magicalfuckingunicorns

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

God I wish these were also in the southeastern US. Would appreciate snake control.

Could i please get a small mammal cursed bio fact if u have one

the grasshopper mouse of the southwestern United States looks like a standard house mouse but is almost entirely carnivorous and is known to kill and consume everything from less homicidal mice to goddamn rattlesnakes, which they kill by jumping onto the snake’s back and gnawing through its spine

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

The baby tree frogs are back! Tis a glorious sight!

A bit disturbing to listen to them all, but they are cute!

After a lot of rain here in FL these baby frogs appeared. They eerily all faced the same direction.

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

My cat is so stressed by everyone being home, I just bought him anti anxiety hemp drugs. Can't wait for them to get here because he's trying to lick himself bald.

Honestly my dogs are profiting from dropped crumbs and toilet paper thrones, so win win.

via @andlikelaura

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

I came here for a distraction and all I got were new porn blogs following me. Please stop, I don't wanna see naked women. If I did I'd just stare at the mirror and stop knocking when going into people's rooms.

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

A dull hoe is useless though. Needs to be decently sharp to work well.

If you aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed, you can still be the hoe.

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

My childhood was a lie.

what if the teenage mutant ninja turtles exist in the mcu but they’re just really good at staying under the radar and criminals are too embarrassed to admit they got beat up by some guys in “turtle costumes” so they blame daredevil. peter parker worked as a pizza delivery boy for a while and brought like eight pizzas to a man hole cover but thought nothing of it bc nyc

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

God I love this.

Captain Marvel (2019) dir. Anna Boden & Ryan Fleck

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

Imma need 100 of them. Gotta release them into the wild, let them have at the local rattlesnake population.

Could i please get a small mammal cursed bio fact if u have one

the grasshopper mouse of the southwestern United States looks like a standard house mouse but is almost entirely carnivorous and is known to kill and consume everything from less homicidal mice to goddamn rattlesnakes, which they kill by jumping onto the snake's back and gnawing through its spine

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

Fun story: we had a swarm on a rosebush, so we called our neighbor to remove them. He's a part-time beekeeper, we keep gardens in our yard, so he told us he'd move a hive close to our property so they could pollinate everything. (No insecticides or pesticides used here!)

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

This is exactly why I do chores that late. Everyone is asleep at the other end of the house, CPAPs on, and are also hard of hearing, so nobody notices. 😀

You never realise how noisy simple tasks are until you need to do them at 3am while everybody is asleep.

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

A PARTIAL LIST OF WINTER JOYS, CONTINUED:

Sitting by the woodstove after coming inside.

A PARTIAL LIST OF WINTER JOYS:

karate-kicking the icicles off your car when you get out of work ksssh ksssshhhhh

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

GOODBYE 20DIETEEN

Also goodbye 2010s. It's been,,, weird.

HELLO 2020.

Idc if I'm early, Imma start this decade right and sleep at a semi-normal hour.

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

Well, I'm not surprised it called me a robot. Got a 35....

Test your colour vision

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

hello I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. The anonymity of tumblr means that I associate my idea/image of you with your icon and sometimes I look at people’s icons and I’m like ‘hmmm….what is that and why?’ 

so pls reblog this and comment in the tags the meaning behind your icon and why you chose it. this is a social experiment. do it for science pls.

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

reblog with the last song you listened to in the tags

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

This guy keeps perching on things that jjjuusstt support him and stares into my house.

He's a good birb, he can look in my living room.

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

They're such good kitcats! So fluffy, loveable, and unstable, just like me. Would get along great with my older cat, Toes. Especially if I had two and both randomly evolved to flareon and glaceon, then he could rest his old bones against the heat and cold as needed. Or both, make a kitcat sandwich.

Tell me y’all’s favorite pokemon and why! 

Reblog with a pic and a reason as if you’re showing off your pets thats the mood I want