji, who it is revealed to be working for the Japanese Ministry of the Interior, come upon the first Angel, Adam. Kept secret by Ikari. He is displayed in a similar way to Jesus on the cross, perhaps shouldering the sins of all the Angels. Ironic.

Although Shinji pushes down his need for a parent, deep down he still longs for approval from his father. Ikari may be what looks like a twisted individual, yet he is still Shinji’s father, and it is difficult for Shinji to stop seeing him as such.

Ikari works for a secret society hidden behind Nerv called Seele, they own the “Dead Sea Scrolls” giving them access to the records of all of humanity : Past, present, and future. It seems Ikari has laid out a plan in accordance to the prophecies written in the scroll. The battle with the Angel’s is only the first step. Unlike popular belief, his mother was no test subject. Yui was the creator of the Evangelion series, “Eva from Adam”. Shinji saw her die, but repressed it to deep confines of his subconscious. Rei also knows of Adam, the first angel. Seen in action, perhaps the reason Ikari keeps her so close.

Volume 6 :

Shinji is unable to cope with this new information and the pressure to think with his own mind.Having lived his whole life “in hiding”, not looking away from the truth is an incredibly difficult task. A task that has now become his duty. He’s conflicted, does he really wanted to see these memories?

Kaji refuses Asuka’s feelings, insisting that she only “thinks” she loves him. After all he is “the best looking guy around”. In what I can only assume is an effort for him to accept her feelings, Asuka undresses in front of him. Who knows what will happen tomorrow, so why not confess to the one she can give her all. As he should, Kaji declines her feelings.

Intersting to see each of the children’s reactions to becoming an Eva pilot. Toji, a previously “2d” character is given some unprecedented depth when offered the position. Forced to accept due to the available treatment for his injured sister, he seeks out Shinji for advice. He’s afraid of piloting the Eva, like any 14y old would be, and I think Shinji recognizes himself for a moment in Toji. He also had a strong reaction when his father told him what he was called upon to do. In a moment of surprising maturity, Shinji comforts Toji, and, although they may be white lies, it works.

Already there are visible changes in Toji’s behavior, the loud and agressive boy is gone, replaced with a more pensive and melancholy individual. A little sad, especially with the knowledge that his teenage years will soon be robbed from him.

Tensions rise, it seems Eva 04 has been “taken over” by an angel. It is unclear, anyhow, this means that Shinji, Rei and Asuka will possibly have to fight one of their own. Although Ikari has commanded them to kill him, heartless. Rei also has a moment of hesitance when commanded to shoot. Shinji persists, trying, again and again to get Toji back. Even though he is on the brink of death, still Shinji persists. Preferring to die rather than harming a friend. However, there is only so much he can do. Ikari switches the controls to the dummy pilot, a simulated version of Shinji who takes the lead and fights with equal force against the attacker. It seems, giving a first hand seat to the death of one of his only friends. The inevitable occurs, I cannot begin to imagine the load of trauma this has blown onto Shinji, not only the renewed loathing of his father, but the equal amount of loathing to himself. For not having convinced Toji to quit, for not being able to control the Eva, all not valid reasons of course, yet Shinji’s reality.

Volume 7 :

Ending the previous tome on quite a rough ending, not looking forward to the downwards spiral of Shinji’s resentment.

Even after forcing his own son to kill a friend, Ikari remains the same, even going so far as to CRITICIZE his own son for his understable outburst. He doesn’t apologize or offer his condolences, truly despicable. Shinji vows to never pilot an Eva again, and calls into question the value of human life. If all lives are worth the same, how come lives like Toji’s have to be sacrificed, how many have to die to save another? He has now closed himself off completely, unable to even shed a tear for his late friend. His hatred for his father has already grown cold.

Rei is shutting herself in an even more endangering way, willing herself to pilot the Eva even if she is certain of dying. “There will be replacements”. (Side note : I love how the drawings have improved in the last few tomes. Great art).

Kaji tells Shinji of how, at a young age he betrayed his brother and friends to protect his own life, leading to their deaths. I think he told Shinji this to say that, although he blames himself, he is still alive. Although living only to seek punishment on those who caused the second impact, and, in the process avenging his brother. “Neither of us deserve to be happy, and Shinji, neither do you”, Kaji blames Shinji for Toji’s death, telling him that, if he had fought the angel sooner, he could have defeated the Unit and saved Toji. He claims they are alike, having traded another’s life for their own. “So how are you going to live that life, as if nothing happened.” Honestly shameless on Kaji’s part, clearly, manipulating the boy to return is only to continue the plan to investigate Nerv. Ironic how, by punishing those who caused the second impact, he essentially sacrifices another innocent life. Again, are all lives not worth the same?

In an attempt to save Nerv headquarters, Rei runs into the angel with a N2 explosive. She was serious. Her value as a pilot being the only thing she is seen as, she has internalized that she has no worth as a person. Therefore, her life is worth nothing.

Shinji returns to the Eva. Although it seems all is lost, his pure, unbridled rage causes him and the Unit to synch to over 400%. After this scene, Shinji is no longer shown. I believe this represents how there is no longer a “Shinji”. He and the Evangelion are one. He eats the Angel.

Volume 8 :

Chapter 49 is incredible in showing deep in Shinji’s psyche, I can’t explain it. He meets his mother, who has perhaps assimilated with Unit 01? She tells him to stay, to relax, Shinji explains he has to return and fight the enemy. She tells him he’s done enough. “You don’t have to go back, you can stay here. Forever.”Rei wishes on Shinji’s return, she no longer seems infatuated with Ikari, having made a real friend. Who managed to fill the void she was so afraid of. In a way, she is the one to bring him back. “I am you. You are myself. You are what used to be me.” Ch.51, I need to watch a video on this, I don’t think I understand all that is meant to be understood. I can try.Shinji meets his mother, father and him as an infant on the shore of an ocean. He tries, yet he cannot move towards them. She tells him he can come if he wants, or, “Is it that where you really want to go, isn’t where I am?” I believe this describes embracing life or death. Shinji is given the choice to remain with his mother in death, or, return to a place of “new beginnings”. His inability to move towards his mother represents his willingness to live. She explains that she will always watch over him, no matter what he chooses. He flies away.OK. I understand the interaction between Rei and the Evangelion. Rei is Shinji’s mother, in the sense that she contains a part of Yui. “I am you. You are myself”. Rei and the Evangelion each want Shinji, such as both want their “son” to return to them. “So then, why do you interfere?” Yui disappeared just like Shinji had, confirming my suspicions that she had fused with the Eva.Rei describes the growing attachment to Shinji, she asks to hold his hand, a little warmth goes a long way. Asuka’s foster parents were not toxic, she just doesn’t feel “comfortable”.

Volume 9 :

I’ve been looking forward to this part!! We’re finally getting introduced to Kaworu (or Tabris)!!

In a small flashback we get a glimpse at what Asuka’s childhood was like, and unsurprisingly, it looks awfully similar to Shinji. “Please look at me.” It seems that Asuka’s mother is conflicted with an illness (mental?) which has impacted her relationships with others. Asuka questions her worth, how “special” she really is. She recalls having only defeated only one angel alone, and how it always seemed to be Shinji who took the lead. “Invincible”. Truly shows how immature these kids are, Asuka fails to grasp the sacrifice and trauma that Shinji had to go through to defeat those angels. The pure emotion that allowed him to synchronize completely with the Eva, to the point that Seele is worried if Shinji will become a divine being. However, I cannot blame her, it is only natural to seek strength in a a world where that is all you are worth.

OK. Shinji picks up a stray cat and comes upon Kaworu. They introduce each other and head towards the Junior High. Shinji puts down the cat and yells at it to stop following him : “I can’t take care of you!”. Kaworu picks up the cat, and kills it. I’m going to try to explain what I understood from that scene. Both wanted to get rid of the cat, Shinji, chose to yell and potentially run away. I believe this represents Shinji’s reaction when faced with something he doesn’t “want”. He knows the cat will die if left alone, yet, he would rather leave and let the cat die (of what assume is starvation) than have to face the fact that he directly caused his death, even if it could be seen as mercy. A representation of Shinji remaining unwilling to face the things he keeps hidden inside. In comes Kaworu. He argues that, as the cat had no one to take care of it it would starve, and therefore, is killing it now and sparing it a painful death not more merciful? This is a definite parallel to Shinji’s battle with Toji. Toji would have died anyway, and, in killing him immediately, he could possible ease his suffering. However, Shinji refused to take any action against Toji, choosing instead to die over taking the life of a friend. Same as with the kitten. Kaworu represents the dummy overload that took over the Eva, killing Toji instead of Shinji, rather, “doing the dirty work”. I believe it is explained that Kaworu is an angel, Tabris to be precise, so that would be a bit more obvious parallel to the situation (Shinji = Eva pilot, Kaworu = Dummy overload).

It seems that Asuka is less skilled in synching with the Eva as she is resolute in seeing at as an unfeeling machine. Shinji is successful in “opening his heart” to the Eva and therefore can easily fuse into one. I believe this is also linked to the fact that his own mother’s “soul” is floating around inside the Eva. EVERY SINGLE PILOT WOULD RATHER DIE THAN FAIL AT THEIR MISSION. WOW. Asuka is submitting herself to this “raping of the soul” for the slim chance that she can win against the angel, not even slim, microscopic.

Asuka’s back story has officially been revealed! Her mother incapable of having a child with the man she loved, goes to an elite sperm back after her husband has an affair with another woman that ends in a child. After a psychological break, Asuka’s mother begins treating a doll as if it were here own child, even though the real Asuka is right there. “The heart isn’t filled as easily as the womb”. Asuka is torn with self doubt, if the doll is Asuka, then who is she? Asuka’s mother goes as far as to attempt murder on the young girl, strangling her then hanging herself in the same night. Asuka has had everything taken away from her, her own mother deeming her as not enough to live for. The mental probe of the angel looks for an angle to tear down the pilot from inside their psyche, for Asuka, the target is clear. Remind her of how utterly alone she is, how even the only thing she has for herself, being a good pilot, is not even good enough anymore. If she is no longer a pilot, who is she? Apparently nothing. The confrontation with the Angel leaves her mentally still, in a way, dead. At least until further recovery.

Volume 10 :

After being penetrated (that’s what they call it) by the angel, Rei faces herself, or rather, the “Angel” version of herself in what seems to be her subconscious. The angel asks her to become one with it, yet Rei refuses. “I am me. I am not you”, similar interaction with Yui in ch.49. Rei is a clone, so emotions are most likely much harder to create. She seems almost surprised when the Angel points out that her heart is in pain. Rei says the angel is also lonely, that it is jealous of them who have others to seek comfort in. The angel attempts to make her weaker, it brings up the selfishness she has towards Shinji, she wants him for herself. For Shinji to only look at her, not at Asuka, whom she finds hateful. Rei cries, although she is unaware of herself being the one to cry. These emotions are new to her, and we are watching her discover them in real time.

Rei kills herself in order to repress the Angel and save Shinji. In her last moments, she doesn’t see Shinji, instead, she sees Ikari.

Shinji doesn’t even cry after witnissing Rei’s death, although she was the person with whom he was the closest. Shinji has lost every single person in his life, one after the other. Just like he had previously described, he has become a shell of whom he once was. If he ever “was” at all. NEVERMIND. He does cry. He doesn’t go home, afraid of having to confront Misato and make Rei’s death a reality. Again with Shinji refusing to face his inner torment.

In an attempt to calm Shinji’s hyperventilation, Kaworu kisses him on the mouth. After, he questions Shinji on what it is to love. Kaworu being an angel, he has never been subject to emotions, much less “love”. Kaworu describes feeling a strange sensation ever since their contact with the angel. I believe one of the comment’s was correct in assuming that, Rei’s love for Shinji having been so strong, it traveled through the penetrative angel into Kaworu, who is now blessed, or cursed, with a taste of humanity.

REI IS ALIVE! However it seems she has no memory of the battle. She calls herself the third. Third impact? She doesn’t seem to be herself. It seems Rei has been reset? She cries upon seeing Ikaris glasses, yet she is supposed to be seeing them for the first time. “Why..Am I crying.”

One after the other Ikari replaces the women in his life, he’s pitiful. Rei is the core to the dummy system. “People found a god, and in their folly tried to possess it. And so retribution was visited upon mankind.”

Volume 11 :

Shinji has officially lost everyone, Asuka has become a shell, the Rei he once knew died in trying to save him. Even with Kaworu’s persistence he refuses to be friends with him. He would rather remain alone than face the pain of losing another friend. Kaworu is desperate to be liked by Shinji, it’s rather strange.

AH. It seems Ikari’s ulterior motive is to gain equal power to God. Disobeying Steele if it means brining him closer to this goal.

Should Shinji stop Kaworu, if that means preventing the third impact? Yet, is allowing a new world of peace to be born not the right choice? Kaworu asks Shinji to killl him. Although he has been created for the only sake of causing the Third Impact, he has kept his own will. If it is his will, he can choose to defy destiny. The only absolute liberty left for Kaworu is to choose his way of death. He brings allusion to the cat. Shinji has become Kaworu, he must now face himself and kill kaworu with his own hand. He cannot turn away. A lifetime of running away has come to an end. Shinji must kill Kaworu because it is his true will, he is afraid of the guilt that will plague him and not the life in his hands. Kaworu and Shinji have reached mutual understanding. Shinji is the only one who can, and he shall.

Shinji doesn’t know what he is protecting any longer, is the world without those he vowed to save a place worth protecting?

He goes to visit Asuka in the hospital and finds her in the same place she’s been for the last few months. Gone. He yells at her to wake up, return to who she once was. He needs someone to protect, to fight for. In response Asuka awakes to assault and choke him, simulating what her mother had once done to her. I like the path the anime took instead and I like the analysis this user wrote about it :

“The opening scene of EoE is one of the most ingenious scenes in all of Eva, and I’m gonna try to explain why I feel that way. (SPOILERS DUH) So why does Shinji masturbate over Asuka in the beginning of the movie? It’s because he doesn’t know how to make decisions for himself. He never acts of his own free will, and is constantly driven to do what other people want him to do in an effort to make them like him (he is entirely selfless for very selfish reasons), but by this point in his life he has nobody left to turn to. His father wants nothing to do with him, and Misato and Rei now terrify him, so he turns to Asuka out of desperation (who normally would be the last person he would turn to because he is under the impression that she hates him more than anybody else.) He’s so desperate in fact, that he tries to wake her up in her comatose state, telling her to even "call him an idiot like always”, the thing that he normally least wants to hear, though he likely knows that his attempts are of no use. This is his final cry for help, so when he exposes her breasts and she still doesn’t wake up, this is when he knows he is utterly alone and must make decisions on his own, but since he has no experience making decisions and doesn’t feel qualified to do so, he can only rely on his instincts, and his instincts at that moment pretty much go like this; see breasts, get horny, jerk off. He doesn’t care about the repercussions or the guilt he will later feel. After he does this, he says “I’m so fucked up”, the only time the f-bomb is ever dropped in Eva, to further drive home the shock of the scene, and so that we know the guilt Shinji feels immediately afterwards, and it contributes to his depressed state throughout the rest of the film.

It also serves a purpose at the end of the film. During instrumentality, everybody is formed into one being, allowing people to look into the minds of others, and during this time, Asuka looks into Shinji’s mind and learns what he did in the hospital (it’s also during this time that she learns that he actually does have feelings for her, and he just did not know how to communicate it.) The final line “how disgusting”, despite having many meanings, is meant to reinforce the fact that she knows what he did, but this line comes after she caresses Shinji’s face. This one, simple motion tells us that, despite knowing what Shinji did, she still loves him and has come to terms with it. On a side note, the semen on his hand is meant to parallel the shot of the blood on his hand from the first episode, with the blood representing death, and the semen representing life.“

Volume 12 :

Shinji no longer cares for his own life, he has reached the point of such apathy that even in the face of immediate life-threatening danger he remains still. He’s ready for it to be over. Only to be saved, surprisingly by his own father.

Finally, Shinji stands up against his own father. His father offers to tell him those words he has been wishing to hear since the beginning, yet they are both aware of how hollow they are. Since the beginning, Ikari has never loved Shinji, who, once he was born took Yui away from him. She was his reason for living, his hope. Why does God give to take? Everything in the world will be taken away, as will the human race in the third impact. Ikari strives to become God in order to reenact revenge upon the very God that took away his only need. He and Shinji are more alike than ever : “If you truly hate this world like me, Join me in seeking revenge.”

Both Misato and Ikari push Shinji to return to the Eva, regardless of Shinji’s moral limits. Shinji has no one to fight for anymore, the only thing driving him has always been to protect others, yet, when there is no longer anyone, what does he fight for? He has never felt control in himself, being used by others since the beginning. Misato tells him “If you want to take control over your life, pilot the Eva for yourself.”

Asuka finally gains the closure she needed to move on, although she comes in the form of an apparition, her mother fishes her out of the pit of despair Asuka has been living in. Maybe she can finally live for herself, as Asuka. Her “real” mother is in the Eva with her, which allows Asuka to fully synchronize with her Unit.

Misato tells Shinji to pick his own path from now on, he can no longer cower behind himself and await for others to make decisions for him. He needs to make the next step by himself. “What you yourself want to do from now on.” He needs to find the answer alone. She kisses Shinji, I don’t believe in a “romantic” way, at least not for her. She kisses him to show him that he is now an adult, he has progressed into a new world where he must now fight for himself and his own choices, not those of the adults around him.

Shinji’s first decision as himself is to protect Asuka. Asuka calls Shinji stupid for taking so long to help her, she’s back. In what seems to be the end, Ikari tells Rei to guide his hand to Yui. Her body rejects his hand, the one she remembers is not his.

Rei betrays Ikari and becomes a God.

Volume 13 :

All future lies in the hands of Ikari. I’m not writing an analysis for this volume.

[mangareview]

Stardust Memories - Story 2

91/100

The next story begins straight away with a visual of a large tree, surrounded by vegetation. I believe as an intentional parallel to the void of space we were presented with in the previous chapter, more specifically, the large ship surrounded by nothingness in the first panel. An illusion that is short lived, as it is revealed to be a nightmare induced by the shock of awakening from hibernation.

I feel like these chapters are so short which increases the pressure to read into every single panel. Which leaves me worrying if I've missed out on an important aspect if I haven't found anything.

We meet Dr. Roshwald, a reserved, almost apathetic type of man who we learn is the creator of spacial discovery robots, responsible for the loss of many jobs yet the saving of many lives. He supposedly has "heart problems" which may be trivial but which I believe is a dig towards the physical limitations we have as a species. Although equality in the world of the living is an incredulous belief, mankind is reunited as one in death.

Although Gemini II's mission resulted in the death of the crew, it seems to have ultimately finished with success. Gemini II sounds familiar, perhaps the ship in the previous chapter?

Due to the crash and contact with the alien yet superior genes, the planet has become lush with vegetation and as a result, alien life forms. The crew members begin to panic and Roshwald describes the "aliens" as "nothing but monsters", which I find ironic. The irony here being that the alien species is clearly primitive, which leaves open the possibility for further evolution. Now, if sent back into time to meet with our prehistoric ancestors would we refer to them as "monsters"? Unlikely. So why is this alien species immediately classified into the category of "monstrosity"? Aside from the fact that they are an immediate threat, there wouldn't be a very good reason aside from falsely admitting that our species is the most evolved in the Universe. As of now, nothing is stopping another alien species dropping down onto Earth and gasping at our rudimentary planet. Of course, this is a purely hypothetical way of looking at things and I completely understand the natural human instinct to fear the unknown. Especially when the unknown stems partly from ourselves.

Roshwald offers an explanation for the alien life form found on the planet, originating from the project "Reconnaissance Dissemination" in which cloned humans would explore the Universe without the burden of family connections back on Earth. The project was discontinued to the ethical argument that cloned humans are still humans yet many operations like this one resulted in the death of the clones on board the ship.

Apart from the supposed "spiritual connections" between the clones and their original bodies, I believe a very interesting argument is presented, an argument that can be found in other works in this type of media (Gantz for example). The argument, or rather the question of what makes us human?

Appearance? Empathy? The fact of having been born from a woman's womb? Is a clone a human if he is created alike to his creator? Are robots?

They refer to them as "disposable humans" but do these humans not have their own existence? Their own memories?

Apart from physical appearance what ties us together as a species? What makes us human?

[mangareview]

Stardust Memories Story -1

95/100

A short prequel to this manga describes it as a "compilation of short stories on man after he has traveled deep into space", perhaps tackling how man, a creature made on Earth, will tackle the sights of the Universe that he was never made to witness.

Johan begins his story describing himself as an "ordinary, normal human", almost as if he has something to prove. He looks forward to returning to Earth, which leads me to believe that his time away from his planet has created a disconnect between himself and the rest of his species, perhaps leading him to question his own humanity.

Given a little more context, we see the effect that space on other humans : suicidal tendencies, violent and addictive behavior... To no surprise, humans aren't adapting well to the lack of stimuli presented to them after months spent in the black void of space. The men on the ship fight over things like changing virtual scenery, clinging with all their might to the memories that remain of their home.

We meet Trinity, a peculiar case who didn't feel the need to enter his "hibernation pod" once during the 4 month trial period, preferring to "listen to the stars" with whom he is trying to communicate, albeit not very effective.

The ships began malfunctioning and man's single urge to survive kicks in. Men, scrambling over each other to obtain a suit which will potentially get them rescued if they sit in the void long enough. When all else fails, delusion is a temptress that is ever present.

However, thanks to Trinity, all is well, and we are given a little more incite to the duty that the "Muse" ship was sent out to complete. Trinity and his female companion shall remain in the stars for thousands of years, sending the messages of the stars back down to Earth.

The chapter concludes with a reference to the beginning, with Johan describing himself and the rest of his species as "plain old, ordinary humans". Rather than a comfort or reassurance, this time there seems to be a hint of dissatisfaction, disappointment. As though humans as we are will never be evolved enough to explore the confines of the Universe ourselves, and will forever rely on those of our own creation to tell those stories to us. Perhaps this is a message telling us to "stay in our lane", just as a fish cannot climb a tree, we cannot live in Space without violating the Universe's natural order.

I find it interesting that the author chose to illustrate Trinity and his companion as blond with blue eyes, almost mimicking the traditional description of purity, or perhaps an angel, which is later confirmed in a description by Johan. Or perhaps a reference to the "superior race" as described by Nazi ideology during WW2, blond with blue eyes. "Superior", "Divinity", such contrast to the rugged dark-haired men on the ship, they are meant to be better than us in every way. "Plain old human" suggests that there is a better version of human out there, which is embodied by Trinity and the new species he will create. However, can we still refer to them as human? Of course they resemble us in appearance, yet they seem to differ in every other way. It isn't clear who or what Trinity is but I believe he is meant to be a reference to how our own creations will one day surpass us.

[mangareview]

Togari

76/100

Already we meet who can only assume is the infamous “Tobe”, sent to hell to repent from the “bottom of his heart” for the hundred’s of sins commited at the low age of 16. He doesn’t seem to lose faith in his escape, harrowing against those keeping him in this pit of torture. A goddess of some sort descends and informs him that he may leave only if he gathers the sins committed by humans back on Earth. Of course he accepts, he seems a little “two-dimensional”, perhaps we’ll be given more depth as the story continues.

We also meet Itsuki, a girl with a powerful sense of justice after her father’s murderer was never found. We see only a glimpse at the cruelty of mankind, which is a popular subject in Japonese literature. She wonders if there is no “friend of justice”, which realistically, no, there isn’t. The world is a cruel place woth rarely any cosmic “Karma” punishing evildoers. Although he does come to aid her, Togari is far from what can be considered a “friend of justice”. As being a criminal himself, any hit he bestows upon the criminal will be returned upon him with the same force. Thanks to the sword Tob can see the physical apparition of the “Sin”, protecting the criminal and urging them deeper into the path of evil. I’m not sure if I like this concept because I feel like in a way it absolves the criminal of his crimes, as hough his actions were beyond his control.

We get a little insight into Tobe with a flashback, a rough childhood, persecuted for how little he had. “If you want to survive, you must fight”. Itsuki gives him a taste of gratitude, as even though it was for the wrong reasons, he still helped someone in need.

For now Tobe’s priorities are clear and have no ambiguity, collect souls in order to be freed from his sentence. Dogman on the other hand must grapple with his definition of “evil”, can people not change? Is it okay for new sins to be committedin order to maintain his mission?

It was a good idea to make unable to hurt humans, although for now the repurcussions are only physical, it won’t take long for this to translate to a physcological reaction, almost like training a dog. Which is a little inhumane.

Overall felt a little superficial, kinda boring so not a big fan...

[mangareview]

Homunculus

100/100

A parallel is drawn between the man in the car and that of a fetus in it's mother's womb. Perhaps drawing a link on how, regardless of the man's physical age, he remains a child? We learn that he's homeless, living in his car going by the name "car boy". The look in his eyes is empty, he seems tormented. Even though he's homeless he seems different than the others, he looks clean, put together. One wouldn't assume he was living out of his car.

A man feeds the birds and throws a rock at the crow that walks among them, a metaphor perhaps on how society treats those in need, casting them aside as if they were a different species.

"You can't think of a machine as a machine. In today's world people are more machines than machines are."

He leaves the dinner and throws up in the public toilet. It's revealed he's been telling every one of them a different story on who he. was before ending up at the park. The men comment on the way he parks his car, too afraid to "jump into their world", accept himself as one of them. Instead he wanders, lying to cover up his truth, that's their point of view. Car boy's accent and demeanor changes once he goes back to his car : "I ain't like them". Is he really not like them, or is the delusion of a lost man, clinging to the pride he has left after he's lost it all. He questions who he is, who does he belong to, "better" than those below the line of sight, and inferior those above, maintaining a perfect harmony between the two.

His daily drive ends up at the ocean where stares in silence. Is this a further effort to differentiate himself further from his homeless peers, giving him something to do? He prioritizes driving over everything else, even basic needs. Truly his last string holding him from drowning below the line of sight.

He refuses an offer for Trepination, only to accept a day later once his car is towed away. They choose him for his equal seperation between the world of the living and the dead. The higher and the lower. Losing the car almost feels like he's lost a part of himself, it's uncomfortable, makes us uneasy seeing him in such pain, but that's the point. The butler at the hotel refers to him as Mr. Nakoshi, he seems to have been a regular guy before losing everything.

Honestly I had such trouble understanding this and I think some of the most important factors went right over my head. It doesn't change how much I loved this read, for sure one of my favorites that will get a reread once I get a little smarter.

[mangareview]

Aku No Hana

96/100

Volume 1 :

Already we’re introduced to Kasuga, timid, lacking in confidence, not very smart. Seems to have a little superiority complex when it comes to his knowledge on Baudelaire and other classics. He refers to Saeki as his muse, his femme fatale.

At the same time Nakamura seems a little deranged, erratic, she insults the teacher with no provocation and leaves her answers blank.

He steals Saeki’s gym clothes in a moment of panic and refers to them as The flowers of Evil, the title of hos favorite book by Baudelaire. The Flowers of Evil is a book of poems that is a confession of hopes, dreams, failures, and sins. It attempts to extract beauty from the Malignant. Perhaps him referring to the gym clothes is a reference to the beauty he finds in this embodiment of lust and guilt that is the gym clothes.

After the announcement that Saeki’s gym clothes have been stolen, Kasuga begins his trip into isolation from the guilt and disgust he feels towards himself for stealing the clothes. In retrospect, Kasuga could have avoided this entire situation by making up an easy lie yet he lacks the confidence. He refers to himself as a sinner, promising to repent for this one sin for as long as he lives, which we can admit this does not fit the crime. We see a “flower of evil” bloom from Kasuga’s head.

Already Kasuga feels an isolation towards others, he admits to Nakamura that he “doesn’t understand normal people”, or is that he doesn’t want to? Nakamura threatens him with revealing that he is the thief if she doesn’t do her bidding. It begins. However he flees, leaving behind his bike.

Kasuga believes he will be essentially shunned from society for this “crime” yet he wishes to return the clothes to Saeki regardless to avoid falling into depravity. Yet he backs out, too afraid of the consequences. The longer he waits, the longer the rumors begin to spread and the guilt worsens.

At the moment Nakamura is what appears to be the polar opposite of Kasuga. She’s confident, knows what she wants, a little too much so. She forces him into a “contract” in which he must do what she asks, the flower of evil is intertwined around her.

Kasuga blames the clothes for existing, leading to his current situation that has visibly escalated way out of hand. He tries to deflect responsibility, although temporarily onto someTHING else, notice he doesn’t blame Nakamura. He attempts to rid himself of the clothes but is stopped by the paranoia of the townspeople watching him as of they were aware, or cared for that matter of his supposed crime.

The guilt is shifted onto a supposed “suspicious looking man” which means the attention is no longer on Kasuga. However, Kasuga berates himself for this so-called “sin” yet continues to use the clothes to satisfy his need tk get closer to Saeki. Nakamura seems to be enthralled with Kasuga’s lust for Saeki, demanding he write an essay for when he crashed into her breasts. As he attempts to distence himself from being a “sexual being” or “pervert”, Nakamura tries to push him into this role. After forcing him to wear the gym clothes Nakamura admits to being a “pervert” herself. She describes a sadness inside her as worms that she would like to expulse out into the world. Kasuga is spineless and his lack of willpower makes him fall into this “contract” with Nakamura without fighting back in any way whatsoever.

Nakamura continues to harass Kasuga into admitting his arousal when coming into contact with Saeki, perhaps she feels like she can’t feel normal attraction herself which leads her to want to live vicariously through Kasuga.

Interesting, although Kasuga is normally so weak willed, he stands up for Nakamura when she is falsely accused of theft. Perhaps feeling the guilt of having let the previous man take the blame, or afraid that Nakamura may reveal the truth if provoked. Although he later regrets this act of bravery, Saeki approaches him in order to congratulate him for his bravery. He writes a poem about the events that he places alongside the gym clothes in a taped box, although he denies him being a “pervert” it’s really starting to look like he is one…

Kasuga is afraid of Nakamura, the influence she has over him is strange, almost like a parent. He is afraid of Nakamura learning his relationship with Saeki. Even so, his love for Saeki overpowers his fear of Nakamura and he asks her out on a date, which she accepts. That night he sleeps on the floor, a punishment for himself? Who knows.

Again, Nakamura seems elated that Kasuga has grown closer to Saeki, almost like her pet has made a friend. She “makes” him promise to bring Saeki’s gym clothes to his date the next day claiming that he would regret it for the rest of his life if he didn’t do as she said. What could he possible regret for the rest lf his life? Stealing the gym clothes is odd, but it’s not a crime. Kasuga is so afraid of confrontation that he is letting this girl control every aspect of his life.

She brings him to the female toilet and forces him to wear Saeki’s gym clothes underneath his real clothes. It seems like she’s going through the process of completely emasculating him. I’ll admit she’s pretty scary. She wants to see “A true pervert that would burn the town to ash”, the pervert chosen being none other than Kasuga. She also wants to peel off his skin? Is that a metaphor for his conscious meaning she wants to access the deepest parts of his mind? Or is it literal in that she wants to see if the anatomy of a “pervert” is different? Is she just insane?

Volume 2 :

Kasugi's first date is expected to be ruined by the unhelpful hand of Nakamura, not only that, she is following them the entire time. He see's her as unpredictable, and, a little like us all, is unable to determine what is driving her to commit these deranged acts.

Although forced to wear Saeki's gym clothes, Kasugi doesn't let that water down his pure interest in classic literature, so much so that it seems Saeki is a little lost but not uninterested. Perhaps she feels an attraction to someone who is so true to themselves. Yet if only she knew. If Kasugi was really "true to himself" he would admit to being a pervert which would break Nakamura's grip on his conscience.

Nakamura drags him out to remind him of his true nature : The pervert. She tries to bring out the "animal" in him, looking for anything that can get a rise, notably the fact that he is wearing Saeki's clothes under his own.

"Nakamura hints at an emotional association between disgust for humanity and sexual desire, even puberty. Kasuga mirrors this in his own desperate grasp for romantic “purity” in his adoration of Saeki. He denies any lust toward her, instead holding a traditional, perfect image . Nakamura, in turn, attempts to get him to abandon this philosophy and admit his sexuality."

She references stripping off another layer of his skin by making him promise to kiss Saeki by the end of their date. It is revealed what Nakamura meant by "peeling off his skin", she meant the skin that Kasugi hides behind, not only in denying his sexual feelings towards Saeki, but his lack of self-confidence and fear of confrontation. She wants him to confront his perversity whether voluntarily or not. However, Kasugi doesn't follow through and powers on with his "perfect" image of Saeki, asking her to go out in a "purely platonic way", this puts into words the fear Kasugi has of his own lust and desire.

This doesn't please Nakamura who dumps a bucket on his head and forces him to flee, the water reveals the uniform under Kasugi's clothes. This could perhaps reference the power that Nakamura has over Kasugi to reveal "who he really is" whenever she so chooses, as she reveals the gym clothes (the inner layer) under Kasugi's clothes (outer layer). Nakamura doesn't want Kasugi to have platonic or even romantic feelings towards Saeki, she wants pure, unadulterated lust. Something she can control.

Although he still doubts if he is truly good enough for the "goddess" Saeki, Kasugi believes he has changed from who he was 2 days ago. Sure...

Nakamura gets closer to Saeki in order to reveal to Kasugi the truth behind the innocent image of Saeki he has forced upon himself. "Her inner self". Although it's easy to assume what Nakamura means by this "inner self" of Saeki, Kasugi is resolute in barring himself from anything sexual being associated with Saeki, much less from her.

Saeki has infected Kasugi’s mind like a virus, implanting the idea of Saeki as a sexual being or rather bringing back her humanity opposed to godlike perfection. He can’t even fathom that Saeki has sexual thoughts or tendencies, in a way this way of thinking is detrimental to Kasugi’s outlook on women and sexuality. The idea that being the “perfect woman” means having an angel like innocence. Which is an un achievable goal in itself. This is not helped by Nakamura who hammers into his brain that sexuality is inherently associated with perversion and literal trash.

A theory might be that Saeki and Nakamura bith represent the extremes of an unhealthy relationship with sex, one is obsession the other repression.

There’s a big theme of honesty present as well, Saeki is under the false impression that Kasuga is truthful to himself and others on who he is, part of the reason she fell in love with him. Saeki pleads with him to tell her everything, perhaps in the hopes that if he reveals his flaws to her, she will be more confident in her own flaws. The ironic thing is, the truth Kasugi is so afraid of isn’t really that bad. Saeki clearly has a lot of esteem for him and seems fully capable of understanding the entirety of what happened. But Kasugi is a coward and weak willed which will most likely lead to him being forced to commit worse actions later on that won’t be forgiven so easily.

However the shame of his sins is unbearable to him, so much so he pleads with Nakamura to reveal the truth to Saeki, absolving him of the responsibility of coming clean himself.

Nakamura agrees and brings Kasugi to the classroom to write down his “sins” on the board for the whole class to see the next morning. He breaks down and admits to wanting to be “normal”, a clean and respectable person for Saeki. Nakamura also breaks down more in rage than despair. Kasugi is just like everyone else “Just spewing out pretty words, Inside, all of you…Sex Sex! In the end fucking sex is all you want!!”

She agrees to end the contract and leave but Kasugi holds her back. His contradicting fear of being “normal” overpowers his fear of being revealed as a pervert.

As he writes on the board she spurs him on, more, more, “Dump it out, your inner self”. They go insane, writing on the walls with black ink : literally and figuratively pouring out their inner selves.

Volume 3 :

After their crime, the pair are closer than ever. Typical after two people go through something traumatic or exhilarating, they associate that rush with each other and therefore create an attachment. Although Kasugi is worried, he doesn't seem to be the same panicky, "wimpy" person he was only a few chapters ago. There's a certain calmness to him, acceptance perhaps with a tinge of melancholy. Nakamura however, in what is perhaps a moment of mercy, had painted over his name on the board with black ink. Most likely to keep him in her grasp for a little longer.

Kasugi attempts to break up with Saeki. However, in an unexpected twist, Saeki reveals having discovered that Kasugi was behind the vandalism and the gym clothes yet still she pleads with him to not leave her.

Kasugi is extremely confused on how Saeki can continue to like him after everything he's done. Once again, he fails to see Saeki as a human being with human emotions, seeing her through the lense of purity and innocence. Several times in moments of overwhelming crisis, Kasugi describes wanting to "run far way" to a town where no one knows him. This represents in a way his continuous fear of confrontation and truth, preferring to flee than face the music.

Saeki shows up at his house in an attempted intervention, she confirms once more that she doesn't dislike him because of what he's done, rather that he neglected to tell her. She wants to be the one Kasugi confides in, not Nakamura.

Everything is revealed as Kasugi's mother discovers the dirty clothes and once again, he takes the only path he knows how : Escape. Going right back to where he started by Nakamura. She tries to get him to escape with her, leaving the town behind in destination for the mountain on the horizon. She claims he has nothing left here, his secrets are revealed, nowhere to go back to.

Perhaps he is so afraid of Saeki because she represents the unknown, she represents forgiveness and confidence. As for Nakamura, she may represent all that is evil, but she is comfortable just as sadness or depression is a comfort in it's own. The comfort of wallowing in your own sadness and disgust.

As Nakamura and Kasugi sit in the rain on the side of the road, we see Kasugi slowly fall deeper into self-loathing. The title of "pervert" is often used to describe something vile, illegal, off-putting. Kasugi associating that with himself, or finally accepting himself as that means that he believes that he is so far gone that he can longer be a normal member of society. On the other hand we see Saeki searching for Kasugi, resolute in not giving up on them. She's crushed as to why Kasugi decided to return to Nakamura.

Nakamura drags him to the lowest in front of Saeki, stripping him and revealing the figurative grasp Saeki's gym clothes have had on his heart since he acquired them. Despite all this, Saeki doesn't recoil in disgust, she truly wants to know every facet behind Kasugi. And once again, as Nakamura threatens to leave him to "live his life as a fucking worm" he pushes everything aside in order to return to her side.

In the end he must decide between crossing into the other side alongside Nakamura, or returning to the town with Saeki. Kasugi's speech is pretty self explanatory but very important to his development. And, for the first time we see Nakamura show an emotion other than malice. She seems genuinely hurt that Kasugi can not make a decision, or perhaps that Kasugi is a boy just like any other.

I wonder if there's a meaning to the repetitive insult of the word "worm"...

Volume 4 :

The 4th volume begins in summer and starts off with a sentence I find pretty interesting given the contect : "Sun that will burn even the shadows", most likely a metaphor for Kasugi no longer being able to hide in the shadows once his secret has been revealed.

Things have gone back to how they once were, however slightly worse. Kasugi has become quite literally "hollow" as he described himself in his speech in volume 3. A guilty shell of a person, apologizing for everything. In addition he's neglecting himself, refusing to eat and puking in his room at night. Almost as if the town were killing him, closing in on him slowly, choking the life out of him.

He sees himself in a field of "flowers of evil", Nakamura stands in the center accusing him of going back on their promise to adventure to the other side of the mountain. He realizes that, although Saeki is self -sufficient, Nakamura can't possibly live the rest of her life by her self, especially when she "believed in him". His version of the events has become completely twisted, forgetting the sexual and emotional torment she put him through.

He runs after her and forces her to listen to the composition he wrote, even as she is running away. I believe Kasugi is afraid of Nakamura leaving him because if she leaves, he truly has no one.

On the way over to her house he sees his old friends walking home from school and he seems almost envious, the self-deprecating box he's put himself in means he can no longer live a normal life as a teenage boy.

Kasugi visits Nakamura's home while she is away and ventures into his room and finds her notebook which is extremely revealing on her character. As I previously assumed Nakamura saw Kasugi as an experiment, it was more like she saw a companion. Kasugi is a pervert "just like her". A fellow pervert in a sea of shitheads. The final page is a single sentence : "I couldn't go to the other side...couldn't go." "I couldn't go to the other side...couldn't go." What was stopping her? The fear of going alone? or the fear of the unknown. It's clear she has some sort of mental illness that explains her volatile anger but not her obsession with perversion, some speculate it may be an illness on the schizophrenia branch.

Kasugi has sacrificed what was left of his social standing to convince Nakamura to wait for him to take her to the other side. He desperately wants another "contract", perhaps because he has so little trust in himself and making his own decisions he needs the comfort of no longer having to do so via the "contract".

In passing, Kasugi has lost his interest for books, or rather "his need". After admitting that he only liked the thrill of reading the books and didn't truly understand them. Someone who is "hollow" doesn't need distractions such as books or friends. "I will do it. I will find a place for Nakamura to smile. And that place is the other side."

In a grand gesture, Kasugi goes into the girl's locker room during gym class and steals all the girls underwear. I believe this is perhaps a metaphor for Kasugi forcing himself out of this "skin" that Nakamura criticized him for being trapped in. Could this be an allusion to the wrongful association of sex with maturity, Kasugi is forcing himself to commit a "sexual" act in order to fulfill his duty as "pervert" yet the reason he's committing the act isn't too fulfill his sexual desires... He has convinced himself that this is what he wants.

Although they cannot escape from the town, Kasugi has created a shelter, an "oasis" of perversion for the both of them. The underwear already surrounding them, nothing is off limits, there is no need to hide when everything is in plain sight.

Nakamura finally agrees to this "contract" and Kasugi ascends into ecstasy. In what seems like an obvious parallel, the next scene is Saeki in tears, "I cannot bear to be alone anymore." Kasugi not stealing her underwear is in her mind the capital offence.

They show the flower of evil surrounded by darkness, representing the refuge they've found in the shack surrounded by an ocean of darkness.

Kasugi begins pulling "perverted" pranks around school in order to push away Nakamura's boredom, and it's working. The pair seem closer than ever. There's almost a sort of sexual tension surrounding their relationship now, one I hadn't noticed during their first act of vandalism.

As we see more of Saeki we see how little she actually resembled the angel like image Kasugi had given her. She's actually a little insane, toying around with Kasugi when one's first instinct would have been to go to the police. Kasugi admits to being a fool, fully conscious of his willingness to follow Nakamura wherever she may go.

Volume 5 :

We learn a little more of Saeki's infatuation with Kasugi, she sees him as the only one to see the "real" her. Her friend is right in saying she in love with the idea of love and obsession rather than Kasugi as a person. They show a bug being eaten by ants, perhaps to show how she is succumbing to madness like fruit to an ant.

It feels like Kasugi's design has changed, his hair has grown longer and looks older. Most likely to reflect the changes inside. Saeki calls Kasuga to the shack and tells him there is no such thing as "the other side", she then propositions to sleep with him. Perhaps the only way she knows to get close to him. She wants to prove to him that she's a human, flesh and blood. "People have to do it, to keep on living". After he continues to refuse, she forces himself on him. The irony is blinding, the so-called "perverts" refusing sex from the emblem of innocence. Saeki rapes him, in the process taking his virginity. We can feel the horror Kasugi feels as she assaults him, it's an unsettling experience. He manages to push her off, confessing his love for Nakamura. Saeki burns down the cabin and tells Nakamura they've had sex.

In a culmination of emotions, Saeki slaps Nakamura across the face, for always looking down on her, taking away Kasugi, karmic interference. Instead of fighting back, she runs into her arms embracing her. She tells her to let it out, reveal herself. Saeki admits to the pain of wanting to be Nakamura. Which is when Nakamura deals the final blow, "You've got less substance to you than a fucking fly. Someone like you could never understand, even up until your final breath".

For once, Nakamura is the voice of reason, "Where is this all going? I don't want to die". Kasugi is the one to cling to past dreams. Nakamura is leaving him behind once more.

Volume 6/7 :

Kasugi has fallen into an endless pit of insanity in the goals of making Nakamura "smile". As punishment, Kasugi is banned from exiting the house. In response, he accuses his father of being another fly on the dung pile, following suit to his mother and society's moods. "What is les fleurs du mal".

For once Saeki shares with Kasugi a good piece of wisdom. "Where did I go wrong? It must've been...from the very beginning. I haven't changed anything. It was always like this...Just like you had misunderstood me, I had misunderstood you. No one...Nothing can become special. Everyone's the same...Most everything is just a matter of impression. Is it so special that you're a "pervert"? Even that is just subjective. That's why you can't get to the other side."

Saving Nakamura is Kusugi's other side. After Saeki is arrested Kasugi turns himself in for all the crimes he's committed. When asked why, he explains wanting to find something important to him and only him. However the guilt slowly shifts onto Nakamura, slowly absolving Saeki and Kasugi of what they were guilty of themselves. This manga reminds me in a way of Chi No Wadachi, one of my favorites, which details in the obsession in the relationship between a boy and his mother. The utter emptiness and destruction after the mother leaves him reminds me of Kasugi. He couldn't bring any of them to life, the crime that pushes him to the edge.

Kasugi pleads for Nakamura. Nakamura answers. She tells him to "Come quickly, empty human." and assaults his father to aid their getaway.

She forces him to undress and in a surprising turn of events begin to quite literally "peel his skin off", a more hands on approach than usual it seems. She wants him to take "everything" off, see every crevice, every desire. Nakamura describes the voice inside her constantly screaming words she couldn't understand, and how finally upon meeting Kasugi their meaning became clear : "I want out".

"There's no other side. There's no this side. There's nothing. No shit eaters, no perverts. There's nothing at all." No matter what she does Nakamura is stuck in an endless loop of torment, the 9th circle of hell. Her final order is for Kasugi to kill her, end her suffering and allow her to free her from the pain she lives in. They make a promise to throw their lives away. It's as if they were building off of each other's madness.

They pass a sewer and describe it as beautiful, "so pretty", it's amusing considering that was the very point of Baudelaire's "Flowers of Evil", to find the beauty in what is not. The two gather in the middle of the festival and scream to the crowd their beliefs, covering themselves in gasoline with the plan to self-immolate. In what looks to be their final moments, Nakamura pushes him over the edge of the stage and tells him she will go alone. Some could see it as a last act of selfishness, or perhaps even selflessness.

Time has passed and we find Takao in High School, he's moved away from the town, made a group of friends, yet he desperately tries to remember her. Sawa's face is fading from his memory, ever so slowly. He blames himself for still not being able to be "normal", he vowed himself to change completely yet he's "no good". He clings to the past like an infant to it's mother, "how can I ever forget". He died back then, lost everything, yet he breathes. However as much he fights, healing is inevitable, and when he accepts the book from his classmate, we know he wants to return to who he once was.

Volume 8/9 :

His relationship with Tokiwa is refreshing in contrast to the other women in his life, their relationship seems natural, progressive. They don't rush each other and are friends before anything else. He see's Sawa in Tokiwa, her isolation from others, the wall that separates her from others. It's different with her, he encourages her to be herself, have the courage to write. The pair run into Saeki and it shows single shot, the flower of evil slowly opening it's eye. Chilling.

Saeki has a new boyfriend, a look-alike of Takao from a few years ago. Saeki claims to have achieved a "normal happiness", and, although clearly a blatant lie, Takao seems a little jealous. For once he has something to live for and Saeki tries to claw it away. She asks him if she will destroy Tokiwa as he had destroyed her, as if she wasn't the one to rape him. She plants the seed in his mind that Tokiwa is a replacement for Nakamura, and the reason Takao gets so frustrated is because a little part of that is true. It's sad, just as he was starting to heal. He continues to encourage Tokiwa to finish the novel, perhaps when it's done he'll finally be free to die. Takao's subconscious begins speaking to him, antagonizing him for constantly being a dependent, whether it be Nakamura, Saeki, Tokiwa. For bringing misfortune on all those that get close to him. For the first time, Takao stands up to this manifestation of his greatest fears. At least I believe he is, he crushes the flower, destroys the phone. He goes to confess to Tokiwa, I believe the crushing of the flower meant that he would no longer let himself be held back by the past. He doesn't want to live the rest of his life as a ghost and that means stepping out of the shadows. "I'll kill your ghost" and in the process, his own.

It's sweet seeing someone at peace whose been through so much. a parallel is drawn between Sawa referring to the sewer as beautiful (such as The Flowers of Evil) and Tokiwa describing the ocean as beautiful, Takao agreeing with both. I believe it shows how much he's grown since, how he no longer restricts himself to what he thinks he deserves. He goes home to his parents and for the first time since he lost his innocence that one afternoon, makes his presence announce. "Welcome home".

However no matter how much he moves on, he's still just as afraid of his past as he was the day he left. He agrees to return after his grandfather collapses in an accident, he must face his past to truly let go.

Volume 10/11 :

He looks back into the town that suffocated him in the past. The town that kills. His cousins approach him and even though they are unnecessarily cruel, he apologizes without breaking face. He even approaches Kinoshita to apologize for what happens. Growth and maturity, owning responsibility for his past mistakes. It does seem that this town has a bit of an aura, as even Kinoshita, a relatively normal girl, describes feeling locked away, left behind. She gives him a paper with what she knows on Nakamura and it's clear what she's doing. If she can't be free, neither can anyone else.

He returns to Tokiwa it seems without giving into the letter, he feels ready to tell her everything. "I need Nakamura so that I can have a life with you", he can't move on if Nakamura lives in his mind as she does. Tokiwa asks if he can kiss her, and he does. He doesn't see her as he saw Saeki, or Nakamura. He sees her as a human, with her flaws, wants, needs, and that's what makes their relationship genuine.

They meet with Sawa and she looks completely different, just like Takao, I believe it's too accentuate how much they've changed as kids. Sawa almost seems like a shell of her past self, her words are vague, meaningless. Takao throws her on the ground in what I believe is revenge for what she put him through, despite that she's happy she hasn't disappeared. They all fight in the water, not violently, innocently, as if they were kids. Perhaps this represents the way that, in moving on they become who they once were : children. Children without worries or fears, insecurities or isolation. Sawa tells him not to come back, and for the first time, he agrees.

A look into the world the way Sawa once saw it is truly frightening, one can't blame her when her vision is clouded by things that exist only in nightmares. The world covered in flies constantly eating away at her, a world surrounded by shit-eaters.

[mangareview]

JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken: Phantom Blood

80/100

Not bad, a nice break from what I was reading. Nothing too complex, the art style was interesting at times.

[mangareview]

GANTZ

95/100

Volume 1 :

First introduction to Kei is pretty funny, he doesn't seem to have a care in the world : Quite literally reading porn in a public station. He admits to looking down on others despite not being "the brightest crayon in the box", and it seems he's not afraid to make his opinions known. He doesn't seem to be the guy that would go out of his way to help others. Which we witness quite literally 2 pages down when a drunk man falls off the tracks, as he looks forward to potentially seeing the man "splattered into pieces". Here we get to see the true ugliness of human nature, even as a student goes down to help, grown men stand around questioning if there are any attendants arriving. However, Kei does go down into the tracks, happy that he was recognized by his childhood friend, or perhaps afraid of being seen as a coward. Well then, Kei has died saving this homeless man!

He seems to harbor some resentment against Kato and I don't blame him, as he did quite literally lead him to his death, although not deliberately. Kato mentions that Kei has changed, having been more confrontational and unafraid in childhood, which coming from him sounds pretty dumb. It's pretty easy to see things from Kei's point of view, he's a relatable character. He's definitely pretty immature, kissing a naked girl who materializes in front of him which is a pretty weird thing to do to say the least.

Kei and the others stand around as the girl gets brought into another room by one of the Yakuza to be raped. It's depressing to see these people do nothing time and time again, Kato may be a bit stupid, but at least he is brave enough to stand up for others even if it puts himself in danger. Kei's surprised that the girl prefers the guy who stood up for her over the guy who stood there like a coward. Can't be too surprised.

So far this manga is doing a good job of representing the cruelty of humanity whether it be via action or inaction. The men justify killing the innocent "boy" by telling each other it wasn't human, "just like fishing" one of them explains. Kato on the other hand seems to have some sort of hero complex, puking when he finds that he couldn't save "Onion Boy". When the father of the Onion boy arrives it really hits us that the men killed an innocent, and what more, a child. Would they have been able to kill it with such unrestricted violence if it were a child with a human appearance? Chapter 10 shows a pretty cool explanation of how manga is made, might use for future reference.

Volume 2 :

So far not a fan of how the only female character is given absolutely no depth beside her being constantly naked, on top of the fan service we receive of her at the beginning of every chapter.

It's hard to face your own hypocrisy which is kind of what we're forced to do when seeing the point of view of the Onion boy's father. It's still hard to truly feel sad for the character for the shallow reason that they're just plain ugly. It's the kind of situation where you feel like they can't possibly have the same emotions as us because of how different we look.

It seems like neither Kato nor the alien really want to kill each other, yet the inevitable language barrier makes them unable to communicate. However, even if it is to save his own life, Kato is unable to kill another, despite his appearance. What seems like the polar opposite of Kato for now, Kei is quite literally a coward. Not willing to put himself in danger even if it means to save someone in need.

Here we receive the first little insight into Kei's life, "It's not like anybody there would actually be sad if I didn't exist anymore". Passing by the obvious lack of self worth, it's interesting to see how he uses the terminology of "didn't exist" over "die". However, spurred on by Kato's comments from the room, Kei does get a boost, although not enough to actually defeat the monster. It looks like he sheds a few tears for Kato, or it could be sweat. Kato saves another life, constantly risking himself for others it seems. But hey! It looks like that was finally enough to get Kei to stand up and fight for someone else. Even after all this, he seems incapable of killing the alien. Why? Is it because he is too much of a coward, or because he is incapable of taking another sentient life? Even spurred on by the little freak, Kei doesn't give in. He understands that this isn't a game, it's real, and those things are sentient.

It's kind of sad to see Kei cope with Kato's death, you wouldn't predict these emotions from the boy a couple of chapters ago. Maybe because it was a childhood friend, or maybe because he died saving him. He probably feels the guilt of having taken the life of someone who is undeniably a much better person than he ever was. Heyyy, he was alive after all! The computer calls the girl "Titz", cool.

The little freak from earlier explains having a year of experience with Gantz, yet he didn't help the others. He seems a little strange, maybe he wants to keep the points for himself, yet he seems okay sharing with Kei. Although he's just as much of a coward as Kei, standing around until the target let's down their guard killing other human's, then coming in to take the points for himself. In a way, he's worse. He throws around the word "Hypocrite", calling people this who don't agree with his thinking, it's kind of gross watching him. He doesn't value human life, or perhaps doesn't even see them as real in this world. Maybe after a year people change.

Kishimoto is forced the face the fact that she doesn't really exist in the real world anymore, or rather, her real self wasn't erased. Which means she has no place to go. It's nice they've finally given her a name, maybe we can get a little depth if we're lucky. From what we know so far, she seems to be one to avoid confrontation, she runs away from her own home when they find the other body, and would rather sleep on the street than ask for help. This passiveness is perhaps linked to her suicide.

Volume 3 :

Kei's experience seems to have changed him a little, rather, his definition of a friend has changed. He's still the same asshole (but not in a bad way). He's forced into extortion by his friend and has to meet the Seniors after school to pay up. However, I noticed he put on the strong suit from earlier, which could suggest that he intends on fighting them instead of running away. I was right, Kei got ballsier thanks to the suit. He got cocky pretty quick though, calling the boys he was earlier so afraid of "harmless herbivores" which is pretty funny. Kei lives by himself and judging by the phone call with his mother earlier, it's reasonable to imagine that they aren't too present in his life. That might explain the lack of self worth in the last volume.

Kishimoto asks to be "kept as a pet" by Kei, which is a pretty strange way of asking to live in someone's apartment. Jesus this fan-service... Kei asks to have sex with her (he's a little less like-able after that interaction) and Kishimoto argues that you "don't have sex with your pets"???? She's clearly distressed over her lack of identity, having no home, no parents.

So far I'm getting the feeling that nothing is off limits in this manga, and I believe it's intentional. Kato get's warned that some of the seniors are planning on ambushing him later on in the day. Surprisingly, he doesn't wait patiently or plan on running away (not unlike our precious Kei) but instead goes to confront them directly. He beats up their leader and leaves, ignoring the offers to "rule the school". So far he's the most earnest character and it's refreshing. I think we all know that Kei would have jumped at the opportunity to rule over others.

Kishimoto seems almost relieved after seeing her "other self" leave her house, most likely because of the control her mother had over her. Living vicariously through her daughter which drove her to suicide. Kishimoto now has the freedom to control her own future.

Ew, I don't like Kei anymore he's a little creep. When back in the room, Kato does the right thing and tells the others what to do in order to survive, despite the brat screaming in the back. He might have some sort of disorder that makes him want to kill, even in the real world. Kato tries to steer the group into "capturing" the alien and doesn't mention killing it, perhaps to avoid another situation. Why does the dog keep eating out Kishimoto??? Is that really necessary?

Brat kills one of the gang members who point his gun at him. Anyone who stands in his way, dies. Especially Kato. Kei has forgotten his suit but is comforted by Kato who is willing to put his life above his own. After all, it is his fault that Kei is here in the first place.

Volume 4 :

Kei debates once more whether to shoot the Alien or let it live, it's clearly a child and he has just made the discovery that it is in fact "alive". He knows he's not like Brat and for the meantime it is true. Once again, the Alien only attacks when provoked or harmed, and they always seem to be carrying a shopping bag, as if they were going out on normal errands. Brat wants help after getting injured fighting the Alien, seems like he's not used to facing the consequences of his actions. For once I don't agree with Kato's savior complex, it seems to me like Brat is going to become a problem later on if left unchecked. Interesting, although Brat is heaily injured, Kato can still save him by killing the other alien. He must make the decision to kill to save another life. Knowing Kato, which decision will he make? Jesus, Kishimoto is the most vapid female character I have ever scene, she is fully equipped with a suit yet still stands around waiting for others to help. I understand this was written in a different era but giving her half a personality really wouldn't hurt.

Brat has finally passed, Kei mocks him for "being pathetic" yet it's amusing to note that 5 chapters ago he wasn't very different himself. He also notes that the effect of someone dying in front of him has "dimmed" considerably, perhaps a step further into Kei's character development. Well, Kishimoto had her first independent thought everyone! Seems like her infatuation for Kato pushes her to do anything to keep him alive.

These Aliens seem less sentient than the last.

Volume 5 :

I am so tired of seeing Kishimoto's naked body against my will.

Kei is forced to confront the "Big boss" alone with only a gun and no suit. "I'm not gonna die", he sings it to himself a little like a mantra, and even prays to god. The last wishes of a dying man. Kei pulls out a pretty badass move mid air, perhaps pushed on by the thought that, by doing nothing, death was inevitable. Ironically, the title of the chapter is named "Weakness". Kei is still incredibly immature, devaluing Kato and acting arrogant simply because he was the one to kill the Alien this round. He yells at Kishimoto essentially for not having sex with him and she leaves. It's honestly kind of sad how unlikeable this guy is. I suppose that's intentional to make his development more impactful later on. Kei feels incompetent in his real life and wishes to return to the apartment. The comments are correct in describing this type of behavior as "incel". Kei and Kato remain polar opposites. Kei one on hand is the embodiment of childhood, immaturity and the such, he has no responsibilities and is driven only by primal instincts : fear, lust, anger. On the other hand, Kato represents what I believe is adulthood (the maturity that comes with adulthood not the age, as is demonstrated by some of "child men" we have met thus far). He prioritizes others over himself, whether it be Kei or his brother, he recognizes that his actions have consequences, confronts problems head on, and is driven by his moral compass to do "good". It's discomforting as the feeling remains that Kato, although the better person, is going to die soon. The good don't usually live long in a world of evil.

Interesting to see how the priest uses faith to explain the unexplainable. I also notice that Kei is the only one to bring his suit outside of the apartment, as for others like Kato or Homo leave it here. Most likely as Kei feels that he is so weak that he must bring the only thing that brings him strength back home with him to the real world. Well, well, well, Kei has recieved his first first "positive" interaction with a woman so far, one who admits she thinks he's cute because of his weeping earlier. I only mention this as, knowing Kei so far, something tells me that this will lead only to obsessive behavior on his part. Or perhaps reckless in an attempt to impress this new "potential wife".

Volume 6 :

Immediately after this confession, Kei begins to see her through a more sexual "lense", as before he was only looking at her face, he now watches her entire body. Yay! Classic Kei the little perv, he asks her to "let me have sex with you", not "have sex with me", but let "me" have sex with "you". Indicating that he expects the woman to remain more passive in the act, or perhaps he cant imagine a woman taking the lead or enjoying herself during these types of acts. Women have never been attracted to him, therefore he has only seen them through the lense of "rape" thus far, which is perhaps why he sees the only way for him to have sex is if she were to not "fight back" in a sense. During sex he imagines Kishimoto. Why? It's not as if she had a dazzling personality, is she more attractive? Is her rejecting him make him idolize her?

For the first time so far, Kato doubts himself as to whether he can actually make it. He's frozen. Yet, Kei finally "grows a pair" and proactively takes the lead to kill the aliens. Who, for the record, are the first to attack them unprovoked. Perhaps it is similar to Charles "awakening" in Innocent after losing his virginity. However, after all this, Kei still struggles in hitting the final blow, killing is still a difficulty for him it seems. However, he manages, proving to us that he is different to the Kei from the last "game". It's almost as if, to Kei, this world is the place where he can give in to his repressed "urges", where he can let his primal instincts run free. Kei's power boost gets him asked out by Lara Croft, and, although he agrees, he doesn't seem exactly thrilled.

Volume 7 :

Kei is already getting a little overconfident in his abilities, he "claims" the biggest Buddha for himself, and it's no surprise how that ends. He already thinks as himself as some sort of "God", above others. And, surprisingly enough he's not wrong, he does manage to kill the Alien pretty much single-handedly. I'm not sure how this will affect Kei's ego, although his behavior has already changed. He no longer behaves like the sweaty little "bitch" he was a few volumes ago, I can't be sure what "created" this new Kei. Perhaps losing his virginity was meant to represent his transmission into adulthood.

In a surprising turn of events, Kei is left without arms or legs and begs Lara and Kato to kill him. I'm genuinely surprised that Kei would "ask for death", perhaps because Kishimoto has already died. Lara dies to save Kei, even as he tells her to escape, he cries yet he doesn't seem to be genuinely saddened over her death. Has he grown even more numb too death around him?

Volume 8 :

A small revelation about the targets they are instructed to kill. The Alien asks : "Who are you? Why do earthlings treat us badly?"

In his last moments Kato thinks of his brother. Kei is the only one to have survived and it destroys him. Not only the guilt of being the only survivor, but the injustice of it all.

However, this "despair" doesn't really last that long. It seems that Kei has returned to being, albeit a sadder version, of his previous self. He seems to be just as immature.

Volume 9 :

Kei is already much different than he was in the beginning of Gantz, although he is still emotionally immature, he seems to have gotten a "boost" of bravery or recklessness thanks to the suit.

Kei is still unable to execute the Aliens in cold blood, instead, a vision of Kato appears to him. He knows Kato wouldn't kill him, and therefore, he refuses to shoot him. After all, Kei is only fighting to stay alive. I think he's understood, albeit subconsciously, that these Aliens are sentient, this makes the task of killing them to survive much more difficult.

The room starts the affect Kei's daily life, notably, the threat by the Alien before his return back to the apartment. The Alien appears in his school and threatens to kill his "companions", Kei leaves. "I don't have any real friends...Out of all the other people in my class, my life is the most important". It's almost as if he's trying to convince himself of this. He seems to be battling two sides of himself, the side that wants to escape, and the side that wants to help others. He hates himself for being too cowardly to help, yet he hates himself even more for feeling sympathy, for feeling the human urge to help someone in need. Kei wants to be unfeeling, alike to a superhero or manga character who forgets about his dead classmates in an instant. He underestimates once more the power of human emotion, he may not have known these people very well, but they were his "companions". And if he had not left for them to die, perhaps more of them could have been saved.

The Alien brings up an interesting argument in who the "bad guy" really is, Kei was indeed the first to attack his people and he has returned to enact revenge on Kei's people. Is Justice not on his side? Is Kei the bad guy after all? Even Kei wonders why he's risking his life to protect his new "girlfriend". I believe it's because, although he tells himself that he feels no guilt towards his classmates, he does. This "girlfriend" is his way of proving himself that he's not the bad guy here, he places other people's lives over his own.

Volume 10 :

We meet what seems to be a new MC in Volume 10. He tries to resort to suicide after getting sexually abused by his Senior classmates but is contacted by a mysterious man who tells him to kill his bullies with the new powers he has given him. The man tells him that the bullies lives aren't worth the same as his own, that they are alike to trash. A "friend" online tells him that once you kill someone, you can never go back. Sakurai considers this but his hate for the bullies seems to overpower all else. We're given more insight into how horrible Sakurai's life was, I'm not surprised he chose to kill himself. Even the teachers participate in the abuse. Honestly, those guys deserved to die.

We also meet Monkaze, whose goal is to become the strongest person in Japan, for reasons unknown.

Kei and Kojima look like they are in communal bliss, and for the first time in a while Kei seems genuinely content. Although he has trouble trusting others, Kojima is a good person and is slowly allowing Kei to open up to new people and emotions. Kei used to be alone yet this new addition too his life means he finally has something to live for.

Volume 11 :

Kei has to face the dilemna of whether or not to kill his "friend" and save the hundreds of lives he plans on taking in the future. He refuses, perhaps the influence of Kato remains, but for now he cannot take an innocent life. Izumi is a bold hypocrite, he claims to hate war, the innocent people killed for no reason. Yet he threatens Kei to kill him or sacrifice hundreds later on.

Kei doesn't seem to care about the lives that will be lost in the attack until he learns that Kojima is in Shinjuku Square, the target area. Which forces him to fight back against Izumu. Sidenote : I didn't know paint was enough to change your entire race.

Kojima may be not very brave, she's still very endearing and I find myself worrying for her safety. Which is refreshing to see a not so one-dimensional character.

Sakurai wants to kill Izumi, even when his fellow "magician" friend tries to convince him otherwise. Ironic, considering that this same friend was the one to convince him to kill the bullies. It seems justice can only be enacted when he isn't risking his own life.

Also no comment on the fact that Izumi has killed several dozens of civilians without reloading once.

Volume 12 :

Izumi has some sort of complex to prove against Kei and kills hundreds in order to duel against him. This man has it all yet is willing to throw it away for a chance to go to the room. Not unlike Kei “pre Kojima”, Izumi describes it as the only place he feels alive.

Kei disappoints once more with a surprising dash of mysoginy, he tells Reika to stay back as she is a woman and instead asks the old man to accompany him. Yes, logical. The author’s representation of black people is also pretty neat! (Not.) The old man says he can feel Kei’s urge to survive and that’s why he followed him. Him and the old man argue, Kei doesn’t care about the casualties but the old man urges him to move to a location with less people. It seems like Kei is willing to do anything to return to Tae’s side.

Volume 13 :

Kei gets designated as their leader and makes decisions based on what he believes Kato would have done. Perhaps he doesn’t feel confident enough in his own judgement to make his own decisions yet. It’s the first time people are looking at Kei as someone to be listened to, a new feeling for him to say the least. In an absolute turn around, and most likely spurred on by the faith these people have in him, Kei is willing to take responsibility for the death of the Alien’s “little ones” and essentially risk his life even more to save the others. It’s not too surprising to see this renewal in Kei’s personality as it’s been developing with every event. However, I notice that Kei creates a large distinction between those he knows and those he doesn’t. He makes no effort to save the innocent lives that were taken as casualties during their fight with one of the Aliens, perhaps he doesn’t even see them as real, yet he is willing to put himsekf in extreme danger if it means creating a chance for these new “friends” to live.

Volume 14 :

We get a little more background on Kei’s homelife once more, he seems to be the “runt” of the family. Both parents ignore him to gove attention to their youngest. It isn’t explained why. Also very important to notice that, opposed to the other women in his life, Kei has never viewed Tae as a strictly sexual object (For example Kishimoto, Lara Croft), Tae is the embodiment of Kei’s growth as a human being no longer restricted to primal emotions and instincs. She allows him to feel “love” which would have seemed almost impossible for him in the earlier chapters.

Weird, Izumi begins speaking like Gantz… Anyways it’s interesting to see the difference between Kei’s treatment in the Room opposed to outside in his daily life. Perhaps that’s what made him want to return in the first place, although, after Tae he doesn’t seem to let himself be affected by the comments of his peers.

However, there seem to be cracks appearing in the glass after he is confessed to indirectly by Reika. He is clearly trying to resist these urges. I believe this could be the representation of Kei's primal instincts, as brought up earlier, going against his "emotional" instincts. Reika is certainly more attractive and appeals to his sexual side, yet Tae caters more to the sensitive and emotional side that seeks comfort in another. It will be interesting to see who he chooses. He's trying to make up excuses for breaking up with Tae that wouldn't involve him being "the bad guy", claiming that by breaking up with her he would save her from future troubles that come with being with him. It's easy to tell that this thinly veiled excuse is just a reason for him to continue "dating" Reika.

I actually think that Kei really loves Tae and cares for her. I'm disappointed in him and the emotional maturity he lacks to own up for his mistakes and speak to Tae himself. However, he makes his decision in the end and overcomes his "primal" desires and instincts by confessing to Reika that Tae is in fact the girl he is in love with.

Volume 15 :

OF COURSE. Tae is the next target administered by Gantz. The group now has to choose between killing the human girl and losing all their points accumulated thus far. It's true, Izumi points out the hypocrisy of agreeing to kill Aliens mercilessly but drawing the lines at humans. However he neglects mentioning basic human instinct. Truly shows the irony of the world when the humans are much greater monsters than the aliens they are instructed to kill. Kei accidentally kills one of the men coming after Tae and questions if he has become a murderer.

Volume 16 :

Tae returns to Kei's side and is injured by Izumi and "vanishes". The raw pain that Kei is clearly experiencing is heart-wrenching to witness, especially after it his love for Tae has been made so clear. He considers suicide and is then informed that the 3rd option after achieving 100 points is to revive someone who has passed in the Arena. It seems Kei has just learned of his new goal.

Sakurai describes the guilt he felt after taking the lives of the men who bullied him, the moment a living human turns into a mere object. In exchange, to relieve him of the guilt, his friend tells him to save lives for the rest of his days. Surprisingly, upon finding another killer, Sakurai chooses to paralyze him instead of ending his life. I don't think he finds himself capable of taking another life. Time and time again this manga shows us how despicable humans can be, Gantz isn't the villain here, we are.

Volume 17/Volume 18 :

Nothing much too say, all action scenes.

Volume 19 :

Those who achieve the 100 point are given a choice with what to do with there points, it's interesting to see whether these people will chose freedom over their loved ones. Aw, Reika sacrifices her points in order to revive Tae and give Kei the opportunity to have his freedom in return for teaching them to survive in the Arena. Kei hesitates between reviving Kishimoto and Lara Croft, and in the end chooses to revive Brat from Volume 1??? I'm a little confused by this decision. With the encouragement of the others, Kei chooses option 1 to forget Gantz and return to his normal life. He receives the praise from all of his friends from the Arena and it's not to say that he doesn't deserve it, Kei was a great leader and managed to save countless lives. AH NO!! All of Kei's development goes down the drain because his entire fucking memory is erased not only the events of Gantz. Goodbye! At least Kato has finally returned to care for his brother. I don't think either of them would have agreed to the first option if it meant destroying everything they had built together.

Although Kei and Tae have both lost their memory, they still seem to find their way back to each other. On top of that, I was wrong to assume that Kei had completely returned to his old self, it's clear that he has matured subconsciously even after forgetting the events. We see this in his interaction with the old man, if I recall correctly, in chapter 1 Kei yells at an old lady to see help elsewhere upon asking directions, however, almost 200 chapters later, Kei responds politely, even if he doesn't remember their connection.

Volume 20 :

Well, well, well. Seems like Izumi isn't a complete sociopath after all. He protects his girlfriend from the attack which in turn takes his own life. I'm surprised, his behavior thus far wouldn't lead us to believe that he would be capable of self sacrifice.

Kei's last thoughts are of Tae.

Volume 21 :

Although Reika was nominated as leader, Kato naturally takes on the role. We meet another Gantz tribe and witness how differently they face the Aliens. It's horrifying in a way, they rape and torture these aliens who beg them to end their suffering. It's hard to choose whose side to be on as we can't be certain that these aliens wouldn't be just as cruel if given the chance. Although previous events suggest otherwise. The Osaka team is a contrast in every way to the Tokyo team, all of them are intoxicated and don't even care for their own lives, much less those of others.

Kato and Reika disagree over the value of innocent lives, Reika believes trying to interfere poses too much a risk for them, while Kato believes they should do something to help. Glasses also points out how the revival system has "cheapened" their lives and insists not to be revived upon his death. Kato debates over focusing on caring for his brother and obtaining his freedom, or spending another year in the Arena if it means saving Kei.

Volume 22 :

For the first time Kato debates over interfering and putting himself in danger to save another family. Reika's words made him doubt his own morals and how much they would mean to him if it meant giving up his loved ones.

Volume 23/24 :

It deleted what some of what I wrote for these 2 volumes! :((

The “players” are no longer invisible to the public eye, this not only means that civilians become casualties by aliens, but that law enforcement also becomes involved in the attacks. However, we have discovered that these aliens are capable of shape shifting, as seen a few times in the last few volumes. Knowing this, how are we supposed to differentiate our fellow humans from the alien species. This issue doesn’t hold itself only to us as we see confusion occur in several situation, notable as Kato and his friend are threatened by law enforcement. The irony is strong in this one as it’s true, apart from human appearance what differentiates us from this species? Empathy? Obviously not as demonstrated by the Okata group who are much more cruel and sadistic than any alien we’ve seen so far. Kindness? Sacrifice? What traits make us human enough for it to be used to distinguish us from another with the same appearance.

Volume 25 :

Brat reveals the “Time till Katastrophe” situated in the Gantz ball, which signs the event in which all that humans have accumulated will be destroyed. Those with a powerful arsenal will take over the world and the weak will be the first to die. Kei reunites with Tae and their affection for each other has still not faded.

Volume 26 :

Kei resists the urge to beat up his old bully for insulting Tae. Most likely because he remembers accidentally killing one of the fighters going after Tae and doesn’t want to make that same mistake. He’s realised that his actions have consequences.In this process, Kei has relinquished his faith in God to which Tae replies that, if there is no God to protect them, it relies on themselves to protect humanity. Humanity and Earth aren’t special and they must fight for their right to exist like any other species. Really shows Kei’s development even more when he rejects Reika’s confession.

Strangely enough Nishi is more likable now even after committing a mini genocide than he was in the earlier chapters. Izumi and Nishi both guilty of the same crime yet one has my sympathy.

“The planet is a devil’s playground.”

Volume 27 :

Deleted the 6 paragraphs I wrote…

We discover that Gantz is in fact man made, or partially, meaning that we are once again at the root of our own problems. Just as Carl Jung once said, "The fundamental human problem is that we have no problem". The masses have no control over their own will to a certain extent, turning to whomever is the higher power whether it be faith, a leader. We have lived long enough as a species for us to expect answers in others.

The man brings up the absence of God once more, Is Earth truly special? Is life precious, or like an ant is it only as precious as those in power decide it to be.

Volume 28 :

The roles have been reversed, humans are now the entertainment. Humans try to surrender yet are met with nothing but destruction. The giant machines have living “people” inside of them, alike to the Gantz units in their suits. My predictions were correct, these aliens were sent to Earth to commit the same crime they are guilty of.

Volume 29 :

Incredible! The Gantz team is sent to another planet where they are instructed to do as much damage as possible to the supposed enemy. A species like their own, different only in appearance. Will the difference in appearance allow the agents to convince themselves that these aliens are devoid of sentience?

Kato attempts to stop the genocide against the innocents but others are not so receptive of their similarities to these "people". We're at the point where we don't know whose side to be on anymore. Naturally we should lean towards our own species, yet these supposed leaders inflict such cruelty upon their very own people. We know not who attacked the other first.

Volume 30 :

The Others are committing genocide on the human race, gathering the innocent with the goal of exterminating them as if they were vermin. The humans inside still have faith in the human race : "We'll just have to wait for the day they set us free". Who is they? The blind faith in their own species ties back to the alien bringing up the value of human life in Volume 27. What makes them think that their species is any more special than this one?

Even the man who saves Tae explains saving her only to satisfy his sexual desire. The human race sure is a selfish one.

Humans are used as food for the pets of this species, really rubbing what little effect our lives have on a species that isn't ours. They laugh as if we were nothing but insects clinging to life. We are displayed in zoos, ironic, considering we also have zoos on Earth where we display those of a different species than ours. The funny thing is, the likelihood of this situation being entirely reversed relies only on pure strength. Humans could have easily been just as cruel to the Others if given the opportunity, it is natural instinct to not see someone who is not like you whether in physical appearance or ideals as inferior or even devoid of sentience.

The people around him harass Kei for refusing to help those locked in the cage, unaware that they depend on him for his strength to fight against the enemy. It's true, Kei didn't ask for the burden of taking being the receiver of their faith, his only goal is saving Tae.

Volume 31 :

All of a sudden we are given a direct translation of the Others speech.

As Tae is put into what resembles a pet cage, her 14y old "companion" tries to rape her, ironic considering that we are trying to prove that we are not animals. It reminds of hamsters who must be separated by gender to prevent the males primal uncontrollable urge to breed.

Sakurai's "humanity" (can it even be called humanity considering that the human race is not naturally empathetic, it is a trait that seems to be earned rather than given) gives way to madness and rage as he massacres the Others, guilty as they are.

A "Woman" of the Others explains that only the strong can earn freedom. She isn't wrong, for centuries the weaker have been enslaved, wether it be through slavery, human trafficking, child labor, the weak are abused and against our very own species.

Volume 32 :

We can criticize others for not valuing human life, yet Kei demonstrates the pure selfishness we hold as individuals. He prefers to continue searching for Tae who is most likely dead over helping those around him. To Kei, their lives are meaningless in comparison to the woman he loves. Yet, such selfishness is what makes us human, the fatal flaw of sorts.

Supposedly the "war" between species is over. The humans willingly turn themselves in to what is promised to be a better life which is naturally nothing but a trap. Clinging to hope so hard they forget all reason, even going as far as to condemn the very people who are saving them. Sidenote : Sakurai is so cool, his revenge arc is literally insane.

He understands, although it's difficult to accept, that not all the Others are evil. He is torn between following through with his desire for revenge and the undeniable knowledge that these "people" are alive. It's almost like he's trying to convince himself.

Exterminating this species in a way would only continue the vicious cycle, Oku does well in demonstrating not only the cruelty of the Others but of the human race. Can we in good conscious exterminate a species that is guilty of something that we are capable of ourselves? Do we not hunt and fish? If so, how is this any different.

Volume 33 :

This really shows us the undeniable weakness of humanity, truly unsettling. YESSS!! The giant robots are finally here!!

Volume 34 :

Kei tries to get Reika to escape by saying he loves another yet Reika still dies saving the one she loves. SO SAD. Her life is meaningless without Kei and I believe that shows the effect others have on ourselves. It's so hard to write stuff towards the end because I get so into it.

Volume 35/36 :

The dying wish of Fra is "Don't kill us", essentially, don't punish the innocent for the crime of the guilty. Nishi's father makes an interesting statement : "In the end laws are just human creations. If you've got enough power laws don't mean a thing." Ironically, the final battle is not between the Others and ourselves, but between Kei and Nishi. One fighting for revenge and the other forgiveness. Nishi kills Tae and Kei must choose between an entire species or a single human. He chooses Tae, yet luckily enough she is alive.

The war is won, humans are the victors. They are gathered to find the answer. "The Room of Truth". They ask questions to the being and it answers. Pourquoi les gens ne peuvent-ils pas vivre sans sacrifier les autre? C'est comme ca.

Gantz was sent to Earth to help them battle against the species on their way to invade them by another species that had been previously attacked. The game was created by one man to further his own wealth.

"Humans are an arrogant race. You believe you hold a special place among the creatures of Earth but this is not so. From our point of view you are microscopic. No more than insects. Even if hundreds or millions of you were to die, it would be of no importance to us. As a child you likely killed thousands of ants spraying an anthill with a garden house. Humans believe their lives and ants lives are weighted differently. This is profound arrogance. The so-called "God" you cling to does not exit. Human life is but dust and detritus.

Fundamentally, you are no different from dust floating in the wind. Simply matter and nothing more. Thoughts and emotions are merely products of minor electric currents. You're no different from you're own electronic devices, just a bit more complex. Destroying the earth changes nothing. Merely matter exchanging places."

Humans may be nothing but dust and detritus, electric currents, yet those electric currents have arranged in a way to make us sentient. Those little things that may not be important to a being larger than ourselves doesn't change it's value. Every one of us is alike yet different, we are capable of making our own decisions, empathy, cruelty, that is what makes us alive. The Being claims that the soul does exist, lifting to another dimension than transported back to Earth into someone else. This suggests that human life cannot be replicated, even with all the electric currents, human life is not artificial. I don't know if I agree. Love is a powerful thing that's for sure.

[mangareview]

Shoujo Tsubaki

45/100

Literally made no sense. Just another shock horror that isn't to my taste.

[mangareview]

Itou Junji Kyoufu Manga Collection

55/100

I enjoy the Tomie story line but it's hard to see if there's a deeper meaning to the symbolism behind Tomie or if she's just a typical monster? Perhaps it's a reference to the male urge to control women they want to own completely. Are these men cutting up Tomie because of her beauty or because of something more primal?

So far we've seen only one man resist Tomie's control, he claimed he liked the Yukiko from before more, and perhaps this is what saved him.

I don't think I can finish it after all, it just feels very repetitive and I can guess what's going to happen every time, like One Punch Man but not actually funny. Oh well.

[mangareview]

Dorohedoro

95/100

Having watched the anime previously to reading the manga, I can certainly say that I don't ever remember that scene feeling so "real". It's certainly a lot more gruesome in the manga, and, although I will always side with Kaiman and Nicaido, you can't help but wonder if they're morally in the right here. As the Magic users, although cruel, seem to be human as well. It is the least they can do however in a system built to oppress those living in the hole.

However, the magic users seem equally as cruel to those living in the hole, almost as if neither consider the other as human, rather, "worthy of life". I honestly love their friendship!

Kaiman hesitates upon noticing that Ebisu is a girl, not for long however, his determination to clarify the mystery of the man living in his throat much greater than mercy. Fujita also puts himself in danger to save a fellow magic user, perhaps the guilt of not having been able to save his previous companion still weighing on his shoulders.

Although Noi and Shin seem to kill those they are instructed to “clean up” indiscriminately, they seem to uphold a semblance of “fair play”, which is, no magic against non magic users, “it doesn’t seem fair.” The old magic user argues that, to those getting killed, there is no difference to how they die. Which objectively, is a good point.

Kaiman is “down” after mercy killing a magic user who had been brutally mutilated and thrown into a plastic bag. Although he has killed many, I believe this is one of the first he has killed who has not fought back, essentially defenseless. I believe it might put things into perspective a little for Kaiman, who previously has felt nothing but malice towards sorcerer’s.

Shin doesn’t seem content fighting against those weaker than him, as he expresses several times. This is why, upon hearing of a suitable match, even “death match” he steps up to the opportunity. Probably looking for a challenge.

These action scenes really give more and more context to what kind of world these characters live in, there is no chance to “knock someone out” or beat them up, it’s straight to the point : Kill, or be kiled.

Even Kaiman feels a certain regret at all the lives “needlessly” lost in order for him to get more information on who he really is, however, those same sorcerer’s are in turn killing thos living in the hole. It’s a sort of conundrum, who came first : The chicken or the egg.

The dual between the two duo’s really show how far Nikaido and Kaiman are willing to go for each other. In the process it is revealed that Nicaido is a magic user. As she has kept it secret even from her closest friend, Nikaido clearly has some deep rooted angst related to her abilities. I believe she also thinks that this would threaten their friendship if Kaiman were to find out as they seem to have originally bonded over the massacre of sorcerer’s. However, Kaiman, in proof of their friendship, and although he has been made aware of her abilities, let’s her keep her secrecy. He doesn’t pry or get mad, he justs acts the way he usually would, which I believe is the most that Nikaido could have asked for.

As the story continues it's honestly harder and harder to determine who the real villain is, I suppose that's the point.

Got a little too deep into the story and forgot about writing this so Im going to try and pick up from where I am.

The cross eyed non magic users who were once the oppressed, in a reversal of “fortune” have now become the opressers. Performing a genocide of sorts on those confident enough in their magic to fight back. The crosseyes are beginning to doubt the leader who gave them hope in the beginning. Perhaps they are starting to realize that Kai truly has no interest in them, pawns in his ultimate goal.

Nikaido has overcome her fear of magic and Kaiman has lost his memory of their time together, which, in a way is worse than death. Death can be fixed, losing a part of yourself cannot. During a moment of consciousness Aikawai is willing to sacrifice himself in order to end the monster that Kai has become.

I kind of slacked off on the analysis of this one but that usually happens when I get really invested in the story... Dorohedoro is honestly an excellent piece, it's filled with humor and light-heartedness but it still manages to keep things serious when necessary. It's amazing how Hayashida managed to make every single character someone that you remembered and rooted for. This got a little complicated when those same characters were fighting against each other because you never knew who you wanted to win! I think Dorohedoro perfectly demonstrates in a way "the cycle of abuse" that we witness with the treatment of humans by magic users and how, it takes a while to notice that not all magic users are cruel. A sort of "don't judge a book by it's cover situation". Anyways I loved it and it definitely made it's way into my list of favorites. (If I could change maybe one thing, Nikaido was naked ALOT and it would be nice if maybe we could tone that down by around 15%.)

[mangareview]

Biomega

82/100

Not unlike the other works of Nihei, we notice similarities between Zouichi and Killy, both are merciful to those who they see as “good”. However, those who have violated their personal terms have no room for trial. Just as Killy shoots the so-called innocent Sillicon Life, Zouichi shoots and kills 5 soldiers of the Public Health Departments militaru taskforce. Their crime having been wasting his time. Killy and Zouichi are not similar in every way, Zouichi seems to be more “human”, less apathetic. I heard a theory that Killy and Zouichi are the same person after many years, and I could see how that could be likely.

The drones certainly seem much less aware than the Silicon Life, resembling more cyborgs than anything gifted with a conscious. Interesting to see how they tackle the creation of AI, overloading it with informationor digitialized personality constructs would render them useless or not give them enough individuality to make reasonable decisions in times of crisis. Instead, they allow the brain to teach itself, mimicking in a way the growth of a child into an adult. It is revealed Zouichi is a synthetic human, however it is not specified if he is synthetic in mind or body.

Ironic that, although Killy is the human one, the synthetic human has more humanity. Kind of ties back to Blame and who we were supposed to be rooting for. Both are fighting to live, neither asked to be created. Perhpas Nihei’s intentions is pointing out that being human doesn’t necessarily make you “good”. Tackles the idea of the state of being “human”, Zouichi is willing to risk everything to save the life that has developed on this new planet even though they are not what one would refer to as “human”. Zouichi is protecting life and consciousness, which transcends past appearance and species. I love how Nihei tackles the idea of “self” that transcends form or shape. In Blame we soon get used to Cibo transferring herself from one organism to the next, and, soon enough we become attached to her name and not her person.

As usual I have a bit of a preference towards Nihei’s work if not only for the excellent illustrations. I don’t think I really understood all the deeper meanings in this particular piece, if there were any, but I still enjoyed it.

[mangareview]

Innocent

93/100

Beginning as soon as the first chapter, we see Charles tackle the heritage and responsibilities placed upon him by the family name. The art is truly amazing and some of the best craftsmanship I’ve seen in a manga. Even when Charles refuses to follow in his father’s footsteps, he is tortured into submission. Having previously read the sequel before the first, It’s interesting to see how Charles has changed in his view of the the role bestowed upon the Sanson name, resembling almost his father. However for the meantime, Charles clings to his morals, “Thou shalt not kill”. Most likely convinced that, once he has completed his first execution, he will be stained by the blood of the Sanson family and be forced, for good, to live up to his father’s name. His father continues with the abuse, aware of the terrible fate cast upon their lineage, but unable to go against it. “We bear the fate of being cast into the shadow’s of society.” His first execution is what one could describe as barbaric, while he is supposed to be the watchman of Justice, carrying out the execution as handed down by the law, he is condemned to be the "Grim Reaper".

Charles undoubtedly tries to be a good person, he tries yet his good deeds go unnoticed. He offers to help a young boy by treating him at the Sanson household yet the father rejects it, spitting down at him. Later on, he mercifully kills someone on the execution stand, although receiving a wave of insults from the accused. It is a dark time, and it would be understandable for Charles to let himself be dragged down by the unfiltered cruelty of the era, but he has yet to do so. His goal has made him stronger. He performs the executions solemnly, it isn't clear if he still hides behind the illusion of the dolls, he certainly pays no mind to his nickname "The angel of death". "In the 18th century, there was no garden of Eden where people frolicked in equality across all of France."

When asked to perform the écartèlement against the accused, Charles stands up for himself against the true head of the Sanson family, albeit behind the scenes (I sense a common theme of women being those really meant for the executioners role in this manga). He stands for his beliefs but he is not yet strong enough to win against Anne. Anne nurses her grown son whom it seems has fallen back into infancy. It's truly disturbing to see the hold Anne-Berth has on the men of the family. They illustrate it splendidly, depicting as a spider weaving her web, pulling strings in order to achieve her desire. She has woven the tapestry of their family crest from her web, "La Grande Marthe".

It truly demonstrates the hypocrisy of man. They yell and criticize Charles, try to take his place. Yet, when put upon the stand, each and every one of them are incapable of finishing the job. Seems it's much easier to find fault from the sidelines.

Another important theme is the "power" the King has over the French people in a time like the 18th century. Charles describes the French as "nothing more than a single wisp of hair, just a part of his royal majesties body", and it is not far from the truth. The King during this era was seen as an extension of God himself, a messenger or child of sorts, sent to control the masses and keep them docile to religious ideals. Which makes it all the more shocking when Damien draws red blood from the King's own flesh, proving once and for all, that he is a human, not unlike the all the rest of us. It's gruesome how far these people will go in order to become "close" to the King, the more brutal the execution, the closer they feel to their ruler.

During Marie's assault, she is depicted as a beautiful porcelain doll, shattering at the touch of Griffin. It's ironic as Marie is what could be seen as the polar opposite of "fragile". She is one of the strongest characters in the manga (undoubtedly the strongest). She's willing to do anything to pursue her dream, even if that means destroying a part of herself in the process. The author creates an interesting parallel in the frames between Marie-Joseph and Marie-Antoinette, both are born on the same day yet are so drastically different in every way imaginable. Both are entrapped in their role as woman, for Marie-Joseph who steps out of this role, she is scorned and looked down upon, yet she does not falter. Had Marie-Antoinette done the same, she would have been presented with a similar fate.

It's a clear pattern between the men of the Sanson lineage, each and every one hold a sensitive soul and hope to end the curse that is upon them. Yet every one grows to pass on the same treatment of their father onto them, onto their own kin, perpetuating the vicious cycle that holds them hostage. Why? Does age truly change a man to the point of forfeiting the values you held so dear to become what you used to despise?

It seems a single night with Bécu has the power to change a man to his core. Charles begins as a boy and emerges as a man, more precisely, the man at the head of the Sanson and the Monsieur de Paris. This signifies the beginning of the end for Charles, he is becoming his father. However, his desire still burns to rid Paris of the executioners, perhaps he hasn't changed as much as was let on.

The reason Marie is so powerful is the strength she puts in herself. She is tied by no religion or king, she is her own leader and follows her own path. Charles knows this and still stands in her way, he tried to control Marie the way Anne did him and gained nothing but to force them apart . As they grow themselves in different directions.

True hypocrisy is only found in Versailles. Eternally condemned for his role as an executioner, yet, who is to carry out the hand of justice if the angel's hands are bound? Charles cannot allow himself to remain in the shadows any longer, hiding from pain. To achieve his dream, he must become the very thing that others fear. He alone shoulders the justice of a city of 600000 people, yet is treated like nothing but an outsider.

Charles has fallen into the steps of his father that he had vowed not to take. With a wife and two kids, he can no longer pursue the dream that one saved him, there is too much to protect. Truly a shame, Charles marries off Marie to protect his position as Monsieur de Paris. Although he has become strong in other ways, Charles remains the weak boy he once was. Once again he underestimates Marie's will, "all those who stand in her way should prepare for death". He peddles at a new low, Charles is no longer the man he once was. He criticizes Marie for threatening his life, yet, when he senses his incoming loss, he deceives her. Where are the morals he once brandished so proudly? "There is no path for those that walk outside humanity's path" HELLO? He claims to live for his dream yet only uses it to excuse his own selfish desire. In truth, he has come to enjoy his role as executioner and deludes himself to the contrary. He returns home to torture his son in the way he himself suffered as a child. The poor man is so lost in delusion he can't even fathom his own hypocrisy. He blames it on parenthood, a cowards escape. He must envy Marie in a way, she who follows her own path uncaring of others thoughts, so he aims to bring her down with him. Force her into the life he swore he would never choose.

The most cruel animal is none other than the human race. Alain dies believing in his dream, and Marie shall follow. Et commence la revolution innocente.

[mangareview]

Blame

95/100

Those first few chapters are pretty disorienting, I think I would be able to appreciate the art more if the site I'm reading them didn't have such poor quality. The only reason I understand what's going on is thanks to someone narrating the chapters in the comments underneath chapters, I don't think I can attribute it to the poor scanlation any longer. Chapter 6 and it's still pretty bleak, I've heard good things so I plan on reading till the end. Killy is pretty obscure, it seems that even though he tries his best to help others, they die anyway : First the child, now the man. Killy lies to the dying girl telling her that the curer has arrived. It seems that, although he is not as physically human as I believed, he retains a certain spiritual humanity. He uses his gun again against big-boys trafficking the Skivvies corpses, but refrains from using it against human thieves who want to go against the corporation. I've grown to like the lack of conversation, I think it adds to the impact of those few sentences. The scenery itself adds more to the story than words ever could. It is revealed that Killy's search for the network genes is to access the Net sphere and halt the expansion of the city, however, as almost all human's are genetically modified, it is difficult for him to find a human with the pure DNA and the authorization credentials to access the Net. We still don't know what is driving Killy to keep searching for this "pure" human. Is it his job? He seems to have connections to the governors but that wouldn't explain his personal motivation.

As the story continues, it is implied Killy is affiliated to the Safeguard. Sanakan asks "Has nothing else besides your functions been restored?", suggesting that Killy has a past he is not yet aware of. Once Sanakan sees that he has not remembered his purpose, the safeguard try to dispose of him. There seems to be a pattern, Killy tries to save his "new friends", in this chapter the new Cibo, yet they die. Killy doesn't show any visible signs of distress which makes us wonder if it's effecting him more than he let's on. Killy's refusal to "make friends" with Cibo may be due to his personality or a fear of attachment due to the enormous amount of loss he faces.

It appears that AI are given more human characteristics (does this include cyborgs?), we see this appear in Mensabs affection for Seu, going so far as to oppose the central AI of Toha in an effort to retrieve his memories. We also saw this manifested in another AI in earlier chapters, Cibo criticizes the creators for including "humanity" into the AI which led it to turn mad when left uncontrolled. This puts into question how much individuality these AI have, Mensab repeatedly disobeys orders in order to save humans : Has she been programmed to do so? Are the AI created with inherent traits such as empathy? It has yet to be explained.

I feel like this is something you have to read a few times to truly understand what's going on. Chapters like n.48 are extremely complex unless you have previous knowledge on the story. I won't let this affect the rating as I don't believe in dumbing down media for an audience, much to the contrary. It's hard to notice at first, but this manga is drawn out over several centuries (or more) : It takes Killy's body around 14 years to fully regenerate after the explosion from cyborg-Cibo. I feel like this makes their mission seem much "larger" in a way. Most of the manga is spent in silence and stretching over long periods of time, really adding to the sense of the post apocalyptic universe. Time and space have no value in this world. It reminds me in a way of the "Big Bang". Almost like the End of the world resembles the Beginning.

Killy has no pity for Silicon life, rather, he takes a strange sort of pleasure from causing them harm, killing one for what seems to be no reason in ch.57. This might be an indication of Killy's faltering morality, or, proof that Silicon creatures are inherently evil. The void like room where he finds the scientist is around 143,000km wide, another indication of the sheer vastness of the ever growing city.

As the manga comes to an end, we are left with barely any communication. It's almost like we're there with Killy, wandering a silent industrial wasteland in search of an uncertain objective. Sanakan, a previous Safeguard (albeit centuries ago) has made the switch to become a Governer, going so far as to sacrifice the safety net of returning to the Net to protect Cibo and her Orb. It isn't clear what inspired this change of heart. It is revealed that Cibo is carrying Sanakan's child, that explains the sudden attachment to Cibo. The combination of Seu, Cibo, and Sanakan's DNA is pure enough to access the netsphere.

The manga ends. Killy has reached the edge of the mega-city and the orb can finally form. It's suggested but not confirmed that Killy and the "pure" child reach the net terminal and access the city.

I surprisingly really enjoyed this manga. It's obscure and very dense but I still feel like it got it's message through. I like obscure pieces like these that take a few reads to really understand the plot and this one fit the bill. Killy, Cibo, and many other characters are stuck in an endless loop of dying and coming back to life, constantly fighting towards that one goal. It seems for many of them human emotions have long vanished and I don't blame them for it. I'm sure after seeing the 500th friend die it starts to lose it's effect. I'm disappointed but not surprised that Killy has almost no reaction to Cibo's death, although it's hard to define her as Cibo at that point. I wonder how Killy would react if the child were to be destroyed. Hard to tell.

[mangareview]

Mushihime

65/100

Weird insect fetish stuff. Interesting but not a fan.