magicpika

[magicpika]

gordan ramsey said this on kitchen nightmares and it blew me away so i took a screenshot but amazon prime app censored me and handed me this work of art

[magicpika]

having heartburn so frequently that my dr decided to medicate me for it has a silver lining in that now when i forget to take my depression meds i get a reminder in the form of acid eating my esophagus because I take them at the same time

[magicpika]

[magicpika]

i think “video games aren’t really the violent child-corrupting threat some parents worry they are” and “certain circles of gamer culture are incredibly toxic and can lead people down dangerous/hateful ideological rabbit holes” are ideas that can absolutely coexist

[magicpika]

I am a chronic turn signaller. People will be like “there’s no cars around.” Wrong, I’m

1. letting pedestrians know.

2. I’m doing this in case I missed a car or person somewhere, or

2b. I’m gonna be stuck at this intersection til a car or person shows up

3. It makes it a habit

[magicpika]

Tragedy! You set out to read a negative review of a piece of media you dislike, only to find that the critic is being completely unfair to it and making a bunch of bad, unsupportable arguments.

[magicpika]

The bust of a middle aged man made out of butter was sitting on my bathroom counter. It turned and began to scream at me, but the scream was utterly silent. Everything was so silent. I was so frightened of the butter bust.

[magicpika]

This one felt fitting

[magicpika]

It's still kinda wild how Phineas and Ferb managed to completely hijack an idiom. Now whenever someone hears a sentence leading with "If I had a nickel for everytime [...]", odds are their brain auto fills with "I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice," rather than "I'd be rich," or "I could [action that requires purchasing something requiring an obscene amount of money]". Y'know, what the idiom originally was

[magicpika]

u ever see someone with extremely fucked up views (or actions) and think wowww if a couple of things in my life went the tiniest bit differently that would have been me

[magicpika]

[magicpika]

this is a joke with no audience but I really wish there was a Wii U game that told you to look at the gamepad but then the gamepad just said "psyche" while simultaneously an enemy on the TV screen attacked you

[magicpika]

[magicpika]

HAAAAAANK!!!! HANK IT'S NOT A BOOSTER! HANK! THIS YEARS COVID SHOT IS A WHOLE NEW VACCINATION SERIES THAT GIVES YOU RESISTANCE TO STRAINS THAT HAVE EMERGED SINCE 2021 , HANK!!! IT'S AN UPDATE, NOT A BOOSTER!!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAANK!

[magicpika]

pros of corded headphones:

Cant lose phone

dont need to charge headphones

they look cool and are amazing

cons of corded headphones:

Every doorknob in existence is now out to get you

[magicpika]

[magicpika]

i think if jessie and james teamrocket transitioned theyd just switch their names and call it a day. or this already happened. this is my one true belief