mallymouse-blog-blog

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“I’ll ‘ell you, no vague answers alright, ‘hen will you just go away?” She frowned at him shaking her head as she ran a hand over her face with a frustrated sigh. “You’re such a bandersnatch, why are you even ‘alking to me Hans? We aren’t friends, you said it yourself. Just because isn’t an answer, you know it. And you’re so aggravating.” 

“I feel like if you tell me you’ll just give some vague answer so I make no promises. I’m boring you? Oh you poor thing, it seemed like I was getting quite the rise out of you though, which seems like you weren’t all that bored” he rolled his eyes. “Well, ‘'just because’ is the answer you’re getting. Now who’s the one prying for information and sticking their nose into business? Geez you’re so violent.”

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Full song for When The Darkness Comes - Colbie Calliat from the City of Bones soundtrack.

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“If I ‘ell you will you fucking leave me alone already? I’m ‘ired of your jabbering. It’s boring me. What you’re butting into is my story. You deserved what I said to you after what you did. Don’t be such a baby.” She frowned turning around to look at him. “Well ‘just because’ isn’t a good answer. Well figure it out, jez you’re hopeless. You’re a bandersnatch, be carefully or I’ll stab your eye out and wear it around my neck as a trophy.”

“What business am I getting my nose into? I’m just making conversation. I’m not asking for your life story. You also said some things to me and I never slapped you” he crossed his arms over his chest. “Just….because. I don’t even know why I do things. I don’t look like some ugly creature. I prefer being called a snake honestly.”

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“’wo stubborn people clash. It’s a recipe for disaster. Ha! ‘rying to be a gentleman and give up, well you ain’t doing a very good job of it are you. You’re still butting your nose into business ‘hat don’t concern you. You deserved ‘hat slap and you know it. You did enough by what you said.” Mally grumbled as she scowled at him, crossing her arms. “Why can’t you just give it a rest and leave me alone? Are you kidding me? Flipping hell Hans. No. A Bandersnatch is a big ugly looking evil creature from a story. Fits you quite nicely.”

“It’s not like you aren’t stubborn though. You’re more stubborn than me, without question. I’m at least trying to be a gentleman and give up on finding out things about you and being interested in you ” he sighed loudly. “I know that you don’t trust me and you think I’m some kind of snake that’s out to get you. You did slap me though and I haven’t done anything to gt back at you, just remember that.” Little did she know that she’d probably be safer from his snake like ways if she’d just cooperate with him and not push him away. “I can only assume that a bandersnatch is extremely handsome, charming, and endearing if I clearly am one. What does it actually mean?”

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“I know you’re freaking stubborn..’oo damn stubborn.” Mally grumbled as she looked up at him, her arms folding defensively over her chest again. “I ‘old you at ‘he beginning, some ‘hings I’ll ‘ell. But how ‘he circus ended and how I got here I ain’t saying so just deal with not knowing. It’s better you don’t know.” She stated with a small glare as she scrunched up her nose. He was about as stubborn as she was and it certainly was a pain. She wasn’t good at friends, why couldn’t he just get the message already. He’d be better of with other friends. “You’re right, it does sound ridiculous. And no not apparently, you are definitely a bandersnatch; no question about ‘hat one.”

“Because I’m stubborn that’s why. The more people don’t want me to know something the more I want to. And I want to actually try and understand you. Have it your way though, keep your secrets and I’ll keep mine, or try to.” He rolled his eyes. He did really want to know though. He just felt like they had more in common than she let on. “Look, as ridiculous as it may sound I care about you even if you piss me off. Plus, we’ve established already that I’m apparently as mad as a hatter and I’m a bandersnatch so I’m not exactly in the right mind.”

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“Why Hans? Why can’t you just leave it alone? Why do you care so god damn much?” She frowned as she heard his foot steps following behind her. “If I ‘ell you that I ‘ell you everything. I can’t- I- I’m not doing ‘hat.” She scowled turning around to face him unhappily. Telling him would make her venerable, gave him the chance to ruin her to see her weakness. She was avoiding getting hurt at all costs. Mally couldn’t understand why he wasn’t giving in, why he couldn’t just let her leave and drop it. He was probably about as lonely as she was. “I ‘old you. I don’t want anything from you. I’ve pushed you away so much, why are you still here? Anyone in ‘here right mind would be gone by now.”

“Believe it or not I actually do want to know just to know. Look, I’m sorry about the drug thing, I was mad obviously and I just said something that I knew would get back at you.” He felt like what he’d said was right though and her anger only confirmed it. “Oh come on, now I feel bad because you said you actually tried.” He didn’t know why he was chasing her so much if he honestly thought she’d been a bad friend. maube he was just desperate to prove her wrong about something. “what else do you want from me?”

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“Like you’d want ‘o know.” She scowled at him. “You’d just use it against me like you did with ‘he drugs, ‘hinking you’d know what it’s like when no one has a clue. I push everyone away, you said it yourself right? It’s not a new ‘hing Hans. I ‘old you I ain’t good with friendships, I don’t get close to people because I can’t stand loosening ‘hem so I don’t have ‘hem. Don’t get close you don’t get hurt. Simple.” She frowned at him. “Atleast I ‘ried with you, more than I’ve ‘ried in a long ‘ime. It would have been simpliar if I hadn’t bothered.” Looking back over her shoulder at him, she frowned lightly her arms wrapping tighter around herself as she headed to the brave dorms. “A bandersnatch, look it up Fancy.”

“Then enlighten me as to what way it actually is so I stop amusing things. I trusted you too, but I only left because you pushed me away. It seemed like you didn’t even want me around anyway. I was such a burden always talking about things that were much too deep for your liking. I didn’t want to leave initially but that sure seemed like what you wanted.” He probably shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was when she actually hit him. He cupped his now red and throbbing cheek in his hand. “I’m a what?” he called after her

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“Not in ‘he way you’d ‘hink.” She scowled at him. “I’m not one of ‘hose stupid girls who ‘hinks ‘oh woe is me my boyfriend left’, no.” Mally rolled her eyes as she frowned reluctantly looking up at him. “Did it hurt? Of course it fucking did..I ‘rusted you and you left.” She muttered shifting uncomfortably where she stood. “What? You know knowing about me, you may know how I act and all ‘hat simple shit. But so what.” As he smirked the blonde’s scowl only grew at his snarky comment, she moved her hand quickly and hit him hard across the face. “Freaking bandersnatch.” Mally grumbled turned away her arms crossed grumpily as she started to walk away.

“It just seems like a lot of people who think that love will only hurt you have been hurt by it before” he shrugged. ”Did it actually hurt when I left? Just tell me the truth about that ” he asked quietly. “I don’t care if you punch me or break my fingers or do anything that you may threaten to do. I guess you’re very different from me then because nothing makes me want to break someone’s fingers more than them being completely right about me, than them knowing what I hide without me wanting them to know it.” he smirked slightly. “Wow, we seem to agree on something, that you were in fact a shit friend. It’s a shame though, you had potential.”

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“Bad memories? I don’t have any bad memories of romantic relationships, I don’t do that lovie crap.” Mally grumbled her arms crossing defensively as she looked up at him with a frown. “I don’t get close to people, the better you know people, the more it hurts when they leave. Alright? I don’t get close to people. And don’t tempt me Hans because I will. Maybe? It was so wrong you’re lucky you still have all your fingers. Oh...so that’s what this is about? You don’t have any friends so you want the shit one back? Sorry but I ain’t interested.”

"Sorry but it just didn’t come across as you caring about me and doing it to save me pain.  It came across as you trying to save yourself from a conversation that may bring bad memories for you.  I don’t know what you’re so afraid of with regards to me opening up to you because it’s obviously not anything to do with losing me because it seemed all to easy for you to turn your back on me and just walk away. If you want to slap me then go right ahead, get it out of your system. Look so maybe it was wrong to add on the drug comment, but I feel like you assume so much about me too. I may not necessarily have better friends here anymore considering my best friend just up and left the school.”

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“Oh excuse me for actually giving a damn and not wanting to see you get screwed over by another girl. Like ‘hat makes me ‘he worst person in ‘he world for ‘hinking ‘hat. I didn’t start anything! You were getting ‘oo personal, ‘oo open. I pushed you away and ‘old you ‘o leave but no you kept blabbing on. I ‘old you I ain’t good with shit like ‘hat. I ain’t good at friends. You knew ‘hat. You got better ones anyway. Besides that you ‘ook it ‘oo far, you crossed ‘he line. I wanted ‘to slap you so hard it would leave a hand print, I still do. You get one ’hing ‘hrough that head of yours. Don’t you ever say or assume you know why I do ‘hings, why I ‘ake drugs why I push people away. You don’t know shit about me Hans. Go away, go find Els- or whatever her name was.”

“”Hey, I got some good laughs out of you. Don’t let your mind be clouded by our little disagreement.”

“You started it though. I recall only trying to be a good friend to you and then you just got mad because of something that I said makes me happy.”

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“You never were funny Hans were you.” 

“I ain’t apologizing ‘o you, you’re ‘he one in ‘he wrong here.”

“I guess you’re not over things huh? Not ready to apologize yet? I was just wondering”

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“Well look at ‘hat, if it isn’t ‘he snake. What ‘he fuck do you want?” 

“Well hello there to you too. Welcome back I guess.”

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I would say it’s good to be back but it really isn’t.

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Little Birds (2011)