malachimulligan

[malachimulligan]

alright, my turn

10,000 notes and i tell all my irl friends im a girl

[malachimulligan]

My favorite thing about tumblr is that for ten years now periodically it will trend that the site was is shutting down but it never actually happens and people say their goodbyes and post their insta but when it really happens i will be happy like good will hunting when matt damon doesnt answer the door at the end because he finally left the house to get laid and one day we will all be free like matt damon is my point

[malachimulligan]

u r registered to vote

okay like, yes i am—but i just want to state for the record that in canada, you can register to vote literally at the polls. like the first time i voted i was not registered to vote when i rolled up to the polling station and i was registered to vote in like under 3 minutes. the only thing registering to vote in advance does for me is that i get a little info packet in the mail telling me when the next election is coming up, and where to go to vote.

i think this is unusual for people in the states??

[malachimulligan]

shoutout to flags that look like landscapes fr gotta be one of my favorite genders

[malachimulligan]

Some Like It Hot (1959) dir. Billy Wilder

[malachimulligan]

feminism never taught me to hate men but it did help me realize that i shouldn’t prioritize them over women & it turns out that alot of men consider that to be hatred lmao.

[malachimulligan]

Townes Van Zandt posing for the cover of his album Delta Momma Blues with a copy of The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle in his pocket

photographed by Ken Beckles in New York's East Village, 1970

[malachimulligan]

[later] I don't get why our pizza slices have such terrible reviews; the geotextile-infused sauce gives the toppings incredible slope stability!

Tariffs [Explained]

Transcript Under the Cut

[Ponytail walks over to Cueball with a phone in her hand. Cueball turns away from his desk to look at her.] Ponytail: You know how I blocked all news sites at the start of 2021 to avoid spoilers for Avatar 2, and then forgot to start checking them again? Cueball: Yeah, we've been meaning to talk to you about that...

[Ponytail stops in front of Cueball.] Ponytail: Well, I just checked the news for the first time, and why is the economy tanking? Cueball: Uh, the president is mad at other countried and imposed a lot of tariffs.

[Closeup on Ponytail's head.] Ponytail: Wait, who's the president now? Cueball: Donald Trump. Ponytal: ...Still?? Cueball: No, again.

[Pan out.] Ponytail: OK, fine, what's a tariff? Why is he doing this? Cueball: You know that pizzeria your comapny orders from? They don't buy anything from you, right?

[Closeup on Cueball, arms spread.] Cueball: Right, so they're ripping you off! You're paying them tons of money, and what are you getting for it? Ponytail: I mean... pizza? Cueball: See? They're not helping your business at all! Cueball: What a ripoff!

[Pan out. Ponytail has her hand under her chin.] Ponytail: What would they even buy from us? I guess we could survey a pizza... Cueball: Yes, perfect! You refuse to let the delivery driver past your security desk unless they venmo you for an equivalent value of LIDAR scans.

[Closeup on Ponytail's head.] Ponytail: Wouldn't they just stop taking our orders? Cueball: Perfect, balance restored!

[Pan out.] Ponytail: OK, but I still want pizza. Cueball: Can you just make one? You have all that gear. Ponytail: I don't think pizza made with lidar diodes would be very good. Cueball: Ugh, why is everyone so picky about toppings?

[malachimulligan]

Every actor should be this loud about their characters' homoerotic relationships with other men. Rip to the only real ally.

[malachimulligan]

[malachimulligan]

[malachimulligan]

If you can't find me on Tumblr, forgive me, I might die these days. Every day gets worse than the day before. Some money can make me live in peace....

Share and share thank you all

[malachimulligan]

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

[malachimulligan]

I wonder if people with hearing aids ever just go "yeah, that's enough. I'm done hearing today", and take them off. Just going "fuck it" and put your surroundings on mute.

[malachimulligan]

Please call this recession the Trump Slump.

We need to put Trump's name on this.

[malachimulligan]

maxwells silver hammer rules bc you can literally feel the other beatles wanting to kill themselves emanating from the song. every hit of the drum feels like this.

[malachimulligan]