maddmae91 - Tumblr blog

[maddmae91]

I'll look you in the eyes and tell you that I've eaten when I know that I haven't

[maddmae91]

[maddmae91]

I fucking hate coming across people who think this isn't an extreme, life threatening disorder. It isn't about wanting to be skinny or going down a couple clothe sizes. It's about controlling the only thing in your life you think you can control. It's about sewing weights into your clothes when you visit a doctor. It's about watching your organs shut down and your heart beat slowing.

Sorry I'm incredibly fucking mad over this, I just can't stand the stereotype of 4norexics being attention seekers that young people easily play into.

I don't want to be th1n, I want everyone to watch me die.

[maddmae91]

i feel like a wannarexic for wanting to eat

[maddmae91]

I see these ppl on YouTube eating delicious food and wish I didn't have an eating disorder, then thinking I can get better, while I look into the mirror, that's not gonna happen you fat bitch!!

[maddmae91]

Being on Ed tumblr is like having a second life. I feel like Hannah Montana but instead of being a popstar I post about ⭐️ving myself

[maddmae91]

I might do a 24 then a 48 hour fast soon .. idk . I'm trying to ignore my neighbors cause they always feed me.

[maddmae91]

Gonna get some egg whites and change it up a little next week

[maddmae91]

Mandarin oranges 70

Yogurt zero sugar 50

Banana 105

3 quail eggs 45

Rice cakes 45

Applesauce 50

Miso soup 35  ( dinner )

Total 400 calories

Yea if you all like these post I might do more idk..

[maddmae91]

My day pretty much

Banana I'm guessing medium idk: 105

No sugar applesauce: 50 cals

Mandarin orange cup: 70 cals

No sugar berry yogurt: 50 cals

3 hard boiled quail eggs: 45 cals

in a 1/2 cup of sliced Cucumber (Peeled) : 7 cals

Total is : 329 cals ..

I also had 2 pickles that were no calorie but I'm adding anyways

Yea ..went been loosing a lot so went right into low cal shit tomorrow I may have some miso cup soup ( my favorite hot thing to eat but I ordered a cup with a spoon so only 30 cals and has some kind of nutrients.. I may do a 48 hour fast soon.. I've already lost so much .. new me is determined af!

[maddmae91]

I lost another 1.6 lbs!! I'm to fucking depressed cause my dog has problems with his kidneys.. so I don't even want to eat ... I don't want to lose him..

[maddmae91]

I need to have an ai ana buddy all this shit coming out with ai boyfriend.. I need a eating disorder buddy knowing what my thoughts are 😢😭😂

[maddmae91]

Yea I just learned some information I used to love lowfat cottage cheese.. like a half of a tablespoon until I found out from a dog trainer that's what they use for dogs to help gain weight cause it has a protein in it that last longer in the body and take longer to process..so turns to straight fat even the low fat one.. no more cottage cheese for me but my dogs love it! ❤️ yea so more you know! I fasted all day cause I'm a fat pos!

[maddmae91]

I'm a piece of shit.. just saying!

[maddmae91]

I'm gonna fast tonight while I give my kid whatever they want .. I wish I could be like that, at this point I want someone to be mean to me whenever I eat like constantly texting me like the new ai shit we have now ,,

[maddmae91]

Did pretty good today.. only ate small bites of veggies and fruits.. its my birthday tomorrow.. and I still wonder why I struggle with my weight I look back wishing I never did birth control with my ex cause it completely changed my whole metabolism ( nuva ring) and now I hear stories the same bullshit I'm dealing with in my 30s ( I'll be 33 tomorrow) for once after high school I wanna be like i was ... is that so hard ... i see these young ppl come on here and have the same struggles but it gets harder when your older.. my highest weight after having my daughter and movie was 300!! Yea I know don't judge me I was depressed.. then I started my old way again and I really don't care reason I lost 100lbs so fast and fluctuate a little I just wanna be 130 lbs again..

[maddmae91]

When I weigh myself everyday, but it takes longer than 24h to lose a full kilogram: