majorfmonogram

[majorfmonogram]

I have Perry thwart Doof when he’s making inators.

I have Perry thwart Doof when he’s scheming.

I have Perry thwart Doof when he’s thinking about scheming.

I have Perry thwart Doof when he’s running errands.

I have Perry thwart Doof when he’s making cheese.

I have Perry thwart Doof when he’s making doonkleberry cake.

Just assume I always have Perry thwart Doofenshmirtz, okay?

A free verse poem by me.

[majorfmonogram]

let’s see the shocked face; I need to know the level of severity for Agent P’s monthly review

shmirtzendoof, how did you feel when perry dressed up as an old lady to kiss you?

you can actually pinpoint my initial reaction when I was impressed by his scheming

...until the shock of the entire situation set in

[majorfmonogram]

I’ll have you know, Im a very busy man! Who else would run a secret agency for pets to protect the tri state area from a myriad of villains, WHILE battling an allergy against my favorite food??

Major Monogram is often late for his engagements.

[majorfmonogram]

<<𝗘𝗠𝗔𝗜𝗟 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗞𝗘𝗗 𝗨𝗥𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗧>> 🚩

𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌: 𝐌𝐚𝐣𝐨𝐫 𝐅𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦

𝐓𝐎: 𝐎𝐰𝐜𝐚𝐀𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬[𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭]

(AUTOMATED VOICE MESSAGE SYSTEM— 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙗𝙚𝙙)

𝙰𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜,

𝙳𝚘𝚘𝚏𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚖𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚣 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗.

𝚆𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗’𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝙰𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝙿 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙱𝙾𝙳𝚈 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚞𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙰𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝙿’𝚜 —𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐫!— 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚏𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚊𝚢.

𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝚗𝚘𝚠, 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚎 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝙳𝚘𝚘𝚏𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚖𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚣? 𝙷𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎!

- 𝙼𝚘𝚗𝚘𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖 𝚘𝚞𝚝

𝚈𝚎𝚜 𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚕, 𝙸 𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚙𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚛𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚜! 𝚆𝚊𝚒𝚝, 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚗? 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚍𝚘 𝙸 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚒𝚝 𝚘𝚏𝚏—

[majorfmonogram]

he’s doing well. at his internship, that is. Not that he’s allowed to know that.

Physically he’s in peak health and emotionally he’s doing decent, but not because I check in on him or anything

Do you ever just wonder

how Carl the intern is doing?

[majorfmonogram]

He gets college credit!!!!

Doofenshmirtz would pay Carl. That's all I'm saying.

[majorfmonogram]

there’s a certain intrigue to it.. it almost distracted me from my state of upset over being on camera without a clean shave!

-When Carl doesn’t shave, he is only capable of growing out a single facial hair

-Carl is able to play the hair like a string instrument (to Major Monogram’s disgust and fascination)

[majorfmonogram]

Doofenshmirtz is a villain, so of course he would drop bombs of any kind! Particularly the f bomb! I have yet to see him attempt another bomb, but if he did he would be thwarted by Agent P

my take on the alignment meme

[majorfmonogram]

when our best agent converses with the enemy right in front of us

[majorfmonogram]

Carl said that Perry thwarted Doofenshmirtz from buying a studded cowboy belt. Thank you, Agent P. I can only take so much evil-doing.

[majorfmonogram]

Agent P, I’ve found Doofenshmirtz’s Tumblr!! Investigate this immediately!!

i always have dark circles under my eyes even if i get like 14 hours of sleep maybe if they get dark enough i can persuade a band of raccoons to accept me into their clan

[majorfmonogram]

I’ve gotta hand it to Doof, if there’s one thing he got right it’s his parenting skills. Minus the fact that Vanessa and MY SON went on a date once.

Great googly moogely, I make an appearance here!

I remember this. My legs fell asleep.

I’m...I’m sorry, I just this minute realized that there are people out there who have no idea that Heinz Doofenshmirtz is the best fictional father out there. You guys don’t mind if I bombard your entire dashboard with proof right? Excellent.

BONUS: Doofenshmirtz around children he literally just met who wrecked his ‘inator’.

Literally I could go on and on with examples but my computer’s starting to crash from the amount of images.

The point is that Heinz Doofenshmirtz is the greatest fictional father out there and anyone who says otherwise was hit by a Lie-inator.

[majorfmonogram]

I run investigations on all my employees (Carl, the animals). Not because I’m concerned they’ve been wrong-doing.

I just want to know what’s going on in their lives and using tech savvy stalking devices is easier and more efficient than carrying on a conversation.

[majorfmonogram]

Not sure who this “Loki” guy is that everyone’s talking about, but whoever he is, Perry could definitely beat him in a fight.

[majorfmonogram]

Good job, Agent P

This scene slays me

(From Phineas and Ferb - Candace’s Big Day)

[majorfmonogram]

Heh heh, remember when @shmirtzendoof made that video in high school of him falling into a toilet. Classic.

[majorfmonogram]

Aren’t you superme ruler in that other dimension? ...wonder how alt doof would feel about this.

make a troll parler account

the thought alone of being stuck in that white supremacist, fascist boot licking, conspiracy theory WASTELAND makes me want to cry out in anguish. I’d rather live all of my tragic backstories over again AND admit to my own brother, Roger, that he isn’t, in fact, the worst politician of all time. please do not ask for such a traumatic task from me again