maddyi

[maddyi]

just popping into say that i treat my answered memes like starters, so pls feel free to continue them if you’d want to int <3

[maddyi]

@caesie​​    sent   ,         “   when this is all over, i want it to be you and me.  ”         x .

“  it’s always going to be you and me no matter what.  ”         the lukewarm water coats her skin,   small waves pushing over body over a stimulated current,   the colors pitch black with the painted porcelain floors.    she keeps her eyes closed,   wanting to feel as weightless and empty for as long as she could         -         the weight of her fucking life had grown unbearable,   suffocating,   a noose around her neck that just seemed to tighten and tighten even when familiar handprints had finally faded from the surface of her skin.    it’s so exhausting being who she is sometimes,   she wonders who she would be if she just left without warning,   packed up her shit and embraced the maddy perez she knew she really was         -         the one without anchors keeping her tethered,   without her fear looming in the crevices of her mind.    and when she opens her eyes,   she’s greeted with the same darkness but out of the corner of her sight,   she spots sunshine,   light,   her saving grace         -         her soulmate,    cassie.

the pool is quiet,   soundless,   aside from the brief splashing and muffled breathing.    this is their sanctum,   their safe space,   their escape from the world.    when maddy thinks she could disappear without a trace,   she remembers how utterly fucking lonely she would be,   and how nothing could replicate the bond she she shared with cassie.    it scares her sometimes,   having that attachment,   putting that trust out.         “  we’re gonna ditch this sorry ass town,   and the cunts,   and the bullshit.    we’re going to make those plans from our dream planner a reality.  ”         head turns the slightest to better view her,   ends of brims curving upwards,         “  you and me,   bitch.    don’t ever forget that.  ”

[maddyi]

#maddy owns the word

[maddyi]

@dvnities​    sent   ,         “   are you in the witness protection program, or what ?  ”         x .

“  bitch,   i don’t have the energy.  ”         she catches a glimpse of her own reflection from the bathroom mirror despite the fact that she’d been purposely avoiding it,   the state of her appearance uncharacteristically stooping to the lowest tier of her priorities.    dark crescents line her eyes from blatant lack of sleep and nobody knew this,   but she skipped all of her steps of her basic routine aside from the first,   which was literally just splashing water.         “  are we ditching or not ?    i feel like killing myself for a box of chicken nuggets.  ”          she feels as shitty as she looks,   has felt this shitty for what felt like too long despite it only being a day.    the grey hood over her head shields a good portion of her features from anyone else entering the bathroom,   the longer sleeves covering her bare fingernails.    she shouldn’t have bothered showing up to school,   but she couldn’t deal with the questions,   the nagging,   the guilt from being unable to let her mother in.  

ivories gnaw on her bottom lip,   gaze narrowing at lucy,         “   it’s not like you had better shit to do,   right ?  ”

[maddyi]

ALEXA DEMIE as MADDY PEREZ in Euphoria | 1x05 

[maddyi]

“I’ll never find that kind of love.”

[maddyi]

@beenhappier​    sent   ,         “  i need to get out.  ”         x .

she wants to laugh.    it’s fuckin’ ridiculous,   really.    something straight out of those cliche telenovelas her mother used to watch.    she’d given the locked door maybe two punches,   three kicks,   but that was it         —         there was no way she was breaking a nail over that shit,   and not for the traitor that stood just a few feet away.    far too close for her liking.    not because she felt disgust,    no,    she felt that too         —         but because she felt this petulant desire to reach out and console her,   to hug her,   to tell her everything would be okay and that all of that drama was nothing against their friendship.    but those would be lies,   they tasted like acid rising in her throat,   she wanted to vomit.    right on her face.    it was what cassie fucking howard deserved,   at the very least.

“  no,   bitch.  ”         her tone is pointed,   irritated,    one rising octave away from a back - handed slap meeting her ex - friend’s face.         “  i need to get out.    you need to stay in your lane,   though you’re obviously fucking incapable of doing that.  ”         the supply closet isn’t as small as she would have expected,   but not big enough to distance herself.    it reeked of chemicals,   but she supposed she would welcome the rumored high they’d give instead of tolerating sharing a space with cassie.    she wants to ignore her,    let her go,   try and move on from it all but the questions she’d been keeping buried were gnawing at her,   scorching her tongue.    so she leans her back against the wall as warm discs narrowed at her,   daggers ready to aim         —         or she wants them to be daggers,   but only sadness filled her gaze,         “   you gonna stop being a cunt and say something ?    anything ?    what was the point ?  ”

[maddyi]

hello DEMON

[maddyi]

@fezcko​    sent   ,         “  why do you have that look on your face ?  ”         x .

manicured brows furrow,   then seamlessly shifting into arc as judgement stains her features,   glossed lips parting to speak.    but nothing comes out for a moment other than a drawn out hum to fill the gaps,   left eye squinting at him.         “  like,   what do you mean look ?    what look ?    i have a look ?  ”         nose wrinkles as a scoff escapes her throat,   acrylics threading through curled obsidians,   skillfully flipping the length over her shoulders.         “  i don’t have a fuckin’ look,   it’s just my face.  ”         she’s not upset,   not really,   more amused than anything but the natural scowl in her lips and the glint in her eyes said otherwise.   

maddy doesn’t know what she’s doing at the store.    takis ?   hot cheetos ?   an arizona tea ?    none of which she even allowed herself to eat,   like,   ever.    she only knows what bb always brought to her house and the powder - dusted fingerprints embedded in parts of her furniture.    heels echo with every step she makes,   tongue clicking the roof of her mouth as she peruses the store.         “  do you guys have,   like,   i don’t know     ...     one of those packaged salad sets ?    or sparkling water ?  ”         she reaches out to snatch a bag of dried mangos,   the crinkling loud through the brief silence as the song in the background changes,         “  are you ever not here ?    or is this,   like,   your full - time job ?  ”

[maddyi]

more random dialogue prompts ,

“why do you have that look on your face?”

“finish what you’re doing, we have to talk.”

“what have you done to yourself?”

“did you do something different with your hair?”

“it doesn’t do any good to get worked up.”

“when was the last time we had a real conversation.”

“are you in the witness protection program, or what?”

“there’s something wrong with me.”

“no, i don’t hate you.”

“hey stupid.”

“we’re aren’t them.”

“looks like i’ll live long enough to make you pay.”

“you know you’re wrong.”

“i don’t understand, why are you doing this?”

“now, before i say anything, promise me you’ll stay calm.”

“what makes me so special?”

“you have no idea what i’ve been through.”

“you really don’t have to do that, not for me.”

“did you really think you’d get a second chance?”

"how about we don’t do that.”

“i have a lot going for me, but humility is not one of them.”

“you’re the worst.”

“i don’t need you right now.”

“don’t just stand there, looking at me.”

“i thought you were supposed to call me.”

“take my hand.”

“i need you.”

“you’re allowed to need help sometimes.”

“for someone who doesn’t like to feel things, you sure feel a lot of it out loud.”

“when this is all over, i want it to be you and me.”

“why won’t you tell me what happened?”

“you don’t know what this means to me.

“i know it doesn’t make sense.”

“i’m trying really hard to keep it together.”

“i know you’re new, but we do things a little differently here.”

“your voice is putting me to sleep.”

“did you find what you were looking for?”

"you knew and you didn’t even warn me?”

“well, i guess that’s broken.”

“i thought it was part of the act.”

“you think u don’t know you’re only here because they sent you?”

“you promised to call me if you didn’t know what to wear.”

“you can keep a secret, can’t you?”

“how could you do this to me?”

“put the gun down, dearest. i have news!”

“i know you don’t have any reason to trust me, but you need to know something.”

“if you’re here to tell me what happened last night, someone beat you to it.”

“people think i’m weird.”

“i think i’m losing myself again.”

“you can’t be here.”

“i wish you’d come to the funeral.”

“do you know what today is?”

“so, you broke my favourite mug… and you’re breaking up with me?”

“i need to get out.”

“it’s like i’m cursed or something.”

“you are remarkably well-behaved tonight, what have you been up to?”

“you gonna eat that?”

“sir, the pony rides are for children only.”

“i don’t want you to worry about that anymore.”

“we’ll never make it in time.”

“you’d be late for your own funeral.”

“you should have seen it coming.”

“oh, good, you’re here! hold this.”

“why can’t you just be happy for me?”

“on a scale of one to ten, how do you feel about nachos right now?”

“is this how you flirt with everyone?”

“how much longer till we’re there?”

“what have you done?”

“it’s time for you to repay that debt you owe me.”

“where did you get that? who gave it to you?”

“what kind of mother has thoughts like that?”

“i know I haven’t been what you needed, but i’m here, and i wanna help.”

“i never want to hear you say that again.”

“you’re all i have.”

“i know it’s not perfect, but i did follow the recipe this time.”

“i was doing so well until you showed up.”

“don’t eat that! i made it ‘specially for our guest.”

“it’s not that i don’t like my life, it’s that i don’t have the energy to enjoy it.”

“how can you stand this place?”

“don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t exactly blend in.”

“you need to stop.”

“i don’t like that look, what happened?”

“is that seriously your password?”

“what’s your problem?”

“you had no right to use it without asking.”

“oh, wow, you weren’t kidding.”

“i couldn’t trust my own parents to protect me.”

“i’m surprised you haven’t been arrested yet. wait, no, i’m not.”

“why do you want to help me?”

“ten bucks for that piece of crap?”

“we have to hurry, they’re coming!”

“hey, look what came in the mail!”

“do you want to get a drink or something?”

“please tell me you didn’t eat that.”

“the worst part is you didn’t even notice.”

“if i wanted help, i would have asked.”

“wanna tell me what’s going on with your grades?”

“you need to leave.”

“talk to me, okay? i need to know what’s going on.”

“i do blame you.”

“sometimes life deals you a bad hand, but you can still play your cards right and win.”

“you’re no longer useful to me.”

“i’m not good with sarcasm: if you don’t like me, just say it.”

[maddyi]

we    don’t    eat    carbs !         //           a private     &     selective writing blog featuring         maddy    perez       from hbo’s euphoria.      portrayal is primarily drawn from the series,         largely    headcanon    based .      as warned by macy.        22 ,    she / her,    est .    march  2022 .

MEMES .   

GUIDELINES + INFO BELOW .

i don’t plan to be here in the long run, so have these rules + info <3 you can access my multi’s carrd for the more detailed version. tldr: this is a TEMPORARY blog <3 i aim to last maybe a month or so.

indie and selective maddy perez from euphoria, i don’t own her but i do own all headcanons, studies, and further developments - pls don’t steal them. 

duplicate friendly !

please be 18+.

softblock if you’re gonna break mutuals.

please don’t use screenshot replies. embarrazzing.

euphoria is a whole trigger warning of its own, so expect the same content from the show to appear on this blog. i will not water down anything, i will not censor anything, i will not pretend that maddy’s abuse did not happen or that she herself did not commit Problematic acts as well. i also ,,, will not be censoring maddy’s language. she’s vulgar, that’s just the way it is. 

i don’t use trigger warning / tw format, i will just simply tag the word. i also do not default tag anything aside from explicit / graphic written or visual content. pls msg me if u do need smth tagged tho

uhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah <3 sexy lil dash icon credits to tas hehe 

im macy, 22, bi woc !! 

PORTRAYAL INFO.

canon compliant for all seasons tbh. i don’t see anything i need to change. 

i do think she continues with cheer, despite it not showing, so i’ll make that an aspect. they never talk about education / college etc .............so i’ll also be focusing on that! she probably gets into a decent uni on a sports scholarship for cheer or fashion idk i haven’t decided lmao.

college / post college verse for maddy has her exploring fashion <3 she’s interning at places, trying to get jobs, etc. i do think she tries to become a model, so that’s her attempted side hustle.

maddy and cassie? that’s up to plotting tbh. i think she’s tired, i think she’s exhausted. she doesn’t hate cassie, but she just doesn’t care anymore. she’s disappointed, and over it.

[maddyi]

#ICONIC

[maddyi]

MADDY PEREZ Euphoria | 2.06 - A Thousand Little Trees of Blood

[maddyi]

#euphoria season 2 finale