maddysworldofchaos

[maddysworldofchaos]

overestimating how much you mean to someone really fucks you in the head

[maddysworldofchaos]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

WHO IS USING THIS

AN APP??? THEY HAVE A FUNCTIONING WEBSITE

THE LAST FUNCTIONING WEBSITE

[maddysworldofchaos]

when you see a calendar do you flip to your birth month to make sure your associated image slaps or are you some sort of freak

[maddysworldofchaos]

shipping something as a joke but then actually starting to ship it

[maddysworldofchaos]

Being the oldest child is a lot of pressure. But being the oldest daughter with a younger sister is just being a caretaker, friend, guard, example, matchmaker, cage, biggest fan, mother, protector, adversary, schemer, comforter, test subject, villain, father, rough draft, pioneer, editor, tutor, provider, embarassment, first to fail, selfish, opposite, competitor, refuge, only one who understands, martyr, ruin

[maddysworldofchaos]

i visit home

dishes are stacking, windows are smudged, the fridge exhales a pungent aroma upon opening.

it’s not my house, but it costs me something to pretend not to see The Mess.

so my fingers grow pruny from the dampness of the rag and my nostrils burn from the bleach fumes—

it’s all i can offer in place of my aching love.

[maddysworldofchaos]

I am so tired and burnt out, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore

[maddysworldofchaos]

The professor said to write what you know, looking backwards might be the only way to move forwards. Then the actors were hitting their marks, and the slow dance was a light within the sparks. And the tears fell in synchronicity with the score, and at least she knew what the agony had been for. THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT

[maddysworldofchaos]

mike is so #babygirl 🎀

I think about this scene way too often

[maddysworldofchaos]

whats gayer??

1. actual gay people

2. whatever mike and harvey are doing

[maddysworldofchaos]

So I’m rewatching supernatural and the way Dean just shuts down around his dad will never fail to fuck me up.

Dean is the kinda guy who you’d assume has the fight drama response. He’s loud, impulsive, cocky, and brash. He is not any of those things around John. His trauma response is fawn. I know because it’s mine too. Conforming to what someone wants to keep them happy.

You bend yourself any way they ask until you break. Sometimes you’re never able to find your way back to your original shape. Sometimes you’ve been doing since such a young age that there wasn’t time for you to be your own shape before you were moulded.

Dean Winchester was parentified in a way that is usually seen most in eldest daughters. Which is why he resonates with me so much.

God I hate this show it makes me feel so many things

[maddysworldofchaos]

In another universe I'm not the eldest daughter

[maddysworldofchaos]

why do I relate to every line

author: @jing-le-bells

[maddysworldofchaos]

“... woah! hang on”.

[maddysworldofchaos]

depression tips™

shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.

moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over. 

put on clean, comfortable clothes. 

put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.

drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink. 

blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something. 

make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.

go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.

cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. take pictures of them. talk to them. tell them how u feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out.

[maddysworldofchaos]

my favourite ao3 tag is “#no beta we die like men” when you see that tag yk the fic us gonna be good

[maddysworldofchaos]

eat

read fanfic

cry

sleep

rinse & repeat