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Yo mr white look what I made. That’s a stone, Jessie, you didn’t make it. It’s a football. I chiseled it, bitch. Well, alright, Jessie, throw me a pass. It’s even regulation size and shit. But not regulation weight.

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if walter white was the scientist from honey i shrunk the kids he would be like “i did not shrink our children skyler. i did not. walter junior was always this size, we named him that because he is so small”

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Incredibly vivid mental image of Jon and Martin babysitting for someone and Jon doing peekaboo for the baby. When he opens his hands dozens of extra eyes appear. The baby cries

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Hey uh sorry about your boyfriend. Yeah he’s sort of your boyfriend girlfriend now. Yeah he’s pretty enough to lie to. Sorry about that.

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early to bed and early to rise leaves a man so fucked up that he dies

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The end result of my own reckless impulsivity

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not my whoville ass eating roast beast

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bringing back this old joke in honor of this ask

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god, why is HE third-wheeling on our cryptid hunt…

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This is literally them irl wdym

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some WIPs that’ve been untouched since last year haha OOPS