mad2jokes

[mad2jokes]

The Bottomless Hole

Two guys are walking down a road when they come across a deep hole beside it. Being curious, they go over and check it out. When they look down, they are surprised to find they can’t see the bottom. So they drop a couple of rocks down the hole and listen… Nothing. One of them says, “Man, that’s a deep hole!”

Thinking they might hear something larger hit the bottom, they find a big, old cinder block and pitch it over the side. They pause and listen intently… They hear a sound, but it is coming from behind them! They quickly turn around to see a goat bearing down on them with its head lowered, flying along, its feet barely touching the ground, its moving so fast!

The two men dive out of its way just in time and the goat plunges past them, into the seemingly bottomless hole, to its doom. The two look at each other and say, “Boy that was close! We’d better get away from this thing before we end up with the goat!”

So they continue on their way down the road until they happen across this farmer working near it. The men again put their heads together and figure that the goat belongs to the farmer and the decide to tell him what happened.

“Hey Mr. Farmer. Do you happen to own a goat?”, one of the men asked. The farmer replies, “Yeah, why do you ask?” The men then tell what happened at the hole and how they narrowly avoided death in the hole from the speeding goat.

The farmer said, “Well boys, I don’t think that was my goat. You see, my goat was really old and crippled up with arthritis. There is no way he could have been moving that fast. Besides, I had him tied to this big, old cinder block.”

[mad2jokes]

Bald eagle

A hunter kills and eats a bald eagle, and is arrested for violating the Endangered Species Act. He pleads guilty, and throws himself on the mercy of the court.

“Your Honor,” the hunter said, “I had no idea that it was illegal to kill and eat a bald eagle. If you let me go, I’ll never do it again.”

“You’ve committed a very serious crime,” the judge replies. “But you clearly weren’t aware of the law, so I’m willing to overlook it this one time. However, before I let you go, I’m going to ask you to do one thing.”

“Anything, Your Honor,” the hunter replies. “What is it?”

The judge says, “It’s been illegal to kill a protected species for many years, so very few people have ever eaten a bald eagle. For the record, can you please tell everyone what a bald eagle tastes like?”

The hunter thinks for a moment and then replies, “It tastes pretty good. Kind of like a cross between a spotted owl and a condor.”

[mad2jokes]

Two Of These

A little boy was watching a handyman at work on the upper story of a house. Suddenly the man drops a hammer, and comes down the ladder to retrieve it.

The little boy calls out, “My daddy would have two hammers so he wouldn’t have to come the ladder when he dropped one.”

The handyman says, “Yeah, that’s great, kid”, and climbs back up the ladder and returns to work. Within a few minutes, he drops his screwdriver, and comes back down the ladder.

The little boy calls out again, “My daddy would have two screwdrivers so he wouldn’t have to come down the ladder when he dropped one.”

The handyman mutters something and returns up the ladder. A few minutes later, the man realizes he has to go to the bathroom. Unfortunately, he has no way into the house, so he climbs down the ladder and goes behind a bush.

When he’s finishing up, he notices that the little boy has followed him. “I suppose your daddy has two of these too?” he asked.

“Nope,” says the little boy, “but my daddy’s is twice as big!”

[mad2jokes]

Day Joke

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[mad2jokes]

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[mad2jokes]

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