magesmeatymuses

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Hum, hum...

Toxic weight gain yuri (deteriorating), or toxic weight gain yuri (gradually becoming better until their relationship is better)... Which way shall it be?

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There once was a rabbit by the name of Reisen Udongein Inaba who was Queen of the Pirates! She had fame, power, and wealth beyond your wildest dreams! Before she ate herself into immobility, these were the final words she said:

"HhhhHHHhURRRARRRLLRRPPPPHHHHHH... uughhh... Mmmmuuhhhrreee, nnnooohhhwwww...! Ooorrrr Ihhhhlll sshhhwaaahhhllooohhww yyyuuuhhh wwhhhooohhhhlleeee...!"

Ever since, pirates from all over the world set sail for Gensokyo's waters, searching for One Piece, the meal that would make their captain's dreams come true (and sate her appetite)!

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📖 Same your way, as sitcom of who you think would fit

"...Siiiggghhh."

Entering on the stage from the right, the crowd went wild as Reisen walked onto the Geidontei pub set, parking her fat ass in the booth in the middle next to the two other rabbits there.

"Girls, I'm gonna be honest—clothes-shopping in Gensokyo is impossible."

"Are you kidding me? You split the seams on your shirt again?"

Loud cheering for the lovable scamp character, Tewi Inaba, who looks at Reisen with an incredulous stare.

"You keep doing this every week, Reisen! I'm not made of money, you know?"

"She's right, though, Tewi..."

Even MORE cheering for the hit fan favourite, Rei'sen, introduced late in Season 1 but eventually grew in so much popularity that she became part of the main crew and permanently changed the dynamic of the show.

"Being on the Moon was easy enough because they made clothes our size up there, but in Gensokyo, we don't have a lot of options...!"

"Okay, well, that's because your clothes were actually military uniforms and they had to make one-size-fits-all sizes for them."

Canned laughter.

"Look, I don't know what you girls want me to do! I gave you girls as much advice I possibly can!"

"Well, it's not enough, unless you want me to walk around Eientei butt naked!"

Canned laughter.

"I know I certainly can't...! I've heard enough mooning jokes to last a lifetime!"

Even harder canned laughter.

"...Well, when you put it that way, that doesn't sound half bad, actually."

Canned laughter, cheering at Tewi's unabashedness.

"...You know..."

Audience goes "ooh" and "aah" as Yuugi makes her obligatory appearance as the advice-giver for Geidontei while Miyoi Okunoda isn't around.

"There is one place where you could find all the clothing you'd ever need. I know in Gensokyo that there is someone well-versed in fabric stuff, and she'd be more than welcome to help you out... for a price."

"...R-Really? Who is it?"

"You know her already, girlie! It's Alice Margatroid, and I hear she needs some dolls to practice sewing clothes for!"

All three simultaneously gulp at once as the audience erupts in laughter, eager to see the shenanigans they get up to this episode.

Roll title card for "Two-and-a-Half Buns". (It's a reference to Reisen and Rei'sen being fat fucks while Tewi is thin.)

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Send 📖+ an AU scenario to get a glance at what my muse would be like in that universe

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nah they actin like nothing even happened

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There's always a wonder to be seen in this kind of drama, and I do hope that they suffer more emotional tragedies (affectionate)

"...Lumine? Lumine, where are you? Lumine...!"

Paimon didn't have to fly far to see Lumine, currently sitting at the riverbank with her hands on her knees as she stared into the water. Sighing in relief, Paimon flittered to her, sitting next to her on the grass.

"Oh, Lumine..."

"...Paimon?"

Lumine glanced to her side.

"I'm... going to take a guess and say you went to go see Mikan?"

"Well... Yes. Of course I was going to. You're my friend—your pain is my pain, and your happiness is my happiness. I couldn't just let her say that stuff to you."

"...She was right, though."

Lumine hung her head.

"I... never really find it easy to think about other people. It doesn't come easy to me. I never treat you or my other friends like you deserve to be treated... I'm an awful friend."

"...So what if she was right? She said what she said specifically to tear you down! Sure, at times you can be really thick-skulled, and you always charge forward without thinking—but you never do it to hurt other people. You're a lovely friend."

"It's... alright, Paimon. Really, it is. I just... had a lot to think about. It's easy for me to just ignore these things about myself because I never think too hard about the future or the consequences of the things I do. It was wrong then, and it's... wrong now."

She sighs.

"I shouldn't have said what I said to Mikan. Shouldn't have just played it off as a joke..."

"...Lumine..."

She puts a hand on Lumine's.

"I hope you know... I'm always going to fight in your corner. Just take half a step. If you can't meet me here, I'll meet you there—but if you want to move forward and become a better person, let us both share that journey."

"...S-Since when did you get so sappy? You're gonna make me cry, Paimon...!"

"Paimon's had a lot of time to practice! Come on..."

Paimon begins to float again, moving in front of Lumine's face.

"We've got an adventure to go on. Let's take things one step at a time!"

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@warriorpax Honestly, I think Mikan really needed to hear that Good on ya, Paimon

"...Mikan? Mikan, hey, I just wanted to check in and see how things were going—"

"...M-Mikan?"

In the middle of the floor is a bawling nurse, currently hugging her knees as she blubbers uncontrollably. Hajime, standing in the doorway, is a little bit perplexed at what he's supposed to do in this situation, so he does what anyone would do—sit down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Mikan? Mikan, is everything okay?"

"WAAAAHHHHHHHHH! I'M A HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE PERSON! I REALLY AM JUST A SPINELESS GOOD-FOR-NOTHING!"

"...Okay, we're going nowhere very quickly."

Hajime, thinking quickly—or perhaps not at all—employs a technique known by many psychiatrists: the "Confuse The Hell Out Of The Patient" grounding technique. He pats Mikan's back and asks:

"Mikan? Are you, like, legit sad?"

"...whuh?"

Mikan's tears immediately stop flowing, the nurse instead looking at Hajime like he's a fucking moron.

"Yeah, that worked."

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"Listen... You know Lumine as a problem. I just brought up all the times she, you know, let us down, which she constantly does. Like those lecherous comments on any fat person she sees, or the constant spending of your hard-earned money, or the fact that she treats her friends like tools! I had to do it, it was the right thing—"

"You didn't do that. You brought up all the times she let you down. I don't remember asking you to say anything on my behalf, now, did I?"

"...Huh? Huh? Huh? So you're coming here to—to defend her? Why? After all the times she's screwed you over? Shouldn't you be thanking me for finally opening her eyes? For making her realise that she's an awful person? You're the one constantly getting mad at her for ruining any chances of living a normal life!"

"You're not wrong that Lumine's got a penchant for being a boneheaded dummy, but I don't think there's any possible way that you can justify what you just said to her. Lumine's my friend! Do you seriously think for a second that I actually believe that she takes me for granted? And all that talk about using her friends as tools—I don't deny that she makes it really obvious when she's trying to hit on someone, but she's not an outright lech, Mikan!"

"So you're just turning a blind eye to what she does, huh...? I didn't take you for the enabling type, Paimon. I have to say, I'm really disappointed in you—"

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH, MIKAN!"

"...!"

"You... You want to talk about awful people? I'm looking at one right now! Talking to me about how it's the right thing to do, talking about how she lets us down—you don't actually care about any of that at all, do you? You just wanted to tear her down out of some sick sense of 'justice'! If you actually cared about helping her become a better person, you wouldn't have said it in the worst way possible! What is wrong with you, Mikan?!"

"Wh... What's wrong with me?! What's wrong with Lumine?! She totally deserved it, and you know it!"

"No, she did not! Sure, talking to her about her problems in a healthy way would have been acceptable, but all that other stuff you said crossed a line! Who are you to complain about her treating people like tools when your so-called beloved has been using you as one this entire time?!"

"...! W-Who told you—?!"

"I look around the bariatric ward whenever Lumine visits. You think I don't realise that they're all like this because that Junko girl's been planning this kind of thing from day one? For all your talk about hating people who are fake, you sure seem happy kissing Junko's butt like a sycophant!"

"You... You keep Junko's name out of your mouth! She loves me! She forgave me for being the way I am! You and Lumine could never understand!"

"Oh, I understand. And you want to know what I see? I think that, deep down, you understand that you're an absolutely miserable person that secretly loathes everyone around you for not treating you the way you think you deserve. You do your job that you hate not because you actually like doing it, but because you think that all your suffering's going to be worth it when you get your revenge."

"I... What? Huh? H-How could you say that kind of thing to me—?!"

"But I'm going to say this once to you, Mikan, and it's something you know deep down that I'm telling the truth. The only reason that you're miserable is because you keep dragging others down even when they go out of their way to help you out. You're so, so miserable a person that Junko knew she could make you do anything she wanted if she gave you a reason to love her just by virtue of 'forgiving' you for being this way. But it's not that you yelled at Lumine because she's a bad person, or because people don't see what you do—you yelled at her because she's just like you but doesn't take her feelings out on others who don't deserve it."

"I... W-Whuh...? Huh? Wh... I... P-Paimon... Take it back...!"

"I'm not taking anything back until you go to Lumine and apologise for being mean and cruel. You better take a good look at yourself, Mikan, because you're never going to get better if you keep acting the way you are now."

Floating away, Paimon leaves Mikan in shock, jaw dropped as she processes what she just heard.

"I... sniff... T-That's not... true... h-haahh...! Nngfh... ugghhffh..."

"...WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

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KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

"For the last time, Lumine, I never want to see you agai—!"

"...O-Oh! Paimon! What a surprise! I... didn't think I'd be getting a visit from you today, either!"

"B-By all means, please have a seat—"

"I don't need a seat, Mikan. I can fly. You know why I'm here."

"...I-I really couldn't say, sorry, I—"

"What did you say to Lumine?"

"...Oh. So that's why you're here."

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She's just going to be taking it easy for a bit. She's got a lot to think about.

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"..."

"...L... Lumine? A-Are you okay? You haven't, uh... been quite yourself lately..."

"..."

"...Uh... Ah!"

Paimon claps her hands.

"How about we go say hello to Eula and Amber? You love feeding them big and round, right? P-Paimon thinks it'll cheer you right up!"

"...I don't feel like it."

"Whuh?"

Paimon blinks.

"U-Uh, Paimon heard through the grapevine that they're gonna be doing belly dancing competitions in Sumeru! They've all been on the heavy side lately, s-so, like—"

"I said, I don't feel like it."

"...What exactly did Mikan say to you in there? You know you can trust me, right? W-We're friends..."

"Just stop, okay? Just leave me alone. I... I don't have anything to say to you right now. Please."

"..."

Paimon watches her walk away with a solemn expression on her face. Slowly, but surely, a very furious look emerges on Paimon's face as she looks back at Hope's Peak Academy.

"...I'm gonna be having a word with that nurse."

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Despite having a high sex drive, it is actually exceedingly easy for sexual innuendos to fly right over my head. It is... embarrassing.

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Part of me wants to provoke her, part of me wants to comfort her.

It's a terrible war.

Approach her at your own risk. Even I can't guarantee that she'll hold back, and I'm the one writing her. She's just not very pleased at the moment, suffice to say...

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Mikan will relax once junko gives the damned ending order.. It's been almost 2 years HOW MUCH MORE TIME DOES SHE NEED?!... junko in the meantime has been doing fuck all regarding her plan because seeing and torturing mikan has honestly been a blast of pure despair

Being completely honest with you... It's actually extremely likely that Mikan will get so frustrated with Junko not doing anything that her love may morph into unconditional hatred if anything sets her off enough.

True as it was that Junko forgave her, forgiveness to Mikan is more of a constant process, so to speak. Things being one-and-done piss her off to no end—the accumulation of grudges over the years can't be undone with a single "I apologise", after all. Give Mikan an outlet, and she might just rip into Chiaki inadvertently.

There's a part of Mikan that feels awful at holding this rage inside of her, a part of her that feels sad seeing people affected by her feelings... but there is a part of her deep down that enjoys it, too. Even worse, a part of her that thinks she isn't doing enough.

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She is now actively muttering things under her breath as she does her work. She is going on tangents... It could get ugly.

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Mikan unleashes all her rage and frustration on lumine and the next day she'll just say good morning to hajime like nothing happened.. A weight has been lifted from her.. Unfortunately it's not the 400 pounds she carries on her gut..

You would think that would be the case, right...? Hajime wasn't around for it, but he noticed that something shifted in the air...

Thing is, Mikan doesn't look particularly relaxed now regardless. As a matter of fact, uh, she looks ACTIVELY aggravated now...

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I like to imagine that Mikan's just one bad day away from snapping and unleashing her fury unto people like Ned Flanders in that one Simpsons episode.