maggcts

[maggcts]

“Today I am going to destroy the entirety of Canada, Finland, Australia, Germany, aaand whatever planet Pyro came from.”

[maggcts]

* eats poutine in front of you * * eats poutine in front of you * * eats poutine in front of you * * eats poutine in front of you * * eats poutine in front of you * * eats poutine in front of you * * eats poutine in front of you * * eats poutine in front of you * * eats poutine in front of you * * eats poutine in front of you * * eats poutine in front of you * * eats poutine in front of you * * eats poutine in front of you * * eats poutine in front of you * * eats poutine in front of y

“ ... Poutine sounds veeery similar to Pu.tin.  And Sputnik.”

“What are you trying to tell me here maggot”

[maggcts]

Through the muffle of pyro's mask, there's a mumbled "isn't america a kind of marijuana?"

“And now who the hell told you that?!”

[maggcts]

All of you have just signed your ass-kicking warrants.

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"America? Ain't heard'a that, mate. Some kind of beer or summat?"

“The others I will excuse, but I will NOT excuse you. You should know what America is by now! I talk about it all the time!”

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meanwhile in my wonderful job of being an admin of a community server

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”Um.....w-What’s an america?”

“Alright, WHICH ONE OF YOU BROUGHT THE BABY HERE?! ANYONE?!”

No response.

“... Goddamnit.”

“... Alright, listen up— ” Soldier kneels down to the child. “ — I am going to tell you the story of the greatest country that has ever graced on this hunk of rock that’s floating in space. America is a beautiful country, founded by the most fearsome pairs of founding fathers...”

He’ll once again tell a veeery exaggerated story of America, but this time having magic and wizardy thrown into the mix in order to keep the kid interested. The youth of today should know about the United States!

[maggcts]

myownfairytale​:

  ❛  eheh… i don’t zhink i can do zhat.  ❜

. . .

“Medic, I do not recall allowing you with losing MY organs. Put them back in!”

[maggcts]

//I just wanna say....... Big respect for this blog

wheeze....

ive been lookin at this ask for the longest time trying to find the right words, but i appreciate it! im often a bit harsh or kind of perfectionist abt portraying characters i really like (includes my writing), because i wanna be able to do a somewhat good job while making it enjoyable. very glad that people out there are enjoying the shenanigans i throw out sometimes!

thank you though, it means a lot! 

[maggcts]

i have never heard of this "america" before...

“That’s impossible! How in God’s name have you not heard of the GREATEST country in existence?!”

Oh no... oh, he’s getting real patriotic now. Look what they did.

“Well, LET ME TELL YOU THE STORY.... America is a beautiful country founded by the most fearsome pairs of founding fathers no one country has seen before. They knew it in their fake British blood that they could not be tie down to that country’s tyranny, so they moved across the sea, beat the CRAAAP out of the water until the United States of America was formed into existence! They were God’s messengers to us all, they even invented the word FREEDOM while forming this new land. They then--”

He was giving a very exaggerated story of America right now.

[maggcts]

myownfairytale​:

❛  in medicine, zhis is vhat ve call “not good.”  ❜

“Then put it back where it was.”

[maggcts]

“What was I doing again?”

[maggcts]

                              ❝JE SUIS UNE OMBRE AVEC                              UNE PRÉCISION MORTELLE❞

        IND. SEL. PRIV. HEADCANON BASED RED SPY FROM TEAM FORTRESS 2                                 multiverse / dark elements present

                                     ART MADE BY OMAJINAI

[maggcts]

‘ 𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒑 𝒂 𝒑𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕, 𝒅𝒐𝒄! ’ :  the engineer of team fortress 2, written by jay - at @lilolnumber​.      //     ‘ 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒏? 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒔𝒐 𝒖𝒈𝒍𝒚! ’ :   the medic of team fortress 2 as featured on a multimuse, written by jo - at @myownfairytale​.

[maggcts]

France has the most battles won in the world. And has always fought bravely.

“You sound like one of the French yourself, you know. I bet you are trying to spread lies to the innocent Americans out there by making them believe that France is just like us.

You are wrong!”

[maggcts]

bushmannsrules​:

With a slight wince at the sudden shouting, Sniper simply blinked back at him, hardly looking perturbed; just exhausted. Soldier and he clashed often, as their personality types couldn’t be more different. It was only due to how patient Mick was, and how little they saw of each other, that their dynamic hadn’t soured more over the time they’d worked on base together.

Sniper didn’t like being yelled at like he was a petulant child, or treated like he’d made a rookie mistake by someone who he was dead sure didn’t have any actual military experience. Not that he’d had much military experience either, being mostly self taught hunting game. Still, though. Professionals have standards. 

Mick was almost winded by the force of the weapon being shoved at his chest. He’d not expected Soldier, of all people, to allow someone else to hold possession over his gun. It felt a little foreign in his grip, recalling that the last time he’d done so had been to ward of crocs at a small lake near his childhood home. 

“You sure?”

“I mean… not used a shotgun in a while, but, it should come back to me.” Then, with a small tut, he twitched his head down in the direction of his hip, indicating the kukri that was always on his person. “You can use that if need be. Won’t be needin’ it if I got your gun.” 

“I am very sure, Sniper. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be giving you my shotgun.”

Now diverting his attention over to the ongoing battleground, a sadistic smile would creep up to the soldier’s face as he cracked his knuckles. Oh, how he has longed for the day he had an excuse to use his own bare hands to beat the crap out of his enemies.

Granted, a gun made it easier to kill them, but fighting with nothing but your fists is also patriotic.

“It’s simple, son. You aim, you shoot, and you keep doing it over and over.”

The helmeted mercenary would looked over slightly to the mention of the kukri, hidden eyes briefly glancing at the machete until he turned his back.

“You can keep that. I have my own guns right here. ... minus the honey. Too late for that now!”

Those words said, Soldier now begins his slow approach to the battle.

He will surely be the first one to die.

[maggcts]

“Oh? Are you a real solider?” - Hana-Chan

“Of course I am, civilian! I’ve served in World War 2 and beat the crap out of the Europeans myself! Several times! With nothing but my guts and my guns! I was even given medals!”

There’s his delusion at work.

“Why? Did someone SAY I WASN’T?!”