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@stxrkisms

It was the most wonderful time of year & Amy Pond always gave the absolute best presents. If it was a job, she’d have had it, and thinking about it -- why didn’t she make it a job? Someone who helped people buy & craft meaningful presents for the people they loved. Her thoughts only drifted because she was nervous, there was a brilliance about Tony ( that he also possessed ) that she admired. Amy hoped her present for him would be clever enough for him to thoroughly enjoy, while still filling him with a sense of warmth and love. 

“Open it already,” Amy urged, plopping the square shaped gift onto the table between them, an excited, mischievous smile on her face. “I’ve NOOO clue what I ordered off Amazon all those months ago for you, so, who knows what’s in there. Certainly not me.”

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hey!! my name is jinx and i’m an amelia pond enthusiast -- i’ve been playing her for 5+ years and i just love her so much. i hope this word BLABBER makes sense!! i’ve decided to parallel some canon because why not, so see if you can catch it. please like this if you want to plot and i’ll slide into those DMs!! 

Amelia Pond grew up in the Scottish Highlands for the first 5 years of her life to two Purebloods who were way in over their heads. They were Unspeakables who decided to try to bring some of their work home with them. This caused their house to become a magical black hole and as it started to break apart -- it wasn’t safe for anyone, especially not a child. Amelia was drawn to it. She was interested, she was fucking scared, she was also infinitely curious, always trying to break into her parents study where they worked, often succeeding. One night, Amy realized she was home alone much later than usual and waited on the front porch for her parents almost all day every day for seven days -- unbeknownst to her they had been on the run, having been caught smuggling their work home, hoping to shake them off and pick up their daughter when the coast was clear. Amelia waited. She brought her meals out, she dragged a mattress into the front of the house outside, some of her books and toys. No matter how cold, how wet or rainy, she waited for them. A little bit before her fifth birthday, Aurors came to seize the Ponds home, the magical artifacts and scripts they had stolen as well as their daughter. The Ponds came back, tried to fight them, needless to say this did not go well -- the Aurors eventually won, arresting them and taking Amy into custody. Luckily, they got ahold of her aunt who begrudgingly took her in. 

The magic she was exposed to warped Amy’s reality -- in fact, due to it, she doesn’t remember her parents even though she sometimes desperately tries. Mentally, this has taken a huge huge toll on her and did especially as a child-- all she remembers is a piano, a few glowing cracks in her wall, and waiting for a week. Sometimes, flashes come to her in her dreams, but she doesn’t know what to trust, the feeling of them heavily disorienting her. Her aunt was a Squib and addict, who despised magical society, living on the outskirts of Godric’s Hallow in the muggle town bordering it. Every question Amy asked about her parents was ignored, she was either yelled at or met with a scowl. In primary school, Amy talked about how she’d seen magic, how she’d seen broomsticks -- everyone thought her crazy. Her teachers eventually brought her to the school doctor who recommended she saw a psychiatrist -- her aunt, who could’ve easily stopped this, who could’ve easily explained, didn’t want to intervene so she let them. 

As a child, she doubted a lot of her reality but Amelia was fucking stubborn. She saw what she saw, she knew what she knew, she felt what she felt and that was that. Four psychiatrists couldn’t tell her she was telling tall tales or lying, that she was delusional -- magic was real. It was all real. She wouldn’t give up. How could she? It was the only connection to her parents, it was the only thing she knew she had of them and her childhood, these scattered memories, this random knowledge. Deemed the weird crazy girl at school -- Amy ran with it. Fuck them. She didn’t need anyone. She had her stories, she had her magic, she had herself -- that was all she needed. Spending excessive time by herself, in her own head, exploring her surroundings, she became something of a loner -- her doctors became worried about her but her aunt just wanted nothing to do with her, often leaving her to her own devices. 

Some days, Amy believes meeting Rory Williams saved her life because the fact was? She needed someone to believe her. To believe in her, to love her for all that she was, crazy maybe, eccentric, loud, lively, headstrong. He did. More importantly, he believed her. Even after the doctors diagnosed her with mild psychosis ( they hoped this childhood obsession would go away soon ), he didn’t think she was crazy -- at least not in that way. He was her first friend, her best friend, when she got her Hogwarts letter, had McGonagall come to her home and explain everything -- it was the first time she weeped from relief. While Amy believed she wasn’t crazy, after being told you are, bullied, neglected, she had the deep rooted fear that maybe she was. This confirmed everything for her, this gave her purpose. Amelia was right, magic was real, and Rory was going with her. Her life was finally going in the direction of wonder, magic, everything she believed in and she started writing about it. Amelia decided on her first day, on the platform of 9 3/4 that she would now go by Amy. Amelia was the crazy girl who lost her parents, Amelia was the little girl left, the girl who waited but Amy? Amy was cool. Amy was who she’d be at Hogwarts, who she wanted to be at Hogwarts, Amy was her new life and a new chapter. 

Easily, her outgoing personality, her curiosity, her brashness and her undying love and loyalty for others who earned it made Amy quite popular at Hogwarts. Being sorted into Gryffindor was perfect for her, Amy fitting into her house like a glove. Part of the Charms club since her first year, she’s extremely proficient in Charms and loves History of Magic ( even though Binns as a teacher is a snooze fest ) -- though she’s not always the best student in every subject. Amy tries, but school has never been a good place for her even if it’s magic. She had friends in every house, she was known for giving cheek as easily as professors gave homework -- her vibrant personality was for once appreciated. The girl who was a loner, who wasn’t good at playing with others, the weird girl transformed into a redheaded bombshell especially when she hit puberty. Amy had trysts with people of every gender, her popularity expanding as she talked with and met more people. Some professors found her annoying, some thought her to be effervescent and refreshing, either way she was one hundred percent undoubtedly herself. Some days, Amy cannot fucking believe that this is her life, that magic is real, that people actually like her and other days she knows it’s what she deserves, she has an extremely high regard for herself and who she is. But it fluctuates, more than she’d care to admit. 

If you notice, if you really do, you’ll see the cracks underneath the surface -- the way her romantic relationships never last more than 3 months. The ways she barely drinks at parties and doesn’t touch a single drug at them. The little ways she avoids questions about her home life underneath sass, sarcasm, cheek, jokes. The fear of being left by almost everyone she loves, the fear of investing herself in someone so much only for them to leave or worse, forget about her completely. Nightmares plague her and have since she was a child, this last year she’s tried to do research on her parents, who they are, coming up short. In her seventh year, Amy is extremely scared about going into the real world, feeling like she’s not prepared at all. She loves writing, sure, but working at the Daily Prophet? An internship working for people who will most likely not appreciate her work or let her write anything actually worthwhile? Sounds shit. All of her insecurities, her fear, she hides under personality, having an extremely hard time admitting that she’d clueless about the future because it’s admitting a weakness she doesn’t want to expose.

ABUSE, NEGLECT, DEPRESSION TW.  In the last few years, Amy has found herself dealing with depression which flares up especially during the summer when she’s with her aunt or really, when she’s being neglected by her aunt. Even though they moved to Godric’s Hallow, the wizarding section, a few years ago, she’ll spend a lot of time alone if she’s not with Rory or a few other friends. You can find her in her bed for days on end, sleeping, reading, writing, in her head completely, only for her to come out of it seemingly fine and like nothing happened. Being at home brings up feelings of worthlessness due to her aunt’s neglect and gets her in a very dark and bad place. Paired with her fear about entering the real world and leaving Hogwarts, Amy writes and writes and thinks about her future with both excitement and intense dread. 

NOTES ( some analyzations from canon ): 

One of my favorite aspects of Amy’s character is her empathy & intuitiveness. While sometimes lacking social grace and not always the best with interpersonal relations, she can see people for who they are deep down, their intentions, the emotions she feels like she feels from others often overwhelming but something that does lead her. A gut instinct magnified. She’s intuitive and empathetic because she’s got such an active imagination paired with a creative mind, she’s able to put those two things together, not only painting a picture of who someone is, painting colors on them they might not see themselves. Maybe this is a bit naive at times, maybe even a bit dangerous if it steers her wrong ( which is why Rory Williams is so important to her, her impulsiveness paired with this can get her into tough situations and he always has her back, always by her side ). Amelia is not always one to think before jumping into situations if she feels it’s the right thing to do, a prime example of this is her running off with The Doctor EASILY. Both as a kid and an adult. Luckily, not many have taken advantage of this as she can be extremely closed off emotionally. She’s a good judge of character and if she puts her faith in you, know while it could be surprising, it was a very much calculated, thought out, and a felt through choice. Amy’s extremely stubborn so good luck getting her to do something she doesn’t want to do ESPECIALLY if she doesn’t feel it’s right. Amy is usually able to connect to anyone and everyone some sort of way when she tries due to all of this, usually better with connecting to people than the ( Eleventh ) Doctor himself is.

[ EMOTIONAL NEGLECT MENTION, ALCOHOLISM MENTION ] Verbal, straightforward, blunt, but it when it comes to her emotions, the ones that hurt, the ones that can’t be wrapped in something beautiful or lightly joked about are the ones tucked away. Amy’s got serious commitment/abadonment issues as well, as shown throughout Doctor Who. I play her Aunt as a high functioning addict, growing up she was never really home much less attentive to Amy ( also due to the whole crack in Amy’s wall thing, but, that’s a whole other topic ).

Despite being a rather fearless person, due to this, she will make fear based decisions as well as decisions based on her insecurities that she’s not enough, that she’s more pain than she’s worth, out of not being able to give someone she cares about what they need. For example, when in canon Amy breaks up with Rory because she feels so guilty she can’t have biological kids when she knows he ALWAYS wanted kids. She was scared if she stayed with him, he’d hate her, that she was keeping him from having a fulfilling life, that she wasn’t enough and didn’t fit into what he wanted. Rory deserves everything to her, she couldn’t give it to him, when he gave and gave and gave to her. She didn’t feel worthy, but she didn’t express that fear either, making Rory feel completely shut out because she was shutting him out. She’ll self sabotage easily, because commitment & abandonment are scary to her and she’d rather be the one leaving than being left. Amy can’t stand to wait for the worst to happen, for the other shoe to drop, she isn’t the fucking girl who waited – not anymore.

Amy is diagnosed with major depressive disorder previously diagnosed with psychotic features added on as well until the Doctor came back but after having 4 psychiatrists in her youth, Amy definitely fits into having MDD. There are many evidences in canon besides her literally going to psychiatrists that suggest that Amy is mentally ill / ND, another hint in the episode ‘Vincent and The Doctor’. Amy empathizes with Vincent Van Gogh ( my Amy is an extreme art history lover as well, especially Vincent Van Gogh ), she says she’s been where he is, that she gets it. [ SUICIDE MENTION ] She is physically effected when he talks about dark shit and in another episode with the Dreamlord, she talks about how she doesn’t want to live in a world if Rory’s not in it, then killing herself in the show. The way she does it in my head ( and in the show ) is extremely steely, easily done, because Amy has dealt with mental illness, because she’s been in dark places & suicidal ideation. [ END OF SUICIDE MENTION ]  In this RP, I have her as mentioned dealing with depression and such too though not yet having reached out for help for it, Yet. 

SHE IS A SAGITTARIUS and it fits her perfectly. 

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“Merlin, I’m so bloody old. It’s my first Christmas and exams with reading glasses and before you know it I’ll be old and grey. SENILE too, I reckon. Better start looking for old age homes to put myself in after I graduate.”

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Maddie Greer

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Brave is not convenient. It is not simple and stylish, a sweater to be removed at ease. It is a weight, a rock, a cross to be carried daily. The decision to yet again be brave is not daintily made. It may not be easy, it may not be worth it. But how many have said, “oh, I wish I hadn’t been so brave”?

Michelle K., Brave. (via michellekpoems)

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I don’t know why, I have no idea, but quite possibly the single most important thing in the history of the universe is that I get you sorted out right now.