malaikamasiyablogs

[malaikamasiyablogs]

Teenage Love

In today's blog, I want to shed light on the complicated realities of teen romance. From talking stages to situationships to full long-term relationships, I think we can all agree that teenage love is one of the most difficult, questionable and memorable aspects of life. We all remember that one girl or boy that we were never able to forget for the longest period of time and left one of the biggest impacts on us.  To begin, there’s situationships,  which whenever I think about; I just remember everything being a waste of time. I think it is one of the dumbest concepts of “love” I could ever imagine. You talk to someone for long periods of time and claim to have feelings for each other just for nothing to really go anywhere. In my experiences, situationships considered me  spending countless hours and days with someone  for Feelings to be brushed off with something as more as a friendship but less than a relationship. My advice for anyone who is in a situationship is to either establish whether or not you want to continue into something more, or just leave it as friends. Waiting for someone who is undecisive for months on end is simply a waste of time in my opinion. To continue, there are talking stages. To me, a  talking stage is the period of time when you are interested in someone, but just want to get to know them before moving into something deeper. There can be a lot of controversy between talking stages, especially when trying to distinguish between a friend and a talking stage, which does not make me fond of these types of relationships either. Finally, there are relationships. Teen relationships can either develop into the cutest love stories 20 years from now, or can become quite hell for the two people involved. I’ve witnessed 2 month relationships break up years worth of friendships, which I believe we should stop doing because there’s no reason to end a potential life long friendship over a small 2 week fling. Teen relationships can also become toxic extremely fast. Considering that the dating scene is new for most of us in our age, many of us have no clue what we are doing. We may not know how to comfort one another the right way, we may not be able to communicate our feelings properly and we may not know how to navigate through hardships in a mature way since everything is still new. But that’s how we learn and grow, and the more people we interact with, the more comfortable and easier these things will become. In conclusion, love is hard. Whether you are in a long term relationship, still searching in the dating pool or simply enjoying time with yourself, we will all cherish the lessons we learned while seeking love. We will always remember our first love and our first heartbreak as teens. Hopefully, one day we will be able to look back at them and laugh. <3

[malaikamasiyablogs]

Blood Is Thicker Than Water

“Blood is thicker than water” is a saying I’ve always heard growing up by intermediate family. However, as I developed and grew more into my present self, I can firmly say that I disagree with this statement. I believe that the saying “Blood is thicker than water” is something you can only agree with if you have a perfect close knit family, but in reality many families do have their imperfections. I grew up living in many different households, with many different relatives, bouncing from place to place. I never experienced decorating the Christmas tree as a family, family dinners, or simple days lounging around with relatives. Instead, I did these activities alone, something I realized that many of my other friends couldn't relate too. As I became closer with many of my friends, I also became a part of their families. I got invited out on yearly family vacations, enjoyed their family game nights, family gatherings etc. However as I became closer with them, I grew further away from my own family, which always resulted in them saying; “Blood Is Thicker Than Water” and that I must experience those same moments with my biological family and not others. Which to me, is crazy when I would try to show out for my family, but no one would show up. I’ve always wanted to be a part of something that was never there, and I still experience difficulties with my family to this day. I would never have parents come to my birthdays, I would never have parents watch my dance recitals or my karate lessons, I would never enjoy a home cooked meal together at the dinner table with my biological family, but I always had a friend show up. I always had a friend to support me during my sports, I always had a friend to enjoy dinners with, I always had a friend there to show constant love to me. Something I will always appreciate in my life. So in conclusion, the saying “Blood is thicker than water” when in reference to biological family members over non-biological family, is invalid. It doesn't take into account the people who will always stick by your side even if you're not considered “blood”. 

This year for my birthday, my close friend Layla surprised me with a birthday cake, something I haven't gotten in years. This birthday meant a lot to me since I was showered with love from friends all over Windsor and Toronto, while I only received two messages from close family. I will forever cherish this birthday as my favourite as I spent it with all my friends throughout the week.

[malaikamasiyablogs]

The Evolvement of Judgement

As a child, I had that one person I knew I didn’t want to be in my future. I think many of us had that one person. The person our parents used as an example of what not to do or become. The person who was the least successful, the least confident, the least aspirational. I would often find myself not only distancing myself from them, but mocking them. I enforced negativity on an adult who was only presumed to me as a bad influence. However, as I’ve matured I realized that many of those “people” were misunderstood, over exaggerated or simply didn’t conform to the standards that were set onto them by others. I’ve also matured and realized that many of us do grow up into the person you would avoid as a kid. For example, how many of us would walk by smokers holding our breath to make them feel bad? Now fast forward to now how many teens do you know have tried or are hooked onto smoking or vaping. I used to be one of those kids who would say they would never engage with people who have vaped or smoked, but now I can admit that a good 50% of my friends engage in those habits. Elementary schools tell us about the consequences to your health about vaping and smoking but high schools tell us about the consequences of punishments if you’re caught. Our childhood innocence slowly diminishes once we realize that we’re in control of our actions and how it affects our future. It also diminishes once we realize that the people we once would avoid are the same people we call friends. This brings me to my next point, we should stop judging others. As I said earlier, I always had that person my parents would use as a lesson to me for my future. Although I do see their point in wanting their child to have a good future, I believe bringing down others for a life lesson isn’t the best route. We never know what someone is truly going through and we may find later on in life that we relate to that person. We never know what brought that individual to alcoholism. We never know what brought that person into gambling. We never know what brought that person to smoke that cigarette. The moral for this blog is to stop comparing yourself now to what your younger self wanted for his/hers future. Your childhood self maybe wanted to become an astronaut, but maybe you now want to pursue arts. Your childhood self probably said they’d never take a sip of alcohol in their life, but maybe now you want to see what all the hype is about it. Your childhood self probably thought that you’d remain best friends forever with your best friend at that time but now you two have parted ways. We probably all have done something we promised we’d never do 10 years ago, but life changes. We no longer have those innocent eyes that censure us from all bad. We grow and see what life has to offer us, we take chances and face the outcomes. 

[malaikamasiyablogs]

Life As A Mover

Growing up, I moved a lot. I’ve switched between over 20 houses since 2018. Therefore, adjusting to new environments became quite easy for me, in fact it became my new norm. I’ve lost contact with friendships, I’ve regained contact and I’ve made new connections. Moving around neighborhood to neighborhood, city to city, became my new personality trait. Each day I woke up I felt like I was in a new environment, with new people. I still experience, to this day, awkward conversations on a weekly basis that go like “Didn't you used to live…”; “Why are you back?”; “ I remember when you used to go…”. These would end in me explaining the multitude of reasons why I’ve lived in such places, switched between places etc. Which sometimes I do dread, I dont always want to be known as the girl who’s moved from place to place because of her unbalanced lifestyle. However, moving did come with some advantages, although it did take me a while to realize these advantages. One of my most prominent moves was the switch between the 6th and 7th grade, going from Windsor to Toronto. Moving to Toronto was not a big deal to me until I reached my new school. I was used to the environment and have also lived in Toronto bouncing from downtown near Sherbourne, Rosedale, North York etc. However, entering a new middle school on my own was a challenge for me. I remember walking down the hallways and thinking this was going to be my forever school until I graduate. The first week was awkward for me. I was not used to all these new faces and in each individual I saw an old friend. I still do this to this day. Each face I see at my school, I associate them with an old peer and reminisce about the memories we had together. At this school though, It didn't take me so long to adjust as it did with others. I had friend groups take me under their wing and soon felt happy with the outcomes with my friend group. My friend group did face major bumps in the road, but in the end it all turned out well and I still talk to many of them to this day.

My experiences at this school came to a short end with only lasting a year and a half since I had to move back here to WIndsor. This change was hard, I felt like I was losing a piece of myself that I worked so hard on. The move back to Ste-Therese was difficult. Even if it was only 3-4 months since Covid, those months felt dragged on and long. I returned to a school with people I knew from the past, but they weren't the same. Everyone grew up drastically, including me. This made things hard to accustom to, a feeling I would go through years later. After I graduated from the 8th grade, I came to Lajeunesse, however since most of it was online classes I didn't mind much. The switch to Laj to Lessor for grade 10 was fun and simple. I was more confident in myself, and even if I entered knowing no one, I left with the best and closest friends I could imagine. My time at Lessor will be a time I’ll always remember as fun, social and  exciting. This year was short-lived though, when I made my final move to Lajeunesse for the 11th grade.

It was dreadful. My first 3 months at Lajeunesse can only be described as a major disbelonging to these already established friend groups. For these first 3 months at Lajeunesse, I would hate waking up in the morning and going to sleep at night. I was only lounging for comfort at Lessor. As long these 3 months felt, I finally got out my shell and tried to find people to relate to, be a part of and call family. 

In conclusion, moving from town to town, neighborhood to neighborhood, school to school has taught me to be outgoing. Change is going to happen whether you like it or not, how you react to it will define yourself and future outcomes. I'm proud of the things I experience because without it I would not be who I am today.

[malaikamasiyablogs]

The Beginning...

Middle school, high school and finally college. These crucial years ranging from the age 12 to 18 are one of the most influential, life changing and experimental times of many of our lives. These years can make or break your adulthood as well as teach you some of the most valuable lessons you will learn in life such as friendship, heartbreak, trust and much more. As we navigate through these impressionable years of life, we discover how the people we surround ourselves with as well as our social "status" can greatly affect the individual we'll be as well as the one we will become moving on. For example, a kid who was bullied in middle school may face challenges such as anxiety, low self esteem, and self doubt following them in the years of highschool. However, someone who was deemed more socially acceptable and "popular" in middle school could carry on traits like confidence, pride, and respect.  However, from what I’ve witnessed, these roles can switch drastically throughout the years or even months. Changes such as a new makeover (hair, makeup or a new clothing style) as well as playing an intriguing sport, could change the way your peers view you. In the middle of the 8th grade, I just transferred back to my school in Toronto to here in Windsor. When I came, all my confidence diminished. To illustrate; I had to leave all my friends, my family and the memories of the city I’ve grown to love. Returning back to Windsor reminded me of being trapped in the city that had many negative traits attached to it. These negative emotions continued on until I reached tenth grade. When I reached the tenth grade, I switched to a new school (L’essor) that completely changed my life. I met new people who taught me how to embrace myself, incorporating new senses of style, being more sociable as well as other morals. 

Middle School Malaika:

Mal: