mandasaurusly

[mandasaurusly]

hey here’s a fact for all of my followers who follow me.  butter, ice cream, milk, and cheese all come to us from the same animal.  i cant remember which animal it is right now but i know for sure its the same one

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me: i am so stupid… genuinely illiterate. i am the dumbest bitch alive

someone: you’re stupid

me: Einstein Wants What I Have

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What did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot? Mitosis.

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AND NOW I WILL TOO

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“how’s your summer?”

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My blog theme in the first year of being on tumblr: carefully chosen font, ‘professional’ style, high quality neutral images with “deep” meanings like the ocean and sunrises. My blog theme after 4 years of being on tumblr:

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When you laugh at a dumb meme and someone who’s not an internet person asks whats so funny, but it’s like a tier 3 meme and you’ve gotta explain about seven years of internet for them to understand the nuances

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they are communicating 😭💕

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game guide: we don't recommend playing as a mage on your first playthrough-

me, running from enemies, with two hp to my name: fuck you i'm a wizard

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Waldo wears stripes because he doesn’t want to be spotted

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*They used to “laugh and call him names.”  Now they’re all dead

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you can naruto run but you can’t naruto hide

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My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it. 

Here are some of my favorites:

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin” -After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human” -After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket” -Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call -One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake.  -After spooning me: “You have a nice butt” -”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying) -”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying) -Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue -One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue -One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence -And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”

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[mandasaurusly]

Lily-Rose’s bulldog, Peach.