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“ooh garlic salt isn’t real” yeah well neither is your MARRIAGE after i’m done FUCKING YOUR HUSBAND and afterwards he eats my delicious cooking that i seasoned with GARLIC SALT. FUCK YOU

i think. you sent this to the wrong person. but im enamoured with your energy. you can have my metaphorical husband you deserve her

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flirt - @wolfstarmicrofic - word count: 334

"I'm dying, Lils," Remus whined, pillowing his head in his arms and sighing into the desk he was leaning on. "It's just not fair."

"What, because he flirts with you?" Lily responded dryly. "You can't let it get to you, Remus. Sirius Black flirts with anything that moves. If you get all flustered, then he's won."

"I know that," Remus murmured, still slumped over, "but he doesn't realize that I.."

"Want to snog him senseless? No, I know," Lily replied, and Remus could hear the grin in her voice. "But you have to fight back, you know?"

He lifted his head and looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "How? Hex him? He'd just laugh."

"No. Give him a taste of his own medicine," she shrugged.

Remus contemplated that for a while. Was he even capable of such a thing?

--

"Heya, Moons," Sirius said casually to him a few hours later, moving to sit next to him on the couch and give him an over-the-top wink. "That shirt looks delicious on you."

But rather than blush or stammer like he usually did, Remus steeled himself and thought about the responses Lily had helped him work out. "It...would look much better on your bedroom floor," he replied, using every ounce of his control to maintain eye contact with the other Gryffindor.

He expected Sirius to snort. To laugh or give him a high-five for finally standing up for himself.

What he did not expect was for his best friend to turn positively maroon and lose his voice completely, little pieces of words falling from his lips as he gasped for breath, eyes wide as saucers.

James, who was near them, burst out laughing. "I...I think you broke him!" he shrieked in between guffaws, tears streaming down his face.

But Remus was far too busy looking at Sirius, who seemed like he was the one who was flustered, for the first time in his life.

And Remus didn't hate that look on him at all.

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i’m just saying that if i was sirius in a moonwater fic, someone would die

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Ngl this checks out

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baby remus lupin pulling up to hogwarts never having had a friend his own age, only having his loving smothering mother, his dad who swears in every sentence, and books that have a dialogue that no one actually speaks irl causing him to be the most socially unaware cursing mysterious child that also disappeared once a month

bro would kiss sirius on the cheek and say smth like “until the sun rises again” and would actually not return till the morning freaking sirius TF out

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Regulus would start peppering kisses all over James' face every time he got drunk, and James would just sit there completely sober hunched over to let Regulus do whatever the fuck he likes.

Regulus would also continuously repeat to James "You taste like fizzing whizbees" "You're so sweet" "I wanna eat you" and James' heart would melt.

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[at the astronomy tower]

Sirius: REGULUS! Please don't do it!

Regulus: I-

Sirius: Is it because you're scared to come out? Or because you're in love with James?

Regulus: Wha-

Sirius: Or is it because I am better looking than you?

Regulus: I-

Sirius: Or maybe 'cause you're so short? Or because you're ashamed of your twink nature?

Regulus: Bitch- I was just looking at the stars! But one more word and I'll actually jump.

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Marauders playing never have I ever part 3: Pandora: Never have I ever...cried over food! *Sirius, James and Barty all drinking* Sirius, to Remus: Don't look at me like that, you will cry when you taste Effie's homemade chocolate cake!. *Regulus also drinking* James: Regulus?! You cried over food before?! Regulus, rolling his eyes: Yeah, a few days ago. James: Why?? Regulus, shrugging: I found out I was pregnant. The whole room: Sirius: You're pregnant?! James: We're having a baby?! Marlene: What the fuck?! Peter: Tell me first when you have the second one. Barty,: Wait, they didn't know? Sirius: YOU TOLD BARTY BEFORE YOU TOLD ME, YOUR BROTHER- James: I'm your husband, Regulus! Regulus, scoffing: Gryffindors.

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Coming back - a jegulus microfic

@into-the-jeggyverse - February 18: Grimmauld Place - Words: 321

Regulus stopped at the base of the stairs, inescapable dread filling his stomach.

James pressed his hand, drawing slow circles with his thumb in his palm.

“Are you all right, love? We can leave and come back another day. Or never. You decide.”

Regulus wanted to leave. In fact, every fibre in his body told him to run. But he needed to do this.

“Just… stay with me?”

“Always. Take all the time you need.”

Regulus took a deep breath, then cautiously started to climb the stairs. He let the rush of panic run through his body. Clenched James’ hand, but otherwise felt his emotions without distracting himself. It was like in therapy. The angst was still there, but it didn’t skyrocket. It didn’t stop him from doing what he wanted.

Quietly they moved from room to room. Regulus picked up a few things and turned them over, accepting that they stirred both good and bad memories. He picked out a few books he wanted to bring home. When they came to his room he stopped again.

“We could redo this place”, he suggested and looked at James.

James nodded. “Would you like that?”

Part of him just wanted to burn the place to the ground and be done with it. But he also wanted to show them – no, they weren’t here anymore – he wanted to show himself that he neither conformed nor ran away anymore. He held the power to shape his own life.

But he wasn’t sure he would ever want to live here, even if they rebuilt it until unrecognisability. Maybe it would be a lot of work for nothing.

“If you don’t think it’s too much work.”

“No, it will be fun. Dibbs for painting at least one room like a forest! Oh, and one room can be quidditch-themed!”

“And… if I still don’t want to live here when we’re done?”

“Then we can just sell it.”

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I just saw someone call a 78,000 word fanfic a ‘short fic’… that’s the size of a novel, and a long YA book..

And the biggest issue with this? I looked at 78,000 and went ‘yeah I can take that down in a day’

Fanfics have either ruined me or made me a super reader.

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Regulus: How does he look at me?

Remus : Like he never wants to look away.

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shout out to ace and aro kids who are constantly bombarded with the opinion that sex and romantic love are directly connected to living a happy life.

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Comfort wolfstar

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Evan: Well, this is the weirdest occult summoning ritual I've ever walked in on.

Barty: ... How many have you walked in on?

Evan: Pandora is my sister.

Evan: I don't bother counting.

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“I never see your face at the club” well i never see your work under archive of our own m/m slow burn enemies to lovers section either

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CNC isn't as simple as "No doesn't mean stop" CNC is "No doesn't mean stop, because we previously discussed boundaries and limits. And it was established that Cowabunga means stops"

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The second ao3 stops working I go straight to tumblr. I'm past checking the wifi.