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[maliceandarabbit]

[maliceandarabbit]

[maliceandarabbit]

my great uncle Bob is exactly what you’d expect from an australian farmer. he’s approximately 65 years old and he’s a cattle farmer on a station (a station is a fuck off huge ranch, basically, it’s a couple thousand acres) and he’s this beanpole of a man who looks like he’s spent his entire life outside because, well, he has. he also drives this ancient beat-up yellow ute which is more rust than car at this point and was made in approximately 1980. it’s old. 

anyway he was driving to the far end of the station the other day and an emu ran out in front of his car and he hit it, only it didn’t die, it came flying through the windshield, still alive and mostly unharmed. so there’s my uncle and this emu which is now sitting in the front seat of his car and understandably the emu is pretty pissed off and the first thought that goes through Bob’s head is “oh shit it’s going to start kicking me” so he figures the best way to stop it doing that is to punch it in the face and that is the story of how my uncle got in a fistfight with an emu.

[maliceandarabbit]

person: today was a bit of a cheat day for me haha, i went on my morning run at 8 instead of 7 and had a little bit of whipped cream on my fruit at breakfast ;)

me: i haven't eaten anything but lemonade oreos for the past 2 days

[maliceandarabbit]

“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”

― Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper

[maliceandarabbit]

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”

Roald Dahl

[maliceandarabbit]

[maliceandarabbit]

Finally a aussie shows the US how to eat vegemite

[maliceandarabbit]

Fucksakes

Australian proverb (via aristophania)

[maliceandarabbit]

“I like men to behave like men. I like them strong and childish.”

Francoise Sagan

[maliceandarabbit]

Australia: Uluru Waterfalls

[maliceandarabbit]

“I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God; I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.”

Dorothy Parker

[maliceandarabbit]

[maliceandarabbit]

“I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane.”

John Green, Looking for Alaska

[maliceandarabbit]

have you ever looked at someone and thought…

i could look at you for hours and not get bored

[maliceandarabbit]

“Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”

Oscar Wilde

[maliceandarabbit]

“When she’s cuddled close, I feel there’s nothing I can’t do, and I can’t do nothing about it, because my heart is her heart for as long as she wants it.”

Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE